Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Getting To Know Our New Enemy, JT Barrett!

No you do not.
It became officially official yesterday a little after noon that "Human Charlie Weis Gunt" Braxton Miller would miss all of the 2014 season due to the very common "fister's shoulder" injury.  The reaction of Ohio Buckeye fans has been fairly predictable.  Monday night, when Tim May's cornball ass broke the story, it was 100% "woe is me" and heartbreak.  And now we're back to the false and insane bravado that comes standard with all purchases of Ohio Buckeye fans.  They are a delusional lot.  They know that their already slim chances at a title this year are over.  Urban will fail again.  We all know it even if we all don't admit it.  The (shoot your) hopes and dreams of a miracle season now fall on the young shoulders of redshirt freshman JT Barrett.  Who is JT Barrett?  I'm glad that you asked!  How about some fun JT Barrett FACTS?

1. It does not appear that he is on Twitter.  Hmmm, that really hampered my research.  I was really hoping for some hot Ferguson, MO takes from the young lad that would make it seem like he wants all cops to die.  But I shall go wanting.

2. Up until Monday, he was battling Cardale Jones for the back-up QB job.  Cardale Jones is pretty bad and openly complained about being a student last year.  This isn't a good start.

3. Barrett had offers from LSU, Ole Miss, Arizona, Illinois, and Kansas State (probably others, too).  A man's man does not stiff Lester Miles AND Rich Rodriguez.  What a scumbag. 

4. He was a four star recruit out of Wichita Falls, TX.  I wonder if Wichita Falls is as neutral and unbiased as regular Wichita. 

5. Tom Herman says that his arm blows. He might as well.  When you openly say that the kid needs better arm STREMPH, you might as well just announce that you are running the wishbone.  You have to admit, it takes some balls to put a QB in there that can't throw.  Classic Urban Meyer!

6. Barrett has been arrested multiple times for selling drugs to police officers.  Not even undercover cops.  He just walks up to squad cars with bags of dope.  This section may not be true. 

7. JT redshirted last season due to knee surgery.  Well, if anyone knows a thing or two about QBs that are always hurt, it is this program!  I am not sure if he ever required a ride from the field to wherever in an ambulance though.

8. His actual name is John Thomas Barrett which is disappointing because I was hoping the JT would be more Key and Peele-like.  I'm pretty sure that he was named after Home Improvement star and 90's teenage heart-throb Jonathon Taylor Thomas.  What happened to that guy?  Tim Allen probably snorted him.

9. Ohio Buckeye fans are known for churning out the dumbest nicknames (have never come up with a good one).  The only decent option for JT Barrett is to steal from the WWE and call him Bad News Barrett.  You could even give him that stylish cape.  If I see a QB on the sideline in between series wearing a cape then you have my interest for life.

10. For as much as we like to rag on Broxton Milner around here for being a bitch, he might be the most valuable player in the country.  Ohio was in good shape to possibly do something this season but only if he stayed upright.  Now, who the fuck knows?  I'm sure that Barrett will be annoyingly efficient but that's hardly a lock.  The only GUARANSHEEDs for the 2014 Ohio Buckeyes is that you should definitely not be betting on their games and that they will have to lean on FagNasty Fickell's mediocre defense even more.  That is a terrifying thought.  Not for me though.  I heart everything about this.

BONUS! Wears #16 to honor Ryan Leaf!

So there you go...a little taste of the new Big Man On Campus in Columbus.  JT Barrett has gone from scout team to starter for a top 5 team in less than a week.  That's quite the leap.  I haven't seen a depth chart move like that since the Snizzity plucked Big Rex out of a mail bag and rode his ass to the regional finals!  Fuck Ohio.  You shit-stacks and Captain Dildo deserve this.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like Barrett a lot....he was one of my favorite recruits in his ELITE recruiting class a couple years ago. He's not huge or extremely fast...but, he moves well and throws a nice ball. He's also supposedly an ELITE leader...probz cuz' he grew up in a military family. I think him not having a twitter account is probably a positive.

At the time he committed to OSU he was the #1 Dual Threat QB in the nation and Longhorns fans are still mad at Mack Brown for taking Swoopes over Barrett.

I actually think and have thought that the reason that Cardale was "ahead" of Barrett on the depth chart was because they just didn't want him to transfer this year and really fuck up our depth if Braxton were to get hurt. Now it's too late for Cardale to transfer pretty much and Barrett's the head guy.

I don't expect him to be anything special this year, but I think he will at least look competent. Assuming Braxton does come back next year like he says he will (I don't think he really has any other option), I would think Barrett will be his Kenny G next season and give him breaks when needed. Could be a blessing in disguise as next year's OSU team is by far Urban's most loaded on both sides of the ball and will most likely be adding Braxton Miller to the fold. If this year's team was preseason top 5, with what's coming back next year they should be at least top 3.

As for expectations for this year now. As Damman stated they will still be favored in every game that isn't against MSU. That being said, I don't think they win every game other than MSU. The margin for error has gone way down. I'm expecting 9-3 or 10-2 for the regular season. It would be huge if they can make it out of September 4-0.

--Drew

Nibbles said...

With Barrett, we'll likely win and lose games we shouldn't.

I would not be the least bit surprised if we lose @ Penn State, but turn around and upset (yes, it will be an upset at this point) Michigan State.

Barrett just picked up the nickname, "The Distributor". His job is going to be essentially being Marcus Mariota 2 years ago. Get the ball to your first level read, else dump it off to a back out of the backfield. And that's only when he's not handing it off on jet sweeps, or reading the defensive end on choice plays.


LOL @ comment regarding this being Fickell's defense. Did you forget Chris Ash runs the show now?

Our underneath press with quarters is going to give us the second best defense in the conference this year.




Mr. Ace said...

I see 2-4 losses for the Buckeyes this year. Barrett is going to lose them a couple games this year that they wouldn't have lost with Brax. But I think the Fuckeyes have a ton of question marks on the team outside of QB anyways.

Also Braxton is the most OVERRATED 2 time B1G player of the year ever. I've never been a big fan of him as a QB, as I was squarely on #TeamSmoothJazz, so I can see Barrett being a better passer on the intermediate throws that Brax was typically awful at. But for this year that's the only upgrade I can see with Barrett> Brax.

I do think Barrett will come along nicely as the season goes, as long as his O-line allows him to(huge ?). And if he does and I'm a Fuckeye fan I don't want Brax back, other than to be some Wildcat/Weapon type of player. He's just not that good of a QB.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ not wanting Braxton back as a QB. I can't believe someone wouldn't think he doesn't make them a better team. If he would have played this year, he would have basically owned the OSU football record books at the end of the season. What a terrible player.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I'm not as down on Barrett as everyone else. Having said that, everyone else needs to step it up. Guiton and Miller bailed out a really spotty defense and receiving corps, and I'm not as confident that Barrett can do the same. However, I am withholding all HOT TAKES on the guy until he actually plays.

Oddly though, I have been way more excited for Browns football than OSU this year.

Ide

GMoney said...

Two straight years of shoulder surgeries doesn't even make it a lock that Broxton comes back next year and wins the starting job.

Military family! Way to go full Colin T/Simple Jack! Is he also a coaches son?

There doesn't appear to be a ton of veteran leadership on that offense unless Taylor Decker is waxing nostalgic about how his horrible play made Khalil Mack a top 5 pick last year. Barrett is going to have to grow up rather quickly.

Your Co-DCs and FICKELL and the guy that led the wonderful Bert Bielema 1-11 defense last season. Why not just hire Don Treadwell to complete the triumverate of shit.

The Distributor is predictably rotten. You guys are about as creative as tofu.

Manziel on the bench. Hoyer to start. Sounds about right. Pencil the Browns in for another top 5 pick. Then again, they were going there anyway.

GMoney said...

The only thing that matters to me is that you aren't going to win a national title for the 45th time in the last 46 years. #FireMeyer

I wonder if Damman will show up today after getting Twitter pounded by Indians pregame and postgame analyst Jason "Stansbury" Stanford last night.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Ide (never thought I would say that). Let's see what JT's got before we right off this season. The national championship is most likely out of the picture, but let's not forget that Ohio St won one with Craig Krenzel.

We would obviously welcome Braxton back next year, but let's say JT tears it up this year. It would make for some awkwardness next year.

Jason Stanford has the mental capacity of a 10 year old. I never watch Indians pre or post game shows because his "analysis" makes me want to punch a wall. I accidentally flipped over last night after the game in the middle of him saying something absurd and I couldn't let it go. I could have kept at him on Twitter but it would be like making fun of a mentally challenged little kid.

-Damman

GMoney said...

I was impressed that he replied. Dude must not get a lot of Twitter love which makes sense seeing that he works for STO and isn't Bruce Drennan. Stansbury was not going to let you get one over on him.

Still waiting on Nibbles and The Wig Master to offer their previews to the Gods. That does debut next week, fellas. Don't Dut me.

One thing that I know about JT Barrett is that he can't be worse than JD Lambert from Step By Step. Brandon Call was/is the worst. Why yes I have been watching Step By Step re-runs on The Hub while trying to get a baby to stop crying. Suzanne Somers FTW!

Anonymous said...

Damman....I don't foresee JT tearing it up...but, if he does I'm sure they would find a nice balance. Its not like Braxton's gonna be gone all year and then just show back up to push JT aside. They won't forget his presence.

--Drew

GMoney said...

It's a torn labrum, right? Let's not just assume that Prince Twat is going to come back the same or better. He might show up to Spring Ball throwing the rock like Cakes AKA a faggot OBVZ.

What I'm trying to say is that Milner is a luxury at this point and not necessarily a certainty. Barrett better work out.

I also want to applaud Cardale Jones again for playing barely at all last year but still complaining about having to go to class. Priorities!

T. Iceman said...

LOLZ @ anyone not thinking the excact same thing as me.

-Drew

Strarting Hoyer was the right move. As dumb as this may sound on the surface...Maziel flipping the bird Monday night may have been the final nail in the coffin for clipboard duties.

Anonymous said...

So, Iceman thinks a team would be better off without Braxton too? Really? Yeah...the guy who was just favored to win his third straight conference player of the year and could own an OSU record book. Come on son.

--Drew

T. Iceman said...

Did I say that? Nope. All I did was point out that you LOLZ everyone that doesn't think the same exact way you do. Heaven forbid anyone have a different opinion about the subject. Because both sides have merit.

GMoney said...

Lesbionest, the Ohio record book for QBs is more pathetic than Ide.

Cakes said...

National Titles are probably out of the picture this year but there isn't any reason we can't win the Big Ten. OBVZ @MSU under the lights is going to be really tough but it was going to be hard with Braxton in there anyway.

If there is a silver lining to this it's that Barrett and Cardale have been taking ALL of the first team reps since spring ball.

It sounded like Braxton was on the brink of major injury for awhile now. I know Urban an Co. were saying he was going to be 100% but the rumblings about the seriousness of Braxton's injury had been getting louder the past few weeks. His limited participation in camp was definitely raising eyebrows.

This is not an ideal situation but these guys are D1 recruits who were recruited to OHIO STATE. Time to WRECK THIS LEAGUE.

I have a friend who is fairly close to the football program and apparently Cardale Jones is not taking this decision well. Don't know how true this is but it seems to line up well with what I know about Cardale Jones.

Nibbles said...

"Lesbionest, the Ohio record book for QBs is more pathetic than Ide."

Braxton's feats become impressive when you consider he was on pace to ALSO be the second leading rusher in school history, despite being a QB.

This ain't Greg Frey / Bobby Hoying / Joe Germaine we're talking about here.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ Iceman. There is no merit in saying a team is better off without the best player in the conference. That's just LOLZ worthy stupidity.

Cakes...I have heard the same. Cardale is a slow person so that's why I've been thinking they gave him the "backup" job so he'd be content all summer...but when he got passed and Braxton got hurt in a matter of a few days...it's probably too much drama for his brain to compute. Now it's too late to transfer pretty much...they did well.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Is that a good thing that a QB is your second leading rusher in school history? Is that what you want? IMO that is not what anyone should want unless you are a service academy.

Just please GIVE IT A REST on the "we're going to be fine" nonsense. You had national title expectations this season (personally, I found that very dumb but whatever) and now those are over. FAILURE! PRE-EMPTIVE GUARANSHEED FAILURE!!!

Thanks for not sending those questions, Cakes. Go back to your hot Cardale goss. You're the worst.

Nibbles said...

Of course that's not what we want, but it doesn't change the fact that it's what we have been reduced to over the past three season.

There has been very little receiver talent around Braxton. He's been a running back that happens to know how to throw the ball.

The point that Iceman (and you to a lesser degree) seem to be missing is that the offense can handle more of a game manager than a guy that has to do everything. The line is obviously a concern, but has time to evolve until our first real challenge at Happy Valley.

By "going to be fine", I think we are all defining that as being in contention for the playoff. I think it's very likely we will stay in contention leading right up to the MSU game. How we handle that environment will determine whether are really a playoff team or not without Braxton.

Cakes said...

Sorry. I was out of the office in meetings yesterday and didn't get home until late. I'll get you a couple questions today if you still want them.

Didn't I just concede that a national title is out of the question? Yes, yes I did.

OSU still boasts the nastiest D line in the country, big-time weapons on offense (Wilson, Eilliot and Saumel) and they play in an average conference. The Big Ten is still up for grabs.

As Nibbles said, the offense will have to be adjusted to the strenghts of JT. They'll have to get the ball quickly to their playmakers in space and count on a strong running game. No doubt that losing Braxton is a huge blow but it's not a DEATH BLOW. They aren't going to cancel the season. The young guys just need to step up.

10-2 with hopes of getting to the Big Ten title game is a good goal this season.

T. Iceman said...

"National Titles are probably out of the picture this year but there isn't any reason we can't win the Big Ten."

You couldn't win the Big 10 with Braxton Miller but there isn't any reason you can't win it this year with a QB who has seen zero college football minutes? Just when I think it can't get worse...

Anonymous said...

"You couldn't win the Big 10 with Braxton Miller but there isn't any reason you can't win it this year with a QB who has seen zero college football minutes? Just when I think it can't get worse..."

2014 Iceman trolls are the least.

Ide

Nibbles said...

"You couldn't win the Big 10 with Braxton Miller but there isn't any reason you can't win it this year with a QB who has seen zero college football minutes? Just when I think it can't get worse..."

Believe it or not, there's more to playing the game of football than the quarterback position.

Our defense gave up 20 more points to Michigan State than Purdue did.

It is quite possible we can be a better team than last year even though we don't have Miller. If our secondary plays up to its talent with good coaching (which is the expectation), we won't need the offense as much as we have in the past few years.

That's exactly why there's a crystal football on campus from 2002.

T. Iceman said...

"It is quite possible we can be a better team than last year even though we don't have Miller."

Hey Drew...

"I can't believe someone wouldn't think he doesn't make them a better team."

There's at least one person. And he's a Buckeye fan. Better crank up the LOLZ machine on a fellow fan.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I see now.

Can we win the B1G without Miller? Yes.

Would we have a better shot with Miller? Yes.

Is it likely that we win the B1G? No.

Is it possible? Yes.

There you go, scooter. If you need anymore help figuring out the order of things, or needing words spelled out for you in a simple and concise way, just ask.

Ide

Nibbles said...

With last year's coaching on defense, I would agree with Drew.

Considering we have a new and better scheme that plays to our strengths, the terminology has been simplified for the linebackers, and our defensive line returns intact, I think the improvement of our defense will outweigh the regression of our offense due to the loss of Miller.

That's what will probably make us a better team this year than last. Not more talent, but better coaching.

GMoney said...

LOL BAD. Not even going to read through the rationale and excuses. Goin' winless this year, turd suckers! Trust me, it's a blast!

Now might be a pretty good time for Urban to fake another death. When the going gets tough, he usually just quits and makes his daughter write him another permission slip.

Obvious Buckeye Troll is the greatest character to play ever.

GMoney said...

Over my lunch hour, I was able to send an email to Cakes that just said...

You're fired.

I got to tell ya, it felt great. I recommend everyone firing him.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Damman and Ide. Let the kid play and then we will fairly judge his inabilities to bring a team down the field. Hasn't played in 2 years, so we will have to wait and see what he's got.
GMoney, your hatred for OSU is comical. It is approaching my hatred for those J Crew wearing douchebags from your alma mater who I competed against.

-Ohio Nate

Anonymous said...

Did I miss something? Was Cakes working here? I'm confused.

JT has a strong father figure and will be a success because of it. Also, he's from Texas which, in case you haven't heard, HAS NO STATE TAX. That's two big checkmarks in his favor.

-Damman

GMoney said...

Nope. He must be judged immediately what we know. And what we know is that this guy is a cocksucker who isn't even man enough to go by his christian name!

I was told to "let the kid play" when it came to party animal Johnny Football and he is buried on the bench now.

No one waits for TAEKS. They must be given high and hard and ASAP. That's a FACT.

GMoney said...

Ah but that works the other way. Who leaves a state packed with no state tax for a state WITH a hefty tax and no longer Bob Hefft? That makes me question his judgment as a leader of men. You don't just ignore tax thresholds unless you are a straight up amateur.

I asked Cakes three days ago to do something that would take him 4 seconds to do. He didn't. I canned his ass.

Anonymous said...

That mailbag line earned a hearty LOLz from me.

-Big Rex

GMoney said...

I figured it might.

Anonymous said...

Iceman....you dolt. He was saying the team could be better without Miller....not BECAUSE of no Miller.

--Drew

Cakes said...

I was devastated to learn that G$ had fired me from a job I never had. It was a real Cosmo Kramer moment.

Run the rock and give the kid safe throws. He'll be fine.

I love how Iceman compares this season to last season as if there weren't a million different variables that go into it. If Braxton couldn't win it last season, then JT has no shot! Never mind the different coaches, players and games that have to be played. IT"S OVER ALREADY! Hang em up boys.

Anonymous said...

Just another day of Iceman getting destroyed here at TMS.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

Iceman is the type of guy who waves goodbye to his friends.

Ide

Nibbles said...

"Iceman is the type of guy who waves goodbye to his friends."

Please don't forget this post when nominations for COY come out in December.

GMoney said...

Ha! That's a good LOL.

T. Iceman said...

I love how G$ and I have the same stance on Ohio football and you guys team up on me but don't say shit to him. Get his dick out of your asses.

Anonymous said...

^^ As a non-bias reader on this topic I have to agree with Iceman here... you guys are pussies when it comes to talking shit to G$.

I was hoping Drew would be crying behind his computer again today and too big of a cry baby to show up like yesterday...

WAit for it, wait for it.... LOLZ right Drew???

Seal

Anonymous said...

G$ doesn't have a horse in this race and is widely ignored. He doesn't pretend to like a team with a storied history, so he pokes fun at teams greater than his (every team). He is the kid in the wheelchair laughing at people for not being able to dunk. We know this and ignore it.

Iceman tries to be this bad. G$ says retarded things like, "DURR UR GONNA LOSE EVERY GAME, HAR", and we skim past it. Iceman actually tries to pick a battle, horrendously, and defend this position he has that is held up of logic made of toothpicks.

Ide

Anonymous said...

He is the kid in the wheelchair laughing at people for not being able to dunk.

Awesome. Thank you for this, Ide.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Its late & likely that nobody will read this, but I'm going to comment anyway... The loss of Braxton Miller is huge. There is no way of overstating this point. He is/was arguably one of the best players in the country & as G$ previously stated maybe the most important player to any team in the country....

However, Ohio State has A LOT of talent at positions outside of the quarterback that will keep us in every game & likely be good enough to compete for the B10 & even the national title.

2013 final AP poll...1. Florida State, 2. Auburn, 3. Michigan State....
What did these 3 schools have in common? Every one of them started a 1st year quarterback.

I'm not near as confident in this Buckeye team running the table & making the inaugural playoff as I was on Sunday, but to completely write them off is as absurd as picking michigan to win the B10 east.

Drew was right in his assertion that gettin through September 4-0 would be huge. Navy, Va Tech, & UC are each formidable in their own way, but definitely all beatable...

Go Bucks!!

Burke