|I told you all that we would hire a vest, BRAH!|
That’s right, it is NEW Miami University head coach, Chuck Martin! After finishing up the 2013 season as the fourth worst offense of the past 25 years, change was needed and, from what I can see, change is a-comin’. All along, I had heard that we were going after a guy with FCS head coaching experience which sounds good in theory but pretty much means that you won’t be making a splash hire. We all know that I was on Team Jim Tressel but, I must say, Martin is a pretty goddamn good hire. If you know anything about college football, you know that Grand Valley State is one of the finest programs in the country at the DII level. Martin went 74-7 there as the head coach. He left that job 4 years ago to join Brian Kelly’s staff at Notre Dame. Murders aside, I think we can all say that Kelly knows how to coach and I’m not concerned at all about grabbing someone near the top of his coaching tree.
Combing through Irish message boards, their opinions on Martin are primarily all positive. There are even some that would like for Martin to spend a few years in Oxford only to come back and take over if or when Kelly leaves or steps down (due to murder count, I imagine). The most often discussed features of Chuck are his fiery demeanor, commitment to discipline, and recruiting. For a mid-major school coming off of a winless campaign with a robotic, emotionless moron at the helm, I am down with all of these traits. It’s not going to change overnight because the talent level is so poor, but I feel confident that the dark clouds are scattering over SW Ohio. This will get better. I can think of way worse programs to model yourself after than GVSU and Notre Dame.
Needless to say, the next few year’s tailGREATS just got an injection of CHUCKSTRONG. BEAT MICHIGAN (our first game next season)!!! The coaching carousel is starting to churn so let’s talk about that today.
Steve Sarkisian to USC – Ugh, will the Trojans ever let go of the Pete Carroll Era? This hire is so uninspiring. Fire Lane Kiffin—hire his buddy! I give him a bit of a pass because Ty Willingham killed Washington before Sark took over, but he has had 5 years up there and hasn’t accomplished anything. So now he’s good enough for a promotion to one of the five best jobs in the sport? Fuck that. Much like Andy Enfield for the USC hoops job, Pat Haden failed again.
Ed Orgeron quits USC effective immediately – Now I never thought that DACOACHO should get the head job but he is just as good of a coach as Sark is. I lost a lot of respect here for Orgeron. He recruited almost all of these kids and he just leaves them to pursue other jobs. There is no dignity in that. This reeks of immaturity and low class. Ed always talked about loving his players and then he doesn’t get his way (which was a long shot to begin with) and he bolts. He must love them like a deadbeat dad loves his kids. That being said, Florida Atlantic should hire him today instead of dicking around with a certain moron DC from Ohio.
Who’s going to EMU? – GUARANSHEED that you haven’t thought about this opening but the only reason that I mention it is because JERRY GLANVILLE has expressed interest in the position. HOLY SHIT THIS WOULD BE THE BEST. I bet that he would still leave two tickets at will call for Elvis. How do you make MACtion even better? Duh, the old Oilers Run And Shoot, BRAH!
Votes of confidence! – Bo Pelini and Wil Muschamp each got one from their AD after the weekend even after Pelini dared Nebraska to fire him. Call his bluff, corn cobs, and shit can his ass! My prediction is that both of these assholes get fired because they deserve to be. Who won’t be getting fired, though, is Mack Brown…unless Baylor beats them by 30 this weekend then maybe.
You’re stuck with FagNasty Fickell – I hope you’re happy with an underachieving defense that can’t read screens because you’re going to get the same thing next year. Fickell isn’t going anywhere which is great because his bitch wife won’t let him anyway. Hey Mrs. Fickell, you are a twat.
So there we go…plenty to talk about today. Just know that yesterday was the first time that I’ve thought about my alma mater and nodded approvingly in about two years. I’m so used to SMDH. CHUCKSTRONG!