|Can't enough of that spray tan|
And that might be fine if you've been following the gossip unleashed by Murray's former college teammate, Brennan Clay. Apparently, Murray has been banging the guy's girl for a long time and he has been releasing screen caps and text dialogue via Twitter over the last week as proof. The best part is that the broad in question had Murray in her phone as "SPRAY TAN". LOL! Spray Tan is this generation's Ron Mexico. I will respect any Cowboys fan that gets a custom Spray Tan jersey. Sex scandals are always ELITE. Let's sit on the toilet and talk poopy players.
Brandon Marshall and Chris Conte - It's getting hard to keep describing how bad the Bears are. Marshall may have broken ribs and was seen leaving Soldier Field in an amb-a-lance because his pussy back couldn't handle a knee from God awful Barry Church (the MAC's version of Kurt Coleman!). Conte got hurt and Bears fans cheered. This just goes to show that NO ONE likes white guys in their secondary. They are always terrible.
Watching Football Yesterday - I barely saw any of the games. I know that the Browns choked and the Redskins were the worst. Other than that, whatever. But I, unfortunately, have a good excuse.
We took Penny to see Santa at our neighborhood clubhouse at 1. He showed up late and was sort of an asshole but it's better than going to the mall. So missed the first half of the early games. No biggie.
The wife took the dog and baby (in stroller) on a walk at about 4:30 right when the late games were starting up and I'm sending death threat Tweets to the Redskins account. I hear a slight thump at the front door but think nothing of it. A minute or so later, She$ comes bursting through the door because the dog got attacked and she doesn't know where he is. So I put on some sandals and am sprinting to the place where she said it happened. The dog is nowhere. She has the baby in the car and says that he seemed really hurt and took off running once he got away from this dog that is about three times his size (I know of this dog, it is a big fucker that weighs at least triple digits and then some). Its stupid bitch owner just sort of waddled out to the street as her dog was trying to eat mine while my wife is trying to protect the baby AND the dog which is not easy obvz.
I'm running around like a madman for at least 30 minutes screaming the dog's name. No one in the neighborhood is of any help. I just know that I am going to find him in a position that I don't want to but, deep down, I realize that if that is reality then I want to be there before he goes. I am all the way over at the nearby school looking in the woods and--gasp--alongside the road since that has happened before. I see nothing. She$ comes and picks me up and is borderline delirious as she blames herself for having stupid fucking neighbors.
All of a sudden while driving, I remember that thump at the front door so we head back home. He isn't in our backyard or the new neighbors but She$ walks over to the other neighbor's house (currently unoccupied) and there he is at the back door. He is shaking and bleeding and limping but he seems more scared than hurt. If you recall from last year when he got attacked, it was just sort of a glancing bite across his back that opened him up. This time was full-fledged aggression. So we loaded the whole family into the car and headed to Columbus's version of Disney World: Animal Emergency Room. They stitched him up (only three but he has quite a few abrasions) and it could have been much worse. It was cheaper than the last time. The wife is going over to the other dog's house today and hopefully they are cool with helping out (not an easy conversation but a necessary one). The man of the house tried to find the dog for as long as we did so at least they are aware that we will be back.
As for me, I will be attending our next neighborhood council meeting to address this. This is bullshit. This should not be happening. LEASH/CHAIN YOUR FUCKING DOGS. Not doing so is just stupid. Why would you even risk this? For fuck's sake, that dog could have went after MY DAUGHTER. Do you want that? Because if that happens I'm coming back with a Louisville Slugger. The dog is uncomfortable and wearing the hilarious neck cone again but he should be back to normal before Christmas.
Jesus Christ, people. Owning a dog isn't hard. Never trust them to do the right thing. I will tell you this: for as shitty of a situation as this was/is, my heart melts knowing that the dog escaped this fight and ran straight back home. I wish he would have barked at the door, but he came back first thing. Love ya, buddy, and maybe next Sunday I won't make you root for the Redskins.
Obvz a different post today but most of us are dog bros here (or at least pro-animal). Come back tomorrow for what I assume will be really annoying.