Monday, January 26, 2015

STOP TALKING ABOUT AIR PRESSURE

I admit that when Ballghazi initially broke, I was all about bringing those cheating bastards to justice.  I mean, it's TOTES OBVZ that they are lying to everyone and we all know it.  But I can't handle any more Belichick science lesson pressers or Brady playing dumb or ALL THE HOT TAEKS.  Congrats, lame stream media, on killing the shit out of this borderline story.  There was something there that perhaps may have brought down a dynasty (at least I hope) but this John Elway has beaten to death so much that I don't care.  GIVE IT A REST.  There is a Super Bowl to play on Sunday.  I'd rather talk about YAC (or RPY = Rings Per Year) than PSI.  And I speak for everyone with that opinion.

I'll give my quick rundown of what it's like to work the NHL All Star Game Fan Fair at the end.  Unfortunately, there wasn't really much to go a full post on so we're going to address some properly inflated topics.

*It ain't no Champions Lane - Ohio Buckeyes took 12 days to actually throw their dick-sniffing party for some reason but they did so on Saturday morning at their dump stadium.  I was surprised that only 45K were there and I think Poopson counts as two thousand.  Fake fans IMO.  Of course, our dipshit mayor had to go change the name of Lane Ave to Undisputed Way.  Idiot.  Champions Lane is still the superior street.

*RIP Mr. Cub - Ernie Banks died on Friday and if you think that his corpse would avoid jokes here then you have no idea how this site works.  Poor guy nearly made it 84 years all while being a loser every day of his entire life.  I never understood why he always wanted to play two games other than he sure did enjoy losing.  If only he would have chosen the superior Chicago team he would have been able to hoist a trophy in 2005 while the manager called him in a "pendejo".  Yes, that will do.

*The NHL Fantasy Draft is a solid watch - I highly doubt that any of you watched this on Friday night but it was enjoyable.  All the players are waiting to get drafted fantasy football style onto their All Star team while getting blasted on top shelf liquor.  More sports need to get their best players drunk on live TV while Ovi is campaigning to win a free Honda Accord (what they give to their Mr. Irrelevant).

*LOL Dumb Teams - The 2011 NBA Draft was quite a significant amount of garbage.  Yeah, Kyrie was a legit #1 pick and is a star but the rest of the top ten is a real who's who of role players and feces.  I say this because Klay Thompson, the #11 pick that year, went off for 37 points in one quarter on Friday night.  Here are a few guys taken before him in 2011: Derrick Williams, Bismack Biyombo, Jan Vesely, and JIMMER!

*G$ as Ambassador - Fun weekend in Columbus.  And just being a part of it all was cool.  Thursday, I helped out with a street hockey clinic which was kind of boring but whatever.  Friday and Saturday, I helped run the Precision Passing station which was enjoyable.  I got to do some serious work on my stick-handling, puck possession, and saucer passes.  Friday, Phil Kessel and his bruhs came by these game areas and were trying them out (not Kessel himself who was attached to this smoking hot Asian broad) but his boyz did.  I can't even begin to tell you how BRAH these guys were.  I tried to explain how these simple drills worked and all of them might as well have replied with a "CAN IT GO OFF-ROADIN' BRAH!"  Hilarious.  And Kessel's boys are terrible.  Sunday, I worked the Fantasy Draft location where people could get their pics taken where Friday's event was held.  Big -Rex stopped by to say hello.  Nick Foligno showed up randomly and took pictures on the stage after saying hello to me.  We are bros now.  The only thing that I regret is not getting a picture with the Cup.  The problem was that my shifts never lined up where I could achieve that.  If you closed the convention down, it was easy.  I never did.

It was enjoyable and a good experience.  From everything that I've read online, the city has blown away NHL officials and fans and that is a good thing.  Columbus done good.  I would recommend doing something like this.  In FACT, I will probably look into the MLB All Star Game this July in Cincy.  Peace out, bruh.

21 comments:

Grumpy said...

I'll make sure you never work any event in Cincy. We don't need your kind taking jobs from real Pete Rose fans.

Jeff is way more ELITE than you.

Mr. Ace said...

That sounds awful. I hope they paid you well.

Iceman, any server stories from this weekend you would like to share with us.

Jeff said...

Yea, I touched Lord Stanley's Cup and have photo evidence. Way more ELITE.

Lol Josh Gordon. Iceman will love to rant about that. Hopefully the news broke when he was sending back his French onion soup because he didn't know it had onions and he was waiting on an orange crush refill.

Anonymous said...

Well done G$...it did sound like the hockey media/fans thought Columbus did an EXCELLENT job with the All-Star Weekend. I'm sure you were the glue that kept everything together!

As for your other comments...

*How can you not mention that your own Blue Jackets star Ryan Johanson put on an OSU football jersey during the skills competition on Saturday night and then won MVP at the ASG! Further proof that everything that touches Ohio State football right now turns to gold! You're welcome.

*The amount of scoring in the NHL ASG is just stupid and makes it not interesting to watch IMO. But, really all of the all star games are worthless...so, whatevz.

*"only 45K people"....LOLZ at this. 45,000 people with weather in the 20's is great and it was a blast. Love being around 12 Gauge and the gang!

*Can't wait to roll down "Undisputed Way" for the first time...gotta make sure to get it done over the next 12 months as many times as possible as you know it's gonna be changing to something like "Back 2 Back Way" a year from now.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Only idiots vote for awards so Joey pandered to the dumbest of the dumb to win. Star-making weekend for that kid though.

Seriously, you all should have seen Kessel's bruhs. Lolz!

Bettman hanging out at Char Bar is hilarious. What do you think he drinks? My guess is club soda with a hint of semen. Booooo!!!

GMoney said...

Maybe NOW...FINALLY...all Browns fans can get behind the notion that Josh Gordon should no longer be in your team's employ as I have been saying forever. Dude is Justin Blackmon. Get rid of that dicknip.

Grump, I am staying with you.

Jeff definitely did that damn thang by getting his Cup on. When did you go? Fan Fair was pretty ELITE IMO. A lot of cool shit there expecially me in a stylish vest.

T. Iceman said...

Sadly all of my servers were adequate this weekend, Ace.

Fucking Josh Gordon. Not much left to say about this waste of human. Release him. Trade him. I don't give a fuck. Get him off the team before he starts infecting other players. You know you should kill yourself when Justin Blackman has his life in better order.

GMoney said...

I would love to know of a team willing to trade for a guy who is going to get suspended for a year.

GMoney said...

Drew, did you find out anymore about why Beau Bishop is gone from The Fan? My skillz did not pay the billz over the weekend. Couldn't dig up anything. He sucks ass though so fuck him.

#FIRETBONE #TBONESUCKS

Anonymous said...

G$...No clue, but I just tweeted at Awful Announcing to see if they could get us an answer.

--Drew

T. Iceman said...

The Raiders would trade for him. You asked for one.

Anonymous said...

I had a blast watching that ASG. Columbus really was putting on airs this weekend both geographically and ELITE affletic skills.

So, I got sent home from work, apparently we are getting upwards of 3 feet of snow tonight and the city is literally shutting down. So I just received an ELITE 5 day weekend.

Also, shout out to Daniel for coming out of (the closet) facebook retirement to wish himself a happy birthday. That was top notch.

Jeff, I liked the orange crush comment, but we all know Iceman only orders a shirley temple.

Ide

Prime99 said...

I agree that Daniel's FB work was ELITE. High comedy throughout.

I watched a lot of the ASG, but it was fairly dull as the scoring kept going up. Odd to say, but there definitely is a ceiling for scoring in a hockey game before it becomes dumb to watch.

I saw 5 minutes of the Pro Bowl. Terrible.

Cool that you helped out, G$. The lack of pic with the Stanley Cup is very weak. Jeff's pic was ELITE!

Mr. Ace said...

That sounds awful. I hope they paid you well.

Iceman, any server stories from this weekend you would like to share with us.

T. Iceman said...

Ace can't read.

Anonymous said...

Now this is something I can get behind on the stupid deflategate;
http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/2015/01/25/patriots-fumble-nearly-impossible-rate/LCgrlUR9qgxDsIgcal9dUI/story.html

I recommend reading all of the article.

- jsaul

Mr. Ace said...

Hmmm...how the hell did my comment repeat 4.5 hours later? I think the government is watching us.

If you enjoyed the Daniel shenanigans on facebook...you're welcome.

GMoney said...

LOL I was wondering if there was a Faux Dan out there. I hope that everyone got their Ohio merch signed though by a real legend!

Jeff said...

I was at the fan fest from about 11-1 I think. We didn't wait in line for any of those exhibits in the middle. I did score on live goalie with a snipe wrister at the exhibit right near the entrance.

GMoney said...

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID HELLO

Grumpy said...

Jeff's last words as he left home for the Fan Fest, "Bye honey, I hope I don't run into that asshole."