Thursday, October 23, 2014

Where Should Braxton Miller Suck Dick Next Year?

This one is really going to test your work filter

Let me start out this post by stating what I have always stated, BRAXTON MILLER IS OVERRATED AS....RAW DENIM....or something. But he's overrated as fuck and isn't a good quarterback. Great afflete. Shit quarterback. I have always felt this way. So let's go back to August 20th, when G$ introduced us all to the new leader of Fuckeyes.

Here was my immediate reaction to Braxton going out;
"I see 2-4 losses for the Buckeyes this year. Barrett is going to lose them a couple games this year that they wouldn't have lost with Brax. But I think the Fuckeyes have a ton of question marks on the team outside of QB anyways. 
Also Braxton is the most OVERRATED 2 time B1G player of the year ever. I've never been a big fan of him as a QB, as I was squarely on #TeamSmoothJazz, so I can see Barrett being a better passer on the intermediate throws that Brax was typically awful at. But for this year that's the only upgrade I can see with Barrett> Brax. 
I do think Barrett will come along nicely as the season goes, as long as his O-line allows him to(huge ?). And if he does and I'm a Fuckeye fan I don't want Brax back, other than to be some Wildcat/Weapon type of player. He's just not that good of a QB."
That looks like a pretty #MEASURED and accurate statement. Here is Drew's response;
"LOLZ @ not wanting Braxton back as a QB. I can't believe someone wouldn't think he doesn't make them a better team. If he would have played this year, he would have basically owned the OSU football record books at the end of the season. What a terrible player."
Let's also note this was after he dropped a JT Barrett is ELITE because of military family bomb. Fuck Drew is what I'm saying.

I have been very impressed with Barrett, unlike some other HATERZ around here. I think he is developing nicely as the season progresses, regardless of the defenses he has faced, and that will continue the rest of the year. He still has a big ol' twat for an arm, any throw over 40 yards is an absolute duck, but he has poise and is making plays when they are needed without making mistakes. And I don't think what he does against Sparty is all that relevant because he's going to continue to develop and he's already better than Braxton. I think he is going to be a really good/great QB for the Fuckeyes and I hate that, but I will deal with that some other Saturday. Shutting him down after this year to bring back Braxton would be a Brady Hoke level of fat fucking ruhtard who knows nothing about football. I don't think Urbz is that stupid. You all know where this is going, Braxton has gots to go.

So here is how I see Braxton's options for next year:

Go back to the Fuckeyes. I don't see this happening at all unless my prediction above comes to fruition....which is totes a possibility because ME>U. It's also possible for the reasons brought up by G$ back in August;
"It's a torn labrum, right? Let's not just assume that Prince Twat is going to come back the same or better. He might show up to Spring Ball throwing the rock like Cakes AKA a faggot OBVZ"
The Fuckeyes, with Barrett at the helm, may offer Braxton the best opportunity for him showcase his talent as a pure AFFLETE. I have never debated his ability to make plays. And I think Urbz could do some real damage if he opened up the playbook to use Braxton athletic ability to its' full potential. I think this is the least likely of situations, and I don't think there is a chance that Braxton comes back to the Fuckeyes in any other role than this(barring a Barrett injury).

Graduate Transfer. This is assuming that Braxton's vaginal shoulder can fully heal, otherwise no other team is taking a chance on him. But if Braxton Miller really thinks that he can be a quarterback at the next level--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--then he is going to have to go elsewhere to prove that. I'm not totally sure where he would land as I'm not going to review every teams QB depth right now, but I'll throw some out that make sense to me. Michigan!!! This would be the ultimate troll job and depending on who Michigan hires(Dan Mullen) I think it could work as a stopgap. Florida!!! If Dan Mullen ends up in Gainesville like I suspect he will, Miller seems like a perfect fit for one year while Mullen finds his QB of the future on the recruiting trail. Oregon!!! I'm not sure if this is realistic because I feel like Oregon's system is too complex for somebody to just show up and start, but I think there is room for somebody to step in after Mariota. There are obvs going to be other options out there for a player of his caliber, no matter how OVERRATED he is, but those three schools would be interesting potential destinations.

Go Pro Bro. It might just be time for Braxton to take his talents to the NFL...for two years until only the CFL will accept him. Again, he would be entering the NFL Draft as an afflete because he doesn't have the QB skills to make it in the NFL and he hasn't shown the skills to be a WR or the durability to be a RB. Denard Robinson was drafted at the beginning of the 5th round. Braxton Miller does not have the agility nor the straight line speed of Denard, but is a better QB prospect(not saying much) so it's hard for me to imagine Miller as anything more than a 5-7 round draft pick. But with the durability issues I don't know if he should chance another year as an amateur when he is pretty much guaranteed to make a roster based on potential alone. He's not in a position to pass up 500k when his shoulder is one bad throw away from being ruined forever.

Some might feel that this discussion is premature, as Drew said in the comments Tuesday, but I don't think so. Barrett has shown his worth already and he's every bit the quarterback Braxton was...and then some. I don't care what kind of ink Braxton has on is body, he needs to think about what's best for his future...and that's leaving the Fuckeyes behind, one way or the other.

What I was trying to say in this post is that I think Ide said it best back in August;
"Iceman is the type of guy who waves goodbye to his friends."

Good say, sirs. I SAID GOOD DAY.
video

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ape...first of all, I dig your usage of past quotes to ensure honesty. Big ups to you.

I don't think Braxton is going anywhere. As noted...he really has no chance to go to the NFL due to throwing ability/not being able to work out for NFL teams due to still rehabbing.....and finishing his career in Columbus is way better of an idea for his long term future than being a Gator for a year. Plus, you know damn well Urbz will sell him on some sort of idea to stay.

So, that leaves him and Barrett together and I'm really not sure what the hell they should do in that situation. I did say that I don't even want to think about it until after the MSU game. But, you are right that that really shouldn't change much. I guess right now I'd still envision them of having packages for Braxton at QB....but, perhaps turn him into some sort of H-Back as well. I mean just let him in loose in a variety of roles until he inevitably hurts himself. But, Barrett has proven to be better than I anticipated...and with the team being absolutely LOADED next year...he should probably be the one moving the chains. Oh, how I can't wait for an entire off-season of Columbus discussing this situation....not so much.

--Drew

GMoney said...

A lot of quoting indeed. What a waste of time!

Teams that have two QBs are always a fucking mess. Roll with your guy and gently nudge the other one out of town.

I could see him doing a one year pro tryout at another school. It won't be in the Big Ten even though WE ON and Wisconsin would be solid fits because he would turn into a villain here then. If he wants to play in the NFL, maybe you go to Ohio U or something and wing it 35 times per game to show people what you have? I don't know.

Yawn...you talk about being LOADED every year.

GMoney said...

By the way, Drool, what are we betting on in the G$FL this year? Our big game is this week.

Nibbles said...

The wishful thinking side of me would like for Braxton to come back and be willing to platoon or be a utility type player.

Plus, him playing roles other than QB would do himself a tremendous service. Taking stress off of the throwing shoulder, plus showing scouts his abilities to perform in the open field will increase his stock value the most.

The graduate transfer rule was created for situations like this, unfortunately. Braxton will be gone next year, only because he has his mind made up that he's going to be a QB in the League.

Anonymous said...

G$....OSU will be preseason top 3 next year as almost everyone comes back. Definitely Meyer's most LOADED OSU team.

I thought our bet was whomever finishes better in the regular season standings has to buy two Jackets tickets to a weeknight game for a bro date...no?

Nibbles....I'll be very surprised if Braxton is anywhere but Columbus next year. He wouldn't get drafted and Meyer will keep him.

--Drew

GMoney said...

OK, I remember you saying that the only time that the Wings were in town was in November but I'm fine with random night flag pole holding against a non-Wings team.

Jeff Heuermann doesn't come back. Checkmate.

I'll worry about 2015 preseason rankings never.

Mr. Ace said...

I don't know this to be fact, but I view Braxton as a bull-headed individual who believes he can play QB at any level...as most athletes at that level are. I don't see him taking some sort of reduced role just because it's better for his future in Columbus. I doubt that has even crossed his mind. That's why I think he is gone one way or the other. It would take quite the sales pitch from Urbz to get him to stay.

If he goes the Grad Transfer route then I see him going Power 5. There are too many teams out there that would want him for him to go to some MAC/WAC level program...although I would totes take him at Toledo.

My quote game is #ELITE.

I am also 3-0 while #CARRYINIT live. Feel free to invite me if you want guaransheed victories.

GMoney said...

I'm going next Friday. You are more than welcome to come with and hold my baby for 2.5 hours.

I see it the opposite though. Of course most Big 5 programs with QB questions would want him, but they would also ask him to do what he has always done AKA run and sometimes throw. If his goal is to play on Sundays (LOL) then he should probably go somewhere that will allow him to be a pocket passer and not his usual game of streetball.

Urban won't let him leave! Glad to know that Captain Dildo is holding hostages.

GMoney said...

Pffffffft clearly an irrelevant topic. No one cares about Broxton Milner and his immediate future of picking up your garbage.

Prime99 said...

I'm at jury duty, and it is better than talking about Milner. Where is Cakes for a full on descriptive take on Braxton's thighs?

Anonymous said...

Cakes has been M.I.A this week. It's a shame too because we have had some excellent Buckeye bashing/defending going on. It's right up in his alley.

My prediction is that Braxton has played his last game in a Buckeye uniform. Not sure what he is going to do next year, but whatever it is it won't be in Columbus.

-Damman

T. Iceman said...

Isn't the phrase if you have 2 quarterbacks you have no quarterbacks? I think Miller coming back is the worst thing that could happen for the Buckeyes. Because if he comes back he's the starting QB for this team. And I'm sure Barrett will say and do all the right things because military...but you know buried in his skull is, "Why the fuck am I not playing after what I did last year?". Psyche is a big thing in sports and I'm not sure if you want to be fucking with your QB of the future's psyche like that.

And I stand by my prediction of Miller not getting drafted even though you losers tried to LOL me out of the building. I really don't think it happens. There are guys just as talented with way fewer question marks.

"We're loaded with talent next year"
This has been Cakes battle cry for the large part of the last 8 years. I think every Buckeye fan has this tattooed on their body somewhere.

Mr. Ace said...

I can totes see Cakes with a tramp stamp of that quote.

GMoney said...

"Cakes Battle Cry" sounds like a future post. FEED THE CROW will be near the top as will "Wow".

Prime99 said...

Just a post quoting Cakes' tweets and the commenters have to figure out what he is referencing.

"Wow"

Cakes thinking about Tito Francona creaming on his chest hair.

Nailed it!

Anonymous said...

"Iceman's asshole DOES taste like my dogs red rocket!"

Ide

GMoney said...

Wow. The trade offer I just got from Nibbles in the MSFL was hilarious.

Prime99 said...

I'm interested. What was it, G$?

GMoney said...

I probably could have/should have mentioned that, no?

He wanted Doug Martin and Vern Davis for Pierre Thomas and Jordan Reed.

Granted, Douglas and Vernon haven't produced like many thought but Pee-air and One Game Reed wouldn't be enough for me to give up FEED THE CROW, bro.

Grumpy said...

Damman nailed Ole Miss, so if he says Braxton won't be in Columbus next year, I'd book it.

GMoney said...

Damman nailed Ole Miss

"She must weigh a thousand pounds"--Iceman, probably