Thursday, August 14, 2014

Who's Ready For Some More Hot G$ On G$ Action!

Hard to argue that!  ELITE!
Mr. Ace is still on extended UNPAID leave from here which means that you're still getting another dose of BIG BUCKS today.  Seal should be a father at this point and that is cool as Hell.  You are now the proud owner (yeah, I said it) of someone who knows nothing about how bad all of your pro sports teams are!  Anyway, I asked GMoney to fire off a 6 pack of hot topics for G$ to answer today.  The results were--dare I say--ELITE!

GMoney: How are the baby and the dog coexisting?
G$: Much better than Israel and Palestine.  Current events!  Count it!  She$ sent me a text yesterday that the baby was doing her usual morning crying session and the dog went over to her and started making some sort of noise that She$ had never heard before.  And it worked!  The baby stopped crying.  I need to see this for myself to believe it but by all accounts, the two species are becoming best buds.  Then again, my wife could be on board with #IdeLies and that would make me very sad.

GMoney: Are the Tigers in trouble?
G$: For as pathetic as they have played in August, I'm going to say "not yet".  The problem with putting all of your financial eggs in one basket (starting pitching) is that when some of those eggs break, you're really fucked.  With Sanchez out for a little while and Verlander barely being a competent 5 starter, the offense and bullpen need to pick up the slack.  But that isn't happening because Joe Nathan continues to be hot pig shit and apparently Austin Jackson was the MVP of the offense.  I would have a lot more faith in this team if they were still managed by Joe Camel instead of Assmouth but I won't right them off yet.  That said, they need to flip that switch back on ASAP.

GMoney: Should Tom Watson add Tiger Woods to the US Ryder Cup Team?
G$: There aren't many people that support Tiger louder and prouder than I do but FUCK NO he shouldn't be on the team.  He wasn't even that great of a Ryder Cup player when he was 100% healthy and now he wants to be still be on the team at about 40%?  Who the hell would you even trust him to beat?

GMoney: How about that Mo'Ne Davis?  Are you impressed?
G$: In case you missed it, Mo'Ne is a 12 year old girl who is the best player on a team from Philly heading to the LLWS.  She throws around 70 mph.  That said, so what?  Little League baseball not played at Glenwood Park is irrelevant.  Cary Kolbe/Rachel Hill/Renee Wentzel or GTFO.  Those fine ladies didn't require unnecessary apostrophes to play LL Baseball at the highest level.

GMoney: Would you ever do the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge?
G$: No.  This is just like the cold water challenge from a few months ago, right?  The gist is you either donate to an ALS charity or dump a bucket of icy water on your head, I think.  I don't know...how about just donating money to a charity instead of coming up with elaborate ways to NOT donate money.  This is really stupid.  Oh sure, you might be thinking that people probably do the bucket AND donate but you know that that is not universal.  There are many people out there who are proud of themselves for just taking the ice bath and not losing any dollars.  For me, I will not help either cause.  I treat everyone equally like shit.

GMoney: Finally, why is Josh Gordon playing in preseason games?
G$: Beats the fucking hell out of me.  Shouldn't those reps be going to guys that--I don't know--might be relied upon for 8-16 games.  The best case scenario for Gordon is coming back week 9.  In other words, he isn't going to do much for the 2014 Browns if he plays at all.  So why are they putting him out there at all?  This makes no sense.

GMoney: BONUS QUESTION!  Li'l Strut, Damman, and Drew have turned in their portions for College Football Preview Week starting on 8/25.  Do you think that GSaul and The Wig Master will turn theirs in soon?
G$: No comment.

That will do it for me filling Ace's McCracken on this Thursday.  Tomorrow is OVERRATED Day for Fantasy Football Friday!  That's always a blast.  If you have any other questions to ask G$, feel free to fire away.  Just remember that there are such things as fucktarded questions.

43 comments:

Anonymous said...

Got some HOT TAKES on your Q&A...

#1) Your wife is just being a dumb woman...which is normal for women. My girlfriend has a friend at work who told me that when she watches sad TV shows/movies with her dog....her dog knows what's going on and cries during the sad moments. I looked at her like she had four heads.

#2) Agreed on your TAKE. Not worried yet, but they need to snap out of it ASAP. It would be less troublesome if Soria and Sanchez hadn't gone on the DL. Nathan is a fucking turd. While I respect Miggy for not missing games and never talking about injuries...it would be nice if he talked about what's ailing him in the midsection that has sapped his power so that we could at least know what is going on. I'm not a fan of this core surgery that he and Verlander had in the offseason.

#3) Tiger fucking sucks.

#4) Fuck Mo'Ne Davis. In 7th grade there was a girl in school named Jamie Stanley and her Dad caused a huge to fuss to make the school let his daughter try out for the boys basketball team. She wasn't even in very good....but, of course she "made" the team. Due to that little cunt being on our basketball team, I don't like girls on boys teams...even if Mo'Ne is good...she's still a little cunt.

#5) Agreed. I hate being pressured into doing shit/giving shit. I'll donate something if I want to...until then...you can save the buckets of ice you want me to dump on my head.

Browns fans do piss bucket challenges for hot dogs...LOLZ.

#6) I don't mind them letting him play...plus it gives the QB more confidence when he's got a talent like that out there.

#7) Yes.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Fuck beagles.

Ide

GMoney said...

Strong Mo'Ne Davis take from Drew! Well done.

How about that Ferguson PD? What a wild saga this is becoming. Police Chief Stalin is really trying to earn that nom for Money Shot Man of the Year!

GMoney said...

I don't think that it's unrealistic for the the dog to be fed up with the crying and wailing, going up to the crib, and making a mocking moan/groan at her hoping that it will silence her. That is just good leadership!

Or my wife could be so sleep-deprived and insane that she is making this shit up. That could be troubling.

Nibbles said...

If these guys don't turn their previews in, give me the reigns for one of them. I neglect all other sports just to focus on college football. So, my knowledge extends beyond going to ESPN and copy pasting bullshit from Ivan and Gene.

Anonymous said...

Been MIA for awhile because Mrs.
Ward is in the hospital but your blog on the cubs what ELITE. Rany Jazayerli wrote a similar article except he did actual research on the matter and provide some interesting statistics.

College football can't come soon. I believe wig master is still planning on doing his preview but if you need another contributor let me know. Need a little Notre Dame homer to offset all the Ohio fans.

Dogs doing some incredible things but I need evidence to believe this one. Not just the word of the mother.

Larry

Anonymous said...

I like that Nibbles and Larry are trying to overtake the slackers!

Mrs. Ward is my favorite woman attached to this blog, so I hope she gets better soon. Larry...not sure what's ailing your wife, but I'd look into a c-section as a possible fix for her.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

#5
What I despise is corporations strong arming employees into adopting their charities and doing work for them or giving money to them. I don't care about making my company look community minded. They are in business to make a profit for people who own the comp ay not to generate warm, fuzzy feelings.

Maybe you could do an upcoming posts in workplace annoyances. I bet you'd get a lot of responses for that.

Anonymous said...

She's doing well. She had surgery Tuesday to donated a kidney to a complete stranger. Hoping for her to be released today but if not I'll mention the c-section idea to the nurse.

Larry

GMoney said...

Does Mrs. Ward think she's better than us two kidney'ed studs? WTF? I would never EVER do that. I'm selfish like that.

Not sure how if this is FACT but I will try to make it so: if you only have one kidney then you can't be ELITE. Need bof, bruh.

Seriously though that is really admirable. Not as admirable as my terrific Cubs post though.

Plenty of time on the previews, bros, and I'm not worried. Just like to light fires under people's rumps.

Anonymous said...

Larry....

How does one think to themselves one day, "You know what...I'd like to donate a kidney to a complete stranger?". I'm interested as to how that comes to mind. Hopefully, she donated it to a dog...then she's even more of an ELITE dog person than Ape and I don't think we even thought she could be more of one.

--Drew

GMoney said...

BREAKING NEWS!!!

GSaul has resigned as contributor for College Football Preview Week citing that he achieved his goal of getting Duke into a major bowl game. Hard to argue that. There is nothing left to prove. He will leave a huge void that not even Danario Alexander can fill.

Nibbles and Lawrence have been contacted already.

Mr. Ace said...

Does she know why that complete stranger needs the kidney? Like do you as the donor get any say as to where your kidney goes are do you just sign up and they find a match for you and you donate? I would be very selective with my organs. Blacks only.

G$, I will return to my Thursday post beginning next week. It will probably only last 3 or 4 weeks and then I will need to take another break. So yeah.

GMoney said...

Jesus! You need to improve your bloggin' endurance. That said, DEAL!

My RedHawks Football season tickets arrived today. They probably made the baby cry.

T. Iceman said...

Jesus Christ, Larry. You've got yourself a keeper there.

I had what was called a Dana Rudolph on my little league team. To this day I don't know if it was a boy or girl. I'm not sure if anyone does.

Anonymous said...

How the idea of donating a kidney got in her head I will never know. She came to me one day and said I am donating a kidney. I said Okay, thinking this was just a phase and would pass over. A few months went by and nothing happen. Then one day she said she called the agency and scheduled an appointment to obtain more information. After that she was set on doing it. Once she completed all the test they said to let them know when she was ready and they will find a recipient for her. She told them in June that she was ready and towards the end of July they called and said they have a recipient.

She requested to donate to someone young but if they were unable to do that to just make sure it goes to someone who will appreciate it and not abuse it. They said they would do some research on the candidates and see what they can do. We met the person yesterday and it was simply an amazing moment. It is amazing hearing someone say "your wife saved my life"

Larry

GMoney said...

I disagree, Iceman. What if Larry needs a kidney one day? She already gave hers away. Oh well, he can always demand one from one of his bruhs in law. I'm sure that Wiggy or Lange will help him out.

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear you live life by the "what if" scenario G$

Larry

Anonymous said...

Ruh roh, if Mrs. Ward digs transplant scars, c-sections should be a walk through the park!

Ide

Prime99 said...

I hope that Mrs. Ward's kidney helps create (in the form of the receipiant) a new commenter here that will troll Ape on his dog care. Pay it forward.

That said, I hope she is ok.

Mo'Ne Davis doesn't throw with both hands, does she? No? Then she fucking sucks.

Cakes said...

-I'm looking forward to watching our new baby and the dogs coexist. I'm guessing I'll be ready to murder our skittish Whippet after the first week. That dog barks at everything.

-The Tigers will pull a winning streak out of their ass to make the playoffs because they are annoying. No worries though. They'll choke and fold in the playoffs like they always do. Then we can all laugh st the hoards of bandwaggon fans on social media.

-Tiger Woods needs to be as far away as possible from the Ryder Cup. He doesn't deserve it nor ie he good enough to be on the team. Simple.

-LOL at "unnecessary apostrophes". That fucking slayed me for some reason.

-I've seen a few of those ALS videos. I have no feelings either way. Dump Ice over your head and donate. Dump ice over your head and don't donate. WHATEVS.

-Why wouldn't we want Gordon playing? If and when he's suspended, you can't be around the team or in the facility. This might be the only game action he gets for months. Have to get those live reps when you can.

Prime99 said...

G$- did you see Baez go yard again yesterday? That dude is awesome. Feeling pride and excitement for the Cubs for the first time in years!

GMoney said...

Cakes, shouldn't those reps be going to someone that will actually be playing though? Game reps are few and far between in the preseason anyway. Shouldn't your terrible starting QB (whoever it may be) build a rapport with someone who is going to be there to catch all of those garbage time touchdowns?

I have not seen anything on FB about Seal being a dad yet. Jesus, is she still in labor? MY GOD.

Fake Cakes said...

I refuse to question anything the Cleveland Browns do as an organization. James Haslam knows what it means to protect the shield. I was with Josh Gordon when he got busted a second time with weed. It was my weed. RAWR RAWR RAWR

Anonymous said...

Baby Seal has made the FB appearance. The father marked this day, somberly, by wearing full on Indians gear. The kid looks disappointed.

Tiger has said he is not going to play in the Ryder Cup. No more takes are needed. GIVE IT A REST.

Ide

Cakes said...

Fake Cakes makes some good points.

I'm convinced that Gordon is only going to get half a season. He needs some live reps. OBVZ they shouldn't leave him in for the whole game. Those other guys need plays too but I'm OK with how they've approached it.

The rumors are flying around CLeveland that Hoyer may be on the block. There might be a deal for Andre Johnson in exchange for Hoyer and a 4th in the works. Don't know if I believe that but it's interesting nonetheless.

CONGRATS, Seal! One baby closer to completing TMS army.

T. Iceman said...

Pay no mind to Cakes. Gordon could be holding a severed head in one hand and the murder weapon in the other and Cakes would say, "Let's get that man in pads and on the field!"

Best case scenario, if Gordon sits the first 8 games, what the fuck do reps now matter? Is 4 weeks of preseason bullshit gonna matter at all 2 months from now? No. Gordon's not gonna be like "Well...I WOULD have been rusty if not for those 15 total series I played back in August. Thank God for those! Whew!!"

And for the record, this isn't a shot at the Browns or Gordon. It is 100% a shot at Cakes. Just in case you're cooking up some Iceman anti-Gordon anti-Browns response in your head.

GMoney said...

Yes, big ups to Papa Seal. The Indians gear was sad as fuck though.

Ide, I have to write these in the afternoon now. At the time, Tiger was still whining to be on the team. DEAL WITH IT.

Cakes is an idiot. Never forget.

Cakes said...

You're right, Iceman. Fuck me for wanting the Browns best player to actually, you know, play in football games. I'm the worst.

SIDE NOTE: "You're the worst" is a pretty good summer comedy. I dig it.

Anonymous said...

Cakes getting hot trade info from Sage Rosenfels. LULZ.

Ide

GMoney said...

No shit. That "rumor" is such a horrible lie.

But what do you expect from someone who doesn't get why Gordon shouldn't be taking first team reps since, you know, it's going to be at least 8 weeks before he can play. Let him practice while he can but the games are for actual players.

T. Iceman said...

Please enlighten me then, Cakes. Tell me exactly how a guy with freakish athletic ability is going to benefit from playing with the first string offense in a couple preseason games. I'm all ears.

When, in your life, have you done an activity...then quit for 2 months...then picked it back up and been just as good at it? Outside of being the worst and a raging homer, I'm gonna say never. So how is Josh Gordon going to benefit from taking first team reps, then not playing for two months? Consider how talented of a WR he is...does he even need reps? Probably not. I'd rather those first team reps go to guys who are actually going to be out there week one.

But by all means...keep wanting the Browns best player stealing reps he doesn't need in football games that don't matter. Makes perfect sense.

Cakes said...

It's a RUMOR. I clearly stated that. Don't shoot the messenger.

Cleveland radio talked about the possibility for my whole 30 min commute to work. Thought I would bring it up.

Cakes said...

So because he MIGHT be suspended, the Browns should just forget him completely? What's the downside of giving him a couple series in the preseason games to keep him sharp? The other fuckwads fighting for a roster spot have another 9 quarters to get reps. You're anger at this issue doesn't make any sense.

Maybe Iceman should just switch his allegiance to the Lions and become a full-blown traitor. Seems like that's where we're headed anyway.

T. Iceman said...

"Maybe Iceman should just switch his allegiance to the Lions and become a full-blown traitor. Seems like that's where we're headed anyway"

There it is. Your go to move. It's all you know when backed into a corner.

What do you mean "MIGHT" be suspended? Do you honestly believe Gordon will play a full season this year?

Anonymous said...

I'm not rooting for Iceman to change teams to Detroit. Jacksonville is the right call for his allegiance switch. He is already slowly stepping away from the Wolverine bandwagon. Which is a shame, because I always thought of him as the club foot of the Wolverine Retard Voltron we have that posts here.

When he does find a job training gators or raking cut grass, or whatever it is people down there do for work, I imagine he will align himself, locally, to Muschamp and the boys.

Ide

Cakes said...

PROVE ME WRONG, Iceman. Say one thing that you're excited about for the Browns upcoming season. Just one TAKE where you don't have diarrhea spewing out of your mouth concerning the team you allegedly like.

I just don't understand the hate. If the Browns fall flat on their face, I'll join you in your pitty party. Until then, I'll be excited about the upcoming season.

T. Iceman said...

Answer the question. Do you think Gordon be suspended? Yes or no?

T. Iceman said...

And I've said multiple positive things on here about the Browns. You just never catch them because you're too busy pointing out all the negative things I say in some obsessive never ending quest to prove that I'm not actually a Browns fan.

Cakes said...

"I'm convinced that Gordon is only going to get half a season."

Taken from my post at around 12:30. So yes, I think he'll be suspended. The only point I'm making is the longer and longer this plays out, the better the chance that he gets a small suspension or nothing at all. The NFL knows how stupid it looks after the Ray Rice fiasco. They also must take into account the levels of THC in his blood and the fact that the country is changing it's views on weed dramatically.

Refresh my memory. I must have missed all of your glowing endorsments of the Browns.

I don't have to be obsessive to point out your lack of Browns fandom. You do just fine on your own.

T. Iceman said...

So if you are "convinced" he's getting suspended at least a half a season...why in thee fuck are you so hell bent on Gordon getting preseason reps that literally won't matter?

And the notion that "it's more and more likely the NFL doesn't suspend him at all" is just flat dumb. Terrell Pryor was suspended 4 games for something he did in college. The NFL isn't going to let this one completely slide.

As far as the Browns...just this week I said I'm excited to see what Manziel can do with the starters in the next preseason game. Is that not good enough? Or do I have to record myself sucking off a Manziel blowup doll to convince you?

Anonymous said...

Yeah I don't recall Iceman ever saying anything positive about the Browns on here.

I don't think it matters either way with Gordon playing in these games. It may give Hoyer/Johnny some confidence so when they throw to shitty receivers they'll imagine they are throwing to Gordon. I know, I'm grasping at straws here. I just don't think it's a big deal.

I was born with only one kidney so one of my Money Shot brothers better be ready to step up in 20 years (or sooner) when I have fully destroyed this one.

-Damman

GMoney said...

I hate it when Cakes and Iceman get into their stupid tickle fights. Why couldn't War Machine "Chrisyy Mack" them???