Thursday, October 16, 2014

I Just Feel Like We Need A Wrestling Post

Bad Lip Reading: "Did something fly in my crotch?"

I haven't been able to stop watching Randy Orton RKOing the fuck out of everybody on the internet and I don't want to. I was going to do a little breakdown of the best #RKOing vids that have been released...but then I found out SBNation and Uproxx had already done it, and I was left without a plan. But alas, great members of the commentariate, I bring you the best of both worlds. Some of my favorite members of this glorious meme and a list of WWF suggestions who should be up next.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: I can't think of a meme that the Texas Rattlesnake shouldn't be involved in, but this one is an obvs no brainer. You have the glass shattering, the stunner, the middle fingers, and then the beer chug. I can see Jay Cutty getting stunned right now.

The Undertaker: Imagine a running back diving for the pylon, being upended and about to land on his head...and then out of nowhere The Deadman comes in and Tombstones him. I need that in my life.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan: They already created a video featuring the "Clothesline from Hell"(whoever the fuck that guy is). Just look at this wrestling tactitian and tell me he doesn't deserve all this glory. USA USA USA HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ted Dibiase: I'm sure there is a video out there of Iceman slowly crumpling to the ground under the weight of his 18th rumplemintz shot. The Million Dollar Dream should totes be making an appearance in that video.

The Rock: You can't have a list like this and leave out The People's Champ, no matter how terrible Pain and Gain(one of the few movies I couldn't make it through) was. The Rock Bottom and The People's Elbow would work perfectly in these.

Ric Flair: I seriously LOL'd at the thought of Flair going crazy with WOOOOOOO Chops and then doing his strut.

Also, this was done back in 2009. Talk about being ahead of your time.

Hulk Hogan: The Hulk should be coming through at the end of every single one of these videos and finishing it with the leg drop.

hahahahahahahaha that's just fantastic.

Shawn Michaels: Sweet Chin Music was made for this shit. Ask Yasiel Puig.

BRILLIANT! This will never get old. Please leave your suggestions in the comments. And if you have some of your own internet gold to drop on us then please do that as well. The internet is a magnificent beast.


GMoney said...

Pain & Gain is easily top 5 of worst movies I've ever watched. That was abysmal.

I like the idea of my boy Ted Dibiase getting his own meme. I love these Vines as well. I'm always a fan of skateboard punks eating concrete anyway but splicing in an RKO puts it over the top.

Here is something that I want to admit: I can't get enough of the videos with Jim Ross dubbed over them. DEAR GOD THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY! Those will never get old to me. I want a Jim Ross track playing over and over at my funeral next month. HE'S GOT TO BE DEAD! LOOK AT THE CARNAGE!

You covered most of the big ones but I wouldn't mind seeing an Earthquake or a Yokozuna edition where idiots fall down and then big, fat, and dead wrestlers from the 90's sit on them. That has potential.

Mr. Ace said...

And I fucking love Marky Mark and The Rock. That was the most disappointing movie I have ever watched. I have no idea what the point of that movie was....and I never will because I will never see the end.

I'll make that Jim Ross request happen for you.

If somehow a tag team like legion of doom could get worked in that would be an unbeatable Internet force.

GMoney said...

Unrelated but last week I predicted that Baltimore would win the ALCS with ease. Whoops. And I had the O's playing the Cards. By midnight tonight, I could easily be TOTES winless in my playoff series predictions. I haven't come close to correctly nailing any of these. NOT ELITE!

That said, Jesus Christ, Royals! My only problem with them is that people might start thinking that Mike Moustakas doesn't fucking suck when he does and will forever.

Playoff Adam Jones = Playoff Nick Swisher...not a compliment

Anonymous said...

That's not true. You claimed the Tigers would lose.

They did.


GMoney said...

I actually picked those losers to win. It was hilarious when they got swept. Remember?

T. Iceman said...

The real life version of Pain and Gain is way more interesting than the movie counterpart. They really botched the movie. It could have been really awesome but it just came out weird and dumb.

I can't believe we're not all dead from Ebola yet. Facebook dipshits seem to think its only a matter of weeks before the end of the world.

Anonymous said...

The Royals proving to be ELITE makes the Tigers AL Central crown even more impressive. Fending off those guys for an entire grueling 162 game season? Wow.


GMoney said...

I don't know anything about Ebola except that it is some trashbag Africa disease. IMO any American going to Africa deserves whatever they get.

Anonymous said...

Iceman....Ebola in Cleveland is making me think there may indeed be a God.


T. Iceman said...

"Iceman....Ebola in Cleveland is making me think there may indeed be a God."

And that he really does hate Cleveland?

I can't wait for Lebron to get Ebola. That's gonna kick so much ass.

Cakes said...

All I'll say about wrestling is that I miss the virgilbag. Bring it back, deadspin.

Will the Royals ever lose again? I'm rooting for them but it's starting to get ridiculous. I'm sure the Indians would've done the same thing had they made it.

Anonymous said...

I watched 10 minutes of Pain & Gain while Mrs. Ward took one of her many naps in Mexico. It was awful which is surprising because something with the rock and marky mark should be ELITE.

I put on 10 lbs in 5 days. Mexico was great but it is great to be back in MERICA.


Anonymous said...

I was in Cleveland for the brother-in-law's bachelor party last weekend. I am going to be pissed if I got Ebola from one of the fine young ladies at Christie's. More than likely, I would get it from the hotel I stayed at (University Inn).
Ohio Nate

GMoney said...

Cleveland has had its ups and downs over the years but Christie's has never failed to deliver. What's it like to go to a strip club sharing the name with your mother though? That had to be odd for a little bit.

The Virgilbag was easily one of the best columns on the internet.

Anonymous said...

I had enough booze and titties in my face for it not to even cross my mind.
-Ohio Nate

GMoney said...

Cakes, I think my favorite parts of all of those were the MANY occurrences of people meeting The Undertaker at a random Waffle House. That just kills me.

Anonymous said...

I had some pass to NY Comic Con this past weekend. Saturday was WWF day, where there was a bunch of wrestlers like Ted Dibiase and Hacksaw Jim Duggan giving pictures and signing autographs.

I was too hungover to go.


GMoney said...

Late night with Carmelo and Alec Baldwin?

Anonymous said...

Heh no. But I got my pass from Cheryl/Carol from Archer. Her and her husband were beyond blacked out. As she left she screamed, "SAY GOOD BYE TO THESE!" and "OUTLAW COUNTRY".

She is ELITE. Also called H Jon Benjamin a creepy weirdo, and reiterated how serious she was about that. She REALLY hates him.


Prime99 said...

Ide drops names like Michigan drops football games.

The RKO Vines are fantastic. I hadn't seen the HBK one- awesome as well.