Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Perfect Storm Is Upon Us

WTF???
If you missed yesterday's big news, Iceman has officially retired from the blogging world and is riding off into the sunset with the title of World's Least ELITE College Football Reporter.  He gave me a whopping 18 hour notice about this by the way.  I hold nothing against him though because he did what we asked of him and delivered and received shit for a long time.  We wish him well.  Knowing that he lives in Florida, he's going to need all the help that he can get.

So what happens now?  Who is working Tuesdays?  Am I hiring?  Making Ape work double shifts?  Well, it's complicated.

I have decided to shut down The Money Shot.  Whoa.  That is an emotional sentence for me to type.  The final post here will be posted one week from today on 2/4.  You probably want to know why and that is a perfectly cromulent question to ask.  As I mentioned in the title, it was sort of a perfect storm of circumstances leading to this decision.

*Much like Iceman, internally I said that I would only keep doing this if it wasn't a drag.  For awhile now, it has been a drag.  I HATE Sundays knowing that I have to write something for Monday morning.
*You don't know this but on Monday, we reached ONE MILLION page views.  Now, that isn't any sort of accomplishment considering that we've been open for nine years but that number was also a landmark that, once reached, would lead toward me looking at the finish line.
*Life is different for me now.  I have more important priorities as do most of us.  It's not that the writing itself is time consuming, but the preparation for posts is exhausting.  It feels like half of my day revolves on what I can write about and how the post needs to flow and it takes its toll.
*While Iceman vacating his day wasn't the deciding factor, I said that I would never go back to writing four days a week.  I also have a strange feeling that Mr. Ace wasn't going to be far behind in leaving.
*I'm empty on life stories.
*After receiving his notice, I just sat in my office and thought to myself "it's not that I can't keep doing this, it's that I don't want to do this anymore".  And once you start thinking like that, it's time to walk away.
*It feels like the right time.

I told She$ about this decision while I was watching Brock Lesnar be all sorts of awesome on Raw (like usual) and her reply was "I'd rather you quit watching pro wrestling than quit your blog".  NEVER!  Don't tell me my business, devil woman!  I thought that she would be more pumped about this.  She can go to Hell.

Anyway, I've decided on one more week before we close the doors.  I'm not going to do an elaborate retirement tour or anything but I feel like we do need a little more time for closure.  HOWEVAH, don't assume that I am leaving you high and dry and sticking you with all work, all the time.  I do have an exit strategy that I think can help everyone who enjoys the daily banter here and wants it to continue.  I am currently looking into free message boards throughout the interwebs that can keep the ELITE trash talk and #IdeLies going while allowing everyone to provide content (not just the three of us).  Some positives for this are:

-24/7 commenting...anything typed after 4 here probably doesn't get read but that isn't an issue on a board--you no longer have to wait until Tuesday morning to talk about Ohio Buckeyes!
-NO FIREWALL ISSUES, DUT...I plan on keeping it simple so your employer should not have a problem
-Better security...a new site means no footprints left behind that Google could pick up on (AKA your name)
-AN IPHONE APP...the current leader in the clubhouse for our board has an app that you can download for easier commenting while taking a shit!

The only negative though is that isn't the same as we have had for almost a decade now.  I'm not the biggest fan of change so this will take some getting used to but I think it is the best way to stick together.  Twitter (@GMoneyELITE) was an option but it's hard to develop molten hot takes in 140 characters and waking up to find that you have 40 mentions isn't a lot of fun.  I compare our situation to graduating high school.  Sure, we could all go our separate ways and move on but I would like you all to move in to this bitching new house that I plan on taking over so the party can continue.  I mean, seriously, do you really want to work that hard?  I will have details on this new endeavor next Wednesday as I plan on spending a good chunk of the next week working on the next chapter of our internet lives.

So there you go guys.  It is officially the beginning of the end.  Tomorrow will be Ape's last trip through the jungle, Friday and Monday will be reserved for the Super Bowl (as was planned), Tuesday Mr. Ace has invited me into his den of savage dogs for a GayMA (sorry, Lacey, you were fired from being NEXT MAN UP), and in 7 days we board up the windows and write ABANDONED on this little corner of the internet.  I GUARANSHEED that I start crying when I write that final post because I AM A REAL MAN.

I will say it again next week but thank you all for what you have done here over the years whether you are a frequent commenter, infrequent poster, or just an avid lurker.  This was not an easy decision but I feel like it is the right decision.  As I said above, this is by no means "goodbye", more like a "smell ya later".  I hate you and love you all but definitely more toward the hate so DEAL WITH IT, BRAH!

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is terrible news and I don't like it. BUT, I do appreciate the message board move as I've been asking for that for years and the ability to show off my GIF game makes me happy. If you find a message board that costs a little money for each year, I'm sure we can easily cover that.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Thank You G$ for the excellent writing over the years. I didn't/don't often agree w/ you, but always enjoy getting a glimpse into what your thoughts are regarding sports & other various topics discussed here... Its been a great run & sad to see it coming to an end, but we can all agree that when it becomes a chore, its probably a good time to say good bye.

Looking forward to heckling tegro over the next 3-5 days

Burke

Jeff said...

Booooooo! Damn brah! This place better still CTF from the grave. Undefeated second half started last night! We will OBVZ have to have more than one get together every year now.

Your hard work and hot taeks have been much appreciated over the years.

Mr. Ace said...

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYDAY NOW YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKTARD? HOW CAN YOU BE SUCK A GIANT SELFISH TWATBAG?

But for reals. I get it. I quit blogging before....twice. Sometimes you're just not feeling it, and then even you are putting out good content it still doesn't feel like it because you wasted 3 hours trying to make an analogy about LeBron and a tubesteak. I feel ya, bruh.

Get ready to turn the fuck up tomorrow!

GMoney said...

I think that the board will work well as long as a majority of us commit just half-assedly. Like I said, I will have more deets in a week.

RibFest will continue on.

Cavs beat the Pistons 2 on 5 last night. That was nice. Bet the over on the CBJ/Caps game last night simply due to C-Mac. Going to keep doing that.

Anonymous said...

I understand completely. After I won CotY, there really was nothing left to follow that up with. I get it and completely agree.

Online message boards eh? I used to post on one throughout college with my friends. We used phpbb, and it was tits. Also, scammer free.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Yeah....the board should be great. Is anyone not following this to the board? It's not the end...it's a new beginning.

--Drew

MUDawgfan said...

As long as there is someplace for me to go where I my lightly racist sensibilities will be appreciated, I like the move and appreciate all the hard work G$ has put into this.

Anonymous said...

I figured this day was coming soon. I've been more lurker than commenter here the last few years, but I still stopped by many times a day to enjoy the Iceman beat downs, Drool vs Seal, etc. It's a helluva run. The message board should be fun...as long as Stan and Shook's Son are along for the ride as well.

-Damman

GMoney said...

When I approached my employees about the idea of a board, Iceman was boners up but Ape seemed a little skeptical. Glad to see there is support for, again, a 24 HOUR COMMENT SECTION!!! The one thing that we've always lacked here was drunk comments. Now you can come home from the bar and tell everyone how you really feel about everything. Could be ELITE.

And, like I said, phase two should not get smacked around by any office filter so if you are on that bails, if it because you are a cunt.

Prime99 said...

Crazy news but I definitely get it. Blogging is damn hard work and it is thankless most of the time. This blog is solely responsible for me getting back in touch with my West Elementary ROOTS, and I'll miss it but of course will follow to whatever message board. Thanks for a great corner of the Internet, G$!

The First COY was an honor. Probably means I'm the best.

Drooler's GIFs are going to be really annoying. GUARANSHEED

GMoney said...

And fuck fake JSaul AKA Nibbles for trying to ruin the announcement yesterday. That was not your place and you're better than that. Your punishment will be to get penetrated by both real and fake Facebook Daniel.

Anonymous said...

Prime...they are going to be awesome. I'm 100% sure once people get settled in, they will find it to be better than here. Open 24 hours.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I love Drew's enthusiasm. Granted, he's just pumped to up his asshole game but whatever.

Anonymous said...

Just when I thought for sure I would be the front runner for COTY in 2015, this happens?!

No, I get it, and want to thank you for making my mornings into afternoon's at work much more exciting. This place has been awesome.

Lot's of gay love/sadness and last minute bashing of each other to happen in the comments over the next few days... should be interesting.

I will absolutely be following to a message board, just to make sure I LOLZ at Drooler when the "Cavs don't sniff the finals".

Seal

Anonymous said...

The plus for message boards is I can skip any/all baseball threads, and anything started by Iceman!

Food threads will be epic. You should look into having a data geek archive these posts into the new site. That way we can forever hold people #accountable.

Ide

Nibbles said...

"And fuck fake JSaul AKA Nibbles for trying to ruin the announcement yesterday."

Your employee should know better than to share that kind of sensitive data with a group of people who are currently trying to one up one another with internet trolling.

Grumpy said...

Well, this just sucks, but believe me, I get it.

Years ago I clicked on a link and found a new set of friends who took me in even though I'm old enough to be their father and don't get most of the pop culture references.

Next thing you know I'm driving to Columbus for Trivia Night and famously let my mouth get ahead of my ass and became the Father of RibFest.

I like the idea of a message board; I hope you find a platform. This group needs to stay together.

GMoney said...

I forgot about Trivia Night! What an ELITE event.

Ide, I'm going to leave the site up forever so people will be held accountable for past takes. But there will be time to say goodbye next week.

Off topic but very important: I work on the third floor of a five floor building. There is a guy who comes down from the 4th floor to take a dump every single day. What a faggot. Who is so insecure that they can't shit on their own floor? Mark your fucking territory, pussy.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he doesn't like someone on your floor?

Believe me...my enthusiasm for the message board isn't about me. It's about taking this place to some next level type of shit.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I will defend that guy's ELITE remote shitting strategy. I've been known to leave some breakwaters in my wake, and the stench could go for over ten minutes. This way I can drop hot death and have a bunch of saps on an inferior floor suffer my wrath. It's a lot better than the people constantly dropping matchbooks on your desk. That sucks.

Ide

T. Iceman said...

Ace gossips like a woman. That's how the money shot shutting down was leaked.

Although sad, this was a necessary move. It was starting to feel like the last 2 seasons of Dexter here. Having said that...you're TOTES gonna regret this move when Ace starts using the message board for shit like his vegan pot roast recipe.

Mr. Ace said...

Hey, I hope the message board idea works out great and for the first month I think it will. I just am worried about some drop off after that time period. IMO I'm #AllIn.

GMoney said...

Shit, even if it's just 5-6 of us, it will work.

The shitter is not trolling our floor though. He is clearly self-conscious of his poops. It's different because there are literally a thousand people per story here and the restrooms are away from work stations. He is embarrassed that he poops and thus is an embarrassment as a man.

Prime99 said...

I'm pooping right now. On my floor. Co-workers can DEAL WITH IT.

I'm looking forward to drunk TAEKS. Ape can live message board his diaper party that he throws for himself.

Anonymous said...

^5 Prime, I just dropped a solid one as well. We have the same poop timers. I bet mine was more grisly.

Ide

Grumpy said...

A message board will allow for separate conversations on different topics of interest. I can see categories for food, NBA talk (where Iceman converses with himself), #IdeLies, craft beer, pooping, jerking off, porn etc.

T. Iceman said...

"I can see categories for food, NBA talk (where Iceman converses with himself)"

It'll be the most intelligent conversation that's ever happened here.

Daniel said...

Just to be clear - both Facebook accounts currently in my "honor" are fake.

T. Iceman said...

Sure, Daniel. Whatever you say.

GMoney said...

#DieLies are pretty much the same thing as #IdeLies, right? Named misspelled by design obvz.

Anonymous said...

Can Daniel and I moderate the white power corner on the new website?

Ide

MUfan said...

I'm not going to lie - when I first read all of this, I was like "WTF?" but I totes get it. I'm sure it is a lot of work and with kids in the picture now, your time is at a premium.

And the idea of a bulletin board will be cool. I'm all for #drunkposts.

So this also means that if I want to do something regarding my stalker story, I need to do it asap. Would there be room in any posts next week for me to add a couple paragraphs?

GMoney said...

You can always put it in the comments or it could be a huge selling point for when the board comes to fruition. Up to you.

Nibbles said...

The only thing fake about "Daniel" is the Google account you see above. That's actually Ace. The two facebook profiles you see are 100% true.