Friday, January 09, 2015

It's Time To Put Your Big Boy Bib On

So hot.  So true.
The other night, Ide sent me a text asking if we could start working on Ribfest IV planning.  I told him, "Listen, Sambo, I was already planning on doing just that on Friday".  Great story.  Anyway, why don't we plan RibFest today?  Rumor has it, Ide ran off at the mouth again and we may be getting an appearance from a certain desert rat this year.  That would be huge.

OK, so March seems to be the preferred month for this.  Let's scroll through the weekends and see what works and what does not.  As for me, I don't have any plans (or at least I don't think so) outside of being a below average father.

3/7 - The CBJ are at home that night against Colorado.  I asked Dut to use his connections to get us a luxury box.  He said that he couldn't but offered to blow everyone.  Man, what's his deal anyway?
3/14 - It's conference tournament weekend and some people may be heading to wherever the Big Ten is playing theirs this year.  FYI, St. Patrick's Day is on a Tuesday if you don't have kids.
3/21 - First round of March Madness, bruh!  And we've got Friday/Sunday games in Columbus!  That is sort of perfect for a Saturday RibFest, don't you think?  I was assuming that Kentucky would be a lock to come up here but there are games at Louisville, too, so they will mos def stay home.  Sorry, Seal.
3/28 - It's Easter weekend which could mean travel for some of us (probably me, actually).  Speaking of the NCAA tournament, there is a Regional at The Q on this weekend.  THE DIFF!!!

I think that 3/21 sort of works really well but everyone can chime in with what they prefer.  I already know that Grump, Drew, Jeff, Damman, Lacey, and Ape are in there like swimwear.  Cakes might be granted permission to not attend due to no one liking him and that whole newborn thing.  I want new blood.  How about a Rex or a -Rex?  A Daniel, Dut, Nibbles, Sauls, and Clubber?  Seal and Company?  Ide and Burke?  Prime and MUFan!  You know that if Iceman comes north, he's bringing 40 people like always.  Let's shut Barley's the fuck down, BRAH!

OK then, let's get to round 2 of our NFL Playoff Contest.  Remember that you are all playing for "question mark".  Maybe I'll buy your RibFest dinner if you attend.  What happens if I win though?  That's an ELITE question.  I should make you all chip in to buy me a Flacco jersey.  This weekend's slate of games are damn good and while the spreads are BIG, history tells us that one of the favorites is going down.

Baltimore @ New England -6.5 O/U 47.5 - I bow down at the Church of ELITE.  We've all been beaten over the head with how the Ravens always play the Pats tough.  In FACT, I'll pick Baltimore to knock out Belichick again because Ray Rice is tougher than Aaron Hernandez.  BAL OVER

Carolina @ Seattle -10.5 O/U 39.5 - On paper, this game looks like it will suck.  In real life, this game will probably suck.  I can't imagine Cam winning in Seattle or even keeping it all that close.  SEA UNDER

Dallas @ Green Bay -6.5 O/U 52.5 - If the universe balances itself out this weekend then Dallas will get beat on some sort of atrocious call.  That MUST happen.  I don't have a ton of faith in T-Bone going up and winning a game in single digit temperatures.  But the status of Rodgers' calf is terrifying.  I think that the Cowboys keep it close but the Packers win with a FG at the gun and the nation rejoices.  DAL UNDER

Indianapolis @ Denver -7.5 O/U 53.5 - Oh baby!  Peyton Manning in the playoffs is always my time to shine as a guy who knows more about football than all of you.  ELI IS SUPERIOR!  I'm not feeling an upset here though.  I actually think that the Broncos kick the shit out an OVERRATED Colts team that can't run the ball and is shitty on D.  DEN OVER

I think that come Monday morning, we are preparing for BAL/DEN and GB/SEA next weekend which is fine by me.  Let's get a look at the standings:

6-2: Ide
5-3: G$, JSaul
4-4: Drew, Jeff, Iceman, Andrew B
3-5: Ace, Seal, -Rex, Burke
2-6: Prime, Lacey

Let's knock out that RibFest IV date today before we're at each others throats again next week once college football crowns their champion (Captain Dildo).  Make your picks and Carry The Flag!


Anonymous said...

3/21 or 3/7. 3/14 is a miss, because I would have to go to an abhorrent birthday party there that I would rather miss. And by miss, I mean, flat out refuse to go to.


Anonymous said...

I am in. 3/21 sounds good, although my say probably doesn't matter.

Also, why does THE LEAGUE keep throwing out reports on how they blew calls for the Lions. I am finally over ot and they keep on bringing that shit up.


GMoney said...

Oh wait--is that Victor's Stube Reunion Party on the 14th? Not sure how something can be abhorrent if you can buy Stroh's there but whatever. I see what you're saying. Victor sucks what with his Boston ties and whatnot.

The Shield wants everyone to know that their all-star crews are terrible equally and miss everything. Anything to deflect attention off of Rog!

Two votes for 3/21.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'd rather beat Drew off, than buy that fat fuck a shot. He sweats and smells like a black, no thanks.


GMoney said...

Make your picks, broseph.

Anonymous said...

Just tell me where to be. IN for getting beat off by Ide...might paint my dick black just to really make it sumthin.



Grumpy said...

Pick a date, I'll be there.

Anonymous said...

Don't think I'll make it this year (I know that all of you are absolutely crushed)... the weekend of the 14th I'll be in Scottsdale Zona for a bachelor party and the 21st Ill be attending the Sweet 16/Elite 8 games in CLE.



GMoney said...

Except that if you read my calendar, those CLE games are the following weekend, bruh. Need to make a better excuse IMO.

Anonymous said...

Sorry. No excuse then - mixed up the weekends.


T. Iceman said...

Pick what works for everyone and I'll do my best to be there. Things have gotten a little more complicated as I now have a bachelor party in Ohio that month. My older brother, after nearly 10 years of dating, finally decided to propose to the girl he's already essentially married to. He hasn't picked a weekend for his bachelor party yet but it's Mos Def in March. By the way...yesterday was the anniversary of Tebow delivering us free ribs as if he were the Messiah himself.

NE - Over
Seattle - Over
Dallas - Under
Colts - Over

GMoney said...

Iceman, this post was almost destiny then. I will forever love that day.

Anonymous said...


I can see BAL keeping it close - but normally when everyone spends the week predicting the Patriots to go down, Bill is behind the scenes just cheating harder. So I see them winning but not covering that monster spread.

DEN just has not been playing well. I think they win, but its gonna be close. This is Luck's statement game. He's already the GOAT, just needs to back it up.......

CAR keeps it closer than 11 points but never really competes.

Lions already lost in Lambeau - why are we predicting that game again?

I'll try to add some new blood to the fest being back in CBUS and all, but only if - Rex gives me a ride.

- J saul

Prime99 said...


I would fucking love to get drunk and eat rib with you degenerates but it's not possible this year (when has it been possible?) With the new job and the band scheduling 3 months out I'm already locked up. I gotta find a way out to luxurious Columbus!

GMoney said...

We would kick you band's ass.

Anonymous said...

I was going to vote for the 21st until Ide said he couldn't make it on the 14th so that's my vote. But in all seriousness the 21st works the best for me.

Bal under
Seattle over
Cowboys over
Indy over


Jeff said...

I'm cool with the 21st.

NE under
CAR over
DAL over
DEN under

Mr. Ace said...

I have some peeps coming in from out of town the weekend of the 21st. But I can make it work if that works best for errbody else. And if I bring them they can add some color to our crew.

Balt Under
Carolina Over
Dallas Under
Indy Over

Anonymous said...

Ballmor OVER
Seattle UNDER
Green Bay UNDER
Denver OVER


GMoney said...

RIBFEST IS SATURDAY 3/21...update your calendars and tell your plantation owners.

Prime99 said...

I didn't think anyone would taek Ballmor. Shows what I know.

Anonymous said...

Patriots over
Panthers over
Cowboys over
Broncos over

Let's see some points this weekend


Josh Bourn said...

NE over
Sea over
GB over
Den under

Andrew B