|So many strong takes|
The days of loser low-ceiling programs like Nebraska and Wisconsin with their safe, wanker coaches being at the top are just about over. In two years, The Four Horseman are going to ride at the top again with only Jerry Kill flipping and twitching at their heels. Urb is going to keep rocking. Dantonio has his formula down. Jimmy BRAH has already invigorated life into a dead program and will have them in the playoff mix soon enough even if he has to kill everyone and he will do that. And James Franklin is quietly cranking things up to 11 in the rape showers at PSU. These four programs are closing in on making the Big 14 the Big 4. And, this probably sounds weird coming from my ELITE fingers, that is a good thing.
The big bowls start up today and you can use this post as an open forum for New Year's Day if you want (unless Ape has another kid on the way that he wants to talk about tomorrow LULZ) but I wanted to throw out some ideas and thoughts that I've had through the 2014 bowl season thus far:
*I say it every year but people whining about there being too many bowl games should sop up the blood leaking from their giant gash. Assholes that think this way are actually arguing for less football. Move back to Iran. No one is forcing you to watch it.
*I have already told the missus that should the RedHawks ever get the invite to the Popeye's Bahamas Bowl (MAC tie-in), we are so there. There isn't a better bowl destination outside of the old BCS bowls than that, bruh. She agreed. Now we've just got to get bowl eligible!
*Watching the Pinstripe Bowl, which continues to be a MASSIVE success by the way, that first half was the worst football I have ever seen. EVER. BC's two minute drill was three runs up the middle at the 50 yard line. And every time that they showed James Franklin, I just couldn't help but think "this guy is a dirtbag...he has sleazeball written all over him". Anyone else think the same thing? Dude can coach OBVZ but I'm sensing some shade there.
*Tough Sun Bowl loss for Duke and GSaul. It really has to suck to get beat by ASU coach Patton Oswalt. What a loser Todd Graham is. Of course he's a Todd. Maybe Burke will stop by and tell us what the local yokels think of him but, to me, Graham is a loser with that weird headset of his.
*Everyone see that Texas A&M assistant straight up punch the WV player in the back of the head? Good because that's the last time that that black guy will ever see a football field again.
*This is going to sound odd but I think that Bert Bielema has a monster brewing down at Arkansas. You've got to give a lot of the credit to Bert's groomed stubble which is far cooler than Dut's version. Usually, when we talk about Dut's beard, it's about his lady friend. Count it.
*RIP Everett Golson: Starting QB. It all went to shit faster than Joe Paterno's legacy!
*BOB STOOPS IS SUCH A LOSER! PRESEASON TOP 5 MAYBE THEY MEANT 5 LOSSES, BRUH! DREW KNOWS NOTHING! Jesus Christ, who goes from beating Alabama to getting obliterated by commenter Jeff in less than a year? Dabo Swinney has embarrassed Lester, Urb, and Bobby Poops the past three bowl games. That's impressive.
*Any truth to these rumors that Broxton Milner could go to Duke? That will truly test GSaul's allegiance.
OK, let's finish this by predicting the semifinals. In the first, I've got to keep rolling with the Noles. They always find a way and the Ducks are a pussy team with a shitty coach. Give me FSU 31-30. In the nightcap, as a hater this one scares me, but I just can't shake the idea of Saban and Kirby Smart having a month to prepare for Cardale Jones. I don't see him playing half as well as he did in Indy and he will need to to pull the upset. Another legitimate concern for Ohio is that they are lining up against athletes that aren't even remotely comparable to who they played against all year. It could take a while to get used to that and by then it could be too late. I'm not all that comfortable with the Vegas number but I am pretty sure that Phyllis From Mulga will go to bed happy tomorrow night. Let's say ROLL TIDE 31-17.
Stop back by on Friday for Semifinal fall-out as well as the start of our NFL playoffs contest that we do every year. Everyone be safe tonight and only drive if you're really drunk. As for me, I will be sitting at home, carrying the flag OBVZ, drinking by myself while the women fall asleep at 9, and making jokes to the dog about how hilarious Dick Clark was after his stroke. You know, good times. ROLL TIDE!