Even the most ardent homer of Jim Delaney's dumpster conference (also known as The Big Ten) has to admit that it is boring. Literally nothing happens outside of bad games, failed expectations, poor hand-shaking skills, and total embarrassment. Sorry, Bo Pelini, but there are only two relevant programs in 2014 and they just so happen to take the field tomorrow up in Mateen Cleaves' old stomping grounds. You have my word as a gentleman that this is the first and last time that you need to concern yourself with Big Ten Football this season.
One loss Ohio Buckeyes will face one loss Sparty to see who will be the fifth team in a four horse playoff race. It should be a real blast. Let's hop back in time about 11 months to the greatest day of everyone's lives: the 2013 Big Ten Championship Game in Indy. Oh what a time to be alive. The fraud Buckeyes took their 4,005 game winning streak over their steady stream of cream puffs up against Mark Dantonio's ruff ryders (I assume that he is a big DMX fan). Big Pimpin' G$ played a massive role in this outcome as well what with his bleeding scarlet and gray all over the Bier Stube. It was a night that few will forget as an American hero stepped behind enemy lines to bring down our greatest enemy. I would do it again, too. Just not tomorrow.
There's no reason for me to lie here: I've only watched one and a half Ohio games this season and maybe half of a Michigan State contest. I don't know anything about these teams except that a lot of people want to pump up Ohio for what they've done against the Green Meadows Conference and ignore the embarrassing performances against the NWOAL. Well, now it seems like you've upgraded to the NLL for one week. Are you prepared? That is the big question that no one will be able to answer until the game starts.
I wasn't impressed at all with how they played at Penn State. New flush: Sparty is much better in all phases. At least I assume that they are. I wouldn't know. A lot of mock drafts have Connor Cook going in the first round next year which seems crazy to me. Anyway, this being the Big Ten's last chance to showcase borderline competent football this year, I would expect to see a pretty good game tomorrow night. So good, in FACT, that I would like to ANNOUNCE A CONTEST.
Oh yeah, with no MACtion this weekend and thus no Glory Hole to predict (now at 8-5 on the year!), I need to spice up Saturday somehow. A giveaway seems like a good idea. With the holidays (or CHRISTmas to some) coming up, it's not too early to think about gifts for those who can still stand your presence. What better way to listen to all of your Total Recall tracks than with a new pair of Relay headphones from the fine folks over at Sol Republic? Win today's contest and you will take home one of these bad boys. Not a bad haul at all for a simple prediction, eh? Here is how you win:
Ohio Buckeyes @ Michigan State Spartans -3.5. You pick the winner ATS in the comments. Once that is done, you answer the question "How many PASSING yards will JT Barrett have in that game". The correct pick with the closest passing yards (in case of a tie, Price Is Right rules apply) warrants some new and ELITE ear buds that will hopefully get your ass into the gym a little more often. Sol Republic doesn't have to reward us here so give them a follow on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook @SOLREPUBLIC. Thank you and God bless. I believe that Iceman and Seal have won these in the past so you know that it isn't hard.
I actually think that Ohio Buckeyes are going to win tomorrow. When was the last time that Urb lost to the same team in consecutive years? I'm sure that it's happened before but I'll be damned if I look into it. I'll act like I'm into this one for awhile but I know deep down that I will be watching more of the Jackets and Roll Tide/Les Miles. It's all that this conference deserves. Good luck in the game and the contest and if you happen to lose, Papa John's makes for an excellent consolation prize, bruh!