Wednesday, February 04, 2015

The Series Finale of The Money Shot...

Well, we did it.  This is the 2,385th and final post at The Money Shot.  February 4th, 2015 is probably going to be talked about more than 9/11 and Pearl Harbor combined when the new history books are written.  As I've mentioned over the past week, this day was coming at some point--I just did not know when.  Now that we are here, I'm strangely at peace.  It just seems right.  Helping ease the powerful feels is the next chapter of our internet lives anyway but we'll get to that later.

I started The Musings of GMoney (nice name, douche) in July of 2006 while I was living in a one bedroom apartment on the east side of Cleveland.  The idea was sprung on me by a current college football DL coach who thought that I could carve out a decent niche on the worldwide web with my unique opinions, brash style, and gorgeous looks.  Ironically, the plans for this site were hatched at the wedding reception of Ace's basketball coach cousin.  Dickhead was actually there when this site was mentally born and he didn't even know it.  Hell, we probably didn't even know each other at that point.  Either way, solo living isn't easy and I started randomly writing to get through the boredom and loneliness (very little of it was any good though).

Once I moved to Columbus, I started doing this daily.  I'm not sure if anyone remembers this, but I used to write posts as soon as I came into work every morning.  How mad would you jerks be if I was posting at 9 am every day still?  LOL SO MAD BRO.  We eventually started to build a following whether it be through lifelong friends from Nap, through message boards/links, or picking up losers off the scrap heap (Drew).  We added Mr. Ace along the way to lessen my burden and then he quit.  After a high stakes contest to replace him, we gained an Iceman.  Iceman then eventually died out of stupidity, came back as someone else, killed that guy off, and then became a born-again Iceman.  Never forget that this was all necessary because he is an idiot.  Then Mr. Ace came crawling back again and we had a threesome that was loved and hated and lusted after by all.  We developed our own played out words and phrases.  We LOLZed.  We cried.  We got erect. We got married.  We had kids.  We had incredible discussions about pornography.  It was everything that I ever wanted.

Over the years, and especially recently, people have asked what the goal was for The Money Shot.  Did I have bigger aspirations for the site?  To answer that question as plainly as possible.  No.  This is exactly what I wanted it to be.  I didn't secretly want to work at The Dispatch or whatever.  I can only imagine submitting this site as a writing sample and the sports editor saying, "Have you seen how this guy uses the word 'faggot'?  Incredible!  Let's put him on the Crew beat post haste!" I wanted a relatively small and tight-knit group that I could see myself arguing at a bar with over sports and life or whatever only doing it every day on the internet.  I had no intention of making it big as a blogger (LOL).  The only thing that I wanted from this was a distraction from work and/or life.  I love talking about sports and I REALLY love being right.  That's all that I've ever needed.  Finding a group of assholes with the same zest for internet life was all that I required.

No one has ever asked, but I do have two big regrets here.  It's nothing major but there were two stories/concepts that I wanted to address but never got around to it.

*Big Boy Work Stories - In high school, I was a server for six months or so at Big Boy.  Burke was a cook and a handful of our bros also worked there.  It was seriously the worst restaurant ever.  We picked on the mentally challenged dishwasher (she threw a butter knife at me once!), fucked with nearly everyone that tried to order via the drive-thru (I will never forget one guy screaming at the top of his lungs, "I WANT A GODDAMN PEPSI WITH NO ICE"!), and who could forget the fake shit.  I will tell that tale really quick.  Juan Negro and myself were the only servers on the floor one night and it was about an hour before close.  The only people in there were the regulars that just drank coffee and smoked a lot.  We see a car pull in and neither of us want to deal with them.  Black decides to put a lump of the plastic fake dog shit on the floor mat so it is the first thing that you see when you walk in.  This foursome opens the door, I smile at them, they look down, and then immediately retreat back to their car.  LOL!  Black and I went back to working on our Paul Bearer impressions probably.  There are so many good stories from that dump and I wish I had dedicated more time to telling them.
*The grandest finale - For YEARS, I had my exit planned.  It just didn't work out due to laziness.  It was going to be an incredibly high concept week-long post in the style of Vh1's Behind The Music.  Prime, Ape, Iceman, and myself would have formed a rock band and everyone who has contributed here in the past would have played some role in our story.  One day would be the rise then the break-through then the peak of popularity then the fall and to end with the redemption story.  It was going to be great.  I was mentally writing this thing for three years.  But it would have taken forever so I just never started.  SPOILER ALERT: Ape lost an arm in a fight with his savage dogs, Prime was murdered by Boogie Cousins, Iceman became addicted to ribs and was living inside a smokehouse, and I left the band to do acoustic sets under the backdrop of old Peter King columns called "Ten Songs I Think I Sung".  I was the one with the gigantic ego OBVZ.  And it would have ended with all of us burying the hatchet and going on one final Prime-less tour with each of carrying 50 pounds of fat on our frames just like every band.

So what happens now?  Where do we go from here?  I believe that I promised some sort of message board option?  To quote the great Walter White, "you're goddamn right".  Starting RIGHT NOW, the next chapter has begun.  When one door closes, another one opens.  That door has a big sign on it that reads ELITE TAKES.  Yes, ELITE Takes dot com is now your source for 24 hour smack talk and comment accountability.  It is intentionally a bare bones site.  No site banner that screams "not appropriate for work".  No spam.  13 threads and nothing but the best.  I have asked so little from all of you over the years (outside of Iceman and Mr. Ace).  I do ask that you register for the board and give it a chance.  What are you going to do?  Work?  Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!

That is it for us here at The Money Shot.  The comment section will be open until about 4 pm today until I shut down comments for good.  That will be sad.  The site will remain forever though because I am still very proud of what we have done and also because people need to be held accountable.  We've done some great work here, people, and you should all be pleased with what you've added.  I wanted to close with a quote from one of America's finest poets:

Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like

--Glenn Danzig

LOL!  Iceman thinks that he's hot.  Never forget.  Enough of that though.  One more time, thank you all for your support over the years.  We could not have done it without you.  Nine years is a long time.  Hell, this site can officially try out for Little League.  But it's time to send it out to stud and move on.  Adios, Money Shot, your services were always beloved by all yet are no longer needed.  We will love and miss you forever.  Goodbye.

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well done G$. We will all miss your musings on a near daily basis. Ace & Iceman... Thank You for your work here as well.

G$- I will make sure to inform the commenters of the new message board about some of the classic Big Boy stories.

I will miss starting my day w/ the Money Shot & checking the new comments every couple hours or so.

National Signing Day could potentially help boost the number of comments on this final post too. Let's hope KJ Hill, Damian Prince, & Terry Beckner all make the right decision & join a dynasty in the making...Urban is the best closer in the business!! It should be a great day... Go Bucks!!

Its been a great run & I'm glad I was able to be a small part of it for the past several years. We will meet again @ elitetakes.com.

Thanks again

Burke

Anonymous said...

Thank you G$ for this place over the years! What a run. But, it's also a new beginning over at EliteTakes.

One thing I'd suggest over at Elite Takes....each day a new thread for that day is started. The other threads will be good for keeping season long discussion for a topic in a place, but having a thread dedicated to each day will be a lot like the discussions here.

Burke...happy NSD to you as well. It's shaping up to be a crazy one. The Buckeyes have a 0% chance at Beckner, so stop wasting your time there...Urban didn't even make an in-home.

I have no clue what the two Cass Tech kids in Alabi and Weber are gonna do. I hope we keep Tardance in the fold mostly. I do think Hill and Prince will be Buckeyes.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Thank you, fellas. I don't know if I like the idea of a daily thread though. The point of this board is simplicity. I don't want 365 daily threads gumming up the board dadgummit.

Saw last night that if you did aggregate positional rankings than Chuck Martin has a top 5 MLB recruiting class. ELITE! How a 2 wins in 2 years team got the #14 MLB in the country is pretty exciting. Hopefully, we've got some cool names like Jack Snowball coming in today.

Mr. Ace said...

Thanks for the memories!

I don't even remember how I stumbled over to the corner of the Internet, but I'm glad I did. It was part of the reason I started my own blog and, in turn, started contributing here.

Can't wait to drop some #ELITETAKES!

And word is Weber told his family he's going to Michigan!!! I think Michigan's class will round out nicely. Probably not landing Clark, Smith or Marshall but Wheatley, Weber and Jefferson will make me happy.

GMoney said...

Drew broke a rule that I have not announced yet and am not sure if I can enforce before the damage is done anyway:

Don't start your own thread at ELITE Takes. Whatever you have to say, make it fit into one of the threads that have been established. Failure to abide by this and Nationwide will kill your kids and/or you.

Already got some "memberships" approved this morning and squashed our first spammer attempt. What a day! WOW!--Ghost Cakes

Anonymous said...

Drew- I know Beckner's not gonna be a Buckeye too, but it sure would make for a nice NSD surprise... anyways, I think Hill is in & we should know in less than 2 hours. I'm not as confident on Prince as some, but still cautiously optimistic he ends up in Columbus. The Cass Tech duo of Weber & Alabi, especially the former, could really change the make-up & overall ranking if they spurn the Buckeyes today. I really hope Gibson commits today as well b/c you can never have too many freak athletes on your team... I don't really envision any scenario where he is QB1 at Ohio State, but the staff will find a way to get the most out of him, if he signs today. Should be an exciting day for the college football fans/recruiting junkies...

Go Bucks!!

Burke

GMoney said...

You would want Mike Gibson. The guy eats grilled cheese sandwiches that he knows were spit in.

Also, everyone get an avatar today. GIFs work! I already stole cackling Jimmy Haslam as my own though. Sorry not sorry.

MUDawgfan said...

AWAITING APPROVAL :^)

Anonymous said...

Here is a potpourri, if you will, of statements.

Is it just me, or does the new website not work?

I will start threads on the new message board. DRAGON TALK will live on, and there is nothing you can do to stop me. There is, but that'd be a cunt move.

The lasting image everyone has of this board will be my face on the banner. That is dedication to the most ELITE CotY.

G$ should also have to buy ribs for everyone with his paycheck from this place.

Who is Stan? Now is the time to reveal yourself.

My favorite story was the one where I shit myself. Online humility at it's greatest. My second favorite is everything else that I've posted.

This place was a great distraction to the hellish first year of moving to NYC. It was a giant pain in the ass, and since no one gives a rats ass about sports out side of , this was the one place I could run to to spread some steaming hot opinions, usually whilst taking a steaming hot shit. Now, its fodder for the morning commute (except when Ape posts at 530 like an asshole) and still dropping steaming hot takes while taking steaming hot shits.

This place deserves to stay up just to preserve my sage like presence here.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

EARLY BIRD GET THE WORM MOTHERFUCKER!

GMoney said...

APPROVED!

Getting steamy in here!

Mr. Ace said...

I would like to recommend a "META" board so that suggestions can be made for improvements by the Money Shot Maniacs since I have now been demoted to their ranks. POWER TO THE PEOPLE.

Prime99 said...

Thanks a ton, G$! This site was part of my daily routine since forever and I'm happy to have participated. Can't believe its done but I've done ok at navigating the new site this far. It should be a hoot!

In the words of the immortal Chip Kelly- "what's more faggoty than Nickey SabeCakes? Nothing."

Bummer than Boogie murders me in your alternate reality final post.

Anonymous said...

Fuck you, quitter.

In all seriousness - I really am going to miss this place. I know none of you on a personal level, but over the past couple years I talk with you guys more than my immediate family... and it's great. Having a place to get your mind off work and bullshit about your favorite things in the world has been great.

Thanks for all your hard work G$, Ace, and Iceman.

Next time the skins are in Cleveland, you gotta get up here again... good times.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Recruit from Plano Tx was asked who he was committing to. Says it is down to 2 schools - the University of Phoenix and ITT Tech. Hilarious! He actually committed to UCLA

Jeff said...

G$, Thanks for providing daily entertainment to get through the work week.

Clemson cleaned up nicely.

GMoney said...

Looking forward to the QB Billy Bahl era in Oxford. Going to need to stock the tailGREAT with Billy Beer.

Also: Mike Mayock's nephew is coming aboard.

Anonymous said...

Every year we go through this shit... I have no idea how people get so excited about where high school kids decide to play when a large number wont play for 2 years and a large amount of that number wont pan out to be any good. OVERRATED day IMO.

Seal

T. Iceman said...

Looking back, like Ace I'm not sure how I stumbled on this site. But it got me some new buddies, the first ever wedding moneyshot table and fired from a job I hated. So it turned out okay in the end, I suppose.

We had a good run and it's time to move on to bigger, better things. Nothing gold can stay.

Anonymous said...

G$, I haven't, obviously checked your site in about 46 years but I am sad to see you go. Although J-Beanie has long been passed away, the times we shared and follow asshole bloggers will never be forgotten. Your site brought laughs, shits and make-me-feel-better-about-myself moments. I'm glad the stars aligned for us to become "friends" and I wish you all the best your new life as a classical ballet choreographer. The blogging world lost a mediocre to below average person and we will all think about you when we take a long shit, wishing we had something to read to pass the time. God Speed, G$.

-J (from J-Beanie)

GMoney said...

BUT YOU DO! Sign up for the board, dammit! 24/7 comment section!

But yeah, I'm glad that I got to know you guys a bit, too. I'll always let Seal know if or when I'm up your way.

Anonymous said...

So, funny thing. I forgot my blogger name. The last comment was from Beanie of J-Beanie, not J. Wow, talk about retarded. I didn't even remember who I was. That's how long it's been since I've done anything.

Anyway, sorry for the confusing and Go G$!

Anonymous said...

Meyer lands Weber...suck a dick Ape. A sweep on NSD for OSU. What a day...fucking love it.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

G$...I think you are going to have to rethink the message board format. If something happens...like Peyton rapes a kid...it should have it's own thread...not lumped into NFL talk.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I knew the above comment from "
-J (from J-Beanie)" was actually Beanie since it's incoherent and rife with grammatical errors.

I usually check in a couple times a day and would like to thank G$ and the commentariat for all the LOLs provided over the years.

DA REAL J from J-Beanie

GMoney said...

Beanie! Whoa, it has been a coon's age! And J!

If Peyton rapes a kid, I will reconsider my stance. Until then, no.

The only Weber that matters is Pete Weber. FACT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I AM!

Mr. Ace said...

Ouch. This NSD is not going Michigan's way.

T. Iceman said...

Harbaugh has 4 ESPN 300 signings. That's pretty good for only 2 months of work.

Anonymous said...

Good run g$. I've enjoyed the daily post and wish I was able to comment more than I do. Hopefully the new format will allow me to post a little more. I will miss the daily access to you dementia.

I thought fan based getting excited about signing days were the ones who would never win on the field so they had to find something to brag about. This just proves that osu has a sad fan base that they still get a boner over 18 year olds even though they won the national championship.

Lacey

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ Iceman. The Michigan class is not good...and Harbaugh has whiffed on many of the big ones.

Top 10 ranked players for B1G signings breakdow via the 247 Composite....

OSU - 8
MSU - 1
Michigan - 1

The gap just got wider.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Meh. Pretty sure 3 of those guys were there before Harbaugh. Not a dig on Harbaugh. He's had a full staff for 4 weeks. He went after some big time recruits but couldn't make up all that ground.

T. Iceman said...

What I'm saying, Ace, is that for the enormous disadvantage Michigan was at for recruiting this year, it hasn't been a complete bust. Granted they probably won't score the big name like Marshall that everyone wanted, but Harbaugh has been good for the small amount of time he had.

Anonymous said...

Harbaugh has not been good. As Ape said...that means he got 1 good player. He's paid the big bucks to do better than that. Do you think given the same time constraints Urban would have only landed one? No.

Lacey...the top three schools for average final class ranking over the last four years were FSU, Bama and OSU. Those three teams were three of the four in the playoff this year. Recruiting matters....and that's why it's celebrated.

--Drew

MUfan said...

G$ - thanks for the memories. I've been pretty much reading this blog for the last 4 years while eating lunch at my desk at work. Didn't start commenting until the last 6 months/year. I'll definitely miss this, but have signed up at Elite Takes.

Mr. Ace said...

As Drew said, recruiting totally matters. It's not the be all-end all, as we know with M under Hoke, but its obvs important. It's no coincidence that the Top 10 in recruiting and Top 10 in standings have the same names.

I'm not as harsh on HARBAUGH because he brought in a staff of mostly NFL guys that had 4 weeks to make up what other programs had already invested at least 2 years into. I wish things would have went differently, but he didn't get to step into a situation like Urbz. This is a small class. HARBAUGH was brought in to develop the talent currently on the roster, not save this recruiting class.

But Michigan will kill it in recruiting in 2016. Top 5 GuaranSHEED.

Grumpy said...

It took me until 1:00 to stop crying. This was my first stop every morning, even before peeing.

It's been a great ride and a lot of fun. On to bigger and better things.

GMoney said...

For WE ON, it's more important that they have the right warden as opposed to better inmates at the moment. Even the most optomistic fan had to admit that this class was going to be a punt. LOLing should probably be reserved for this time next year (at ELITE Takes!) if the same outcome happens.

RedHawks have the best recruiting class in the country according to my rankings.

Grumpy said...

Billy FootBAHL!

Prime99 said...

Going out on top, boys! Arguing about recruiting FTW!

GMoney said...

It was either this or pants cleanliness!

Anonymous said...

Just like Barry Sanders and Seinfeld, you go out on top. I do find it ironic that you retire just months after Derek Jeter, but mad Re2pect for what you've done over the years.

Danario Alexander > Derec Alexander


-GSaul

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker first time commentor.

Lacey introduced me to this site about a year ago and my work/poop life has been much better since then. A lot more useful knowledge than cnn, msn, and yahoo. If you do create a Drew vs. seal thread or ND bashing thread let me know.

Anonymous said...

I better get one in before the 4PM SHUT DOWN.

Thanks for helping out all those shits over the years. I was letting a table full of DUTS and ACES know last night that I developed a dependency - even if sitting on the toilet with an explosive one, I was not able to let loose on it until this drivel was smack dab in front of my face.

I'll leave you with an ICEMAN for the day - similar to severing, c'mon G$ how hard can this really be to pump out everyday - keep it alive I SAY.

- J Saul


MUfan said...

One last comment - my wool dress pants can last for weeks. I iron them in between wearings, but I'll go weeks before I take them to dry cleaners.

My shirts I wash and iron myself between every wearing. My opinion, but it's gross to wear without them being clean. And I even wear an undershirt to not get pit stains.

GMoney said...

Dammit...if you want to continue the magic and pageantry, you absolutely can.

elitetakes.proboards.com

I have not yet figured out the iphone/android app but Prime has and he would love to walk America through it!

Anonymous said...

This is my last comment

Ide

Nibbles said...

It's been real Money Shot.

Prime99 said...

Poop

Cakes said...

Thanks for filling up two and half years of my life with pointless drivel. This site was and always will be the best//worst. I've already bookmarked the new message board. I'll try to visit more often than the last few months which is sometimes and not never. My last post to this site will end with this. WOW!

GMoney said...

Alright, folks, that's it. Thanks once again for everything. We'll see you all over at ELITE Takes.