Friday, October 10, 2014

The OFFICIAL TMS CBJ Preview IMO

Dancing Kevin lives a "no offense" lifestyle
I am very aware of what topics need to get their own day(s) here and which ones need to be stuffed into a grab bag post.  Hockey talk usually falls into the latter and that's fine.  I get it.  BUT, I preview/predict everything around here whether you like it or not and today will be no different.  The Jackets that are not on IR dropped the puck for realz last night in Buffalo (it would be great if they won) so let's do a little mini-NHL preview because DEAL WITH IT.  Should I Q & A myself?  That sounds like a good idea.  Where's Big Rex at with the tape recorder?

Q. Pretty great season last year, eh?  Now that the CBJ have gotten over some hurdles, what are your expectations for the 2014-15 season?
A. There is too much talent here not to demand another playoff appearance.  The thing about hockey that is extremely underrated is chemistry.  Those teams that have played together forever are always terrific because they know each other so well.  People are talking up the Islanders this year just because they have a lot of good, young talent that has never played together before with their influx of veterans that they acquired.  That was an issue with the CBJ the last FOREVER but it shouldn't be anymore.  I'm not going to call for a playoff series win though.  I just want them to show some consistency and get back to the postseason to prove that last year was not a fluke.

Q. Injuries, amirite?
A. Jesus titty-fucking Christ, this is getting absurd.  3 of our top 6 forwards are out for at least the first month and our super-stud defenseman is on IR, too.  For a team notorious for starting out really slow, this is not ideal.  I'm not going to go crazy though because this is why you build up an ELITE set of depth and prospects.

Q. Do you blame Joey or the team for that unnecessarily bitter contract dispute that was resolved on Monday?
A. Everyone is to blame here.  The deal that was agreed to wasn't overly complex.  It could have easily been done in July.  But the front office and the agent were stubborn and decided to throw mud at each other in the press.  Hopefully, RyJo isn't too rusty because we're going to need him to be that stud until the cavalry gets back.

Q. Which young, dumb, and full of cum kid are you looking forward to watching the most?
A.  It's got to be Alexander Wennberg.  This guy can't even legally drink yet but has star written all over him from everything that I've read.  He and Dano and Chaput will get their chances before Boone and Dubi come back (who knows with Horton) so hopefully they make the most of it.

Q. If the Jackets are to meet your goals, then who has to be goddamn ELITE?
A. Bob.  BOB has to be ELITE for us and he knows it.  Fortunately, dude is about to get PAID as long as he has a great season so that should be motivation enough.  He may not be in the Rask, Lundqvist, or Quick level but he is damn close. 
This is our #1 Fan by the way and everyone fucking loves him
Q. Moment of truth, come playoff time, where are the Jackets?  If they make it in again, how far do they go?
A. If we were healthy, I would say that finishing in the top 3 in the Metro would be the bare minimum.  Now, I have to change my expectations a bit.  I think that we are a wild card team again with another first round matchup with the Penguins.  The worst thing that could happen is Johansen having a terrible season and everyone else getting banged up.  Knowing our luck, that will definitely happen.  But I will stay positive anyway...CARRY THE FLAG!

BONUS UNRELATED Q. BAL/KC and SF/STL...since your amazing World Series prediction of Washington over Detroit won one game, who wins the pennants?
A. I've got to go with the Orioles (better manager) and Cardinals (better lineup, starting pitching, and bullpen).  The Giants have some weird October magic though so I am not confident on that pick.  The Orioles though?  Yeah, I've got them winning that one fairly easily.

Let's also pick a few football gambling lines today:
Oregon -2 @ UCLA - The Ducks aren't losing two conference games in a row
Memphis -8 vs. Houston - If you can blast UC, you can beat the Cougs by more than a TD at home
LSU -1 @ Florida - Will Muschamp ain't beating Lester
Pittsburgh +2 @ Cleveland - Every time the Browns get their fan's hopes up, they crush them swiftly and vigorously
Minnesota PK vs. Detroit - No Megatron and Teddy KGBridgewater is back?  SKOL!

The MAC Glory Hole of the Week (now 4-4...shit) is Bowling Green PK @ Ohio University (not Ohio Buckeyes).  The Falcons have fucked me good and deep this season but I did some research here to help make this selection.  BG is 20th in the nation in pass offense while OU is 117th in pass defense.  There is no rain in the forecast and little wind to screw with a solid passing attack so I feel pretty comfortable with this Glory Hole.

See?  That wasn't so painful.  Your one big hockey post of the year is out of the way.  Now, as a warning, the NBA coverage around here is about to increase by about a billion percent so fucking give it a rest already.  That's the price you pay when LeBron comes home.  GO JACKETS!  BEAT THE RAGS TOMORROW!

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Going to my first blue jackets game November 15th, should be a good time but I'm still a Blackhawks fan.

Great start for fantasy right gmoney?

Larry

Nibbles said...

TY HILTON MOTHER FUCKERS

Mr. Ace said...

As a fringe hockey fan, it certainly seemed like CBJ dominated opening night. I need to get my student ID ready.

GMoney said...

I am not pleased with Hilton. I own him in my OTHER LEAGUE and he has been worse than terrible before last night. So I bench him and rightfully so. And then of course THAT happens.

Then again, like I said on Monday, I'm declaring 2014 a fantasy mulligan. Nothing is going right including Larry still starting Hilton for no reason and then blowing a gigantic Peter North load on my grill. Not cool.

Jackets looked fantastic last night. The Sabres are awful, but that was the kind of start that you want. That Wennberg kid is going to be borderline ELITE.

KILL NASH!

GMoney said...

Shit, I forgot to give my Stanley Cup prediction:

Blackhawks (it's their turn with the Kings) over Bruins

*Red Wings FINALLY miss the playoffs although nice win last night
*Dallas goes from non-contender to winning a playoff series
*Toronto still sucks
*Carry The Flag

GMoney said...

By the way, I don't mean to get everybody excited but RG3 is back on the practice field. SUPER BOWL!

Anonymous said...

I'll be CARRYIN IT tomorrow and Tuesday. Pretty sad that nationwide is already handing out thousands of free tickets for the 2nd game.

I joined a fantasy hockey league so I can start learning who the players are. Anything above dead last in the league is a win for me.

I see dancing Kevin walking outside the nationwide building frequently. I wonder who employs that big tub of goo.

Is this the biggest browns game in 10 years? Antonio brown will have 300 yards receiving. GUARANSHEED.

Dut

Prime99 said...

Blackhawks played a sloppy game but got it done in the shoot out. Standard regular season result for them.

Didn't appreciate Arian and JJ Watt putting me in a hole vs Ape.

I had TY Hilton in at FLEX in my OTHER LEAGUE. I had to double check to make sure I didn't bench because that probably would've been the best decision based on prior weeks.

Anonymous said...

Antonio Brown likely won't have Joe Haden to abuse so that will should hold him under 300 yards.

Ape, you need to approve that ELITE trade between myself and Sen. Lil Strut. Tbone Romo will bring the MSFL title home.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ the idea of the Red Wings missing the playoffs....impossible.

It's gonna be crazy when the Red Wings and Jackets are both undefeated when they meet up in a month or two.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Dut playing fantasy hockey? I LIKE IT!

Dancing Kevin is a local treasure. One day, he will go global.

Prime99 said...

I'm also in a no stakes fantasy hockey league to learn more players and stats. So far, so good!

Jeff said...

Jackets looked good. That Sabres team is shitty, but if they are going to get up for one game all season its their home opener. They are in full tank mode now for the #1 pick.

Wennberg is raw, but is going to be awesome. Jared Boll looked surprisingly competent also. He's gonna beat the shit out of some people this year protecting the young guns on the FOURF line. Injuries or not, good teams find ways to win to road games against average at best teams.

Free week of NHL center ice on DirecTV is ELITE.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dut - Go Tigers LOLZ.

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP.

Loser.

Seal

Anonymous said...

That means Slow is a bigger loser than Dut since his team finished below the Tigers in the standings, right?

He's also a bet welcher.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

1948. That is all.

Dut

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at not devoting my entire life to making sure I got to the ONLY home Tigers playoff game when I live 3 hours away. Had there been a weekday game when I could have gone up for work, I obviously would have gone. Getting away on a Sunday when that's 1 of only 2 days a week that I can stay home to help the wife with a new born just isn't happening you fucking asshole. Get over it. You probably would screw your future wife over like that.

Congrats on being fans of the most underachieving baseball team in history. Scherzer, Price and Shitlander all just got beat again.

Seal

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ obviously not caring about living up to your end of a bet. OBVZ if the Tigers had split the first two games, then you could have passed on Game 3. But, when there's a chance that is the only way to live up to a bet...you chose to welch. You deserve nega-props for that bet.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!

Loser fans in a loser city.

Seal

Anonymous said...

And youre right Drew - I care about my wife and daughter more than a bet with co-workers.

Keep trying to troll me... response will always be SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

Seal

Anonymous said...

So, when you made the bet you didn't realize that you were going to have a kid around the playoffs? No wonder Cleveland fans need "THE DIFF".

It's also not a troll...you didn't live up to a bet and welched...it's a fact.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Most under achieving team ever? They're not even the most under achieving team in the MLB this season.

Detroit a loser city? Correct. Loser fans? HAHAHAHA. We averaged 36k fans a game. Windians? 18k, with lows in the 8,000 range.

Seal will cry about payroll in 3....2...1....

Dut

Anonymous said...

It's cute that you care more about this bet than my co-workers.

The first game that would have taken place during the week, I would have been at. But once again, since you can't read, the Tigers sucked so bad that they only had one home game in the playoffs and it was on a Sunday. Losers.

SWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

Seal

Anonymous said...

Probably because your co-workers knew you'd never live up to your end of the bet anyways. I never should have bought into that.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Why would I cry about payroll? Our payroll won the same amount of playoff games as your payroll.

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!!

Seal

Anonymous said...

Last year it was "we won one less regular season game"...this year it's "won the same amount of playoff games". Wonder what next year's schtick will be to try and say that the teams were equal.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

And LOLZ at Dut trying to take the target off of how terrible that Tigers team was with that pitching staff and lineup and talk about the windians. No one said anything about the windians, brah.

We are talking about the loser team your are a fan of and how LOLZ they are.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Late to the party today, but imagine my surprise to see that there was 27 comments about CBJ domination by 1030! Alas, it was another sad discussion about how truly terrible the Tigers were in the playoffs. Still.

CBJ is going to have an amazing season. Fact.

Also, fantasy hockey sounds ELITE. Id be rotten though.

Ide

GMoney said...

I'm in a meeting for an hour and things escalate rather quickly. Seal wins because Tigers fans are losers.

1984.

Ide, I should have done that instead of fantasy football this year.

GMoney said...

Feels like the waters have calmed around here.

Wendy's spicy pulled pork cheese fries = not bad...would order again

GMoney said...

If you're in to PFTCommenter's schtick, his Q&A with John Riggins is about as delightful as you could imagine.

Lunch Pail > Pad Level