Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Money Shot's 2014-15 NBA Preview!

Would you look at the size of that DIFF!!!  But seriously, that thing is ELITE.
Oh yeah!  We got you good!  Nothing stirs up a commenting boner quite like NBA talk!  And you're going to pants-shreddingly hard after today's post.  Iceman and I collaborated on another TRANSCENDENT prediction essay that should launch our blogging careers into the stratosphere.  You may be asking "Why not Ace"?  Why would you even ask that?  He only follows the Spurs.  He has no other takes!  Alright, this is going to be long enough as it is so let's start even though the champs started last night.

Most OVERRATED Team - (Iceman) Los Angeles Clippers. This one was easy. All I had to do was pick the team with the most OVERRATED coach. Every year the media deep throats Doc Rivers' crotch stick and every year he under-performs. The Clippers have finished 1st or 2nd in the Division every year Rivers has been there but they have yet to make the Western Conference Finals. Sure the West is brutal but the Clippers are fucking stacked with talent so GIVE IT A REST with the excuses already.
(G$) Houston Rockets.  James Harden says that he is the best player in the league.  LOL.  They play no defense and have the most selfish "superstars" on the planet.  I would not be all that shocked if they missed the playoffs.  And I hate their GM who always thinks that he is smarter than everyone.  Fuck Daryl Morey.

Most underrated Team - (Iceman) Miami Heat. Look. Losing LeBron was OBVZ huge. He's the reason they won 2 titles in Miami. But everyone is acting like this team is all of a sudden going to be the Milwaukee Bucks now that LeBron is getting Bosley hair treatments in Cleveland. Why? Miami will still win the division and won't be any worse than a 3 seed come playoff time. Realistically who else is going to win that division besides Miami? They won't be title favorites anymore but they will certainly still be in the discussion.
(G$) Charlotte Hornets.  YES!  Dust off those Larry Johnson Era Hornets Starter jackets!  This is a gritty ass team that is loaded with young talent to go along with insane Lance Stephenson.  I like them.  If the East hierarchy is Cleveland, Chicago, Washington (in some sort of order) and the rest, then I would not be surprised if the Hornets are the 4 or 5 seed.

Most OVERRATED offseason move - (Iceman) Jason Kidd to the Bucks. I get fucking migraines trying to figure out why this guy is such a hot commodity in the NBA coaching ranks. All he's done is help construct one of the oldest and most OVERRATED teams in NBA history. Yet organizations are willing to sell their souls to get him. Kidd is one of those guys that tries to get too cute and will eventually outsmart himself every time. He's already trying to convert Giannis Antetokounmpo to PG. A position he's never played before. The Bucks will still be hog shit and Kidd will be making head scratching coaching decisions on another team in 3 years.
(G$) Paul Pierce signing with the Wizards.  Dude sucks and can barely move.  He doesn't do anything well anymore. I get why they did it but they are going to be seriously disappointed that his old man savvy doesn't mean shit.

Most underrated offseason move - (Iceman) Chandler Parsons to the Mavericks. This made absolutely no sense to me. How in the fuck so you allow one of your best players walk to a division rival? Parsons is one of the most underrated players in the league, he's young and he's a tremendous scorer. His best basketball is in front of him and now he's playing for a rival and is pissed. Good work, Houston. A lot was made about what the Cavs did with Lebron and Love (and for good reason) but I think this move was just as important and got way less coverage. Helluva pick up for Dallas.
(G$) Isiah Thomas to the Suns.  This team has the potential to be the most entertaining in the league.  They should run everyone off the floor every single night.  Dragic, Bledsoe, and Thomas is one hell of a backcourt to get up and down the floor.

Breakout Player - (Iceman) Kawhi Leonard. I haven't been shy about what I think this guy can become. Most of you disagree but I won't have a problem accepting your apology after this season is over. It's time. I think this is the year Popovich finally lets Leonard get loose and gives him the freedom guys like Parker and Duncan have. It's no secret Pop wants to have black, cornrowed babies with Leonard. Just look at how much Leonard has noticeably improved over the last 3 seasons. It's insane how much better this cat is now compared to his rookie year. Leonard will be a super star by the time this season is over.
(G$) Dion Waiters.  Homer call?  Maybe/probably but Dion is either going to implode or explode this season.  I'm betting on exploding because he has the demeanor that makes me think that he will embrace what the Cavs have cooking.

MVP - (Iceman) Stephen Curry. LeBron is going to be the popular choice here with Durant being hurt but I'm going a different route. Because picking LeBron and the Cavs for everything is fucking boring. I'm throwing my nuts out there and saying Stephan Curry. He is the best shooter in the game, period and could go down as the best shooter of all time. Averaging 24, 8 and 6 is pretty fucking impressive...then throw in the fact that he weighs about as much as one of my dumps after smashing a Chinese buffet. If he improves those numbers this year I don't know how people can ignore him for MVP.
(G$) Russell Westbrook.  Easy call because I agree that LeBron won't win it.  The Thunder should still be fine with Durant on the shelf and Rusty will be hammering out gigantic statistical nights on the reg.

Rookie of the Year - (Iceman) Jabari Parker. It'll be Parker and I don't think it's close. He's looked the part and then some so far in summer league games. The only way I can see him not getting ROY is if Kidd does something incredibly dumb with Parker. And I can TOTES see that happening since Kidd sucks big dicks.
(G$) Nerlens Noel. Someone has to play for the Sixers and I don't think that anyone will actually watch a 25 win Bucks team play.  People will be intrigued by Philly's attempt to win 4 games this season.

Worst Team In The League - (Iceman) Philadelphia 76ers by a landslide. Embiid is out for who knows how long and he and Noel are the only talent this team has. Carter-Williams is hurt and not good. Philadelphia agrees since it sounds like they are constantly trying to trade him to anyone who will listen. The rest of that roster is absolutely hilarious. It really is. This team won't win more than 15 games.
(G$) Philly...'nuff said.  Got to respect the two year obvious tank.

East and West Winner - (Iceman) Cleveland and San Antonio
(G$) Cleveland and LA Clippers

Champion - (Iceman) Cleveland...with the kiss of death. Either way a team I hate looks to be winning this thing so I will curse the team I hate more with my pick. The Cavs.
(G$) Cleveland.  Yep, it all ends in June.

Iceman's Annual Pistons Prediction - The last two years I have picked the Pistons to make the playoffs and I have been wrong. Dead fucking wrong. So I'm going the more conservative approach this year. I love the SVG hire and his track record speaks for itself. I really like the off season player moves as well. Ditching Stuckey and Bynum and bringing in Augustin, Butler and Meeks were very solid moves. On paper the roster looks a whole hell of a lot better. But until they can figure out what the fuck to do with Josh Smiff, I think this team is going to struggle. He can't start and he'll be a whiny bitch if he's forced to come off the bench so they lose either way. It really is the one last dagger than needs to be removed from the Dumars era before this team can move on to being a serious playoff contender every year. I say they'll finish 9th or 10th in the East.
G$'s Annual Cavs Prediction - I'm not guaransheeding anything but I am openly setting the expectation of a championship this year.  As long as they stay relatively healthy, there is no excuse to not set that goal.  This team is absolutely fucking loaded.  Could they be better defensively?  Of course.  It's going to take a little while to get humming and I would not be shocked if they started off 12-8 in their first 20 or something.  But they are going to be incredible.  The pieces are in place and there is still some room to improve if necessary.  I believe that the Cavs will win the title this season.

Well, there you have it.  The Cavs host the Knicks tomorrow night in what should be an incredible atmosphere that will likely bring me to tears.  Now if you don't mind...GET THAT WEAK STUFF OUTTA HERE!!!


Anonymous said...

Kiss of death huh? The way I see it, you've been picking other teams the past 4 years and the cavs were you change it up and pick the cavs... The jokes on you iceman, you've just jinxed the cavs a championship

Mr. Ace said...

Spurs are repeating.

Leonard still isn't in a position to demand the ball on that roster so he isn't going to break out. He'll have a huge impact on the game but his numbers won't reflect that. I love the kid, though.

The Cavs need a year of playoff basketball to gel just like the Heat did his first year. They will be there, but they aren't winning.

Mr. Ace said...

And my takes are too hot for collaboration. It wouldn't be fair to the other person.

Anonymous said...

I actually agree with Ace... The Cavs will make the championship this year but not win it. They need a year to mold and just get better playing together (see Miami's big 3 first year)... next year is the title year.

Hated seeing Randle go down last night, even though I hate the Lakers - dude was my pick for ROY.

I will be in attendance for the opener tomorrow night - my boner is almost as big as Drew's when he was with those two queer's in Vegas.


Anonymous said...

Is tomorrow going to feature hot takes on the playoff seedings last night?

Being from Ohio, everyone assumes I am cheering for the Cavs, of which I really don't. To be fair, I really don't cheer for any team in basketball ever since that lockout in 98. However, I am cheering for the Cavs tomorrow because fuck the Knicks.

And my parents actually bought me that Larry Johnson era Hornets Starter Jacket! Sweet call! Couldn't wear it anywhere but school though, thanks to the blacks killing each other downtown for them.


Anonymous said...

How 'bout that stat line by Anthony Davis last night? Wow, dudes sick.


Anonymous said...

Not as impressive as that Chandler Parsons stat line. UNDERRATED.


GMoney said...

Not sure why the Spurs would repeat considering they've never come close to doing that, no longer have that "Fuck You Miami" hunger, and are a year older.

Seal, I am TOTES jelly. Well done.

Carmelo played a tough black mercenary dude on Sons of Anarchy last night. It was hilarious. Just like the show because it is terrible.

The Cavs have plenty of bros who have been to the mountain before. I'm not letting that off as an excuse. This team was put together to be ELITE. So I expect them to be ELITE.


GMoney said...

And let's just throw the gauntlet down now: The Bulls are just a stepping stone in the way of the Cavs. Rose will get hurt. We all know this.

I completely disagree with Iceman on the Heat. Wade will have to play every night now and they will run crunch time offense through Bosh. Deng is OK at best. This team is 6-7 seed and first round fodder at best.

I'm more concerned with the Wiz and am very happy that the CLE/WAS rivalry will be starting up again because that was a lot of fun when LeBron and Arenas tried to one-up each other before. Fun because LeBron always won. DeShawn Stevenson can die wherever he is.

Anonymous said...

Picking a guy whose coach has openly been ripping in the media for being overweight as the most underrated move of the off-season...LOLZ.

Pistons make the 8 seed and get swept by Cleveland in the first round.

Kevin Love will miss some large chunks of action with injuries.

Blake Griffin wins MVP.

Spurs repeat.


T. Iceman said...

Yeah. Parsons totally sucks. Good thing we only needed one game to prove that.

If the Heat win their division, and I think they do, then they can't be any worse than the 4th seed. I don't think Washington, Atlanta and Charlotte are there yet. Especially with Washington missing a major component in Beal. Who knows? Maybe the Heat play better with LeBron gone. That's one less diva superstar to please. Like I said, they aren't winning a title but I don't see anyone else winning that division this year.

I don't know what else Leonard needs to do to be the focal point of this team. He's proven to be a stud in waiting. It's a mistake if Popovich doesn't start that transition this year.

Yeah, that Randle injury sucks. Gone for the year after one game. He would have never been rookie of the year, though. Kobe wouldn't have allowed anyone else taking from his spotlight. I also enjoyed the tickle fight between Kobe and Duh-wight last night. Those two guys really don't like each other.

GMoney said...

I would very much enjoy a first round sweep of the Pistons. That would be a real gas.

Mr. Ace said...

Tony Parker is the only focal point for this offense. He sets up the offense that Pop has in place and then it's all about the system. Leonard fits nicely into that system as a wing/slasher. He doesn't need to be anything more than that. Patty Mills is the most UNDERRATED player in the NBA.

This is one last hurrah for this Spurs bunch. That's all the motivation they need.

Is Sons of Anarchy universally hated amongst the blog? I am just beginning season 6 on Netflix right now. I'm a fan. Why all the hate?

Anonymous said...

Speaking of tv shows, I look forward to joining Zombie talk moving forward as I watched from episode 1 to the most recent in the past couple weeks. Good show (minus season 4).


GMoney said...

Don't even get me started as to why SOA is AWFUL. The dialogue is the worst. The Teller family is worse than Hitler. The acting is repugnant. The cops in Charming just let a motorcycle gang kill whoever they want with no repercussions at all. No one's intentions ever make sense while everyone believes everything that they are told. Every episode is four hours long. And Katey Sagal seems to sing a horrible cover song at the end of every episodes weekly closing montage. IT IS THE WORST.

That good enough?

I only watch out of hope that everyone dies.

Prime99 said...

I don't really have much shit to talk because I want to see D. Rose healthy before making statements I'll regret later, but I am excited to see how the Bulks do. The Bulls/Cavs games should be fun to watch. Pretty weak take but I don't know what I'm working with yet.

Grumpy said...

Don't listen to him, Ace. SOA is a great show; keep watching. G$ is too dense to understand the literary undertones to the plot and characters. You, on the other hand, will understand the nuances.

GMoney said...

Oh, I understand plenty that stupid fucking Sutter wants this to be like Hamlet which is ridiculous. The two people that he wants us to root for are fucking awful human beings. This entire season is a lie. None of this matters until Jax actually finds out the troof and realizes that those 800 dead bodies were pointless. There is no "nuance" as you claim. It is a waste of time.

Take Boardwalk's final season. They did not waste ONE scene. SOA is nothing but wasted scenes.

I win.


T. Iceman said...

Literary undertones? Nuances? LOL. That's a gas. SOA was made and is popular for one reason alone. It glorifies white trash and this country is filled with it. Don't act like this is some work of art written by Homer. There was a specific demographic these writers had in mind when they pitched this show and they slammed it out of the park. Every trasher from south Florida to northern Washington loves this shit because it's right in their wheelhouse.

GMoney said...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST...the CBJ lost Anisimov, Wiz, AND Letestu to injury last night. Jared Boll might be on the top line Friday. This season is already the fucking worst. 7 of the top 9 forwards, best offensive defenseman, Jack Johnson sucks dick, and one of the best goalies in the world all on the shelf or in JJ's case bad.

Anonymous said...

It's nauseating. I can't even bear to read about the games anymore because it's too awful. I heard a day later about Bob and just found out about Anisimov here.

I blame LeBron.


GMoney said...

It's truly amazing. I don't know that I've ever seen anything like it. Jarmo is on his way to Springfield right now and is rumored to be bringing back 3-4 players with him. We already have 3-4 Falcons on the team. I'm telling you, a plane crash is the next step.