Tuesday, December 09, 2014

College Football Championship Week


"Ugggghhhh.  Not Saban again.....take me to St. V's."



Well, we've finally made it.  Everyone's last chance to show the playoff committee why they deserve to be in the four team playoff over Ohio.  And hopefully the end of Larry fucking Culpepper and those God awful Dr. Pepper commercials that make me want to Cobain myself.  G$ decided that Kosta Karageorge didn't have enough talent to overtake Cobaining.  The math adds up.  So...Let's talk champions.

Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma St.

I know this isn't a conference championship game but it needs to be repeated.  Bob Stoops fucking sucks at coaching.  I've heard Michigan fans on social media begging for Stoops in Ann Arbor.  Anyone who wants that can eat shit covered dicks.  More than one.

Kansas St. vs. Baylor

Good finish for the Bears.  In the end...it meant absolutely shit.  In other news, Bryce Petty is the fucking man.  His quote when asked about who the Big 12 champion should be is an instant classic.  "That's above my pay grade.  All I'm not paid to do is play."  Brilliant.  I fucking like this guy.  Something tells me the Big 12 will be getting a championship game very, very soon.  Like next year.

Oregon vs. Arizona

Nothing says revenge like slapping the balls right off of a team that tried ruining your season a few weeks ago.  This shit was never close and it shouldn't have been.  Oregon is the superior team.  Not that Mariota needed any Heisman invitation insurance but he showed the country exactly why he's on the top of everyone's list with that performance.  Unless Mariota completely implodes in the playoff, he's going to be the first QB picked in the draft next year.  Cakes begging for an Oregon loss on Twitter was equal parts pathetic and hilarious.  Classic Cakes.

Alabama vs. Missouri

Not.  Even.  Close.  Bud.  Anyone who watches college football knew this one was going to be as ugly as Hope Solo's swollen roast beef vagina.  Missouri wasn't even ranked 3 weeks ago and had been squirting by the Kentuckys and Tennessees of the world for most of the season.  Alabama looks pretty nasty and is most likely the team to beat.  Bear Bryant has to be lighting crosses in his grave knowing that a black QB could lead this team to a National Title this year.  Can't wait to hear from Phyllis from Mulga if ROLL DAMN SABECAKES can finish it off.  The "Cow Turd" over under is 8.5.

Ohio vs. Wisconsin

Gus Johnson trying to out-Gus himself is officially out of hand.  I thought his fucking heart and balls were going to simultaneously explode on that first CARRRRDAAAAALE Jones TD.  That's how Gus says it so he can prove how black he is.  And Gus just kept getting worse and worse as Ohio started to blow the doors off a really unprepared Wisconsin team.  I was surprised at Cardale Jones and how good he looked.  The big knock on him was he could throw it through a brick wall but not accurately but that wasn't the case Saturday.  Kid looked solid.  It also helped that Wisconsin's defense looked like two 80 year olds fucking in cement.  Seriously.  They looked slow as fuck.  I actually turned this off at half time since Wisconsin had zero shot pretty much from the end of the first quarter.  Nothing left to do after that but wait for Drew's cunty Tweet at me since his loser life revolves around sending sexually charged Tweets in my direction after Ohio wins.

Florida State vs. Georgia Tech

Can Jameis pull one more out of his ass?  He sure can!  I'll be honest...I don't watch a lot of Georgia Tech football.  It just doesn't move my needle.  But I did watch most of the game Saturday and that offense is fucking kooky.  It has to drive the camera man absolutely mad trying to follow that shit.  It has to be even more annoying for the defense.  Just tackling fucking ghosts.  Two things: How does triple option oriented GT not have one damn running back in the NFL?  And how in thee fuck did Demaryius Thomas become a first round pick playing in that offense?

So by the time this goes to print we'll already have our playoff locked in.  But I'll put in a TAEK anyway.  I think it goes 1. ROLL DAMN PHYLLIS 2. Oregon 3. TCU 4. Florida State.  And yes...Ohio made a case to get in by rolling what looked like Wisconsin's 4th string defense...but I don't think TCU can be bumped out after destroying Iowa St.  I wouldn't be totally surprised if Ohio finds a way to grease themselves into the playoff but I honestly think TCU should stay in.  Their only loss is to a top 10 team by 3 on the road and they beat 2 ranked teams.  Also, how do you penalize a team that just won by 52?  Doesn't seem right.

UPDATE:

Welp.  Ohio did it.  For a fan base that constantly whines about being treated unfairly, the committee sure did you guys a solid.  And that's not saying Ohio should not have been in the discussion.  They absolutely deserved to be, for sure.  Beating Wisconsin in that fashion with a 3rd string QB is incredibly impressive.  But TCU's resume is, AT WORST, as good as Ohio's.  So how do they drop 3 spots in the playoff after winning by 52 in their final game?  It makes no sense to me.  I just can't believe the committee puts that much stock into a conference championship game like some are saying.  This smells money motivated to me as there are OBVZ way more Ohio fans coast to coast.  It just feels like TCU was always just a place holder for a team that was going to make the NCAA more money during this playoff.

So.  Here it is guys!  Here is your chance to finally prove you're just as good as anyone in the SEC...you know, shit you guys have been mindlessly barking about for years.  You guys wanted Alabama well now you have them.  URBZ can feel his heart failing again just at the thought of going against the guy who knocked him out of football.  Should be fun to watch.  But....get Notre Dame'd and we reserve the right to not take you seriously for the rest of eternity.  Drew, you're up with a 9 paragraph comment that has a bunch of LOLs and LULZes in it with an occasional LMBO and you so dumb fo reals tossed in.  CAN'T WAIT!  That's all I've got.  It just feels right to end today with a FUCK YOU CAKES.

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a glorious day here at The Money Shot!!!!!!!

First of all, OBVZ being in Indy for that game was night and day compared to last year. That was one of the best performances that I've ever seen out of THE Ohio State Buckeyes. Just complete domination from start to finish. So awesome. Cardale looked solid (Michigan fans...just how much better is OSU's 3rd string QB than Shane Morris? LOLZ!)....EZE and his abs ran all over the place and the defense completely shut down Melvin Gordon. Unreal performance by the team and URBZ.

Then we get rewarded by making the playoffs and getting Bama. Now I OBVZ think the committee made the right call, but as I said for weeks.....all three schools had a case. The lesson remains the same as the days of the BCS....if you want in....don't fucking lose because then it's not really up to you anymore. Now Iceman....I know that you are slower than a Derrick Greene 40 yard dash....but, I don't know how you don't get yet that TCU did not get "penalized" for their win. They said all year that this was an overall body of work.

So, let's play make believe and say going into the last week they had points assigned to these three schools and that it was close....

TCU 900
FSU 880
OSU 875

What does beating the shit out of a 2 win team get you? Maybe like 30 points. FSU beat the #11 team in the nation and padded another win with zero losses...we'll give that 100....OSU beat the #13 59-0...that's probably like 100 points. Boom...later TCU. That is how they are not penalized....but, just got jumped.

So, bring on Bama vs. Cardale. We're in this thing a year earlier than planned, but it's an awesome opportunity and will pay big time dividends next year. I definitely think we've got a chance and I'm excited for all of the hoopla coming this way.

"7 or 8 wins" "0-3 on Big Ten Championships" #NeverForget

--Drew

Grumpy said...

So they replaced a bunch of old, white men with a different group of old, white men (and one black woman) and came up with the same result: Fuck the teams with smaller fan bases and less tradition..

ROLL TIDE!!!

Anonymous said...

Of course Grumpy is going to play that card.

Just saw G$ favorited the tweet of some high school football player that announced he committed to Miami. Times are a changin'.

--Drew

Jeff said...

Grump, Tyrone Willingham is on the committee, I'm sure based on recent protests he advised them not to leave out a team which has a black president and black athletic director. Not to mention the only black player to win the Heisman twice, IMO.

I digress, heading into Saturday night I figured the only way OSU would get in would be by doing the unthinkable and it happened. OSU being left would would've been disappointing, but I would've understood only if it was for Baylor, not TCU. Blame the BiG12 commish too for his bs stance and backing their "one true champion" Baylor. And Baylor, go play someone out of conference and don't hang your hat on a win at Buffalo unless it was against the Bills. Was it? I'm sure no one watched it. Their out of conference schedule the next 3 or 4 years is turrable.

Jeff said...

*not backing their one true champion

Anonymous said...

Yeah, the B12 is so dumb fo real. Baylor recently added some school called something like the World of Incarnate...to their OOC schedule in a few years. I think I read they don't have a Power Five team on it for the next 3 or 4 years. But, they TOTES should have been ahead of TCU.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Bob Bowlsby is definitely the biggest idiot ever right now. Granted, neither of his teams were probably going to get the nod but you have to pick one to back. You can't have your cake fart and eat them, too. Your own damn by-laws say that head to head is the first tiebreaker! One True Champion indeed.

I'm not going to piss and moan about Ohio getting in. Their A game is light years better than the two Texas teams. The problem is that we see too many B-/C+ performances. Let's see what old Can't Read can do when SabeCakes has a month to laugh at his film. Should be fun.

But it really isn't about body of work as much as it is "impress me when it matters at the end". Because if it was truly about the body then how did FSU move up this week?

I'll give you a strong take: bring back the BCS. We would have Bama vs. FSU for the title (no way that the computers pass on an undefeated team) with an ELITE Rose Bowl matchup of Oregon/Ohio. IMO if you lose a home game, you sort of don't have a great case to play for a title. BCS! BCS! BCS!

It was definitely a fun night that made me think that Gary Andersen must be a Bob Stoops protege. Seriously, Drool, apologize for defending that loser.

GMoney said...

Nothing like backing into the G$FL playoffs after losing three out of four. I really hope that Jimmy Graham, Demaryius, Randy Cobb, and Josh Gordon can continue to get me a combined THREE GODDAMN POINTS next week!

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at "bring back the BCS". We have a final four of Saban vs. Meyer and then 2013 Heisman vs. 2014 Heisman. These games are going to get insane ratings. It couldn't have worked out better.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Word around here is that the Big 12 is going to expand by adding 2 teams from some combination of BYU, Boise St., UC and Memphis. Supposedly Memphis is bringing money to the table.

Prime99 said...

Ape- just wondering if you have updated Power Rankings for the MSFL?

Putting Ohio in was the right choice. Hearing Big 12 fans and pundits make the opposite argument convinces me further that they are dumb. Good thing them Buckeyes didn't have to wait until 2015 to control their own destiny!

GMoney said...

There Drool Cow Turd goes again with his ratings talk! If this was always a popularity contest then why even have a committee? Look at the top ten and pick the four schools with the biggest/dumbest fan base.

Speaking of dumb, who else is pumped up for Lane Kiffin scheming against Chris Ass and FagNasty Fickell!!!

Look, it worked out OK and by the letter of the weirdo by-laws, these likely are the four best teams but the weekly reveal of the rankings was pure nonsense and actually makes me feel a bit of sympathy for TCU. They strung those fuckers out for weeks only to unload piping hot diarrhea on their head. Hilarious but whatever.

Larry Ward said...

The selection process needs to change. Ithey need to add a computer ranking, along side of the selection committe. Leaving it to human poll is stupid. People have agendas which affect the rankings.

,now with that being said did I want osu in? No but I am not mad about it. They did what they had to do to get in. They improved as the year along went along and ended it with a blow out win in the championship game.

I'm glad ND didn't win out after the FSU game because they would have been on the outside looking in. ND might have to join a conference with a championship game soon because same thing that happened to Baylor/TCU might happen to them.

Is it really about body of work or how you're playing at the end of the year because I feel osu has the worst loss of the three but it happened early and osu has improved drastically since then.

Lacey

Anonymous said...

Lacey=Larry. Fuck posting from phone

And fuck dut and the LFL

Prime99 said...

Fans of every fan base love to talk about their team would've gotten screwed IF their team was a one loss team. ND is the one program with the clout to have kept OSU out as a one loss team. I guess we will never know since ND collapsed like a rickety video tower on a windy day.

Anonymous said...

The Senator got some sweet justice from the White Knights last night. Iceman is up this week. How about Ape getting blown out of the playoffs in both leagues? That is neat.

Bring on Bama. I'm wait listed for 4 tickets, but hotels in Nawlins for New Years is impossible. Airbnb it is!

Ide

GMoney said...

I agree with Lacey!

Drool, I'm just a bit pumped that our two wins in the last two years progrum has the second best class in the MAC. FYI, PJ Fleck is building a monster at WMU as they are currently around 30 nationally. That is amazing. He's not ready for the big time yet but a year from now he would be a really good hire at Michigan. That guy is going to be a star.

T. Iceman said...

You could argue TCU and Baylor's overall body of work is just as good or better than Ohio's, Drew. Especially TCU. Ohio's one loss came from a piss poor VT team at home and TCU's came from a top 10 team on the road. But we're never going to agree on this. Like I said...I don't think it's insane that Ohio is in. It's was just shitty of the voters to put TCU at 3 when you knew damn well they were never going to allow a team like that in the playoff.

LOL, power rankings.

Anonymous said...

One of the big things that the committee looked at, and commended was that OSU didn't schedule any FCS teams. We lost to VT, shittily, because we weren't scheduling Samford. Both Big 12 teams were knocked for poor OOC scheduling.

OSU came out a couple years ago and said they would only schedule FBS teams from now on. That is sincerely a great idea, and it helped us (I know, it didn't mean this year, but still) get in over teams with similar resumes who schedule teams like Northwestern St.

Ide

GMoney said...

At the same time, Kent State wouldn't even beat St. Ignatius this year so whatever.

It's pointless now. I just found it terrific that morons like @TBone971 would go on and on about how we beat 9 bowl eligible teams yet Ohio's SOS was around 50. How does that compute???

I just fucking hate that STYLE POINTS are apparently a factor again.

Cakes said...

Buckeyes deserve to be in for so many reasons but the only way they were going to make it was a complete beat down. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. I'm still amazed at how bad they made Wisky look. That was supposed to be the #2 defense in the nation. It was probably the most impressive game of the Urbz era.

I'm excited to get a shot at Alabama. They are a tough team but not unbeatable like years past. They've played down to competition at times just like the Buckeyes. It's going to be an amazing game IMO.

Nibbles said...

"I just fucking hate that STYLE POINTS are apparently a factor again."

LOLZ! You are just as much at fault.

Go look at your comments following OSU barely pulling out a win against Penn State.

"...Remember how some people attacked me one week ago for my criticisms of HJ Barrett? Yeah, I look a lot smarter today. Anyone can run up the score at home against garbage opponents. Penn State is AWFUL and everyone knows this. That win on Saturday night was embarrassing. And that game was a horrible watch."

GMoney said...

You don't have to blow everyone out and hang 80 to look good, turd sandwich. That isn't similar at all. If you comment Nazis want to keep going back into the past and waste everyone's time then fine but this example makes no sense at all.

T. Iceman said...

It wouldn't matter what Bama looked like this year. They could be beating everyone by 50 and Cakes would still say, "I like our chances. They don't look unbeatable." He's like a robot programmed to say the same shit every year.

Nibbles said...

My point is, style points DO matter, especially in the last few weeks of the year.

There is nothing else you can go by, especially when a conference is stupid enough to not only fail to have a conference championship game, but to fail to declare an outright champion BY ITS OWN RULES.

Put yourself in Condi's shoes. What else do you have other than style points?

GMoney said...

Fake WMDs???

HOT TAKE!!!

I just wish the Committee was more clear with their qualifications. I mean, FSU was punished all year so much so that it was pretty clear that they were loathed by the committee. Yet they seemed to be the only team that wasn't allowed to play bad teams close. Goes both ways as the great PFTCommenter would say.

Anonymous said...

G$s comments after the Indiana game is a better example of his style points hypocrisy. But, I love the fact checking Nibbles!

Cakes....that's a good point. I think if Cardale just looked meh and we won like 20-17 that there is a good chance Baylor gets the nod. It was earned based on the STREMPH of that win.

Larry is Lacey from now...it is known.

G$....hard for me to take Fleck serious after that ROW YouTube from a year or two ago. Keep favoriting those tweets from high school boys tho!

--Drew

Nibbles said...

I have a huge problem with the committee ever letting TCU jump FSU. That makes zero sense to me.

The committee is clear on rewarding 1 loss teams coming out of strong conferences over a 0 loss team coming from a very bad conference. But, it won't put any 1 loss team coming from a mediocre conference over a 0 loss team.

Ask them all again and they would probably admit to ranking TCU at 3 a week ago as a total mistake and error.

Had they not done that, it'd probably make much more sense.

Anonymous said...

The problem with the committee is still no one knows what criteria they use. No logic and reason to any of it. Week to week ranking seem to not matter an appaernelty winnin all your games don't matter either. How pissed would any other fan base be if they were the defending champs and went undefeated but yet are still ranked only third?? The committee has an agenda and are bias.

How does TCU drop 3 spots when beating a team by 50 points? Like I said before. I'm okay with the four teams that got in but I have no idea how the committee got there

Larry

Anonymous said...

GMoney said...

"I just fucking hate that STYLE POINTS are apparently a factor again."

And...

"Style points matter in college football. They always have. Where have you been?"

We wouldn't have to be comment Nazi's if you kept your opinions the same rather than change them to throw off cheap shots at OSU.

OSU pulls out a nail biter. STYLE POINTS MATTER.

OSU blows out a top ranked team. ITS BULLSHIT STYLE POINTS MATTER.

Ide

Nibbles said...

Your troll job today is SCOUT TEAM, G$.

Look elsewhere today for scorching hot takes. You won't find them here.

Anonymous said...

Larry....I explained above how they got "dropped". The fact is that they didn't have many points left available to grab with a 2 win opponent left. FSU and OSU both played top 15 teams giving them quite a few more points than were available to TCU.

--Drew

GMoney said...

This is why the NFL is forever superior. You actually have ONE TRUE CHAMPION no offense to Bob Bowlsby, winning is all that matters, and Ohio Buckeye fans do not exist. Can't wait for your next hype video. Go back to yelling at Mark May.

WE WANT BAMA!!!

Still waiting on Drew's Stoops apology...

Anonymous said...

Oh must have missed the part where you were in the room with the selection committee. While it may be part of the reason it is still an assumption that, that was their reasoning. It could also be that they knew putting osu in over TCU/Baylor would cause the least amount of backlash. There was no possible way that they were going to keep TCU ahead of Baylor after everyone was bitching about head to head and after OSU's performance they couldn't justify bay,or jumping osu.

Larry

Anonymous said...

I'd be bitter at life if I were a Miami Redhawks fan too.

Ide

Prime99 said...

Lacey- if the committee is biased, that will only help ND in a future year. You should be happy about this.

Nibbles said...

Who the fuck is Larry? Some sort of pretend Lacey?

Anonymous said...

Fuck did I just give myself a nickname for the site?

Larry

Anonymous said...

Lacey is the greatest typo since Broxton Milner and Mario Jars.

Ide

T. Iceman said...

Might as well just own it, Lacey. This is how Cakes was born.

Anonymous said...

I feel like George costanza right except no way would want to be called t-bone because he sucks.

Lacey

GMoney said...

Broxton Milner was not a typo.

You Ohio losers should go for a car ride with Cam Newton.

Prime99 said...

Tim Tenor is still the greatest, imo.

GMoney said...

This is from before last year's Big Ten Championship for you quoters out there:

"This Saturday night will be that first time that MSU has given up 35...and it won't be the first Buckeye loss of the Urban Era. Bring on the Noles. Ohio State 38 MSU 21"--Drew, LOLOLOZLZZZ LMBO

"This one will come down to the first one to fuck up. I think it will be MSU."--Nibbles, I mean has this guy ever watched a football game???

"Ape live tweeting the World Cup draw. Yes it's as bad as it sounds. Bucks roll 38-20."--Damman, just a reminder that Ape has always sucked

"I heard two different hacks pick MSU today on the radio. The hate is PALPABLE. If there was any danger of overlooking this title game tomorrow, it has evaporated with the typical Buckeye bashing that's gone on in the media this week."--Cakes

See. Us H8RZ can do it, too. Give it a rest on the retro-TAEK bashing. No one should be afraid to bring it strong. No one is batting .1000. I'm hitting like .995 though. Stop being awful basically.

T. Iceman said...

G$ says open wide and take all of this ginger dick.

GMoney said...

OMG...Bowlsby said that he would have voted TCU over Baylor. Seriously, how has the conference not fired this fucking guy yet???

Anonymous said...

Takes aren't the same as predictions, shit for brains. You are veering towards Iceman territory on your trolling game.

However, Ape tweeting World Cup draws will forever be gay.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Johnny "midget" Manziel to start Sunday

GMoney said...

Predictions absolutely are takes. When you say "my lock of the millenium is Raiders Football because they are way better than Roger Federer", that is a TAKE. It may not be a TAEK though.

I stand by my GIVE IT A REST. It adds nothing to this great site and the writers here that continually put out great content and stand by their work. If you would like to contribute one day per week and hedge on everything without taking any stand at all, apply within.

GMoney said...

And yes, the World Cup is forever homosexual. We can all agree on that.

T. Iceman said...

How is a prediction different from a take? You know what? Forget I asked. I'm not interested in your 5,000 word essay on how you think those are different things.

Takes and predictions are the same.

GMoney said...

Seeing some "Jay Gruden to Michigan" rumors. Well that wouldn't be the worst thing for me. Michigan should do this today so we can hire our next idiot.

Anonymous said...

hot take

An opinion based on simplistic moralizing rather than actual thought.

prediction

a thing predicted; a forecast.

Under 5000 words. In other news, the definition for 'hot take' is a real thing.

If you guys want us to GIVE IT A REST, then stop badgering all the OSU fans consistently. For as fanatical as you all call us, the non OSU fans on this board are so much fucking worse. If we win, here comes Iceman with the Tuesday morning dress down on how bad our team didn't win. If we lose (that one game), here he comes with bandwagon in tow claiming a max of 8 games won and future conference championships lost. All we have to do is defend ourselves for winning? Heh, yeah, we are the nutjobs.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Accountability breeds smart talk...not terrible trolling....which means accountability adds plenty to this site. I've been wrong plenty of times...just gotta own it. Don't be afraid of owning your mistakes......except and potential kids produced by Ide....abort those mistakes.

--Drew

T. Iceman said...

"f we lose (that one game), here he comes with bandwagon in tow claiming a max of 8 games won and future conference championships lost."

Nah. I'll probably just go after you and Drew for being dick lickers. Mainly Drew.

Anonymous said...

Plan B is the biggest rip off. But $55 at your local pharmacy is better than fathering a kid in NYC.

Ide

GMoney said...

You can not define a hot take. But you will know it when you see it.