The Great Brady Debate

A real quick post before we enjoy the holiday weekend and it's about fantasy football. You're damn right that "Fantasy Football Friday" is coming back very soon. Today we examine what the Hell us general managers should do about Tom Brady.

Obviously, we all remember how sick nasty Brady was two years ago when he and Randy Moss alone connected for 400 touchdowns and Wes Welk-AHHH caught 6,000 balls from him. If you had him that year and you didn't win your league, not only should you be embarrassed beyond belief but you should also be killed. And not a quick death either. Something horrible like being sodomized with a grenade by Al Sharpton and after two hours he finally pulls the pin. It should be that painful if you failed with 2007 Tom Brady on your team.

Well then last year, Bernard Pollard ended many fantasy seasons (MINE!) in less than a quarter. Now, if you won your league LAST year and you drafted Brady, then you should get a free kill. But I doubt that this happened in ANY league. I've got to think that Brady went in the top 5 of all drafts last year (and if he didn't, your league is awful). So where do you slot Tommy Boy now that all reports state that he is healthy?

I mean, you can't just forget that the guy literally had his knee torn to shreds less than a year ago. But then again, we have seen what he can do. He still has Moss and Welk-ah. They brought in Joey Galloway's gray goatee and Fred Taylor should take some stress off of the passing game. So when should he go? Here's your answer:

You can't take him in the top 5. You just can't. It would be like dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight (Batman reference!). I would be nervous as fuck to take him in the top ten. I think that Drew Brees is a shoe-in to be the first QB off the board but I do think that Brady probably is the next best. Peyton is great and all but I don't really trust him in fantasy. Romo is a faggot. And the only other QB worthy of being picked in the top two rounds MAY be Warner...but that is a stretch.

Think about this though. In the G$FL, we run a tight 12 team league (which is set up so REGISTER YOUR ASSES NOW!). Say your old pal G$ gets stuck at pick #10 or 11 (which will surely happen because the fantasy Gods hate me). I take the full time limit to realize that a question mark Tom Brady is a much better option than Steven Jackson or Frank Gore. So I make the move on Brady at the end of the first round. When it comes back around to me with the 14th/15th pick, I am jumping ALL OVER Randy Moss. And I will see you fuckers at my victory parade.

Basically, it boils down to how much of a risk taker you are. My definitive stance on this is that starting at pick 9, feel free to start considering Tommy Brady. Your welcome for the advice. Have a good Independence Day everyone. By the way, how awful is that movie? Just terrible.

What Is Your Plan, Joe Dumars

OK, the Pistons have struck first during free agency by apparently reaching deals with Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva. We all saw what Gordon can do against the Celtics. I have not tried to hide how much I wanted CV in Cleveland (and he even reciprocated some of these feelings on his Twitter page). But in the end, the Cavs didn't have enough money. CV took the cash over the chance for a ring. And that's fine, I guess. It felt like the Pistons main target this summer was going to be Carlos Boozer. But ask any Cleveland fan, Boozer can not be trusted so he stayed in Utah and left Dumars with his dick in his hand. So let's talk about these two guys and try to get into Joey D's head to figure out what he is doing.

Gordon - I've never been a big fan of the guy because it feels like he's a fair weather player who would rather score 40 and lose than 10 and win. He just seems pouty and does not deal with adversity well. He is also EXACTLY the type of scorer that Allen Iverson was in that he needs touches and he needs shots to get going. We all saw how well the AI experience went over. And he plays no defense. Don't get me wrong, he's a great shooter when he's hot, but he lacks consistency. He can help...but he ain't no 55 million dollar man. I find it hard to believe that any other team would have come within 10 million of that deal.

Villanueva - The man with no eyebrows would have been a perfect fit with Bron, Shaq, Mo, and D-Lo (and God dammit, if this means that Rasheed is coming to Cleveland...). He's not a good defender which is fine if your team plays good d. He has no eyebrows which for some reason I think is cool. CV has a tendency to fall in love with his 3 point jumper which is not even close to being at 40%. Just looking at the guy, you get the feeling that he doesn't always try his hardest and that he's sometimes lazy. They got him for 8 mill/per year for 5 years and that is about right although a bit more than he is probably worth. A pretty good signing nonetheless.

But here is where I'm lost. Exactly what is Joe Dumars' plan here? Their payroll is currently a bit over 58 million so they have very little wiggle room left to work with. Yet they have absolutely no one that is any good playing in the paint. NO ONE. Maxiell? Kwame Brown? Woman Oberto? CV? That is it. You can't win with that frontcourt no matter who you have on the wings. And who cares if McDyess comes back on the cheap. That guy sucks anyway.

I just don't get it. Why are they breaking the bank on Ben Gordon when they already have Rip, Stuckey (who I still don't think is all that good), and Prince? Commenter Drew seems to think that Rip is on the move (to the Clippers for Kaman). Hamilton is owed over 49 million for the next 4 years! Why would anyone take on that contract? Not even the Clippers are that stupid. In my opinion, you are stuck with these 4 and they are not going to be happy at all. Prince might be moveable as he is only signed through 2011 at 21 mill total, but come on. Maybe next year someone will jump at him but not this season.

Considering that this moron GM fired his coach the day before free agency began, I am impressed that he was able to sweet talk two good players into coming there eventhough they have no idea as to who they will be playing for. With the way that this roster is shaping up, to me at least, maybe Dumars is bringing in Thad Matta to coach the team. No point guard? Check. No center? Check. Forty 2's and 3's? THAT'S THAD BALL!!! Now we're talking! Let's play zone!

This team won 39 games last year. Just an awful season on all accounts. Hell, Dumars' stupidity made Bill Davidson kill himself. Right now, I would say that MAYBE they are 3-4 games better than they were last year. Is 19 million worth a handful of wins? Who knows, maybe it will work out. But I do know this: if you are going to trade away one of the more popular players in team history (who is still a very good player) to get cap space, you've got to do better than Gordon and CV. Why not make a run at Paul Millsap? The Jazz can't afford him now and at least he does all the dirty work for a team. It's hard to expect rationale from this dumbass, you know, because he drafted Darko.

If I have one purpose on this Earth, it is to tell everyone in the world just how overrated and stupid Joe Dumars as a GM. 2004 was a loooooong time ago. On days like this, my job is a lot easier. **Unless something comes up over the next 24 hours, expect an off day tomorrow. Go out and enjoy the birth of America, you terrorists.

Tiger Woods Supports The Handicapped

Look out, Tiger! There's a dumb whore (who appears to be under 200 pounds now) and a shitty quarterback (who is probably fumbling something in his pocket) standing right next to you. You won't see them though because they are both irrelevant. Maybe this is what Jim Brown was hoping for when he called out Tiger for not taking a stand for social change. Tiger's reply was to have his picture taken with a couple of retards. How sweet of him.

This post just gives me a chance to say something that I haven't said in awhile:

Tony Romo is not good. I mean, seriously, who still wears Starter gear? I can't wait for Albert Haynesworth to eat his face this year.

Who Trades For Eric Hinske?

UPDATE!!! Fuck Brian Cashman in his smelly goat ass. He will burn in Hell for this.

Hank Steinbrenner: Brian, com'eer a-minute. We need to talk.
Brian Cashman: Sure thing, Hank. What's new?
HS: Look. I like the way these guys are playing but they could be better. I want to make a move.
BC: Oh, ok, it's a little early for that but what did you have in mind? Maybe another bullpen arm?
HS: No way. My name does not make the Times by adding a middle reliever. I want to go out and get a big bat.
BC: Well...the team is starting to hit it's stride so I'm not sure where we could fit another guy. We've already got 4 OF's and a guy who can only DH. But who do you have in mind? Matt Holliday? Adrian Gonzalez?
HS: Eric. Fucking. Hinske.
BC: Eric Hinske? The same guy that is riding the pine for the Pirates 6 nights a week?
HS: Yeah.
BC: The same Hinske that has one home run this year and is terrible defensively?
HS: You know it.
BC: The same Eric Hinske that looks like Randi Coy's older asshole brother from My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance? Who doubles as a guy that looks like he would have grown up in Archbold, OH.
HS: You bet your scrawny ass, pal. This is my guy.
BC: Hank, ummm, we already have Eric Hinske but we call him Nick Swisher and he's better.
HS: Yes, but Hinske was the AL Rookie of the Year in 2002.
BC: That was 7 years ago, Hank.
HS: But he has already played for the Red Sox, Rays, and Blue Jays and I want to beat Peter Angelos to the punch. It will be a cold day in Hell before the Yankees are the least team in the AL East that Hinske plays for.
BC: So you want to trade for a guy who is not good and really never was...just to one up the owner of one of the worst franchises in sports?
HS: Now you're on the trolley.
BC: I see. Look, Hank, if we wait a week or two, the Pirates will probably just cut him anyway.
HS: NO! It's been almost a year since I've shipped prospects to Pittsburgh and we must do this now! Do you remember how great Nady and Marte were?
BC: Well, Xavier has already played his last game for us and Marte's ERA is in the millions. Meanwhile, the two arms that we sent them are producing.
HS: Brian, Brian, Brian...it's the cost of doing business. You've got to spend money to make money and so on and so forth. You have to shoot for the moon because even if you miss, at least you are still among the stars. 2 Legit 2 Quit.
BC: Are you just spouting off random cliches?
HS: Cash, are you going to do this for me or do I have to tell my dad that you are not respecting my authority?
BC: No, we can do this but I guess I just don't see the logic behind it.
HS: GOD DAMMIT, I GREW UP RAISING HORSES AND WORKING IN THE STABLES. I NEVER MADE A PENNY OF MY OWN. MY FAVORITE ACTRESS IS JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT! THIS IS MY FUCKING TEAM AND I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, YOU LITTLE BITCH, SO GET ON THE FUCKING PHONE AND GET ME MY CAREER .254 HITTER WITH NO POSITION!!!
BC: Sure thing, Boss.

Eric Hinske is fucking terrible. He has no place to play. The Yankees deemed this guy worthy of sending two prospects to the Pirates for him. I would not give them two candy bars for Hinske's services. You could get 11 RBI from Ed McMahon. I really do believe that this is how the Yankees front office operates. And it makes me sad. Dumbasses. I thought that they finally had it figured out.

Mike Brown Has Options

I realize that this was for charity, but I still found this hilarious. Why? Because in less than a year, this could be Mike Brown's actual profession.

Just in time for the Fourth of July holiday weekend, 100 surprised motorists received free gas (up to $30) courtesy of the Cleveland Cavaliers and fueled by Kia Motors. At 2:00 p.m. this afternoon, the free gas started flowing at the Shell station located at 3020 Carnegie Ave., in downtown Cleveland. Cavs Head Coach Mike Brown was on hand to fill the tanks with an assist from the Cavalier Girls, Scream Team and mascot Moondog.

Mike Brown pumping gas...priceless. Do you think that Phil Jackson pumps gas? He probably doesn't even do shit for charity. Greg Popovich actually eats orphans.

With free agency starting, well, NOW, the Cavaliers better get their shit together and either lock up Charlie Villanueva or Matt Barnes. Both would fit well in the system and may help Coach Mike avoid filling up the cars of other motorists with the assist of a dog mascot. At least he is wearing those NBA socks.

Cheap Beer Day!

Let me explain why we are going with this topic today:
*The sporting world has given us nothing to talk about.
*It took me almost 48 hours to shake off Saturday night's accompanying hangover.
*I got my picture taken with the Miller High Life Guy.

When you combine all three of these, why not talk about our favorite cheap beers? Look, we've all been there before. It usually took place in our late teens or early twenties, but back in those days, you had no money and needed to get fucked up every weekend. Fortunately, there are numerous breweries that targeted this market section. I mean, do you really think that Natural Light would still be around if it wasn't for broke college kids and my future father-in-law? Of course not! Because normal people do not like the taste of hops, barley, and goat shit.

I'm not really sure why, but the Kroger in Oxford had one of the sickest beer departments I've seen outside of Canada. They had EVERYTHING. And that included a wide variety of cases for under $15 and 6 packs that could be purchased for the price of a pack of Juicy Fruit (which just so happens to be Drew's nickname down in the Short North). Anyway, I wouldn't be caught dead drinking a Natty Light or a Beast or a Coors. But I did have my favorites and my 5 favorites are below.

5. Mickey's - Ah yes, the worst of the worst when it came to malt liquor. One of my boys used to drink this shit all the fucking time in the freshmen dorm and for awhile I could stomach it myself. I even bought a Mickey's bar sign on eBay! Do I still have that? Would She$ have a problem if I nailed it to the wall in our living room. I truly believe that Mickey's could be the worst drink ever. I believe that their slogan was something like, "for the man who can't afford King Cobra, drink Mickey's".

4. Schaefer - I'm not willing to do any research on this, but I think that this is brewed in Milwaukee and it was all sorts of awesome. Every time that I crushed a 12er of this shit, I'm quite positive that my self esteem was at it's peak. People would ask, "What's gotten into G$"? And someone would reply, "He looks like he's hopped up on Schaefer again". Actually, this beer might not even be real...it could have just been a mirage. But I will tell you this: Heaven serves Schaefer. I guarantee it.

3. Schlitz - I was pounding this stuff way before Rod Farva made it cool. I can't say this enough: Schlitz. Is. Awesome. Do you remember the 2001 World Series? The first two games that Arizona won, I drank Bud Light. The middle 3 games that the Yankees won? A 12 pack of Schlitz each game poured into a Schlitz goblet. I go to OU for Halloween on game 6 and get 3 40's of Budweiser for game 7. That lost series was my fault because I disrespected the greatness of Schlitz. It gets a bad rap in my opinion. Trust me on this, take Schlitz to the next gathering that you go to. You will be as popular with everyone as the Dos Equis guy.

2. Miller High Life - My Senior "season" of college, this was all that Kuehn and I drank. It helped that our favorite bar sold bottles of the stuff for $1.25 (and 75 cents on Thursday nights!). For as much as I respect living the high life, I just couldn't drink it today. I've babied my colon for too long. It is no longer made of iron from case after case of the champagne of beers. Even if I could finish a bottle these days, I would be on the toilet for at least 6 hours a day for the next 3 weeks. But I will never forget living the high life...and trying to picture the chick on the bottle nude.

1. Stroh's - I HATE Kid Rock but he really nailed it with his lyric, "30 pack of Stroh's, 30 pack of ho's". I love Stroh's. The only "bar" that I've ever seen it sold at though was River City Bowl-A-Way. They used to carry a 12 pack of it there JUST FOR US. The cool thing about Stroh's is that they make a point of advertising that it is "fire-brewed". I have no idea what that means but that is all sorts of awesome. Is it made out of lava? It would not surprise because only the coolest of the cool are allowed to drink this greatness anyway. Coors likes to tell you that their beer is the coldest around, well Stroh's says fuck that. We brew ours with fucking fire!

There you go. There is my list for drinking on the cheap. Man, I really, REALLY want a Stroh's right now. It's too bad that this guy probably drank it all. Let's discuss cheap alcohol in the comments, shall we? Maybe we can turn back into a sports blog again tomorrow.

"I Need My Pills!"

So my bachelor party has come and gone and, as expected, it was a great time. Even set against the depressing backdrop of Cleveland, Ohio, it did not disappoint. Well done, Damman, on coming through and giving all of us a good time (with his mouth). It was even cool finally meeting crotchety and angry commenter, Seal, and seeing all of the old JBeanie commenters (except for Beanie himself who turned out to be a coward). How about I share a few tales from the weekend for you, huh? I mean, it's what you want. After all, I truly do believe that the actions of one of my boys caused the death of Billy Mays but you will have to wait for that analogy.

We roll into northeast Ohio early on Saturday and check in to our EXTREMELY sketchy hotel. We all cab it down to Panini's and start the drinking at around 3. A couple of notes about Panini's: they actually have one of those sex toy dispensers in the bathroom! I haven't seen one of those things in years. At this point, I was coherent enough to do what I wanted to do...trying to find someone wearing the most bizarre jersey possible. I actually saw Reds fans wearing Adam Dunn shirts and an Indians fan wearing a CC t-shirt jersey. They cost $20 bucks...go out and buy a new one, ya cheap bastards. Why would you buy any Adam Dunn merchandise anyway? Much props to the guy wearing a STEVE KARSAY jersey. That takes some balls. But the one that was the "best" was the old man wearing a #1 Reds jersey with "DAD" on the back. I'm sure that Izzy Mandelbaum would argue that this guy is not the #1 Dad but I'm not sure how official those rankings are. Well done, #1 DAD, you are an asshole.

We moved onto the Thirsty Parrot for some more debauchery which is where we ran into the aforementioned Beanie crew. Thankfully, both posse's got along well and we avoided a West Side Story-esque, finger-snapping rumble. This is where things got good. Out of nowhere, Windell Middlebrooks shows up. Who is that, you ask? He is none other than the MILLER HIGH LIFE GUY!!! He was wearing his High Life shit and everything. Nice guy, and he took pictures with everyone. He even wished me good luck on my wedding. He's totally invited now! It was at this bar where some asstard tried to get in Reba's face and I played peacemaker until he got pissed off at me. It went like this:

G$: Dude, relax. He bumped into you on accident and apologized.
Asstard: He was hitting on my buddy's wife (which he did not do anyway)!
G$: Well...is she hot?

He did not take this too well. But JB told a cop that he was picking fights so they threw him out. This is probably about the time that I should explain how awful my explosive, biohazard gas was. If there is a farting hall of fame, I would have turned in the tape from Saturday night as reason why I should be included. It was horrendous. I was literally clearing out sections of people and all the while laughing maniacally. It was definitely the best performance around Progressive Field that night.

We did not win any of the FREE MONEY NIGHT money. We all got $1 vouchers which were all given to me and I parlayed that into a Leinenkugel's in the bleachers. We walked into the game at the same time as John Adams AKA the dickbag that always bangs on the drum in the outfield. Damman and Jeff H got their pictures taken with him. I think that Damman had a boner. The game itself was as awful as a Tomo Ohka/Homer Bailey game could be. Thankfully, we had no kids sitting near us so we had free reign to swear up a storm and entertain all that sat near us. I know that I very loudly announced that Grady Sizemore is struggling this year because it's hard to swing with a dick in his mouth and that he has purple lips just like A-Rod. That went over well. We left early due to the awfulness of both teams, but it was fun acting like the old guys from The Muppets that just rip on everything that they see. That was us on Saturday.

Now I'm wearing my Yankees hat just to let everyone know how much better I am than them. On the way out, a few guys who were playfully busting my balls every time that I walked by started shooting off at the mouth again. It was the typical shit which was easily swatted away with a "the Indians are fucking terrible". But one guy threw out the worst smack of all time by yelling out "Go Xavier Nady"! Really? That's where you're going to go. Xavier Nady smack? I hope he got hit by a bus.

We drink a few more beers and it's time to head to the gentlemen's club. Somehow we all got in for free and it was a solid time. I was done with beer and switched to 7/7's at that point. It looks like you're drinking scotch. I felt like "the world's most interesting man". No, I did not go up on stage with the whores or anything. It was just a normal night of paying chicks to take their clothes off. The important part of this story is from when we left.

They are kicking everyone out and at this point, JB decides that he wants to leave his mark on the night. So he starts faking an epileptic seizure in the strip club. Now normally (I think), you have spasms when you seizure. JB's seizures required him to walk into a bunch of rooms, knock over chairs and tables, throw stacks of paper in the air, and scream "I NEED MY PILLS!!!". It took 6-7 employees to escort him out but it was funny because since they thought that he was having a seizure, they didn't kick the shit out of him. And of course, as soon as he stepped outside, he was normal again. And they all saw it. It was like when Verbal Kint turned from gimp to Keyser Soze. Hilarious. By the way, JB threw up all over himself about 10 minutes after he did this. And now I am certain that since my boy faked a seizure for laughs...something bad had to happen in return. Sorry, Billy Mays, JB killed you with his dickheadery.

Finally, everyone hops into a van to head back to the shithole hotel except for Damman, Joel, Kuehn, and myself. There was not enough room. We're just hanging out in front of a strip club at 3 am in a terrible part of town. It's been 45 minutes and no cab has shown up eventhough we called for three of them. So this old lady driving a van shows up and picks up 3 drunk guys and she asks us where we need to go. She tells us to hop in. Let me be clear on this: this WAS NOT a taxi service. It was just some old lady driving around The Flats in a conversion van at 3 am. Although this is sketchy, fuck it, the four of us hop in. The lady has a DVD going of some Michael Jackson concert. It was weird. Really weird. She took us back without raping/killing us and we gave her like $5, but it was just bizarre. We just got into some weirdo's van...that is when you know that you've had too much to drink. And we asked her to take us to Taco Bell at least 10 times.

At about 3:45, the first appearance of Naptown Wolverine's testicles are seen. I didn't think that it would take that long. I angered Damman with this missive when he was already passing out (keep in mind, I talk REALLY loud when I'm wasted):
G$ - Hey! The Tribe traded DeRosa to the Cardinals.
Damman - I DON'T FUCKING CARE, GOD DAMMIT! GO TO FUCKING BED!
Classic.

So there you go. I'm sure there were a few things that I missed so feel free to add on in the comments. I will say this, Bob Evans hangover breakfast was absolutely terrible. I spent $5 on chocolate milk there though...which is always clutch. I've rambled on long enough so I've got to get going. After all, I NEED MY PILLS!

Stick It Up Your Brown Eyenga, Danny Ferry

God dammit. First of all, I wasn't planning on doing anything in anticipation of commenter Drew's guest post regarding why the Pistons were fucking stupid to draft Byron James Mullens. Didn't happen so I have to show up today and post something on my bachelor party eve.

Second, I have to listen to dumbasses wax idiotic about the life of Michael Jackson. Hey assholes, the guy raped numerous young children and paid his way out of prison. Who gives a shit if he made Thriller? HE SODOMIZED MACAULEY CULKIN AND WEBSTER!!!! Did the guy deserve to die and thus we should be pointing and laughing? No. But he sure as shit didn't deserve to live. Fuck him. I hope that Hitler is fucking him in the ass with a porcupine in Hell right now.

And finally, FUCK YOU, DANNY FERRY! You make an extremely solid move by adding Shaq to the Cavs and made a 66 win team better. Cavs fans were counting on some maneuvering last night to add a nice role player to the rotation. Everything was falling into place at pick 30 to get someone who can step in and help right away. Hell, you had your pick between Sam Young (who I really wanted), DeJuan Blair, Chase Budinger, DaJuan Summers, ANYBODY. Your move? Some fuck-up from the Congo named Christian Eyenga. Fucking Christian Eyenga.

I just don't get it. This guy will never step foot on an NBA court. He will likely never even see an NBDL court. If you didn't want to pick anyone, then why not just trade it? Why take a guy that will never contribute to this team and will be paid in AIDS vaccines and machetes. Jesus Christ! I had this text convo with occasional commenter JBeanie last night after that stupid pick:

Me: FIRE FERRY!
Beanie: He would have been there in the second...or in 2014.

That is freaking hilarious but sadly true. What was going on in the Cavaliers war room anyway? Did anyone even show up except for the Somalian janitor? Did they forget about the last time that they drafted a guy from Africa? How did the Desagana Diop pick work out? FUCK!

Whatever. It's time to start focusing on the weekend. I will know this afternoon if our offer on the house was accepted and then focus on my last ditch effort to remain a swinging bachelor. Oh, and Damman, we need to add another event to the weekend. All 14 of us are going to shit in a bag, light it on fire, and then drive over to Danny Ferry's house and throw it at his smelly face. Have a good weekend everyone and pray that I don't drink myself stupid. Feel free to discuss the draft in the comments.

This Really Hurts To Admit

With the always awesome NBA Draft tonight, I feel the need to say something. In regards to my Cavaliers and their draft, I have done a complete 180. You all know who my least favorite college basketball player probably ever is, right? Psycho fucking T himself. But I need to think about what would be best for my Cavs. And that is why I have done an about face on Hansbrough.

I really think that the Cavs should buy a pick in the teens and get him. You don't know how much that hurts to say, but I believe it. Much like I wanted the Redskins to go out and get T.O., sometimes you have to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. It just makes sense for multiple reasons.

1. Anderson Varejao isn't coming back. And why should he? He wants big money and is a 7 points/7 boards guy. Those players are a dime a dozen. Those are Kurt fucking Thomas numbers!
2. Hansbrough could instantaneously fill in for Andy. He's a scrapper who will dive all over the place and can get boards.
3. He has a pretty good mid-range game (AV does not).
4. He can make free throws (AV does not).
5. He would do this at a fraction of the price of Varejao. The Cavs are walking an extremely fine line when it comes to the cap anyway so cheap labor should be applauded when they can get it.
6. Look, we all hate him, but Hansbrough wins. He knows what it takes. He's not a headache. His effort is never questioned. He's very coachable.
7. That being said, I would rather have DeJuan Blair over Hansbrough but he will probably not last through the Pistons and the Bulls at 15 and 16 respectively.

I don't know that I could ever scream out "Fuck yeah, Psycho T is sick nasty!" but I think that he would be a nice little piece if he dons the wine and gold tonight. And don't even go there trying to say that I'm a fan of his because you know that I'm not. This is purely about making the Cavs better and if the opportunity arises to go get him, Danny Ferry needs to do that.

Ugh, this post made me feel so dirty. The Spurs and Wizards actually make themselves better this week and here I am talking about drafting an awkward white guy. Maybe I need another vacation from this here blog?

By the way, as long as the Cavs' pick is a known player, I have a feeling that he could be throwing out the first pitch at the Indians game on Saturday night. Just a hunch though.

You're Fired

In case you were concerned, I finally relieved our realtor of his "duties" yesterday. I use quotes around duties because he did very little other than making us twist in the wind for almost 3 months. And I accomplished this feat in the most awesome way possible...through e-mail! Honestly, I do not owe him any more than that. You may think that firing someone is awesome and, well, it is. There is no greater thrill than telling somebody that you don't want them anymore.

It almost made me puke thanking him for the "work" that he put in but it had to be done. This guy is the Shane Montgomery of realtors. She$ and I are ready to roll on another house anyway (update: actually put in an offer last night! Yay, being grown-up!). Our new realtor actually appears to care about us and that is quite refreshing. We may, just may, be living under the same roof by Christmas...4 months after our wedding! What can I say? I am one hell of a catch. Sorry, ladies, this sexy demon is off the market.