|I said "SHUT UP, NET FACE"|
Drew has accused me here and in person of being a closet Ohio State basketball fan. It took all of my inner strength not to rip out his throat. But I do have to admit that this collection of guys aren't very hate-able. Other than that waste of life shooting guard, they all seem like good guys. In the past, it was easy to hate them. Evan Turner was a whiny bitch, BJ Mullens was white trash, KoKo's mom tried to run the team, and Oden/Conley just used the school as a stepping stone to the NBA. At least that is why I hated those teams. But there is something different this year. Buford could have left early but stuck around to get better (which I respect). Lighty has fought through injuries to become a really good leader. Aaron Craft plays the game the right way. Lauderdale has set aside his crippling problem with premature baldness to bang for 15-20 minutes a game. And Jared Sullinger has about the most "in-check" ego I've ever seen from an 18 year old kid about to become a millionaire (which is refreshing). Damn Thad Matta for assembling a team of character! I need more scumbags (besides Rat Boy) to root against!
At a bar on Saturday, I told Damman that I was writing this. He was impressed that I would be so humbled to write something like this. While getting into the idea surrounding this post, we both agreed that this team has NO weaknesses. None. Go ahead and try to think of one...you can't. Sure, they are susceptible to deep teams that play fast and if they aren't shooting well from outside, they could be in trouble. But I wouldn't be too worried about that. Here are my reasons for why this team will be cutting down the nets in Houston come early April.
No more zone - Only cunts play zone. Good teams with good coaching staffs play man-to-man. This is why I hate Syracuse and always root against them. When you have the athletes, you are wasting them by playing a pussy 2-3 zone. It is fag-ball. I have no respect for zone teams at all. Their pussy defense was why I hated OSU over the last handful of years but they have scrapped that this season. And it's why I have no respect for John Bielein (and he looks like he fucks dead kids).
Free throws - Other than Lighty, everyone on the floor at the end of games can be relied upon to make their freebies in the clutch. How many times this year already have they iced games at the line?
Point guard play - You don't need a Chris Paul to win it all but you do need someone who can make plays. Aaron Craft might be the team MVP. The kid can play but then again, I'm a sucker for white kids dominating the point guard position.
Wings that can shoot AND get to the rim - We're going to just ignore the worst player in the nation on this one. Dinosaur Head Buford has a wet jumper and while Lighty making threes are a miracle, he's never going to force anything and he finishes well at the rack.
Unselfish superstar - Sullinger sort of reminds me of Carmelo. Not with the skill set but the sort of impact he makes as a freshman. He can score at will but he's also smart enough to pass out of double teams. A sneaky positive of his game is that he rarely gets into foul trouble. Right now, most NBA mock drafts have him going fifth (which is proposterous), I see him using the tournament to get up into the top 2.
Defensive force in the middle - Dallas Lauderdale, other than having a badass name, is pretty terrible on the offensive end. There is a reason why he doesn't even get passed to. But on the other end, he rebounds and swats the shit into the upper deck. He knows his role and that is important. It's the same thing with that Thomas kid. He knows that his job is to come and put up points. So far, so good.
Experience counts - Yes, they count on freshmen. But they also have good senior leaders in Lighty, Lauderdale, and Rat Boy. Never forget that Ohio State gets everyone's best games which makes every game feel like a tourney game. And that sort of thing helps come March. When you've seen everything, nothing should surprise you in the tournament.
Who cares if they are winning games by 5 or less against crappy teams recently. That just shows that they know how to close out close games. And that makes them even more dangerous. I've always said that I don't really think that Matta is the greatest coach out there, but he has sick deep and experienced talent that it shouldn't matter this March.
As I said earlier, I think a healthy Duke is probably a better team but who knows if Erving will be back. A deep team with skilled bigs could present issues which makes me think that San Diego State could give them a good game. Also, if they matched up in the Sweet 16 with a team like Missouri that plays 200 mph for 40 minutes, that could spell doom. But I wouldn't worry too much about that. Niche teams rarely advance far in the tournament.
So there you go, a nice post about the Buckeye Basketball team. If it ends up being true, look at how smart I am! If they choke, what an excellent reverse jinx I put on them! I win either way (not really, the bandwagon fans will surely make my life a living hell). I will be at the Michigan/Ohio State game on Thursday night. The tickets are coming from the coaching staff (I had to give personal info to the NCAA!) so they better be courtside. I want to be able to spit on Diebler and Zack Novak.