Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Hump Day Hump: Football Free Edition!

LOL Jeff Rimer fart cloud
Unless something major happens during the course of the day, let's stick with a football free day here.  Starting this evening, I begin my 5 day run as a goodwill ambassador for the city of Columbus at the NHL All Star Fan Fair.  Could you possibly think of a better representative?  I think not.  I have no idea what I'll actually be doing but should find out more tonight at our little orientation meeting.  I'm hellbent on getting a selfie with the Stanley Cup and pretty sure that I will try to steal something (not a kiss from Sidney Crosby, dicks), too.  It should be a good time.  And if not, well, at least the work shifts are only 4-5 hours at a time.  I thought that I heard somewhere that Dan Gilbert wanted to bring the All-Star Game back to The Q so maybe I can let some of you northern jerks know if doing something like this for them is worth your time.  I'll probably have stories on Monday to go along with my Pro Bowl live-blog.

Football has dominated the talk around here for months now but since that is ending, we should check in on the other sports to see what it going on.

*College Basketball! - I'm really struggling to get into it this year.  My alma mater is terrible and the game seems to be lacking ELITE white males and thus my interest is at an all-time low.  When boring ass Virginia is the #2 team, that isn't helping.  Plus, Ohio and WE ON don't appear to be have a big run in them.  Dullsville, bruh.

*Hockey! - I pretty much only follow the Jackets but I do have to say that the goddamn Islanders are really fucking impressive.  Them and Nashville are the two teams that just obliterated the CBJ from start to finish and that doesn't happen often.  As for the CBJ, the early season injuries killed them and they won't be able to dig out of the hole this year.  The rest of the East got way better while we spent most of the first half averaging 7 guys on the shelf PER GAME.  I still love these guys because they play their asses off and won't quit and additional gritty sports cliches, but they need to play .700 hockey the rest of the way and I don't see that being possible.  Carry It nonetheless!

*Golf! - Outside of Tiger Woods' hilarious meth teeth, the big story from the weekend was the Hawaiian abduction of Robert Allenby from a wine bar.  Cowherd was questioning the truth behind this odd tale yesterday and I'm starting to poke holes in this as well.  I'm calling this guy out as a liar.  Pretty sure that Allenby is a serial rapist of homeless people and finally met one that fought back IMO.  Also: LOL Tiger's missing tooth.

*Baseball! - We briefly touched on the Max Scherzer signing on Monday but the parameters of this deal are fascinating.  Baseball people are saying that paying him 15 million a year for 14 years is smart but that seems pretty dumb to me.  Then again, I'm no nerd.  I would try to front-load as much of that as possible just to get it out of the way.  I hope that the Reds fans are paying attention to this because you should start preparing for no more Cueto.  He isn't going to make Max money, but it is definitely going to be more than what you offer.  And now that teams are doing this deferred money plan, the rich are only going to get richer.

*NBA! - Last but not least, let's talk about my rejuvenated Cavs who look like an entirely different team now.  Mozgov and JR Smith have been fantastic additions (TIMOFEY has been well worth the low first round picks if he keeps playing like this).  LeBron looks focused and is actually trying.  Kyrie and Love are slowly playing a little bit better defense.  Blatt is setting on player rotations.  Shumpert should be back any day now to bolster the perimeter defense.  Things are trending up for sure.  I know that Lacey will chide me for cocking off about a game in January, but they beat the piss out of the Bulls the other night.  It was never close.  I've always said that I'm OK with losses as long as the effort is there.  When the Cavs play with the kind of effort that they showed against the Bulls and Clippers, no one in the East can beat them in a series.  No one.  Sorry, Dawg, but your Hawks are peaking too early.  I'm feeling good about this team now and they are starting to become pretty fun to watch.  THE DIFF!  Also, we made Derrick Rose's pussy lips cry after the game...LOLZ!

I got through everything that I wanted to today but feel free to discuss anything and everything non-football.  This is my final post for the week as you get a BONUS ICEMAN RANT on Friday.  He's had this one locked and loaded for months so you know that it is bad.


Anonymous said...

I'm struggling with college basketball this year as well and I don't think it's just because the Buckeyes blow. It just doesn't seem very good. I haven't been able to get into many non-OSU games.

If I see you downtown this weekend, I'm going to do something dirty right in front of you to force you to clean it up. Whether that's pooping on the sidewalk or just dropping some trash...I don't know.

The Red Wings are KILLIN' it this this team. So young. What an amazing organization.

If Allenby had truly been abducted in Hawaii, then I'm confident Dog would have saved him...since that didn't happen, I'm calling BS.

I wish Scherzer well...good dude.

LOLZ @ thinking the Cavs have flipped the script after a 3 game winning streak that includes one win over the Lakers. Slow your roll BRUH.

The only person excited about two days of Iceman is Iceman.


Nibbles said...

"I'm hellbent on getting a selfie with the Stanley Cup"

Ambassador for CJB = Larry Culpepper of NHL

GMoney said...

I never thought about that, Nibs..."ICE COLD CARRY THE FLAG HERE!"

I just said that the Cavs are trending in the right direction and that things are falling into place. And it's all due to Blatt taking the team bowling!!!

I just want to remind everyone of how dumb Iceman is because he actually believes that teams don't bring it harder against certain teams. Like Vandy last night gave the same effort and focus at Rupp that they do against Tennessee-Martin. LOLOLOLZ DUMB. And the Cavs are starting to understand that they get everyone's best and are responding in kind. I expect them to obliterate Utah tonight to make up for that horseshit Gordon Hayward buzzer beater in November.

I'm already breaking my own rules today: Suspend Belichick for a full season. That's twice he's been caught. Sit the fuck down.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if Pats takes were going to come out. Strip them of all draft picks and ban Belichick for the SB and all of next year. Abhorrent fucking organization.

Lets go through some non football TAKES.

The Islanders are indeed playing lights out, and just a scant few months until moving just down the street from me. But, fuck them, CARRY IT! I still get reminded of that sick Liz Lemon Islander burn every time I think about them.

Mayweather is a fucking cunt, obvz. I've been on Team Pacquiao for a long time, and while his stock was diminished with those two losses, I still think he could hang with Mayweather.

Feel like making money? Watch for the sanctions to be lifted on Russia in the coming month or so, then go #ALLIN on RTSI (RTS.RS). Economic crippling sanctions being lifted is too good to pass up. You're welcome in advance.

I fell asleep at 730 so I missed Justified. That was not ELITE. However, scoring almost 10 hours of sleep on a weeknight most certainly is.


GMoney said...

I'm nervous about building the final season around Ava. She isn't one of the show's strongest characters to put it nicely.

And I wasn't very impressed with P&R last night. At least Ron and Leslie are bros again.

People who say "the Colts still lost by a million" don't get it. The Patriots are cheating again. THAT is the point. What if they were doing this against the Ravens (and they probably were)? FLACCO ELITE SHOULD STILL BE PLAYING DAMMIT!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

My phone updated to the new google browser and it might let me comment again! Woooo!!!

IDE- need more info on this shady investment advice please. I'm about to cash out on ISIS (it's a pharmaceutical company). Nice 70% return since October. NBD.

I'm glad the tigers didn't give scherzer that much money. Hate to see him go, but I don't blame him for chasing the money like windians fans do. The concept of paying his contract over 14 years gives the team the advantage of time value of money. Didn't you go to business school, g-boy?


GMoney said...

I did not, bruh, but glad you're back (not really). I'm more of a get it over with kind of guy as opposed to a prolonging the agony fella.

You should teach Cakes how to comment. Show up again, Papa Faggot.

I think it would be hilarious if the Tigers gave James Shields 100 million. Please do this.

Drool, my shifts/shafts are Friday afternoon and Sat/Sun morning so you better get your littering and assholery done early.

Prime99 said...

I agree on College Basketball. I haven't watched a game, including the UCD OT win on ESPN (which apparently was reason enough for a court storming, when it really wasn't.) Aggies are 14-3 and 4-0 in the Big West, tho.

Anonymous said...

G$....I'll try to find you Friday or Sunday then. Saturday morning I'll be in the Horseshoe with thousands of Buckeye fans celebrating a national championship.


GMoney said...

Huh? That's news to me. Sounds like an #IdeLie.

Anonymous said...

What's news to you? The celebration is Saturday from 11-12.

Slow...I'm gonna be in Lexington in a couple hours. I expect to see a statue of you.


Anonymous said...

Dut, since last January, the Ruskies were under sanctions from Europe and the US. Their stock index has collapsed by more than 50% in the past year, including a bump for the Olympics.

Earlier this month, Europe, which is facing many problems of their own, asked the US to lift the sanctions. Europe imports most of their oil from Russia, and in so, Russias chief export is oil to Europe. So allowing trade to commence will ease a lot of the problems both areas face. The hitch, as of now, is the House Republicans, allowing this to happen.

If/when it does happen, then goodness, the stock will explode. It may be a longer play for it to double back up, but there will be a YUGE up front jump.


Anonymous said...

College basketball is boring because it won't be interesting until someone knocks UK out of the tourney. So we have to wait until March to care (which is 90% of college basketball fans).

I have avoided reading anything about the PATS cheating because I think its just...weird BS. Maybe someone can humor me here:

1) How do you investigate this after the game and tell that the balls were 1pound deflated 14 down from 15?! Is there some sort of quality control going on post game like drug testing in the olympics? Do you go to the PATS 2-3 days later and say "hey BRAHS, you probably haven't heard that people think you under inflated your game balls, can we have all 12 from Sundays game....."

2) Are the refs not trained in this kind of molecular science? These are 6 figure NFL refs who touch the balls EVERY PLAY OF THE GAME. I heard this accusation came from a colts linebacker who made a pic and thought the ball felt under inflated. Huh? So the refs can't to the kicker thing with the ball a few times a game and get a sense for over/under inflation?

I smell tons of BS here - and I am shocked the NFL has came out confirming this as true...

I also find it odd how well the NCAA refs performed in their "playoff" and how well they deal with review and get nothing wrong. Yet, the sports kind of the world continually has game issues with refs and reviews.

- J saul

GMoney said...

Yeah, the refs definitely look dumb but the Colts were on top of this from the second Jackson said something. Their GM apparently filed a grievance or whatever with the NFL during the game.

Basically, someone working for The Shield should be handling the balls and not the teams. That's just stupid. Keep in mind, Lane Kiffin got nailed for this at USC so you KNOW that the practice is dirty as fuck.

Drew, I was asking about this mythical "cham-pee-on-ship" in which you speak. Never heard of it.

Anonymous said...

College basketball is terrible. The play is so sloppy but that is what you get when you have a lot of 19 year olds who came from playing AAU ball.

Lolz at g$ talking championship for the Cavs because of a three game winning streak in January.


GMoney said...

I've talked championship all season long. I have never lowered my expectations. Also: I don't believe that I said anything about a title today. Good try.

Grumpy said...

"The only person excited about two days of Iceman is Iceman."

Wraps up consecutive COY.

Anonymous said...

Grumps...I did not win COY last year.


GMoney said...

Speaking of Iceman, he is being a real n-word behind the scenes today.

Grumpy said...

My only excuse is the pain meds. And dementia.

Anonymous said...

Iceman has always been niggardly.


Anonymous said...

Interesting...I've always pegged him as being more white trash.