|Watch out for invisible Randy Orton, Tubs!|
Percy Harvin - When news of his trade to the Jets broke on Friday evening, I was shocked. Why would Seattle do this? It's not like they are loaded with proven playmakers on the outside. But then you realize that Harvin has done so very little in two years there and sounds like a disaster to deal with. So you dump his ass. And you trade him to the biggest joke/circus of a franchise in the NFL. Oh yeah, I'm sure that Rex and Marty will use Harvin well. LOL! This is just another reminder that, outside of the Tens, Urban Meyer recruited nothing but human filth at Florida. No one wants anything to do with any of his old players. FACT.
Or Not - Maybe Harvin wasn't the problem? Maybe it is the dreaded "disease of more" that shithead Pat Riley describes as the #1 killer of champions trying to repeat. Because when you lose to the Rams, you pretty much suck. Rusty Dubs was fantastic to bring them back but that defense just isn't that great for whatever reason. And, of course, they are given a shot at the end when Tre Mason fumbles but Richard Sherman fucks up the recovery. 3-3. NOT GOOD.
Luke Kuechly - He's white and from Ohio so everyone loves him but he threw a 'bow at a referee and got kicked out. I don't blame him. They were getting slaughtered. By the way, the Packers are fantastic now that they figured shit out. Just straight up killing suckas ever since the gay QB reminded us all to relax.
Steven Jackson - Just cut this guy already. You've got two RBs that deserve more touches for a tenth of the price. The Falcons are awful. Joe Flacco? Still ELITE.
Brian Hoyer - Fucking sucks. Might want to pump the brakes on those contract extension demands, bruh, you penis-looking garbage QB. Typical Browns. Getting their hopes up that they may actually challenge for the North and then get destroyed by a winless London team.
FEED THE LACES - Denard fucking Robinson, the STARTING RUNNING BACK for the Jags, ran for 127 yards. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's horrendous. FUCK YOU, CAKES!
The entire Bengals organization - Jesus Christ, AJ Green can't be THAT important. You will be hard pressed to find a worse performance than what the Bengals did yesterday.
CJ Spiller and Fred Jackson - Both died on the field yesterday but that doesn't matter when you have The Kyle Orton Express running trains on The Torg! BILLS! Did you see what Sammy Watkins did yesterday, Ray Farmer??? It's going to be hilarious to see people scramble to pick up Bryce Brown (not even active yesterday) off the waiver wire this coming week.
Jay Catler at home - I don't get it. The Bears are a terrible home team. Truly the icing on the shit cake that was Larry's weekend as a football fan. Apparently, Brandon Marshall's crazy ass called out The Cat after the game. Yeah, I'm sure that that will help.
Drew Brees - He was having the best game he has had all season until the last few minutes when he single-handedly lost that game for the Saints. I would say that the season is over for NO but the South is SO BAD. Are the Lions the worst 5-2 team ever? I would rather be the worst 5-2 team than the best 2-5 so I guess it doesn't matter. At least they didn't miss any field goals. PROGRESS!
Kirk Cousins - Jesus was he bad in the first half. So pathetic that it was a really easy call to go with Colt McCoy. I like Kirk but he is a back-up. Period. I wanted to believe otherwise but it just isn't in the cards. He will be in the league for a decade but the notion that he could be trade bait is foolish and I was the last person to know it. BUT WE WON! Colt McCoy for Heisman! Skins are on Monday Night Football again next week (WHY! WTF!) in Dallas and it sounds like RG3 is another week away so I would roll with Colt. HE SICK. 2-5!
Poetic Justice - If you recall, I attacked Brian Orakpo pretty ELITE-like on Friday. He left the game yesterday with a possible torn tit (again). This is not my fault.
Kansas City's WRs - Are awful. They tried all that they could to piss away that nice win. I've had about enough of Dwayne Bowe. Now that Lee Evans is out of the league, I would like to nominate Bowe as the new Lee Evans. Just a rotten player that many people still think is good. Not a good loss for my Bolts but maybe the Chiefs aren't that bad. Chargers/Broncos on Thursday...I LIKE.
Tony Sparano - What is their left to bury? It might be time to dig up Al Davis and then re-bury him.
Larry Donnell - I should have traded you when I had the chance and now I'm two weeks away from cutting you. Two fumbles isn't going to sit well with your rat-faced asshole head coach, bro. Bonus worst to Odell Beckham Jr for his stupid dances when his team is getting killed. This is the kind of shithead that PFTCommenter hates (and rightfully so). The fucking Cowboys are 6-1 with the Skins up next. UGH.
FANTASY! - OK, so I easily vanquished Iceman again in the MSFL. Barring a miracle night from Crabtree, I will beat -Rex in the LFL. I will likely defeat -Rex again in the G$FL. AND I will probably roll in my OTHER LEAGUE. Holy shit! I whine about my luck and here comes a 4-0 week! ELITE! ME HEART FANTASY FOOTBALL AGAIN!
That will do it for me today. I'm looking forward to watching JJ Watt destroy no less than 40 Steelers tonight. He's going to bury whoever the RT is. You may want to check in with this site tomorrow as the day will be highlighted by Notre Dame fans trying to tell us how rules do not apply to them and others will try to convince us that they are playoff material because they keep pounding garbage. Get ready, sane people, because you will have a real hoot.