Wednesday, February 04, 2015
I started The Musings of GMoney (nice name, douche) in July of 2006 while I was living in a one bedroom apartment on the east side of Cleveland. The idea was sprung on me by a current college football DL coach who thought that I could carve out a decent niche on the worldwide web with my unique opinions, brash style, and gorgeous looks. Ironically, the plans for this site were hatched at the wedding reception of Ace's basketball coach cousin. Dickhead was actually there when this site was mentally born and he didn't even know it. Hell, we probably didn't even know each other at that point. Either way, solo living isn't easy and I started randomly writing to get through the boredom and loneliness (very little of it was any good though).
Once I moved to Columbus, I started doing this daily. I'm not sure if anyone remembers this, but I used to write posts as soon as I came into work every morning. How mad would you jerks be if I was posting at 9 am every day still? LOL SO MAD BRO. We eventually started to build a following whether it be through lifelong friends from Nap, through message boards/links, or picking up losers off the scrap heap (Drew). We added Mr. Ace along the way to lessen my burden and then he quit. After a high stakes contest to replace him, we gained an Iceman. Iceman then eventually died out of stupidity, came back as someone else, killed that guy off, and then became a born-again Iceman. Never forget that this was all necessary because he is an idiot. Then Mr. Ace came crawling back again and we had a threesome that was loved and hated and lusted after by all. We developed our own played out words and phrases. We LOLZed. We cried. We got erect. We got married. We had kids. We had incredible discussions about pornography. It was everything that I ever wanted.
Over the years, and especially recently, people have asked what the goal was for The Money Shot. Did I have bigger aspirations for the site? To answer that question as plainly as possible. No. This is exactly what I wanted it to be. I didn't secretly want to work at The Dispatch or whatever. I can only imagine submitting this site as a writing sample and the sports editor saying, "Have you seen how this guy uses the word 'faggot'? Incredible! Let's put him on the Crew beat post haste!" I wanted a relatively small and tight-knit group that I could see myself arguing at a bar with over sports and life or whatever only doing it every day on the internet. I had no intention of making it big as a blogger (LOL). The only thing that I wanted from this was a distraction from work and/or life. I love talking about sports and I REALLY love being right. That's all that I've ever needed. Finding a group of assholes with the same zest for internet life was all that I required.
No one has ever asked, but I do have two big regrets here. It's nothing major but there were two stories/concepts that I wanted to address but never got around to it.
*Big Boy Work Stories - In high school, I was a server for six months or so at Big Boy. Burke was a cook and a handful of our bros also worked there. It was seriously the worst restaurant ever. We picked on the mentally challenged dishwasher (she threw a butter knife at me once!), fucked with nearly everyone that tried to order via the drive-thru (I will never forget one guy screaming at the top of his lungs, "I WANT A GODDAMN PEPSI WITH NO ICE"!), and who could forget the fake shit. I will tell that tale really quick. Juan Negro and myself were the only servers on the floor one night and it was about an hour before close. The only people in there were the regulars that just drank coffee and smoked a lot. We see a car pull in and neither of us want to deal with them. Black decides to put a lump of the plastic fake dog shit on the floor mat so it is the first thing that you see when you walk in. This foursome opens the door, I smile at them, they look down, and then immediately retreat back to their car. LOL! Black and I went back to working on our Paul Bearer impressions probably. There are so many good stories from that dump and I wish I had dedicated more time to telling them.
*The grandest finale - For YEARS, I had my exit planned. It just didn't work out due to laziness. It was going to be an incredibly high concept week-long post in the style of Vh1's Behind The Music. Prime, Ape, Iceman, and myself would have formed a rock band and everyone who has contributed here in the past would have played some role in our story. One day would be the rise then the break-through then the peak of popularity then the fall and to end with the redemption story. It was going to be great. I was mentally writing this thing for three years. But it would have taken forever so I just never started. SPOILER ALERT: Ape lost an arm in a fight with his savage dogs, Prime was murdered by Boogie Cousins, Iceman became addicted to ribs and was living inside a smokehouse, and I left the band to do acoustic sets under the backdrop of old Peter King columns called "Ten Songs I Think I Sung". I was the one with the gigantic ego OBVZ. And it would have ended with all of us burying the hatchet and going on one final Prime-less tour with each of carrying 50 pounds of fat on our frames just like every band.
So what happens now? Where do we go from here? I believe that I promised some sort of message board option? To quote the great Walter White, "you're goddamn right". Starting RIGHT NOW, the next chapter has begun. When one door closes, another one opens. That door has a big sign on it that reads ELITE TAKES. Yes, ELITE Takes dot com is now your source for 24 hour smack talk and comment accountability. It is intentionally a bare bones site. No site banner that screams "not appropriate for work". No spam. 13 threads and nothing but the best. I have asked so little from all of you over the years (outside of Iceman and Mr. Ace). I do ask that you register for the board and give it a chance. What are you going to do? Work? Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!
That is it for us here at The Money Shot. The comment section will be open until about 4 pm today until I shut down comments for good. That will be sad. The site will remain forever though because I am still very proud of what we have done and also because people need to be held accountable. We've done some great work here, people, and you should all be pleased with what you've added. I wanted to close with a quote from one of America's finest poets:
Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
LOL! Iceman thinks that he's hot. Never forget. Enough of that though. One more time, thank you all for your support over the years. We could not have done it without you. Nine years is a long time. Hell, this site can officially try out for Little League. But it's time to send it out to stud and move on. Adios, Money Shot, your services were always beloved by all yet are no longer needed. We will love and miss you forever. Goodbye.