|DON'T YOU DARE THROW MY CRACK, OLDBOY!|
The concern going into this was that replay would unnecessarily extend an already way-too-long sport and—yep—it is doing just that. Now, on every somewhat close play, managers are strolling out to discuss the play with the umpire who made the call while looking into his dugout to see if he should use his challenge or not. If they say yes then he throws his invisible red flag and they go to the headset. If they tell him no, he can STILL stand out there and try to convince the umpire to look at the play again on his own accord. THEN WHY HAVE CHALLENGES IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE! This is stupid.
Who the fuck wants to watch a crackhead manager like Ron Washington having a civil Q&A with shithead umpire Cowboy Joe West? If Ronnie is coming out of the dugout, I want to see spittle flying, chest bumping, and an ELITE ejection dammit! We’ve only had two ejections this year. THAT IS NOT COOL. If you’re going to hold up the game arguing then someone better be getting the old heave ho.
But the main issue is that they still aren’t even getting the calls right. I’m not one to stand up for the Red Sox but they got TOTES fucked hard in Yankee Stadium more than once over the weekend. MLB and umpires alike always champion the notion that “the only thing that matters is to get the calls right”. I guess not because they aren’t even with more eyes and cameras on the games. I don’t know what the answer to fixing this incarnation of replay is but the way that it is currently being implemented in baseball is absolutely fucking wrong. This is not working and no one knows what the fuck they are doing.
Here’s a simple way to fix things: no goddamn challenges and it works like college football. If the control room wants to look at something closer, they buzz the crew chief, who stops the game, he puts the headset on, and we make the correct call under the guise that “the previous play is under further review”. That’s it. It isn’t hard. And we can get back to having hilarious ejections again the way it should be. Now make sure that you all take the afternoon off to get an early start on your Stanley Cup Playoffs tailgating as well as today’s day/night DH between Clark The Cub and the Yankees! Hey, speaking of hockey, how about a quick playoff preview/prediction (be thankful that I didn’t spend the whole day on this like I wanted to)?
I don’t care that the Red Wings won 3 of 4 over the Bruins this year. The Bruins have the better goalie and play grinding playoff hockey. They win in 5. As for the Blackhawks/Blues series, if my boys were not still playing, I would be ALL OVER THIS series because this should be a lot of fun. Neither team lost to the CBJ this year which tells me that they are both ELITE (if the Jackets beat you then you are not ELITE…simple equation). Give me the Blues in 7 since we don’t know how healthy Kane and Toews are. I also like Montreal, The NY Rags, Colorado, Anaheim (although I don’t love it), and the Kings (never trust the Sharks). Which leaves us with the crown jewel series of Columbus and Pittsburgh. I am delusional but not THAT delusional. We are massive underdogs (just like the 1 seed Blackhawks were to the 7 seed Red Wings last year OBVZ) and have never won a playoff game in our 13 years of existence. Hell, we have never HAD THE LEAD in a playoff series. It’s going to take a big effort just to stretch this bitch out to 6 games. But I’m a homer so I will always feel that we have a chance. Two things definitely need to happen for the CBJ to push the Penguins:
1. Ryan Johansen HAS to be the best player on the ice in the series. This will not be easy but the world is about to find out that this kid is a fucking superstar.
2. Sergei Bobrovsky HAS to be the best goalie in the world. This can be done but will also not be easy.
Even if you don’t follow hockey, you at least know that Sidney Crosby is a little bitch who was probably the cunt who stuck that American Airlines plane up his box the other day. How great would it be to end his season? Oh man that would be THE BEST. Fuck it, Jackets in 6. I fucking love the Stanley Cup Playoffs now let’s drop the fucking rubber already! CARRY THE FLAG!