Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Thing That I Love Has Become Lame

We've been cranking out posts here for awhile now and one thing that has always been certain is my unequivocal love for the fantasy football lifestyle.  I have written about it way too much.  Until the last few years, it has always been nothing but bluster.  Yet I hit a groove and became the only person you know that has won a title in every league that he competes in (minimum of four leagues, bruh).  Throughout the month of August, we even have a weekly Fantasy Football Friday feature to get everyone's mind sharp heading into draft season.

I've also been very open and honest about this season being the season from Hell for ol' G$.  Nothing is going right.  The great thing about fantasy sports is that it can ease the pain of a God awful real team like the Washington Navajo Nation.  I can't even get THAT right this year.  This has been a TERRIBLE season.  Maybe it's the constant losses and poor management decisions but I have come to a conclusion...

Fantasy Football has jumped the shark.  I might even be able to convince myself that it is OVERRATED.  I'm not there yet, mind you, but I'm getting there.  Allow me to explain why.

*Everyone plays it now.  Even women!  The nerve of them!  Nothing is cool when everyone does it.
*People don't seem to get that no one cares about your team or bad beats or whatever if they aren't in your league.  We can talk about things here because there is a league founded from the dark hellscape of the comment section.  But as soon as you mention your OTHER LEAGUE, I'm fucking out.  Everyone seems to understand that no one wants to hear about your teams, but they keep talking anyway.
*The woman that sits next to me at work is in a league for the first time with her husband and friends.  It's kind of adorbs to see someone take a free league so seriously.  What isn't cool is that she wants roster advice and waiver suggestions EVERY DAY.  Plus, I'm kind of jealous of her roster.
*I'm learning this the hard way but one major injury or suspension and the shit is over.  It doesn't matter how many minor trades that you pull off (and boy have I tried).  If your stud fucks you, then you are FUCKED.  It is impossible to get unfucked.
*That said, Fantasy Football is way more luck than skill.  I hate to admit this because I like consider myself an expert but it's true.  If you can avoid the IR then that is the most important trait for your roster.  I won the MSFL because of Peyton last year.  I did almost nothing but slot him in at QB for 15 weeks.  It was the easiest thing that I've ever done.  When you win something, you like to feel that you've earned it.  I did not earn that title.  I happily accept it though as well as the homemade Second Mile t-shirt that came with it.
*Speaking of experts, everyone fucking considers themselves to be one now.  This is maddening to me.  Hell, 97.1 has a FF expert (Tito!) and he has his own radio show and rankings.  Why?  Why are their rankings at all?  This is a waste of time and--news flush--these losers can't predict the future so why are you buying into their rankings at all?  You shouldn't need Akbar the NFL Network Terrorist to yell at you that you should play all players going against the Jags.
*I will say that The League is getting better.  Others may disagree and a lot of the characters are d-bags, but I still find it to be a solid situational comedy (or "sitcom")
*I also like Fantasy Football Now on ESPN2.  They don't fuck around.  You get injury updates and possible waiver guys.  That's all I need.  Now stop showing me matchups from the ESPN NFL League.  I do not care if Ed Werder stuck it to Mort last week.
*Holy shit is this market over-saturated.  I was walking the dog and baby on Sunday evening and all I wanted was to listen to NFL updates.  Instead I got some weird fantasy football show on ESPN Radio in which Randy "Quee Quee" Scott (trashiest looking SportsCenter anchor ever) was wondering if he could trade Larry Fitzgerald next week since he finally scored.  This went more than one segment.  Tell me about the games being played.  Again, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR FANTASY TEAM.  Quee Quee also admitted to being a Raiders fan but picked the Chargers in his survivor pool so he was rooting against his team.  These were topics going on instead of discussing anything about the very good Cowboys/Seahawks game.

It's just too much.  Like I said, having a bad season isn't helping but I feel like networks are focusing more on fantasy stats than the actual games being played.  And that is stupid.  I'm never going to quit playing but I am going to starting distancing myself from FF for the rest of the season.  Looking at my rosters, this should not be hard.  Maybe I can focus more on point spreads instead.  I don't know, we'll think of something.  Is this loser talk?  OH YEAH!  Do I give a fuck?  Absolutely not.  But I've always said that I would rather the Redskins be consistently good then for me to win anything in fantasy.  I stand by that.  My team will forever fail me though.

Either way, I am not ashamed to announce that fantasy baseball is the far superior game.  It actually takes skill and no fucking idiots are ever going to win a title in that.  So slow your roll, Fantasy Football, I will be back but I would prefer it if you were a lot less annoying.  ACleanPairOfShorts is still going to win the G$FL because we have a great name and logo.  FUCK YOU, CAKES!

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you join the side that I've been preaching here for years....and why I never comment on the fantasy football Friday previews that start in like June.

*Fantasy Baseball and Fantasy Basketball absolutely shit all over football. The first two are an absolute daily grind...whereas in football it's 99% your draft...then you just slot people in and out all Fall. Takes little to no effort....fuck...the fact we are only allowed 10 moves all year in the G$FL just proves this.

*People talking about their fantasy football teams is indeed terrible...no wonder Ide likes to do it so much.

*The fact that you can actually have a good team and have a lot of points overall....but catch an unlucky slate of opponents that score a ton against you each week is stupid.

*In short....fantasy football is largely for lazy bums and children...which is why you see women gravitating toward it. It takes little to no effort. If you want to be respected and join the adult table....then take up baseball and basketball.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

I knew you would see the light.

Mr. Ace said...

This post has hipster douche who can't find a job so says he's revolting against the system all over it. Buck up, pusscake. Bring your lunch pail next year.

Jeff said...

You have many valid points like me being the greatest since Ive won your fantasy baseball league, but it still remains that attention spans are always shortening and worrying about setting a roster one day a week and watching outcomes one day a week(ish) is much easier and what the majority of fantasy players prefer. G$, you actually structure your fantasy baseball league similar to football with weekly matchups.

Fantasy football is king and always will be because it's so easy to do and you can be lucky rather than good.

I would argue that only bums want to pay THAT much attention to the long and largely meaningless regular seasons of baseball and basketball.

GMoney said...

It's not the attention span that is the kicker. It is the grind. Dealing with slumps and shit and debating whether a two start Sonny Gray week is better than a one start Yu Darvish. It requires more thought.

I can see the hipster angle here but it's more that I have no rainbow this year from the monsoon of the 2014 football season as in year's past.

My lunch pail goes with me everywhere. Faggot.

The point I'm trying to make isn't that FF is bad. Hell, it's great and it brings in more and more fans every season that ignore the destructive nature of the NFL, but everyone with a camera and a mic want to talk about it and it's too much. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I prefer actual football talk and if that means more Terry Bradshaw buttfucking the script for halftime highlights then so be it.

GMoney said...

And let me throw this out there...

I like Matthew Berry. I read Matthew Berry. I set my own lineup using my own brain but in the event of a tie, I may consult Berry's thoughts. He is the ONLY "expert" that I use. Everyone else is just noise. Especially Akbar the NFL Network Terrorist.

Tough loss for the CBJ last night. Great game though. I blame Daniel. That loser has no idea how to hold a flagpole that isn't made out of rock hard black skin.

Nibbles said...

If I had to take a guess, you enjoy umping Little League baseball games more than playing FF. Probably because it is REAL, requires skill, and you have an actual impact on reality.

That's the same reason I got into coaching. FF is nothing more than a distraction on Wednesdays (Waiver Wire) and Sundays. As you said, requires basic understanding of good players versus bad. The rest is luck and timing. Hell, whoever has the Week 1 positioning on Waiver Wire is purely chance and can make a hell of a difference.

GMoney said...

Don't ever call me a Little League umpire again, jerk.

Anonymous said...

Woah there kids. Fantasy baseball is fucking stupid. Skill required? I got to the championship my first year and playoffs the next two. I KNOW SHIT ABOUT BASEBALL. Tell me how hard and skillful it is, please. Play the numbers game, which I was apparently able to do with ZERO knowledge, and you'll be fine. That said, I'm still sal

Upkeep? Yeah, that's what I want to do with my daily grind; hop on Yahoo! and tinker with pitching rotations. If I want that kind of maintenance, I'd start a fantasy draft/season on Madden (ELITE if you have the time).

I also agree that there is a large amount of luck in FF to an extent. But a solid amount of skill. Peyton aside, people can argue all day (/wave iceboy) about gunning for RB's over WR's. Ape has been trading like a sleazy pawn shop owner, who rapes boys, probably, all season, so calling his season luck would be dead wrong. And, auction drafts is nothing but skill. Bringing economics, accounting, and game theory into practice with a bunch of guys is a lot more than luck. Again, fuck you Damman for that Jordy stick.

Fantasy is something that should remain on the back burner of everyone's life and be at the forefront of online shit talking. LULZ at Drew for thinking the real men take it up a notch by doing an exhaustive grind. Go play poker daily if you want to chest thump about gambling habits instead of bragging that you slot pitchers day in and day out for 6 months for the shot at a cool $275. Solid hobby, bruh.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Whoops, sentence got cut off. I was still salty that my entire drafted lineup went on the DL the day after my draft.

Anonymous said...

Fantasy Football is King, however now that I have 2 kids my Sundays revolve around watching the 1 o'clock game/when the Lions play and then spending time with them. I think I look forward more to pre-draft festivities, drafting and trading (OBVZ) than the actual games.

I started doing draft kings and probably won't do it again once my deposit is gone because, as you guys said it is luck. The winner started Flacco, Brandon LaFell and another scrub to win. Just goes to show you can pick someone off the waiver wire and make miracles happen.

Don't get me wrong I still love me some fantasy football, but life has decided to take up my lazy Sundays.

Cam Juice = Made with Bean juices

----Lange

GMoney said...

That's probably the answer right there, Lange. Life. Fucking life. You childless weirdos are so lucky. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy fatherhood so far, but man is it a time killer.

Anonymous said...

Shags got a 'happy birthday' from the Torg. G$, didn't.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Ide...my baseball and basketball leagues pay out over $1K.....bruh.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

That guy is the king of birthdays b/c he once had vanny halen play a concert in his backyard too

Anonymous said...

Yeah, still not interested in paying that much attention for a chance at $1k. Cool beans if that's your thing, though. Your dick must be really big.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Just checked WebMD and enjoying the grind of daily fantasy has absolutely nothing to do with one's penis size. #IdeLie

--Drew

GMoney said...

Torg is a shitdick. I hope he has the worst insurance possible.

Got to love the comments..."Your personal preference is fucking stupid!" "No, yours is!"

Vanny Halen SUCKED!!!

Jeff said...

Don't tell me how to live my life, dad gummitt!

To be fair, if you lived in Brooklyn, I'm sure you would be biased because there is no time for the daily fantasy grind with all the cool cafes and boutiques to visit.

Anonymous said...

Jeff....is there any doubt Ide smokes those electronic vapor things?

--Drew

GMoney said...

Ide seems like a pipe guy. Allows for a deeper thinking look.

Anonymous said...

Never smoked a cigarette, electronic or otherwise, in my life. Always hated them for some reason.

And people in Brooklyn roll their own, only Eurofags use the electronic shit. If you're going to throw out your tired hipster tropes, try to get them right.

I guess the proper response would be something about how the obesity in the midwest is so laughable that you have plenty of time being fat and sitting on a computer playing with lineups because god forbid you actually walk to the garage to drive to the mailbox or whatever it is you fat humps do nowadays, but really, getting into a city stereotype contest is almost as pathetic about bragging about a super cool and intensive fantasy league.

Ide (current back to back champion in the easy league that Drew sucks at consistently)


Prime99 said...

This post has everything to do with G$'s teams not being successful. To truly enjoy a sunny day, your fantasy teams need to be swamp ass from time to time.

Tosh's Kiffin's Krimson Korner was fantastic last night!

http://www.foxsports.com/college-football/outkick-the-coverage/tosh-o-lane-kiffin-skit-is-funniest-thing-you-will-see-all-season-101414

Anonymous said...

Ide....can you provide a link to where I called fantasy football "easy"? Thanks in advance.

--Drew

GMoney said...

We can all lob insults at each other (LOL guy from Ohio mocking Ohioans) but we can't ignore the worst of the worst...

Prime is apparently a Daniel Tosh supporter. That is worse than Ebola. Timely reference.

Jeff said...

I'll side with Prime on this one, that skit is fucking hilarious.

Drew, Ide is likely to point out that in your first comment where you said "It takes little to no effort" is actually the definition of easy.

Anonymous said...

What Jeff said. Don't argue semantics, you called it easy.

It's easy to mock a place that you've spent the majority of your life living in. It's humorous to watch people base stereotypes off of watching Girls. Keep it up!

Ide

Prime99 said...

Apparently G$ is a Lane Kiffin supporter. How dare Tosh make fun of your guy!

Anonymous said...

Jeff and Ide....that point has nothing to with Ide's point about winning the league. It's "easy" to participate in fantasy football because 90% of the work is done once your draft is completed. That does not make it "easy" to win.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Oh...and I'm with Prime on Tosh. He's funny.

--Drew

GMoney said...

You poor idiots. I'm way funnier. FACT. I guess it does make sense that you mention Tosh on a post about jumping the shark.

Lane Kiffin > Tosh

Anonymous said...

"It's "easy" to participate in fantasy football because 90% of the work is done once your draft is completed. That does not make it "easy" to win."

What the fuck does this even mean?

I knew you would pull some semantics out, because god forbid you err in an internet argument, so here you go.

"Ide....can you provide a link to where I called fantasy football "easy"? Thanks in advance."

Jeff did. Now you double back and say, well yeah, signing up and drafting online is a cinch! But WINNING is a whole other difficulty class. But still, football is worse than basketball and baseball because participating in that is hard.

I don't know the difference between participating and winning. Most people I know participate to win. Not sure where you are drawing the line to separate the two. There are waiver wires, bye weeks/off days, trades, and injuries in every single fantasy sport. Opening a browser to your fantasy page a couple extra times a week doesn't up the difficulty to astronomical levels, unless you have cerebral palsy.

I see you threw the shovel away in favor of a fucking backhoe to dig this hole.

Ide

Jeff said...

Ebola in Cleveland....

Prime99 said...

G$, you're just lucky your blog hasn't blown up on the internet because then you'd hate yourself for being too popular, ya hipster.

MUfan said...

My complaint about FF is the amount of time devoted to it on programs that are supposed to be about actual football, not individual players. If a show is going to be about FF, then call it that. But don't have a show where discussion is supposed to be about a game match-up and instead they spend a good chunk of time discussing individual match-ups for FF players.

Also, when you're watching the bottom of the screen ticker looking to get score updates, it now takes FREAKING forever because they will have at least 3-4 players from each team and their individual stats. I think that's solely because of FF.

MUfan said...

And "The League" is a wonderful show. I haven't seen any of this season yet, but through last season was stellar.

T. Iceman said...

The league sucks. Always has and always will.

I agree some of the shine is starting to come off of fantasy football. Maybe it's because I'm in too many leagues. I'm enjoying a pretty successful season so far but I've already made the decision to scale back on some of my leagues next year because it's just too much. I've found myself starting to be more invested in my fantasy teams over the years than I am my NFL team and I swore I would never let myself do that. I'll always do fantasy football but it's definitely not what it used to be. Fantasy basketball is starting to be more enjoyable.

I do think FF has a chance to get back to where it was though. I mean...it'll never get back to the days where few played since technology makes it so easy and the NFL is so popular. But with all these FanDuel type sites popping up, I can see a lot of people gravitating more towards that in the future. Especially since the commercials make it look like you can win 30 grand with relative ease. People are dumb so I'm sure most people think they can do the same.

I don't think fantasy football "easy" but someone is more likely to get lucky in FF than any other fantasy sport. Other fantasy sports don't get nearly the coverage as FF and all it takes is for one jackass to read a Matthew Berry article or watch a fantasy football show to have a clue for draft day. Sleepers don't exist in FF anymore because of the high coverage FF gets.

Having said that, there is still a lot of skill involved in FF. In most of my leagues, pretty much the same 6 people have made the playoffs every year. That can't be some wild coincidence.

GMoney said...

MUFan and Iceman bring the discussion back to where it should be.

Personally, I'm tired of fantasy segments being stuffed into shows where it doesn't need to be. Like why does Mike & Mike need a FF minute?

And baseball and hoops are more difficult because there is so little coverage compared to football. You HAVE to do research or you have no chance. Ide can say all he wants about winning the league and not following shit but he chose an interesting team building strategy and rode with it. THAT is what makes it incredible. You didn't find that out on CBS Sports Network or from fucking Florio or whoever. That was you. All bald faggot you.

I just gnash my teeth when I see some fucking cock-licker on Facebook post something every week like "YAY ANDREW LUCK! WAY TO PUT UP BIG POINTS FOR MY FANTASY TEAM!" Just shut up, noob. Or the same person (Iceman knows how I'm talking about) openly asking who she should start that week. I don't know, why don't you run your own fucking team?!?!?!?!

We need to get back to fantasy football being a private event with zero coverage. That way, the most intelligent can thrive and no one has to listen to you go on and on about your shitty fucking roster in a league in which you don't know any of the other members.

KILL DREW AND IDE. THROW IN JEFF, TOO.

GMoney said...

In conclusion, all of this wall-to-wall coverage is rewarding the dumbasses and punishing the ELITE.

Unfortunately, the only thing that I can do about it is start 2 of the four between Zac Stacy, Joique, T-Rich, and Jerick McKinnon. I know. I can't believe that I've won twice either.

T. Iceman said...

"Iceman knows who I'm talking about"

I certainly do. I helped her out once because A) I wanted to be nice and B) sometimes I just can't help myself with fantasy football stuff. But from now on I plan on giving people bad advice on purpose when they as me "should I start _______ or ________?"

What pisses me off the most is the people who seek out advice on who to start and then they talk shit to you if the advice doesn't pan out. Listen fuck face. YOU came to ME about who to start because you obviously were too fucking stupid to figure it out on your own. You don't get to shit talk me and pass the blame if my advice didn't get you the win. How about next time you run your own fucking team instead? Or the people that say, "Thanks a lot for the loser advice. You should have to pay some of my entry fee for that terrible suggestion." Is that so? Were you planning on giving me some of your winnings had you won that game based on my advice? No? Than eat a shit covered dick.

I will say that I wish all my fantasy football leagues were auction style. Those are my favorite leagues to draft by far. It really takes the a lot of the luck aspect out of drafting.

GMoney said...

Fantasy Football is slowly turning into a March Madness bracket pool. Every moron plays it now and the ridiculous amount of info just given out to the masses has decreased the "schematic advantage" that those who know what they're doing have.

Welcome to Obummer's 'merica where handouts are robbing the hard-working Joe The Plumber's of the world of their riches.