Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Ask Me Anything: The GayMA You've All Been Waiting For


Welp. It's Apocalypse Eve here at The Money Shot. G$ bumped Mrs. Ward...and Lacey I guess, out of the hot seat in a move that will never be forgiven. I bet Mrs. Ward would have had some boiling hot takes. But I felt the right thing to do was grant the slave master of this site his wish; An AMA done by your favorite blogger's favorite blogger. Enjoy.

 Ace: I prefer the ol Facebook chat for the AMA's. I'm gonna send u the ones that got submitted so far first. Then send u the real gay ones after I'm drunk at beerfest. I would like you to ask G$ how many times on average he jerks off each week?
G$: What I do in the privacy of my own office bathroom stall is my business. More than zero...way less than hourly

 Ace: How emasculated are you on a daily basis with a daughter, wife, and a beagle that gets picked on by other neighborhood toughs?
G$: Jesus Christ...this is obvz from Ide because only a childless shit-dick would think that baby gender actually matters. I'm not of 17th century British nobility so having an heir matters little. So to answer the stupid ass question, I feel fully masculine.

 Ace: You eat steak medium well like a spade. Iceman prefers fanta. So, who is the bigger asshole when they walk into a Denny's; you or Iceman? (I was fucking dying when I first saw this question, well done)
G$: Iceman lives in Florida so we might have to go to Shoney's. I've eaten at Denny's once in the last 20+ years and it was 6 hours after visiting Prime. I ordered a burger that was 90% grease and I didn't eat it. But I also did not send it back because I was afraid what would come out next. Ice treats servers like filth so definitely he would be the bigger ass while I constantly apologize.

 Ace: AMA for G$: Be real. How many times have you used that flesh light?
G$: You have to admit that it was a baller move to win the DFL and make Dut buy me a sex toy trophy. I don't have the exact number in my head but it isn't more than five times. It is more for show these days. But yeah, you shouldn't ever ask to touch it.

 Ace: If you could bro out w/ any athlete, who would it be and why?
G$: Gronk. Easy. You are guaranteed getting laid by multiple skanks and will get shithouse drunk. I kept it in my race because I have no clue how I would handle going clubbing with black guys.

Ace: What songs would be included in a "faves of G$" playlist?
G$: I'm starting to get into Band of Horses as The Funeral is such an ELITE song. My iTunes account is packed with Big Tymers, Eminem, Pearl Jam, Tony Bataska songs for some reason but they do get better with each listen, and I'm down with Vance Joy. For my money, and I know that Iceman will agree, Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog is the greatest song of all time.

Ace: Favorite and least favorite commenter?
G$: Favorite is Prime simply because it was this site that reconnected us after 20 years. It's cool when the Internet works in a positive way. Least favorite are those that quit. May their shit names never be spoken again.
Ace: That's a fucking copout response. Who is ur least favorite commenter
G$: Fine. Least is Cakes who just disappeared without even giving a sad excuse.

Ace: What was the ultimate deciding factor in shutting it down?
G$: You have no idea how much the garbage fucking trash NFL season hurt my soul. This was BAD. When you add in ohio Buckeyes winning as well, that did not help. Basically, I lost my passion for the craft (not Aaron Craft though because he is a faggot)

G$: By the way, original Coors is a rock solid cheap beer.
Ace: The banquet beer is white trash toilet water.

Ace: What's the best beer you've ever had?
G$: I am no snob on this but I've always loved a big ass stein of Spaten.

Ace: Are you sending me coordinates to a cock party?
G$: I don't think I am.
Ace: This was sent from you:

 G$: I was unaware of this...I like our relationship where it is.

Ace: What's better, life without kids or with it better?
G$: That's a good question. You're definitely more busy with one in tow. Sometimes I miss my lazy ass weekends and nights out with the bros but I love having a kid. I don't expect the childless to understand this sentiment.

Ace: 2nd question from Drew: If you had to have sexual relations with one commenter or else your beautiful spawn would be shipped to Syria, who would it be?
G$: I want to go with a guy who has been there before and would be discreet. So spread dem cheeks, Dut!

Ace: Marry, Fuck, Kill: RG3, Big Ben, Travis Prentice
G$: Kill Ben that's easy. Marry Prentice. And I've been saying it a lot this year anyway but fuck RG3.

Ace: Your top 5 porn stars ever.
G$: 1. Jenna Jameson and the rest in no particular order are Gianna Michaels, Brooklyn Chase, Briana Banks, and pre-BBW Carmella Bing edges out Amy Reid and Tera Patrick
Ace: *Googles Brooklyn Chase* She's well equipped.

Ace: If you could pick one job for the rest of your life, what would it be? And it has to be a job...not lotto stud.
G$: Lotto stud seems pretty sweet but I've always liked the looks of Ron Swanson's gig on Parks & Rec.  I think that he is the Parks Director.  You hire good people and do nothing yourself.  Plus, working for a city's Parks Department is enjoyable.  I know from experience, dude. Also: rock star would be badass

Ace: Pick 1: Cavs title, Redskins title or Miami winning BCS Bowl. The one you pick happens, but the others are guaranteed not to happen for another 25 years.
G$: You mean that if I don't pick the Redhawks to win a BCS Bowl then they won't for 25 years?  How horrible!  I want Dan Snyder to die ringless so I'm picking the Cavs just so I can hold it over all those losers up there that they are winners because of me
Ace: If it were Redhawks win a Natty you would pick that....right?
G$: Yes I would pick a national title obvz

Ace: Another user submitted question: Where is Cakes?
G$: That's what I want to know. I ain't gonna beg but we deserve an explanation

Ace: Hall Pass: You can bang one chick with She$'s blessing and no guilt. Who is it?
G$: Dolph Lundgren but if he's too busy with Iceman, put me down for Anne Hathaway.
Ace: That's the worst choice ever.

Ace: Why did you start the blog?
G$: TUNE IN TOMORROW BECAUSE G$ BIG TIMED(NOT BIG TYMED) ME AND WILL ANSWER THAT TOMORROW.
Ace: Don't make me go all whiny Bobby Costas on you.
G$: Well, I need something for the finale, god dammit


Ace: How did you come up with The Money Shot as the name? What was the second choice for blog name?
G$: The name was part of a poll I conducted in the early days.  TMS won while The Mustache Ride finished second.  To be honest, I was pulling for the latter.  Maybe 10 people voted so it was way more successful than a non-presidential general election.

Ace: What's your favorite Stube story?
G$: Stube memory - Every once in a while back in the not-married days, I would work the door.  Burke used to bartend on Sundays so if it was a three day weekend, I would check IDs for him.  Checking IDs is pretty boring so I used to fuck with people and accuse them of having fakes to see what they would do.  One douche did not care for this move (it was a pretty obvious "I'm just fucking with you vibe") and told me to go fuck myself.  So I frisbee flung his ID out into the middle of the parking lot and told him to never come back.  It felt great.
Ace: That's fantastic.
G$: By the way, the Stube Door gig came with 40 bucks at the end of the night and all the beer/shots that I could drink.  It was a GREAT job but probably not what Kempton wanted his door guy to do.  Fuck him and the Seahawks.


Ace: What was the apex of The Money Shot? Like was there a time period where page views were really up and you thought you or TMS could go big time?
G$: Apex...I used to put together a lot of list posts before Buzzfeed killed lists forever that would get linked at a lot of the big boy sites.  But the problem with the internet is that now days everything that you think of, someone has already done better.  Five years ago, that wasn't necessarily the case.  I think that my Sweatiest Coaches in College Hoops is the all-time traffic leader with something like 40K hits in one day...The part about where I envisioned the site to go is going to be a part of Wednesday.


Ace: What 3 posts would you say were your finest work? Or are you covering that tomorrow too.
G$: My God, you are asking me to pick three favorites out of 9+ years?  This truly is a hard-hitting GayMA!  The hardest one that I ever wrote was the day after my dog got hit by a car.  That one was tough.  Back when commenters getting married was fast and furious, I always enjoyed the pre-wedding day advice posts.  And I think that my favorite post here was when I ran Denard through Gruden's FFCA segment.  Also: The BRAHs 4 Life.

Ace: A late commenter question: Ask him what he plans to do to fill the void of ego inflation from internet trolls?
G$: That's a thing that I am concerned about.  I am the Slumlord of Baltic Avenue here.  Once the slum closes tomorrow, then what?  I pretty much only have one goal left anyway and that is to get TBone fired from The Fan.

Ace: How about what was your favorite post of mine and Ice? Or at least the one that sticks out above the rest of Icemans cock jokes?
G$: Will you ever live down May The Forcier Be With You?  I think not.  It was not your best effort but no one will ever forget it.  I always enjoyed Iceman and I's mock drafts and, without him going to the Friday's on Airport Hwy every night, we would have never met the Harbaugh Boys as who they really are.
Ace: I need to go back and read that post. Tater really fucked me there. Also, I actually own a shirt that says "May the Forcier be With You".

Ace: Top 3 Big Tymers songs?
G$: 1. #1 Stunna 2. Rocky 3. Big Ballin...not a big fan of Still Fly for some reason.

Ace: Why does everybody hate Dut?
G$: He's a weasel that openly brags about groomed stubble

Ace: As I'm in the middle of cooking a feast right now, What is the best meal you could make?
G$: I work well with pork and I'm good with seasoning.  Put me down for a grilled Cajun chop with bacon and cheese rotini as a side.  I make that shit from scratch.  Roux brah!
Ace: Impressive.

Ace: What do you really think happened to Cakes? My theory is he went into mourning after Ice left for Florida and couldn't take having Internet TAEKS with him and not being able to touch his face.
G$: Probably something simple like he's too dumb and felt inadequate around such brilliant takesmiths

Ace: Are you afraid of Mrs Ward? I am.
G$: Nah she married a turd sandwich.

Ace: Why aren't you protecting your dog?
G$: I wish I knew. Someone remind me in the comments to bring closure to that story. I come off like a stud.
Ace: I have my doubts.

Ace: Any sage advice for me as I am 5 months away from fatherhood?
G$: Honestly, it's easier than you think. I am NOT saying that it's easy but I built it up in head as worse than a lifetime hourly convo with Jeff but it's not. Keep a level head. Shit is going to happen. Also, do not seek to watch your kid come out. You don't want that.
Ace: I decided long ago that I would not move below the waist when it was time. No man needs to see that.

Ace: Would you ever move back to Naptown?
G$: I highly doubt it. I've long grown out of my fondness of small town America. And I don't need the in laws showing up unannounced.

Ace: Who do you predict will show up for Ribfest?
G$: The usuals will be there. Dut won't. I'm calling two Sauls and Lacey to bring one of not both of his bro in laws

Ace: Do you ever get tired of being called a ginger/lacking a soul?
G$: Someone get this n-word an urban dictionary.  One of the many kids he left behind might have one.
Ace: I'll take that as a yes.

Ace: What's your favorite app on your phone, other than PROBOARDS.
G$: My least favorite is espn. Twitter is the best. I was so wrong about it.

Ace: What is the first thing you do when you get home from work?
G$: I work out.  Get it over with before my ladies get home and I need to focus on being a mediocre husband and father

Ace: What sports team do you hate the most, other than the Redskins?
G$: Dallas Cowboys

Ace: How many times can you wear dress pants before washing them? Not being able to wear sweatpants to work is really throwing me off.
G$: Twice on the pants. Jeans can go weeks
Ace: That's fucking absurd. I'm wearing dress pants at least 6 times before they get washed, or drycleaned, right IDE?

Ace: How many people have touched your b-hole?
G$: *Crickets*

Ace: I think we've hit on just about everything. Anything else you would like to add?
G$: Nah. I'm good.
Ace: It was my pleasure allowing you to pleasure me in this interview
G$: Word.

And there you have it folks. The last ever AMA...or is it?

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great AMA and TOTES not the last one ever!

Spread that butt for G$, Dut!

Really weird that your favorite pornstars are all huge titty/huge ass girls, but you want to fuck Anne Hathaway the most. Doesn't make sense.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Anne Hathaway...still thrown off by that one. There's probably some chick in your office more bangable than Anne Hathaway.

And don't be ashamed of your partial Gingervitis. It's worked out well for Blake Griffin.

Anonymous said...

G$ can now spend more time with the Urban Meyer fan club!

Nibbles said...

Anne Hathaway's a good pick. Nailing down someone that hasn't been around the block is a win.

We might have a statement forthcoming from Ms. Nibbles on her unconditional hate for Mr. Ide.

I've let her know her time is short with the blog and if she wants to post, now's the time.

Mr. Ace said...

Now Nibbles is an expert on Anne Hathaway's sexual history. Great. Ms. Nibbles should've been commenting here a long time ago.

GMoney said...

I respect them all, Drool, but the peen wants what it wants. I've always considered myself an ass man anyway.

I've always enjoyed Anne's work. Like I said above, he wants what he wants. Seems like a classy broad, too.

Ape, you can't wear khaki pants or whatever six times between washes. That's absurd. Those things are going to be so wrinkled after day two that they're going to think you're a homeless homo.

Needed more questions about jerking off IMO.

Grumpy said...

Frequency of jerking off lessens with age; get all you can now.

That was a great AMA.

Why is my name being taken in vain on Twitter on a Monday night?

GMoney said...

We're all excited to hear about your world-reknowned weight loss tips!

Anonymous said...

I dry clean my suits/work clothes very rarely. Maybe 3-4 times a year with most and 6 times a year with my more commonly worn items. My rotation is large enough to allow that, but I typically wear my pants about 6-10 times before dry cleaning. But they get A LOT less use than my jeans. Wearing them to the office is not tough on pants, and I don't perspire in them.

Shirts get 2 uses TOPS.

Ide

Prime99 said...

That was ELITE. No bones about it!

G$- did you omit Danzig from your mix on purpose or was that an oversight board of epic proportions?

Are we really going to argue about washing dress pants and Apocalypse Eve? That's why this site is the best!

G$- you should've gone to Mel's in SF over Denny's.

GMoney said...

I swear that at 10 pm local time in Pacifica, CA on a Sunday night, goddamn Denny's was the only place open. R Bar of Pacific Ocean cities I say!

Drew, if it makes you feel better, I enjoy the work of your girl Kennedy Leigh and Riley Reid. Riley is an underrated slutty name. I respect all that come off (pun intended) as they are enjoying their work.

Mr. Ace said...

I'm on Team Ide with the dress pants. And I rarely wear khakis, usually wear slacks. I wear them to work, take them off and hang them up immediately when I get home. I don't think I ever need to wash them unless a dog slobbers me while walking in the door...which is a daily hazard obvs.

Jeff said...

Team dress pants can go unwashed for atleast a week. Like ace said, as long as their hung up and not thrown on the floor they're fine. Plus they always fit better after you've worn them 2 or 3 times than right after you was them.

Anonymous said...

Tell us the dog protector story

GMoney said...

Related: I wear the same t-shirt every day of the work week once I get back from the gym. I mean, unless I get spit up on, there is no reason to get out a new tee if I just wear it while watching TV.

Let me take a poopson and then I will tell my final dog story here...the conclusion of Biteghazi.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to submit my questions...

Best Seal/Drooler moment? Since the fued is coming to an end, who ultimately won?

Also, weird that Drooler and I have been on the same side of a lot of recent arguments and getting along... it's been fun Drool.

Seeing as there are large fan bases at this site in which you are not a part of...Would you rather the Indians or Tigers win a World Series? Browns or Lions win a Super Bowl? Neither are not acceptable answers - pick one for each sport.

More to come...

Seal



GMoney said...

OK, I don't really remember where I left off on this story. At the time of the attack, She$ and I decided that she would handle the other people reimbursing us while I would go to the next neighborhood council meeting and cause a scene about how this shit needs to stop and people need to realize how wide open they leave themselves to lawsuits when they don't pay attention to their pets.

At some point, the wife wanted to switch roles so I became the loan shark while she crafted her presentation. I wouldn't have done this but She$ allowed "Wendy" (we'll call her that because that is her name) to wait until after the holidays. Well, the holidays are up, bruh, and daddy wants his coin. Two weeks ago--6 weeks after the incident--I walked over to their house and left another copy of the vet invoice in their mailbox along with our address, phone numbers, and a note stating that we need to settle this. Nothing.

Last Thursday, before heading down to a Fan Fair shift, I went back over to the house and no one was home so I left another note in their front door saying that I would be back on Friday after 6 pm. Basically, "I ain't going away so stop ignoring me".

Friday evening, I drive by and there is an envelope in their door with the first of five/six scheduled payments and an apology. They gave dates when I could stop by and pick up the remaining checks. I approve of this. I didn't have to start breaking things and they want to settle this without actually talking to me. That's good.

The wife had her meeting thing last Monday, had an outline of talking points, and had the baby with her. She immediately started bawling. I wish I was there, I would have LOL'ed so hard. But she made her case on how stupid some of our neighbors are for trusting their dog off leashes. Some old lady said "I let my German Shepard run free in my front yard...should I not be doing that"? Everyone probably called her a dumb cunt. But the wife made her point and they are going to make a big deal about leash laws and pet safety this Spring which is all we really want.

Had I been the presenter to the board, it would have been much more angry and threatening.

So we're getting every cent back and hopefully will stop getting attacked. I enjoy this very much.

GMoney said...

Indians and Lions.

Why is the feud ending? It's just moving. Seal won though.

T. Iceman said...

Not the worst thing I'll read today.

Just because this site is dying doesn't mean our Best in the Internet Biz Mock Drafting needs to. I can't believe after all these years we're still the only site that mock drafts. Guess that's what makes us great.

Are there visible dirty spots or does it stink? Then wash it. If not...use your best judgement. That's what I operated off of before I got married. Now my shit gets washed weekly because Wheelz does all the laundry.

GMoney said...

Motherfucker, I knew I forgot someone. Ava Addams is in that top five easily...ELITE MILF performer and solid Twitter follow.

Mr. Ace said...

Ava Addams is like a fine wine...while Lisa Ann is getting to the point where it's time to hang it up.

Solid dog protector story. I do have a well-behaved pitbull available if you want some real protection...as I'm sure your neighborhood council gave zero fucks right after that meeting was over.

I was pretty disappointed with the lack of submitted questions. You guys are better than that. Actually, nope. No you're not.

T. Iceman said...

Were we supposed to submit more than one question? You may have touched on this but l make it a point to gloss over your posts.

GMoney said...

I'm about halfway done with the finale post. Getting emotional up in this nugg.

GMoney said...

Oh he touched you, alright. Right in the prostate, bruh!

Anonymous said...

What is your take on the PC renaming of your alma mater's athletic teams?

Prime99 said...

Great call on that Tony Bataska guy for music. He went next level on his second record after contracting Bear-AIDS.

GMoney said...

I got over it. The renaming was 20 years ago. Although I'm still pissed that EMU went from Hurons to Eagles. How is "Hurons" offensive?

NATIONAL SIGNING DAY TOMORROW, BRAH! CHRISTMAS MORNING FOR ASSHOLES!

GMoney said...

Final post is complete. Should be an emotional day tomorrow. Shook's Son is giving out free hugs to those that need them.