|That look just screams "UP FOR WHATEVER"|
Did the Redskins win this week? YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT THEY DID and thus saved christMAS for me so let's talk some football.
Feel Seems - He should be here every week and I should, too, for watching a good chunk of Thursday's Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl replica featuring the Jags and Titans but Feel actually said that he liked what he saw from Zack Mettenberger this season. LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
Chip Kelly - I absolutely love this guy eating shit as it sure seems to me like his offense isn't as ELITE as everyone wanted you to believe. In less than one week, Chip got beat by Jerry Jones' Ginger Muppet and Football Roger Clinton and now their season is likely over. REDSKINS!!! The Eagles are frauds. They always have been. Playing "pussy ball" can be cool to watch but it doesn't work once the weather changes. All of those quick drives and no huddle BS has finally caught up to that defense. I love it. Fuck you, Ace, I am better than you at rooting for a bad team!!! DeSean says hello!
Quinton Patton - It looked shaky for awhile, but you just knew that both the Redskins AND the Niners weren't going to win on the same day. That would be too cray cray. So SF choked so epically bad that I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't watching it. Poor Jimmy BRAH, just go back home.
Dominic Raiola - Fuck this piece of shit. Kick him out of the league. If the league is going to keep lying about how much they love player safety, they can't just keep ignoring the asshole out there trying to hurt players one stomp at a time. The Lions blow by the way.
Chris Kluwe - I know that he isn't the Vikings punter anymore because he has been nuked over on Fag Island or whatever their coach said, but I'll just blame him for that incredible walk-off blocked punt in Miami.
Joe Flacco - James Franco was most definitely not ELITE yesterday. Arian Foster had a better passing day. I still think that the Ravens are probably the best team in the North but they are in big time trouble now and they only have themselves to blame. But when you get swept by Andy Dalton, well, fuck you.
Kyle Shanahan - You can blame Manziel or Hoyer or Gordon or the rookie RBs but the guy calling the plays is calling shitty games and he has been for over a month now. This is what he does. He'll blow your mind initially and then the league figures him out and he has no other gear. This is The Shanahan Plan. Next up: leaking shit to the press as a means to deflect attention from you!
Jimmy Graham, Drew Brees, Sean Payton and everyone else - Embarrassing. Graham is softer than Charmin. That dude is such a pussy. Talented as all get out but he is weak. Brees has officially entered the Chad Pennington Zone. It's sad that he is no longer a top 5 QB and probably not even top ten. If the Saints fired Payton next week, would anyone even object? That's two BAD seasons in a row. The Saints are pathetic. I have no interest at all in watching the NFC South championship next Sunday which has no chance in Hell of getting flexed into primetime. If the Falcons weren't total garbage, they would have won the division today already.
Andy Reid - One more week until the Chiefs accomplish immortality by going a full season without a WR scoring. I'm pulling for them! And for as bad as this NFL season has been, at least we get to root against the Cowboys, Patriots, AND Steelers in the playoffs. That's YUGE!!!
Rex Ryan - Goodnight, sweet prince. Hell of an effort in your last home game but just came up short. You will be missed. Enjoy your wife's veiny feet.
Jeff Fisher - I'm still pissed off over his cunt captain move in DC a few weeks ago as if the STL blueprint was proven right even though they have finished last in the division the last three years. Then yesterday, his thugs take liberties with ODB and a massive brawl starts which is fitting because black people in Missouri can't stop breaking laws (no offense). Fuck the Rams. Beckham is a goddamn stud and way more important to the league than any of the losers that are going to be playing in LA soon. Fuck you, Jeff Fisher.
LOL Billz - Well, that was a nice run but it's over. I noticed that Seantrel Henderson or whatever his name is starts for the Bills. I couldn't believe it. This former #1 overall recruit turned out to be an enormous bust but ended up starting on Sundays. Impressive. He's probably a better lineman than commenter Daniel but not Blogger G$.
Chuck Pagano - What the fuck was that? Why even show up if the team has no intention of playing hard. You knew it was going to get ugly when Dewey McDonald dropped that fake punt perfect throw. The Cowboys have won the NFC East and look AMAZING. Dez Bryant is unguardable. Dude might be the best non-JJ Watt player in the league. But back to the Clots:
Andy Luck - First it was Peyton. Last week was Rodgers. This week, if you owned Luck then you probably lost your league's Super Bowl (Hi DAN!). Fantasy football is a bitch. And then there is Damman who builds his teams around T-Bone Romo in spite of ALL OF HISTORY saying that this is stupid and it works out. Shit.
FANTASY - Damman wins the MSFL over Iceman because Iceman sucks oriental dicks. Boz wins the LFL over Dan (with a little help from my fire sale trade at the deadline...BOOM!). The G$FL is in the semis and I'm probably going to lose to Damman and Romo (fuck off). Josh Gordon can get fucked. This looks like the first time in four years where I will go without a crown. Not cool.
In conclusion, it's BEAT DALLAS WEEK to end the season for the Skins and we have a decent chance to sweep the year if they sit people. Pity wins still count! The RedHawks and Fuckeyes play on the hardwood tonight and I have no desire to watch it (I will but I am expecting a 30 points loss). I'm not finding much juice in college hoops this year. Iceman is loading up his scrotum-looking bag and playing Santa Blogs tomorrow so show up and get your present that will be smeared with poop probably. 'Memba when the Skins sent the Eagles home? I do.