|ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION, CHUCK!|
Either way, I feel like I'm giving back to the area should they pick me to serve. I feel like the entire world needs to see how dedicated I am to carrying the flag. It isn't all bluster and fraudulent student ID tickets. I am a part of the damn community and I will help any and all French Canadian motherfuckers find the restroom before they shit their pants. If you're interested at all, here is the application link. Who knows if they are still accepting BRAHs but they are looking for 450 people so whatever. CTF!
Dat Thursday Game Though - Jesus, it's been awhile since we've had a no touchdown game. Praise Allah that Feel Seems was around to commentate it and say things like "a field goal is just as good as a touchdown" and somehow that be right. What a turd. The final Thursday game of the year is Titans/Jags and there is no way that it could be worse than Cards/Rams.
Ryan Lindley - I will consider myself to be #blessed if I never have to watch this loser throw a pass again.
Johnny Manziel - Let's start with the biggest shitshow. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny...we all probably assumed that you would make some mistakes due to being a gun slinger and what not but I did not expect you to prove Merrill fucking Hoge right immediately. You don't belong. Right now, you can't play. So much excitement and enthusiasm this week and in the first hour, it was back to "typical Browns".
Jeff Triplette - That was a horseshit call at the end of the first half on the Griffin fumble. Fuck this guy. He is the worst official in the NFL and continues to prove it even though the league gives him the worst games every week. That was a fucking touchdown and I'm not even mad that Santana Moss got kicked out for correctly calling him the worst. Moss is right. Triplette fucking blows.
Jay Gruden - Then again, the HEAD COACH had no idea until the third quarter that one of his players got kicked out. I'm so done with this guy. You can be an asshole if you are good at your job. Gruden is not. If it comes down to him or Griff, they better fire this fucking guy. He is a terrible football coach. We most definitely hired the wrong Bingles coordinator. I hate the Redskins.
Bashaud Breeland - Jeff's BFF from Clemson racked up 70 yards in penalties and allowed Odell to run free pretty much all game. He's still got a bright future but he needs to stop impersonating D-Hall.
Alex Smiff - STILL no touchdown passes to a wide receiver! It's been over a year! At least he got revenge on the Raiders! Here's a fun FACT for you: no one ever has wanted to watch the Chiefs play.
Mike Smith - You've got to love punting the ball on 4th and short and then never getting it back. The Falcons would have already won the South if they had no coach at all. Smith is that bad.
Aaron Rodgers and Jordy Nelson - BILLS D BRUH! Christ, they kept Peyton and Rodgers out of the end zone in back to back weeks! ELITE! Rodgers was bad and Nelson dropped everything. The Packers were due for a turd so this makes sense. I really hope that the Bills make the playoffs and if you give me a few hours, I will come up with a winning argument that The Kyle Orton Express is the NFL MVP. BRB.
Geno Smith - How bad do you have to be when someone plain as day punches you in the face and doesn't even get penalized? Good job by the Jets to play themselves out of Mariota though.
Teddy Bridgewater - He led two of the worst two minute drills that I've ever seen. Why was he wearing two gloves indoors? If you need to wear gloves indoors, you should be kicked out of the league. Good win by the Lions though. If this was college football, they would fall ten spots because they beat a shitty team at home by 2 but this is real man shit where winning is all that matters. I don't think that the Lions are a legit threat because their coach is a statue, but it's nice to see them playing well.
Peyton Manning - What a bitch. Couldn't even finish a half without needing drugs. I think it is a rule that the announce team mentions Antonio Gates was a basketball player at least 40 times per game.
Ed Hochuli - Just a terrible roughing the passer penalty call that ended the Niners chances which they weren't going to win anyway so who cares. Harbaugh has his choice between the Jets, Bears, Raiders, and Michigan which is like picking your favorite member of Rascal Flatts. It doesn't matter because they all suck equally. RIP Gore and Hyde who both died.
FANTASY! - I am in the playoffs in one league (the illustrious G$FL) and upset the three seed, -Rex, to advance to the semis! WEEEEEEE!!! Damman is up next and he will be let down by T-Bone Romo. It's amazing that if you owned Peyton last week, you're not playing this week. And if you had Rodgers this week, you are likely done. As Iceman is known to say, fantasy football makes my eyes rain.
Back to hockey before we go, the CBJ have now won SIX in a row and head to Garbage Town USA tomorrow to make it seven. FUCK YOU, DREW AND SAUL BOYS, OUR FLAG POLES ARE AT FULL MAST. The Redskins play on Saturday this coming week and it is during my extended family Christmas party. So, just to get it out of the way early, thanks for ruining CHRISTmas, Dan Snyder!