Friday, October 03, 2014

MLB Has No Idea How To Fix Pace of Play

Let me hear ya, Hulkamaniacs!
The actual baseball playoffs began yesterday (come on, Orioles!) but the big news from the sport was the new rules put in place to speed up play. Apparently, this is a big issue for the Commissioner's office. There are 6 new guidelines that will be instituted (I think) next year so let's go through them and determine if they are SO DUMB or ELITE. And, again, Buck Showalter better have hung dong on the Tigers last night.

1. A hitter must keep one foot inside the batter’s box throughout his plate appearance. Exceptions include a foul ball or a foul tip, a pitch forcing the batter out of the batter’s box, a request for time out being granted, a wild pitch or a passed ball and several others.--Take a close look at this. There is no listed punishment for offenders. So they are throwing in a rule with no way to enforce it. This rule has been in place at the high school level for years and it is never utilized except for by asshole umpires (not me for I am a tender umpire). It isn't going to be enforced for millionaires. Some of these fuckers make 25 million per year. They can take as long as they want. SO DUMB.

2. Intentional walks will no longer include the pitcher lobbing four balls outside the strike zone. Instead, the manager will signal to the home-plate umpire and the batter will take first base.--I like this. Sure, every once in a while, some dumbass launches one to the backstop. But it is unnecessary. ELITE.

3. There will be a maximum break of two minutes and five seconds between innings, with hitters required to be in the batter’s box by the one minute and 45 seconds mark. If a hitter doesn’t comply, the umpire will call a strike. If the hitter is ready but the pitcher doesn’t deliver a pitch by two minutes and five seconds, the umpire will call a ball.--WTF? A "shot clock" is never going to work. What if it's mid July in KC and the catcher is the first batter coming up. He's already sweating his ass off and now you want him to rip the gear off and sprint back to the dish otherwise he gets a strike called on him? And what if the inning ends with a pitcher on base? SO DUMB.

4. There will be a maximum of two minutes and 30 seconds allowed for pitching changes, including those that occur during an inning break. The clock starts when the reliever enters the playing field. The penalty will be that the umpire calls a ball.--I hate the asshole relief pitchers who walk from the pen to the mound or jog really slow. Get your fucking ass in there and take your warm-up pitches. I hate the idea of a between innings clock but I don't mind this. Those guys have been throwing for awhile anyway. They shouldn't need ten more pitches on the field, too. ELITE.

5. Each team will be permitted three “timeout” conferences covering any meeting involving pitchers and catchers, managers, coaches and batters. Timeouts during pitching changes and those that result from an injury or other emergency will not be counted toward the limit.--YES! FINALLY! Jorge Posada used to talk to the pitcher at least 40 times per game and it was always the worst. Cut these meaningless conferences down and save some time. The pitcher is a dumb person but he knows that he needs to throw strikes without 3 people coming out to remind him to throw strikes. This is a good call. ELITE.

6. All of the above will be enforced in all AFL games. At Salt River home games only, a modified version of Rule 8:04, which requires a pitch to be thrown within 12 seconds after he receives the ball with the bases empty, will apply.--The Arena Football League? Again with the shot clock. This is fucking dumb. Yeah, some pitchers take forever and I wish that more were like Mark Buehrle but this is not the way to change things.

Want to know some things that I would institute to help improve the pace? Glad you asked!

*I like the automatic intentional walk
*I like setting a certain amount of time for relief pitchers to get into the game
*I love the set amount of conferences on the mound
*Killing Harold Reynolds would be a lovely gesture
*If you want to make a stand with a clock, have someone within MLB chart it and then fine the fuck out of the offenders and even more so for repeat offenders. Don't give balls and strikes because that turns the umpire into an unnecessary villain. Go after their wallets. They'll get the fucking hint.
*There is nothing more annoying than multiple throws over to first base. I'd institute that you get ONE per batter. Use it wisely or DEAL WITH IT. The bunt is stupid and stolen bases are awesome anyway. Scoring is way down these days because the pitching is incredible so get the runners moving more often.
*Bring back the bullpen car to drive relievers to the mound!
*Fire Angel Hernandez (this one is more of a personal preference)

Let me know what you think of MLB's pace solutions and mine. I don't think that pace is THAT big of a problem. Their are bigger issues (PEDs still, lack of TRANSCENDENT superstars, the Detroit Tigers, etc.). How about a little gambling advice to send us into the weekend.

FUCK! I missed last week's Glory Hole by .5 point. Put BG down as a team that you can't trust. How do you give up 500+ yards rushing to Wisconsin one week and then 7 days later you give up 500+ yards passing to UMass??? BGSUcks. We're now 3-2 on the season and now that conference play has begun, we are TRIPLING DOWN AT THE OLD GLORY HOLE.

The MAC Glory Holes of the Week are Toledo -5 @ Western Michigan, Northern Illinois -24.5 vs. Kent State, and UMass +3.5 @ Miami. The Rockets have been double digits better than Row The Boat for over a decade now. Kent State has gotten slaughtered the last two games (Ohio Buckeyes and Virginia) and I can't see them firing up on a long bus trip to DeKalb. I think that the RedHawks can end the 21 game losing streak tomorrow but when you have a chance to get MORE than a FG from a team whose losing streak can get into strip clubs, you would be dumb not to. I GUARANSHEED two winners from this bunch but all three is very likely. RedHawks win 31-30.

A lot of good Big 5 games this weekend as has been discussed so feel free to make some picks there if you want. But what really matters is that Baltimore needs to end the Tigers. See you Monday or, as I like to call it, another day in which the Redskins embarrass themselves on national TV.

62 comments:

GMoney said...

Fucking Blogger...why would I ever set a post to publish at 2 pm??? I blame #1 Tigers fan, Seal.

GMoney said...

And yes, the Tigers were destroyed last night. Need to see that twice more. Just wait until Buck figures out what's wrong with Tartabull's swing and switches to all-cotton uniforms.

Mr. Ace said...

FOH. You made us wait for a gotdamn baseball post.

GB -6 1st half, AZ +22, AZ MONEYLINE!!! I'M RICH BITCH.

Watching the Tigs get destroyed with Dut last night was a great experience. So was watching him win Jake Owens tickets.

T. Iceman said...

What's the over under on runs given up by Verlander next game?

Let say this again. I don't like baseball and I never will. But one thing that is really starting to become hilarious is Tiger fans and their ebb and flow of emotion. They're a pretty cocky group considering all they can win is the central.

GMoney said...

Who the fuck is Jake Owens? He's got a faggot's first name.

Got to love them bragging about winning that Central. Considering that they spend more than the other four teams combined (probably true) then this is like Jeffy Dahmer winning gold at the Special Olympics even though he was a normy in The Ringer.

GMoney said...

Oregoning might be the new Clemsoning. Bye bye Mariota's possible Heisman

RICH ROD! RICH ROD! RICH ROD!!!

Anonymous said...

Not only is the Central Division the worst in baseball, but can you name a division in all of sports that is weaker over the last 5-10 years?

Anonymous said...

Fucking love winning the Central, because it means the Windians never get to make the playoffs (last year was not the playoffs...we've been over this).

Bullpen OBVZ sucked last night...but, not getting ELITE Scherzer is what stunk. I wonder who these Tigers fans Iceman is referencing are with their wild changes of emotions.

I don't see these changes speeding up baseball much...and G$s idea of only letting the pitcher throw to first one time an at bat is so dumb fo real.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Are throw overs not annoying as shit? Yes, they are. Use them wisely!

Iceman's Tigers fans friends sound an awful lot like Iceman's Cavs fans friends. No one knows these people.

Anonymous said...

G$....also sound a lot like Cakes "front running Tigers fans"....which still makes me LOLZ.

--Drew

T. Iceman said...

I know it's insane to think there's a world outside of this blog, gentlemen. But I assure you there is.

For your information, Drew...I happened to be listening to 97.1 detroit yesterday on that smart phone thingy Ide can't wrap his brain around. They started taking calls from Tiger fans and 90% of them were calling for the sweep. The other 10 said no way the Tigers lose this series. Not to mention the friends of mine who happen to be Tiger fans and were overly optimistic about dominating the Orioles. It's crazy how one game changes that tune.

T. Iceman said...

Looks like DickRod got the last laugh over Michigan.

Anonymous said...

90 percent of the fans were probably correct. It will be a sweep!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at that Tigers bullpen.

Drew would be happy every year with only winning the Central, with that payroll and lineup. Loser. Just prepping himself for when we all laugh at him AGAIN when the Tigers get ousted.

The Indians made the playoffs last year. I don't give two shits what Drew and G$ think. It's called a one game wildcard PLAYOFF game.

Seal

Anonymous said...

They have to do something about the batter stepping out between pitches. It's ridiculous. So I like the idea of the one foot in the batter's box at all times. Even though there would be growing pains, that is the number 1 way to speed up games. Victor Martinez is a serial offender of this.

Limiting mound visits by the catcher would be huge. I also remember how big of a douche Jorge Posada was in this regard.

The Orioles just got another hit and are still batting in the 8th inning.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

So you listened to a lot of optimistic people on the radio yesterday afternoon ....where is the "ebb and flow of emotions"?

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Slow is so proud of that play in game appearance.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

You are right, I am. The Indians made the playoffs and lost last year with our shitty payroll and lineup. Pretty impressive.

Seal

GMoney said...

It was a play-in game. Should have had it down at UD Arena. Congrats on being Bethune-Cookman!

The idea of a pitch clock is stupid though. And if a coach wants to come out to the mound for a visit, they should have to sprint. Not only would it be hilarious, but guys like Joe Torre wouldn't go negative MPH to the hill. I want to see Charlie Manual run fast is what I'm trying to say.

I will never get tired of Brad Ausmus trying so hard to look smart. It is extremely LULZ. That fucking guy is in so far over his head. He makes Ned Yost look like Connie Mack.

Anonymous said...

you can NOT win in the playoffs without having a bullpen for situations in the 7th thru 9th innings. Coke, Joba, Soria expected to get key outs in the late innings..........NOT happening and this has been a Tiger problem for years now and has yet to be fixed! Not only is the window closing, but the house is burning down!

Anonymous said...

Slow...gives so little amount of shits...that he decides to post about how he doesn't care and capitalize the word playoffs. You surely don't care.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

It's nice that I can prove you wrong with one word in all caps. LOLZ at you.

Almost as funny as the Tigers performance last night.

Seal

GMoney said...

Seal, what game are you going to in Detroit? Because you could have yourself quite a LULZ evening (knock on boner).

Jeff said...

Yes, pace of play needs to be addressed, but so do the amount of games. Baseball will be a dying a long slow death in today's society where no one has an attention span of more than 37 seconds outside of senior baseball writers.

Oregoning, I like it. Anything to take away from Clemsoning.

Anonymous said...

So it worked out best, schedule-wise, to go to an ALCS game, but seeing as they might not make it that far, I might go up Sunday to that afternoon game or Monday's game. God seeing them get knocked out at home would be so fantastic... imagine all those sad Tigers fans?!

Seal

GMoney said...

Don't you #causedbyseal this! It's bad enough that Cakes is already trying to ruin things.

Anonymous said...

Good call... I'm not predicting anything, just wishing.

Seal

GMoney said...

Back to gambling, Ohio only giving 7.5 to MD? Am I crazy or is that number really low? Am I supposed to believe that Urban Meyer is barely a touchdown fave over Randall Edsall?

I'm also not buying the Patriots getting their shit together nonsense. The Bengals will pack Masshole fudge on Sunday night.

Mr. Ace said...

A couple NFL moves I am eying: ATL/NYG OVER 50...Two good offenses there, need a Cakes/Ide weather report. And TB +10. Saints aren't 10 points better than anybody this year. Hopefully that line continues to go up.

Anonymous said...

I don't think there has been an OSU game this year where G$ hasnt made a post comment about the line being too low.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Stefon Diggs ain't THAT good. J/K...he is but Edsall sucks. He gives off the vibe of a Schiano Man.

I'm staying away from that Tampa/NO game. I don't trust either team. I would also put big money on Seattle this Monday. Every time the REDSKINS are on national TV, they get DESTROYED.

T. Iceman said...

Well I haven't had a chance to listen to the radio yet today Drew, but I'm guessing Tigers fans aren't going to be nearly as confident about that series as they were a mere 24 hours ago. Ebb - gonna sweep, best team in the AL, world series bound. Flow - oh shit, didn't see that coming, we could be fucked, Verlander is next up and shell of himself.

LOLZ all you want Drew, but this happens every year. Tigers fans are jacked for the playoffs with all these delusions of a championship, then get all sad panda when the team doesn't win it all with one of the highest payrolls in baseball.

It's almost as predictable as the Indians missing the playoffs every year.

Anonymous said...

Let's not play into Drew's hand here... he is happy we are jumping to conclusions already. Its only one game... a lot of baseball to be played. They are easily coming back to win this series after Verlander pitches a gem today. (even though there is no way you can convince me that he is a better option than Price in game 2).

Seal

Jeff said...

PFTCommenter straight kilt it with that Teddy Bridgewater piece.

Prime99 said...

G$- when do you take over for Selig?

Iceman- internet radio? Poppycock, I say!

RichRod knows how to run a program. Michigan should take a second look.

Tigers beat downs are funny. Wouldn't mind another couple to end things.

Anonymous said...

Just cracked a beer...these work emails could gain an aggressive tone to them by the end of the afternoon.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Just woke up. Thanks Jews.

Baseball post, meh.

Iceman, I love that you have clung to this notion that I don't know smartphone apps, when I stated how pathetic it was for you to be driving around Florida listening to Indianapolis radio stations. One would make the assumption that you were using Sirius or an app. You, of course, could make no such assumptions. It's fine. I have come to realize that if things aren't spelled out for you in spaghettio's, you probably wouldn't get it. Things like intuitive reasoning and paragraph structure.

GAMBLING. I went with Wiscy, UCLA, USC, Clemson for college and I took that ATL/NYG for the over. The weather here is going to be fucking gorgeous, so I expect a lot of terrible secondary play, which is the norm. I am starting Eli in G$FL, so now I get to cheer for the Giants for once.

HEY DANIEL, GET FUCKED. RODGERS AND HIS SLAVE LACY SAY HI.

Ide

GMoney said...

Buck should have started a non-Oriental today apparently.

Anonymous said...

Let us take this moment to remember that the ASTROS of all teams released J.D. Martinez before the season.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Uh oh...Tigers are looking at three (likely) innings of bullpen today. Better keep scoring, shitdicks!

Anonymous said...

So there is no way Sanchez gives up this lead - dude is nasty... but is Ausmus stupid enough to pull him in the 9th for Nathan?? What do you think Drew?

Seal

GMoney said...

People forget that Baltimore is Joe Flacco's town and thus is ELITE. Can't say that about Detroit.

T. Iceman said...

Ide sounds mad because he can't figure out smart phones.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I think he is dumb enough and I'm already anticipating it to happen.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

These fucking tard announcers are acting like 28 pitches is some wild amount and maybe Anibel should sit. Dude is used to being a starter. Just let him roll. Who fucking cares if you use him up for a couple days in an effort to get the split on the road. He's light years better than every other option at the moment.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Yea I 100% agree with you Drew - no way you pull him. Do whatever it takes to get this win... even if it takes Sanchez throwing a high pitch count. Act as if this is a must win game, because it is. And Sanchez after 70 pitches is still better than Nathan.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Joba baby!!! LOLZZZZZ!!!

Seal

Anonymous said...

Tiger Bullpen SUCKS and I am being kind!!

Jeff said...

LOLZ indeed. Drew should be hammered

GMoney said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Delmon Young does damage on Yom Kippur. How fitting!

Anonymous said...

LOLLLLZZZZ!!!!

Seal

Anonymous said...

Ausmus might get fired before Hoke. LOL

Seal

GMoney said...

Coming up to bat for the Tigers in the 9th:

H Perez
A Romine
E Carrerra

Solid job by Dave Dumbrowski indeed.

Anonymous said...

good thing the Tigers made the trade for Price so he can pitch in the ELIMINATION game!!!

The PRICE will be wrong, BITCH!

GMoney said...

The Tigers lost ICYMI

Anonymous said...

Well, at least now I've got the rest of the afternoon to drink and find some new good porn.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I'd feel bad for Drew if--nah, never mind. Fuck the Tigers.

GMoney said...

That is a good fallback.

T. Iceman said...

No one should ever feel bad for Drew. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Or Dut - got Tigers Dut. LOLZ

Seal

Anonymous said...

It's nice when we can all put our differences aside and join forces for the common goal of rooting against the Tigers.

-Damman

T. Iceman said...

It's nice to see Indians fans still have something to cheer for.