|RED STATE, MOTHER FUCKER! *Brought to you by LS|
GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN', that's always been my motto. Okay, that's not really true. It's more like, "Pay a bunch of money for your education knowing that you won't make shit and die angry." Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. But at some point you weigh the frustration and stress and how you are being compensated....and you consider something different. Something that will make you filthy rich because nobody can be sad on a Sea-doo, right? Well here are the five "Get Rich Quick" schemes that I have floating around in my head right now.
1. Doggy Daycare. I briefly mentioned this back in July in my post about my Dad's health situation(UPDATE: Big Ace is doing well. Some important appointments coming up in the next month, but he has slowly been getting better over the last two months). But I recently took the next step in this idea and reached out to a couple national brands about franchising opportunities in the Central Ohio area. And HOLY FUCKING CHRIST does it take money to make money...because, obvs.
The initial investment in a Camp Bow Wow franchise ranges from $339,600 to $708,000 depending upon the size of your Camp, the required construction/remodel costs and the area of the country.
You will need a minimum of $150,000 cash available as a down payment, and a minimum net worth of $500,000 to obtain SBA financing. Without meeting these financial targets, it will be difficult to proceed with the Camp Bow Wow franchise opportunity due to the difficult lending environment.
|That escalated quickly.|
And that isn't the only place that I have reached out to, that's just the most outrageously expensive option out there. I truly do think this is a winning idea in Columbus. There's a lot of disposable income and couples without children who treat their dogs like they gave birth to them. My kind of people. Also a lot of really shitty doggy daycares that are somehow attracting enough clientele to stay open. Columbus seems like a great market.
2. Food/Travel Network Show: This probably shouldn't be #2 anymore as the market is ridiculously oversaturated, but yet somehow still producing awful television. Back when the foodie revolution was just beginning, me and my OTHER friends had the grand idea of pitching a show, which I ingeniously named Educated Eats, that would go around to different college towns and enjoy the local eateries. And then Man vs. Food took the world by storm. I missed my calling.
3. Mow to Own Empire: The city of Columbus started a new initiative a couple years back where neighbors and non-profits could work towards owning abandoned houses and land by performing general maintenance and the upkeep on the property. This is clearly a hood-centric operation, as you probably aren't going to find this opportunity in New Albany, and it will take some investment as priority goes to neighbors, but who hasn't dreamed about being a slum lord? We should all get our life aspirations from The Super.
4. College Planning Consultant Service: In the brief time I spent counseling at the high school level, it became apparent to me the pressure that families are feeling to ensure that their children are getting the best shot at a top college education, as well as the most aid possible. High stakes testing, extracurricular activities, collegiate resumes, and application essays are just a fraction of what goes into getting into an ELITE university and/or program. More and more parents are seeing the value in investing in a consultant because of the enormous pricetag a college education comes with.
5. Something with old people: I don't know exactly what direction to go with this, but I know there is money there. Old people are only going to live to be even older. Life expectancy will continue to rise and somebody has to be there to provide services. I think that an elderly adult daycare would be a real blast. Get a whole bunch of old folks together, throw in some unlimited prune juice, adult diapers, and Elvis, and just sit back and watch shit get weird. Old people are the best.
By reading this post you have agreed to give me 10% of all gross income if you start a business in any of these areas. But what are some of the Money Shot Millionaire ideas that are out there? Every single one of us has thought about it. Some of us, like me, think about it daily. I know there are some great ideas out there. Let's all quit our jobs today and get rich. Or bankrupt.