Thursday, December 18, 2014

Oh Fuck It, Another Triple Threat: The HarBRAH IS Coming, Fantasy Ragrets, and Saying Goodbye

Jim can find that in Ann Arbor...sure.
I don't plan on making this Triple Threat a regular thing, but the HarBRAH news was coming in heavy last night so TAEKS need to be given. But I also don't think we need an entire post dedicated to HarBRAH...especially because I have a feeling that more news will be coming out today, even possibly a decision from the 49ers and the future of their head coaching position.

HarBRAH TAKE. I think he is coming. I have always felt pretty good about him coming, even before it was a popular thing to say or anybody knew the 49ers wouldn't make the playoffs or knew that Brady Hoke was a joke(LOLZ WE ALL KNEW THAT). Leading into this season everything seemed to be aligning perfectly for Jimmy BRAH to come on home. And here we are.

I will go ahead and say I am 70% certain he is coming. The numbers of the Michigan offer got leaked last night; 6 years for $49 mil. That's a whole lot of cash to coach a bunch of kids. But that number is right around where I expected it to be. I said last week that Michigan was not going to fuck this search up and this is why I felt that way; Michigan is willing to spend big boy money and going to make everybody on their list say "NO" to at least $7 mil per year. Michigan is putting aside whatever arrogance was in the athletic department under Brandon and finding the best football coach to lead this program back to the promised land. I hope it's Jimmy BRAH, but if it's not I'm 100% confident in the current AD finding the right man.

But Jimmy BRAH's coming, so chill.

We Gone. Monday night we got an approved application for our foster dog, Layla. Tuesday night we went and did a home visit with Layla. Apparently this guys wife has been begging to get Layla for months and constantly stalks my rescue's website to see if she is still available. The husband decided he wanted to surprise his wife by adopting Layla as a christmas gift for her. Pretty #ELITE. Last night we showed up with Layla, surprised his wife, and they took her in. The only issue we had was the family's current dog, a crazy black lab mix that wanted to wrestle with Layla the moment she walked through the door. Layla don't play that, at least not for a couple weeks. She's a tease, you can't just start humping her. The other dog has to play the game for awhile before any consensual wrestling can take place. Hopefully, it all worked out last night. If not, they send her back and I keep her forever. Win-win.


As noted on Facebook, my leash game is strong.

Also, today is the day that I get to tell my 20 4th graders, and the 20 other 5th graders I had last year, that I won't be returning in January. It's going to suck so hard. And I don't have any ego about this at all. If every single one of those kids just shrugs their shoulders I will be more than fine with that. And I know for a fact several of them will. But I really don't know if I'm ready for the disappointment I'm going to have to face from a couple of them. Becoming just another adult in their lives who claims to have cared about them, but then just walks out never to be heard from again. I hate being in a position where this is my best option, but none of that really matters. This is going to suck.

I was also uninvited to my final team meeting because my supervisor still refuses to talk to me, and certainly doesn't want to have open conversation with me in front of people she "manages". She's the worst.


Fuck Fantasy Football. I made the playoffs in the LFL and the MSFL this year. I barely limped in, finishing a robust 7-6 in both leagues. I knew I wasn't a real contender for the championship in either league, but making the playoffs you just never know. So you talk yourself into insane ideas like Ryan Mathews sprouting a dick and scoring touchdown, Peyton Manning finishing a year like he started it, or getting Stedman Bailey off the waiver wire will carry you to victory. Then Sunday rolls around and both my teams get aggressively anally pounded. Looking back, I have some regrets.

LFL:
1. I paid Top 7 money for Cam Newton. No, seriously.
2. Ben Tate was my #2 back.
3. I paid money for Pierre Garcon.
4. Ryan Mathews was my #3 back.
5. I regret being in a league with Daniel. The guy tries to troll the commish by writing a post-dated check, which is only funny to him. Then the commish and the rest of the league trolls him back by saying he is going to be docked points for not technically paying on time. He responds by saying he will quit the league if he has points taken away. Lange is a kinder commish than I am, because I would have called that bluff in a second.

MSFL:
1. I bought into Peyton Manning. Don't get me wrong, I knew my team was a playoff team the moment the draft was over. But nobody is winning a fantasy championship with Peyton Manning because at the end of the year he also does this shit. I don't know if teams finally catch up with him, especially divisional opponents getting their second crack, or he starts to break down, but during the fantasy playoffs he's bound to fuck you. Never again.
2. Sproles was my #2 back. It's a PPR league, but Sproles is a flex play at best.
3. I spent big money on Keenan Allen. The fucker still probably led the NFL in targets per game, but it just didn't translate into the fantasy value that I thought it would.
4. I regret not making the MSFL quite as ELITE as it usually is. I just had too much shit going on to put any worthwhile effort into the league this year. I promise to do better next year, because you deserve better.

What are some of your fantasy regrets?

Bonus Take. What the fuck is going on with this "The Interview" movie? North Korea threatens 9/11 level retaliation and Sony pictures just caves? I thought this was America! We don't negotiate with terrorists. I'm almost never a chest thumping 'Murican, but this is just fucking ridiculous. This whole situation has been bizarre. I'm sure the movie is awful, anyways.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

I saw a report from Michigan's Rivals site I believe last night that said those numbers are a bit high....which would make sense as the initial numbers on Urban's deal and Saban to Texas were way high as well. I say it's 50/50. I think he's definitely going to wait to see what NFL opportunities are out there before he makes a decision.....could be wrong tho. I would say if those numbers actually are real....URBZ at $4.8M is a fuckin' steal.

If that one kid gets poop anxiety when you announce you are leaving today, you are gonna feel real bad.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Drew, I thought the same thing at first. But then the number got picked up by more and more people and it hasn't changed. It might be high, but I have no doubt Michigan is prepared to make him the highest paid college football coach.

This week is what is known as hell week for that kid. Anytime before a break he gets all crazy and becomes a huge ass hole because he gets so nervous about having to stay home for so long. No pooping yet tho. So at least there's that.

Jeff said...

The only way I saw him going to Michigan was if the numbers were astronomical. That appears to be the case but I still don't see him going there. His ego is soo big that he could never live out being called a little bitch quitter by Pete Carroll and his Brah.

GMoney said...

Nice couple of weeks for Sony. Have your entire network hacked and then get your pants pulled down by some limp-dick hackers. If they released the movie last night online or whatever, it would have had a billion views.

I said it months ago that BRAH was pulling a LeBron. I was the first. And those numbers seem about right to me.

And I won a title with Peyton Manning. Last year. Rather easily I should add.

This wife who was stalking your dog sounds like a real loser imo.

Anonymous said...

G$...speaking of the Cavs....any worries starting to creep in? That defense....woof.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Hawks are pretty good. Nope. When you have a racist GM, you are going to be solid.

Anonymous said...

The Hawks didn't even have Teague. Dennis Schroeder was the PG and they torched the Cavs.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I know. I watched it. You don't need Teague when Shelvin Mack shoots a million percent.

Prime99 said...

The Niners girl in the pic has bigger hands than Alex SMIFF.

Regardless of who gets Harbaugh, the Niners are whiny dicklickers.

Anonymous said...

Yea and when they did have Teague the last time the two teams played, the Cavs were up by 43 at one point in the game. Let's make a big deal about one game where Atlanta couldn't miss. We still need a rim protector and we know it... but I'm not going to worry about a team that has Lebron, Kyrie and Love... in December.

Worry about your Pistons.

Seal

Anonymous said...

There is no need to worry about the Pistons...only worry should be if they start winning and ruin the position they have already put themselves in. This Cavs team isn't sniffing the finals with their current makeup. Even a schmuck like Bismack would do wonders.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Really? I've seen the East's "best" and I ain't scurrrrrrred. If the Cavs play the Hawks in a 7 game series, ATL is going home in 5. 7 games if they play Hawk's Pizza and Drive-Thru.

It takes awhile to get guys that have never played defense at all to all of a sudden understand how to play passable team defense. I do think that a Biyombo or a Larry Sanders would have a nice role on this team if they can be had.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at this Cavs roster not "sniffing" the finals. So basically you are saying that this Cavs team won't even make the Eastern Conference Finals? I think we will all remember that quote...

Seal

Prime99 said...

If anyone wants to talk about Trestman hilariously benching Cutler this week leaving Iceman without a QB for the MSFL final, by all means, have at it.

GMoney said...

Iceman didn't have a QB before this. The Bears are really trying to out-shitstain the Redskins. Jimmy Clausen is a pretty impressive trump card, I have to admit.

T. Iceman said...

If I were a flaming dildo like Drew, I would send him weekly Tweets about that prediction every time the Cavs win a game. But I'm better than him so I won't. I'm sure the Cavs faithful here won't forget to remind him how stupid he is when the time comes. Especially Seal.

As much as I hate to admit this, the Cavs will be just fine. When Lebron went to Miami they struggled the same way this Cavs team is and everyone was screaming to blow it up before the All-Star break. We all know how that turned out in the end.

Fine, Trestman! Bench my fantasy QB. You just did me a favor because now I get to ride the Orton Express to fantasy glory!

As more days pass then more I think HarBRAH is coming to Michigan. I'm not believing everything I read on Twitter but there is too much smoke for there not to be fire.

T. Iceman said...

G$ brings up a good point. It's not like #IdeLies won games because of Catler. My roster was built in a way where almost anyone could have been thrown in at QB and I would have been fine.

My one regret from the MSFL is picking up ODB then dropping him for some shit bad who isn't on my team anymore right before his fantasy explosion. Now I have to play against him in the finals. Irony is fun.

Anonymous said...

Iceman...how could that continually be brought up if it can't be judged until the ECF? You are so dumb....fo real. Also, if they make some trades for a BIG then the Cavs mgmt agrees with me. #7or8wins #LostTheConference

--Drew

GMoney said...

#CausedByDrew

I'm way more embarrassed by an opening night loss to the Knicks than I am a home loss to a Hawks team in which no one played any defense.

Sorry, folks, but Iceman's lineup is absolutely stacked regardless of who is under center. I don't want to jinx him here (I think I would have went with RG3 over The Express to be honest) but he will be fine.

Anonymous said...

Fuck Iceman.

I'll remember Drews comment for the playoffs. I don't even care about the Cavs.

I did an interview on channel 12 for the Interview. Some HOT PATRIOTIC TAKES. Kind of like what G$ did for the Yankees game, except people care about my opinion. And it's true.

Ide

T. Iceman said...

I don't know, Drew. Maybe in the same way you found a way to bring up every Buckeye win that happened after VT this season since you were convinced I put my reputation on 7 or 8 wins. I don't even know why I tap the aquarium anymore.

T. Iceman said...

Chanel 12 = Cable access.

GMoney said...

Channel 12 < NC-TV

Prime99 said...

Ide, is there a link to your hot TAEKS?

Anonymous said...

Is it cable access? I honestly dont know. They approached me in BROOKLYN this morning. All the strong takes about films (not movies) come out of the BK obvz.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Gave the interview at 1045 today. No clue when it will be up.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Dumb dumb...it became apparent very quickly that #7or8wins was laughable and it was the flood dams broke loose after MSU. I still don't know how we won the conference after losing it.

The Cavs have to make a move...we'll see if their mgmt agrees.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Hopefully it is as strong as the one Brandon Jennings made last night. My God.

T. Iceman said...

Heat were 16-8 after 24 games in LeBron's first year. The Cavs are 14-10 after 24 games in LeBron's first year. You're a jackass.

Anonymous said...

Oh this Heat team and that Cavs team are the same? OK. LOLZZZ! This Cavs team has no inside presence and is just atrocious on defense. Watch some basketball son
before you speak.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Drew claiming the Cavs won't make the ECF is humorous. Arguing with another Pistons guy is even better. This trend needs to continue.

Ide

GMoney said...

I feel like you're overreacting just a ton here, Drool. AV, Tristan, and Love are a perfectly cromulent inside presence. They lack defensively at the moment though.

Anonymous said...

Ide....never said that. Said they wouldn't sniff finals with current makeup. I'd say that's losing in 5 games or less in ECF.

--Drew