Tuesday, September 09, 2014

College Football Week 2


"I do what I want."



Well now!  Today should be fun, now shouldn't it?  I'm still recovering from my brother's bachelor party in Chicago from Saturday so we'll dive right in.  Almost all of the top 25 went as it was supposed to this past weekend so I'll just focus on the big games from Saturday.  Nearly all involve the Big 10 embarrassing themselves.  Again.

Michigan vs. Notre Dame

Well...it appears a lot of questions have been answered about both of these teams.  I'm not even going to attempt to defend what happened on Saturday.  Michigan was outplayed in every facet of the game.  We got Janay Palmer'ed.  There are three things that need to be addressed about this game.  First, it appears Derrick Green may suck big, black, hairy balls.  Green was outplayed by De'Veon Smith for the second game in a row and I wonder if Hoke is smart enough to realize it.  My money is on probably not.  Second, it takes more than one off season to learn how to read a defense if you've spent your entire football career doing the exact opposite of that.  Like I said before the season started...Gardner should not be the quarterback of this football team.  Finally, Funchess is the real fucking deal.  He was the only real bright spot of the abortion Michigan threw out in South Bend Saturday night.  I refuse to say anything good about Notre Dame because fuck those child raping, murdering, cheating shit dicks.  Rudy sucked dick for sport.  Give me Les fucking Miles already.

Ohio vs. Virginia Tech

The only thing that kept me from completely losing it after the Michigan loss was watching the end of this beauty.  J.T. Barrett was all of the LULZ and showed exactly why all non Ohio fans correctly said "season over" when Braxton Miller re-injured his pussy.  Barrett lived up to his newly appointed douchy nickname "The Distributor" by distributing turnovers as well as a home opener loss.  I would go back and pull recent comments from our lovable group of Fuckeye losers reassuring the world this team will be "fine" but I won't.  Because I'm not Drew and proud of it.  What's the ceiling for this team this year?  8 wins?  7? I keep remembering how URBZ Meyer is supposed to bring all of these National Championships to Columbus and I just giggle because he can't beat a coach that has butt cheek skin as a neck.

Michigan State vs. Oregon

Okay.  So Oregon is really fucking good.  The Big 10 really needed this one to silence the Big 10 hating critics and it looked like MSU was going to pull it off for a moment.  But then Marcus Mariota and Royce Freeman had other plans.  Meanwhile, Jim Delany is still under the delusion that a Big 10 team will make the playoff.  If it happens, it appears that all of those fleeting hopes fall squarely on the shoulders of Michigan State or Wisconsin since these two teams have looked the best.  But considering how laughable the Big 10 looks from top to bottom (Purdue and Northwestern both getting MACtioned), it's hard to share Delany's optimism.

The rest of the Big 10

I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this one but holy shit.  They bad.  And it would've been worse if not for an Iowa comeback over Ball St and a Nebraska comeback over McNeese St.  Side not: Can we finally end this fucking fairy tale of Pat Fitzgerald is a good coach?  Just because you scream like Jim HarBRAH, it doesn't make you Jim HarBRAH.

USC vs. Stanford Football

Lucky for the Cardinal this one won't count in the loss column since it appears they weren't playing STANFORD FOOTBALL.  Dodged a bullet there.  I missed it, but apparently USC AD Pat Haden was called down to the field by Steve Sarkisian after the officials started getting flag happy.  I guess Haden stormed the field to challenge the refs to a cage match, or something, after Hayes Pullard was ejected for targeting.  So not only is Sarkisian a racist, he's also a pussy who can't fight his own battles. But at least he isn't a Kiffin!

That'll be my time today.  I'm sure there will be loads of Fuckeye backtracking and excuse making in the comments today to keep us all entertained.  Enjoy.  And hopefully by today Ide has learned what a smart phone is and how to properly use it.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

First of all, I hope you pissed yourself or vomited all over yourself at your brother's bachelor party. Now that that's out of the way....

I do question whether you even watched the OSU/VT game as the most glaring weakness on the team right now is OL and that didn't even get a mention from you. I will admit to thinking there wouldn't be as many issues as there currently are after replacing 4 starters with three of them being NFL players...and some of you did mention that that would be a big issue for the team in the preview days. But, it is not good right now. Not 2013 Michigan OL bad...but, it's bad....which makes life even more difficult for a youngster like Barrett. He had zero time the entire fourth quarter. He needs to do a better job of getting the ball out of his hand...like Ape does with balls in his mouf...but, he's not getting any help from the guys up front. He also didn't get any help from his WR's when they dropped two fucking touchdowns. Also very disappointed with some of our penalties on defense on 3rd downs that kept VT on the field and their drives alive...lookin' at you Eli Apple.

There's nothing else to say other than it was a bad game and a disappointing home loss. I have no idea what type of season VT is going to end up having, but I bet they have a loss or two that will make me even more frustrated that we lost to them. We need to hope that this season mirrors 2004 where it was struggles the first half with new players around and then molded into a very good team by the end with the young players so that it was ready for a big run in 2005.

As for a ceiling of 7 or 8 wins...LOLZ. Where are these losses? We still play in the B1G brah. Most likely a loss at MSU...possibly a loss at PSU, but their OL is just as bad and they don't have a DL like ours....Cincy possibly? I mean...we aren't losing to Michigan. So, I don't see where you are coming up with them.

I didn't see any of the Michigan/ND game, so I don't have anything other than to say LOLZ. Way to score 0 in the final game of that rivalry....Nussmeier earned that $1M OC salary. Also saw Hoke played the "true Michigan fans will stick with us" card yesterday....never a good card fora coach to play.

I'll give MSU some credit for going into Autzen and sticking with them for 3 quarters. Sometimes those types of games just get away from you at the end. Mariota is also special....big Heisman front runner at the moment.

I saw yesterday that Pat Haden tweeted he'll pay the fine out of his own pocket (duh), but he requested the PAC-12 donate his fine to autism charity because his grandson has it. What the fuck? You fucked up brah...you don't get to decide how your money is spent after that.

Biggest loser of the weekend was Texas losing 41-7 at home to BYU.

Awful slate of college football games this coming weekend.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Side post...

Lions looked great last night...Giants also looked bad tho, so who knows. Stafford looked like the real deal tho.

Verlander and the Tigers getting a big win over the Royals as well.

Great day yesterday.

--Drew

Jeff said...

Gonna go with a big no on Ice watching the game. That game was hardly on Barrett. Ice is good at reading stat lines and making the game up from there though. Oline and 3rd down defense were terrible, not to mention 2 missed FGs. Getting Noah Spence back will be big.

Don't know how you aren't calling for all the heads to roll on the coaching staff at mich. What the fuck are you waiting for?

Clemson beat a JV team by a million. Now start Deshaun Watson against FSU!

Grumpy said...

Hoke has to go, doesn't he?

Anonymous said...

The UM/ND game had more to do about ND than it did about Michigan. ND's defense played great an Golson did what he wanted through the air. Michigan was dead set on stopping the run and never changed up their gameplan. Maybe Hoke should start wearing a headset so he has a clue on why is going on. I love VanGorder. Everyone was disappointed when Diaco left but VanGordor looks like he is better and he is actually an aggressive coach. I still have to hold back on the excitement because it's only rice and Michigan but the team looks great with a lot of young players seeing the field.

I only watched a bit of the Ohio game. It clearly looked like their oline was the issue. From what I saw they seemed to be running a lot of deep routes instead of trying to help out the young qb by running short routes and negating the pressure. No way ohio only wins7-8 games. They are in the big ten. Lock for 9 wins probably 10

Larry

Nibbles said...

I thought the QB play was worse than the OL play. VT lined up in a 50 front for most of the game and would blitz another 1-2 linebackers on top of that on nearly every possession.

In addition, their corners pressed basically challenging us to throw deep on them.

We responded by throwing deep, but every single pass seemed to be underthrown with the receivers either having to come back for it, or the DB's being able to get a hand in there to knock it down.

Mark it down - VT won't run that defense the rest of the year. The entire week the OSU staff prepared for the 4-3 and said themselves how surprised they were that a team would show up running a five man front like that. Hats off to Bud Foster.

Nibbles said...

Jeff,

Why are you so down on Cole Stoudt? It's because he's white?

Anonymous said...

He's probably just high on Deshaun Watson, because he's fucking awesome.

--Drew

GMoney said...

You can complain about the OL and the QB that can't throw or the stable of finesse RBs that can't run between the tackles or the shitbag fans or even the garbage ass secondary...but this mega coaching staff just ain't getting the job done at Ohio. From Urb down to a loser like Kerry Coombs, none of them are doing their jobs well.

That's 3 losses in 4 games two of which to ACC teams (and not even the best one!).

I will never get tired of watching Ohio Buckeye losses with Mr. Ace. It is a real hoot.

GMoney said...

Should Pat Fitzgerald be on the hot seat? I mean, he isn't because who the hell would NW get that's better but should he be?

FYI, The Glory Hole is BACK! What a victory over a horrible Rockets team and alumni base.

Jeff said...

Even though Cole did come from the same program that produced the Brady Quinn I have seen enough to know that Deshaun is a fucking stud and Cole is just OK and he's white. It's too hard to keep a rythem in the uptempo offense anyway when you're switching QBs every series or 2. Throw the freshman in the fire in Tallahassee and let's see what happens. Worst case they lose like everyone expects them too. It will be valuable experience for a freshman.

G$, are you going to sit on Ace's lap at the game this weekend?

Nibbles said...

Fitzgerald is the ceiling for Northwestern. Firing him would be as bad as Glen Mason's firing.

Losing Venric Mark weeks before the start of the season is a killer for that program.

Big Ten is going to be a pillow fight this year, but I still think OSU can muscle through it. We'll get better from this.

T. Iceman said...

I watched what I could of the Ohio game since I was mostly concentrated on watching my team get destroyed. But you can't put 9/20 with 3 picks all on the o-line. I'm sure the line was partially at fault but I have to believe Barrett made plenty of bad decisions all on his own. And there's already one Ohio fan that agrees so I can't be as LOLZ wrong as Drew and Jeff are saying.

Who knows where the losses come from Drew? It could be anywhere at this point. I love how you're so damn positive Michigan has no shot against Ohio this year after the 2 very sub par games Ohio's had. You guys look almost as bad as Michigan does. LOLZ all you want but if virginia tech can walk into your house and butt fuck you up and down your field then Michigan can too.

T. Iceman said...

I agree that Pat Fitzgerald is probably the best Northwestern can do. I'm just tired of people slobbing his nub and calling him a good/great coach. He's not that good.

GMoney said...

Barrett can't throw and everyone knows it. The guy underthrows receivers even better than Denard did. Granted, he will get better, but right now no pass is a certainty with that limp-dicked military son chucking ducks.

Urban Meyer just needs more Percy Harvins.

Jeff, if you are guaranteeing that Kent State beats Ohio this weekend, then yes, I will sit on horny Santa's lap for the entire game.

Anonymous said...

Losing 3 out of 4 games for Ohio State is not acceptable (and the one win was not exactly a thing of beauty). It may be at places like Michigan, but not at Ohio State.

I keep hearing about this amazing talent that we are assembling on defense, but it's the same shit as last year. When does it get better?

Offensively, I definitely underestimated the loss of Braxton, the inexperienced OL, and the loss of Hyde. But, like on defense, all we heard was that there are so many playmakers on offense ready to be unleashed. Where the hell are they? Braxton covered up a lot of warts.

I'm probably overreacting and things aren't that bad, but it's been really frustrating these last 4 games. This team is probably good enough to win all the games on their schedule except MSU but who really knows at this point. And what is winning a bunch of B1G games going to do for us?

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Iceman...OSU is 9-1 against UM over the last decade with the sole UM win being against Fickell's team. ...so yeah...I'm gonna LOLZ at the thought of this Michigan team coming to Columbus and flipping that script until I see it.

Damman....I thought the defense played pretty well in the 2nd half as the DL started to get back there. Spence will be a nice addition as well. Hard to judge the offense at the moment until the OL reaches somewhere close to mediocre.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Randy Walker was a better coach than Pat Fitzgerald, so I don't think he's the ceiling.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Was Gary Barnett, too? I don't see Patty Cakes ever taking the Cats to Pasadena.

Love reading Ohio fans slowly turning on Captain Dildo. With every game they are getting closer and closer to deeming Urb OVERRATED.

Anonymous said...

I don't think many are turning on Meyer...I certainly am not. But, you listen to tards on sports radio so I could see where you could think such a thing.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Hoke is 0-14 in his career against ranked opponents on the road. Another strong sign that this Michigan team will win in Columbus.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I'm not turning on him either, but I don't think this team is where I expected it to be right now. Maybe I just have unrealistic expectations. I just think some of it has to fall on the coaching.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Damman...some of it definitely has to. I definitely don't think Coombs, Smith or Fickell's are ELITE. I'll give the season a few more weeks before judging Ash. I highly doubt Coombs is on the staff next year.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Coombs is all hat, no cattle. He talks a great game but has no fucking clue what he's doing. Jesus Christ, Bradley Roby actually looks like a future star now that he has someone coaching him.

I'm not really saying that there is a Fire Meyer mutiny but you can't deny being disappointed.

T. Iceman said...

Ohio also hadn't lost a home opener in 36 years before this season, Drew. Good thing Ohio is all about making history this year!

Anonymous said...

Being disappointed with what? The undefeated season? The longest winning streak in school history? 2-0 against Michigan? You're acting like he's going 6-6 each year. It sucked we lost to MSU last year, but it's not like they were mediocre. If we had lost to VT with Braxton it would have been devastating. It still sucked, but we already knew it was gonna be a different season. Now the focus needs to be to grow into a strong team by the end of the year and build toward next year which should be Meyer's best OSU team.

--Drew

Nibbles said...

G$'s just trying to deflect from Chuck Martin's loss Eastern Kentucky.

GO COLONELS

Anonymous said...

I think OSU's defensive woes can be fixed. VT was 7/10 on 3rd Down and had 70 yards passing on 3rd down in the 1st half, most of which was actually in the 1st quarter. Other than that, OSU tightened up and only allowed VT to convert 2/7 third downs in the 2nd half and only gave up 122 total yards in the 2nd half. OSU stopped the run pretty well all night other than the 41 yards rushing that were given up on consecutive plays in the VT's last offensive TD drive (OSU gave up 121 yds total). Outside of its first two TD drives, I never had the feeling that VT's offense dominated. I give credit to the Hokies for converting and taking care of business and I acknowledge that OSU's defense played a large part in this defeat, because it failed to play for 60 minutes. However, I view the defensive miscues as correctible.

The Buckeye offense is a completely different story. The OL cannot run block and struggled to do so against Navy until the 2nd half. Part of the offensive woes can be blamed on coaching, though. I am not going to pretend OSU can pass block, because it can't. However, 4 of the 7 sacks came on OSU's final two drives when it was driving to tie the game. VT was bringing one and sometimes two more rushers than OSU had blockers for nearly the entirety of both drives. The fact that OSU's staff did not adjust to this and run screens, quick slants, or other quickly developing plays is on the coaching staff. I don't care how good your OL is, you cannot block 7 with 5 for 3 seconds. Granted, Barrett should have thrown the ball quicker, but its hard to do so when all the routes take at least 3 seconds to develop. Further, I didn't seem like Barrett had the authority to audible. There were multiple running plays where OSU had an obvious numbers disadvantage at the point of attack, but Barrett ran the play anyway. To me, that falls on the coaches and the QB.

Overall, OSU's defense does not concern me too much and I feel it can right the ship in the next couple weeks. There are just too many holes in OSU's offense though at every position for me to have any faith that it will get better anytime soon.

GMoney said...

Zero national titles in three years AKA why he is here...FACT.

That's great that he can still murk the Big Ten! It's like a fat girl waving her trophy from the smell contest (ELITE reference). I was always under the impression that you were "better than that". It's title or bust and it has been since Urb came here. O for 3 is good for Brandon Inge, not for Captain Dildo.

DOMINANT LOGIC.

T. Iceman said...

Dominant logic, indeed. Don't forget 0-3 on Big 10 titles as well, G$.

Nibbles said...

We haven't even started conference play yet, so I don't see how he's gone 0-3 for Big Ten titles.

Jeff said...

Ohio State already lost the Big Ten title this year? News to me

Anonymous said...

So, you're counting a year...that he wasn't even allowed to win something your counting against him? Holy shit you are both retarded.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Yep. You turds were all about "AP NATTY CHAMPS, BRUH" and whatnot. Remember? I do. How could I forget? It was annoying as shit. Iceman is being premature on the failed Big Ten season though. He'll be right, but just not yet OBVZ.

Frank Beamer for Mayor of Columbus.

T. Iceman said...

You guys really think you're taking the Big 10 this year after what happened Saturday? Cute. At least I can be honest with myself about Michigan.

Anonymous said...

In related news, Meyer's 2012 OSU Football team also did not win the Stanley Cup.

--Drew

Nibbles said...

^ I LOL'd

MUfan said...

Drew mentioned it, but it was a wonderful day to be a Detroit sports fan yesterday. The Lions looked very impressive, especially Stafford. And zero penalties in the 2nd half - big improvement over the first.

But the sour taste of Miami losing to EKU is still lingering. I thought things were turning around after the Marshall game, but this sucks. I didn't see either game, but losing to EKU is just bad.

GMoney said...

Stafford was moving around like a non-Jared Lorenzen. It was strange.

MUFan, you should be thanking yourself for not watching on Saturday. It was not pleasant. However, EKU is predicted to finish FOURF in the OVC so you know that they are legit.

Urban is not allowed anywhere near the Stanley Cup. Him touching it would be worse than Bieber.