Friday, December 26, 2014
2010: Arthur Moats and Corey Wooton – These fine mine combined to rid the football world of Brett Lorenzo Favre. We thought that we would never get rid of him until these legends took matters into their own hands.
2011: Steve Shubin – 2011 was the year of the Fleshlight. It only made sense to honor the inventor. Who wants to bet that Lange doesn’t buy himself a light trophy? Bitch.
2012: G$ - Some saw this as controversial. I did not. This was a Louis Green slam dunk. I had an absolutely ELITE and filthy year. 2013 was not as ELITE unfortunately.
2013: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford - This man has done at all. Incredible GIFs, amazing facial expressions, Bills football games, crack rocks, eating pussy...Rob Ford defines this site.
How do we score this, you ask? It’s pretty easy actually. We ask two simple questions which must result in a NO and then a resounding YES.
1. Are you OVERRATED?
2. Are you ELITE?
Now let’s get to this year’s nominees so we can complete everyone's Fave Five!
Ide - He won Commenter of the Year so he’s getting an invite to the varsity show. Basically, he’s just getting everyone’s drinks for them with no tip. He is not allowed to talk which means that he has to keep his takes to himself. He even gets the exact same write-up that I gave Drew last year.
Tony Stewart - We aren't ones to enjoy NASCAR mush around here but I'll always respect a man who races while sitting at 600 pounds and goes down to the minor leagues to kill other drivers. That's impressive. Do you even remember the dead kid? Of course not but we will always remember not to fuck with Smoke because he WILL kill you.
Everyone That Rooted Against US Soccer - You were the real heroes. Anyone can jump on a bandwagon but it takes a true man to stick with your morals and integrity. GO BELGIUM!
Isaiah Austin and Adam Silver - I teared up big time on the night of the NBA Draft during this moment and it was easily one of the best things that happened in sports this year. Silver is killing it as commissioner but giving Austin his moment was incredible.
Phyllis From Mulga - Stupid fucking Buck-I-Guy is going into the Fan Hall of Fame even though Phyllis is clearly the best in the business. Her calls to Finebaum are forever ELITE. She hates Cowherd. Although I am a little nervous that ESPN started putting her on SportsCenter. Phyllis is best in smaller, but STRONG doses. I don't want her to get over-exposed. She better be on the winning side at the Sugar Bowl, Cow Turd. ROLL TIDE!
Katy Perry - How can two women be nominated for Money Shot Man of the Year? Well, Phyllis was recognized for being hilarious and was never under serious consideration for the crown. Perry is doing the Super Bowl halftime show and I am actually looking forward to it, seems cool, was a big part of the best Gameday segment of the year (corn dogs!), and has great jugs. Easy call IMO.
Derek Jeter - Consider yourself lucky because he was the favorite for most of the year to win. That final game in Yankee Stadium is something that I will never forget (calling you out, dementia!). There will never be a classier and better representative for the game of baseball.
Dan Gilbert - Now, I don't believe that he deserves any of this but everything fell in his lap on pure luck so I'll give him credit for being the most fortunate man alive. He fucked up everything from the second that The Decision was made and it didn't matter at all. Deep down, if Love bolts after this year and LeBron fucks us again, a small part of me will say "Dan deserved that". He is a bad owner. But this is a bad site so whatever.
And now...The 2014 Money Shot Man of the Year is...
There was no other choice. This was not a tough decision at all. Congrats on the honor of being named Money Shot Man of the Year, Leaked Nudes Guy! Until next year!