Friday, August 15, 2014

Fantasy Football Friday: O-VER-RATED!

"Gronk and Damman have a lot in common apparently"--what everyone is thinking
Oh baby!  After two years of shoddy commissionermanship (it was awful), the LFL once again gathers our entire brain trust and Rules Committee into one Dungeon of Doom (Dut's Den or whatever that is called) and does an actual live auction draft tomorrow.  It's been too long.  While Lange may blatantly cheat to steal my rightful titles, at least he had the balls to make everyone show up.  This is where I shine (like paint, Daddy, it's our Summer).  Online auctions are fine but it isn't the same.  Being able to Incognito the rest of the league with your ELITE bully drafting skills is such a rush.  It's like the WSOP Main Event except LFL glory means more because of Fleshlights.  I can't wait.  Golf at Royal Minerva and a Draft and a full 12 hours without hearing a baby cry...ELITE.  I can hardly contain myself.

Last week, I listed my underrated fantasy players for the upcoming season and everyone pretty much agreed with me.  That was very much unexpected but it makes sense seeing that I am never wrong.  But now let's talk about the OVERRATED players.  If you recall, this was the post in which Iceman truly embarrassed himself (but probably not as much as when LeBron signed on to come home and he whined about Cavs fans not deserving him...LOL!).

QB - Nick Foles (ESPN ranked #8 QB).  I spent a good chunk of my Wednesday morning pouring through depth charts and preseason rankings and I could not believe how much most people are buying into this guy.  THIS.  GUY.  SUCKS.  If you can't see a fluke when it is right in front of your nose then you must be more blind than me (very blind).  But what about Chip's offense, you say!  Who cares?  His offense has always been based around a fast as fuck running game.  The quarterback doesn't really matter all that much.  Who the hell is he throwing to?  Maclin is already hurt again and is a terrible #1 receiver.  Riley Cooper is awful at everything but n*****-fighting.  Jordan Maffews?  LOL!  Mark my words, Foles will blow this season and will likely get benched.  2013 Pick: Tom Brady (nailed it)

RB - Marshawn Lynch (ESPN ranked #5 RB).  Nope.  I want nothing to do with him.  It's widely known that the Seahawks are going to cut his carries way down this season which I wouldn't worry too much about because his RB brethren sort of suck.  But when was the last time that a holdout didn't completely eat shit?  It's been awhile.  Lynch has also taken quite a few hits on that uneducated body of his.  This feels like a guy that you should let others fight over.  He might be a solid running back still but I could easily see bust.  Also, don't draft Arian Foster.  2013 Pick: CJ Spiller (another win for G$)

WR - Pierre Garcon and DeSean Jackson (ESPN ranked #14 and #15 WR).  By all intents and purposes, the Redskins offense should be nearly unstoppable this season.  And that is why I am terrified.  They have fantastic weapons all over the field including Andre Roberts in the slot, Jordan Reed at TE, and AlfMo getting the bulk of the carries.  But even if it is a lethal offense, there are only so many passes to catch.  Garcon led the league in catches last season (true story!) and DeSean is a playmaker unlike anyone we've had in DC in a long time.  But they are going to cut into each others production.  I am not saying that these guys are untouchable but I think that both will have lesser numbers this season than in 2013. 2013 Pick: The Broncos Three Receivers (gonna give myself a miss on that one...yeesh)

TE - Rob Gronkowski (ESPN ranked #3 TE).  Gronk has been a staple of gonorrhea on my DFL/LFL team for the last three years.  No more.  You can't trust him to stay on the field.  If I wanted a guy that was always hurt, I would draft FagNasty.  Someone will spend gigantic money on Gronk tomorrow not realizing that he still isn't cleared for contact and guys coming off torn ACLs usually don't do much.  Try not to be that guy.  Dump him on Dut.  2013 Pick: Tony Gonzalez (must have been a good call because dude retired)

K - Kai Forbath (ESPN ranked Who Gives A Shit).  You shouldn't be drafting My Guy Kai anyway but he is probably going to lose his job and get cut anyway.  It's hard to call a kicker OVERRATED now that Nate Kaeding is retired.  OH HAMBURGERS!  2013 Pick: Mason Crosby (he has a stupid name)

DEF - Seattle (ESPN ranked #1 defense).  Don't be the guy that spend 4 bucks on a defense.  Yes, you want a good one but the difference between the #1 and #8 isn't all that great.  There is no way to tell which one will have a lot of pick sixes so just play match-ups every week and let Commenter Daniel embarrass himself by up-bidding Richard Sherman.  Last year's pick: Chicago (HIT!  They were terrible!)

Some big time names on this year's OVERRATED list.  I don't anticipate much disagreement though as all of my logic is rock solid.  What I do anticipate is me dominating the War Room tomorrow the likes of which have never been seen.  Might even steal a kidney or two.  I'll see a good chunk of you at Augusta North in the morning.

20 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

BOOM BIG TYMER'D

So you don't think Garcon or DJax end up as top 15 wrs? I think they are.

Fucking Christ, Foles isn't getting benched. Will he regress? Sure. But that's what happens when you go 27-2. I think he will be top 10. Another year in the Chip Kelly system for everybody will make our offense even better. We are gonna murk the east.

GMoney said...

I don't think that both will. Roberts and Reed are going to get a ton of catches, too, and I just don't see the Fat Gruden Bro dropping back to pass 40 times per game.

Sanchez > Mark Barkley > Foles

Lane Johnson should take more drugs.

Nibbles said...

I can't really decide whether G$ is trolling everybody to get to some (not all) of these guys himself.

I don't see him drafting Foles, but could definitely see him picking up Desean Jackson after everybody's stupid enough to take his advice and let him fall into value territory.

Thinking G$ is looking out for your fantasy interests is like leaving your kid with Casey Anthony.

Jeff said...

Nibs is on to something. Ironic how the overrated post comes out the day before the draft so it's fresh in everyone's minds.

GMoney said...

Underrated has always come before OVERRATED. I don't give you guys the full sample but I have no problem showing you 'mos a ball or two to whet your appetites.

I've been doing this for years now and I've never been more successful on the fantasy gridiron so it doesn't matter.

I'm not sure if I ever told this but when I won my OTHER LEAGUE, I inquired about getting a float for myself during the Henry County Fair Tomato Parade. Man, that would have been sweet. Sitting on the back of someone's truck, ignoring the peons, basking in my own greatness, cruising through the grandstand, and being all sorts of ELITE. I should have made a bigger push to get that done. It was a terrific idea and an ultimate troll move to the rest of that league.

All that said, every guy that I called OVERRATED last year was not drafted on any of my four teams (I did trade for Welker in the G$FL and he almost immediately got his brains scrambled).

Prime99 said...

Since I already have Marshawn and Doug Martin, I'm either smart or just fielded the worst team ever. Hmmm

GMoney said...

Rodgers can cover some of that uneven play from Lynch.

The important thing to remember is that LOL the Cowboys were on Big Brother last night! Don't draft any Cowboys. They clearly make really bad decisions.

Cakes said...

I feel validated. I let Marshawn walk as my keeper on another team. Skittles can only take you so far.

GMoney said...

Well, who did you keep in his place? If it was Ben Tate then you still suck. It was Ben Tate, wasn't it?

By the way, in my other league, I decided to keep Gio over Le'Veon to go with TY. That's a really good RB2 and a damn solid WR2 for dirt cheap.

Prime99 said...

Just watched a piece on OJ Brigance living with ALS (former Raven). It was very well done. However, I kept wanting someone to ask him if Joe Flacco is ELITE and have him answer through his voice box.

Anonymous said...

When it comes to auction drafts, no one is overrated or underrated. We all have set values as to what we would pay. Just don't overpay for someone because you don't want the other team to get them. It's simple.

----Lange

GMoney said...

That doesn't make any sense. If the national experts tell you that Terrelle Pryor is worth $20 and you don't think he's worth 20 cents then he is OVERRATED.

Keep cheatin', bruh.

Anonymous said...

Over valued, Bruh.

----Lange

Anonymous said...

I'm just saying when it comes to auctions everyone is on the table.. if the value is right.

GMoney said...

Not Mark Ingram. He is never on anyone's table.

Cakes said...

Ben Tate would've been an amazing keeper! Between him and West, VICTORY IS ASSURED! But alas, I kept neck aids favorite target instead.

Drafts are fun if you can get everyone together but they should still play out on the computer. Trying to keep track of lists and who's been picked without a computron is ridiculous. SEE BASEBALL DRAFT.

GMoney said...

#browns have never wanted to send Manziel into the lion's den of Pittsburgh sept 7. JFF will have to make it impossible for them to sit him — Mary Kay Cabot (@MaryKayCabot) August 15, 2014

WTF? God, the Browns are such pussies.

GMoney said...

Oh how always wrong you are. The organized should be rewarded for paying attention and running a great budget. You should be able to cross off names and subtract your cap without having a nuclear meltdown.

Tomorrow, I will be just that...ELITE.

Cakes said...

You always yell at me for quoting Grossi and now you throw Mary Kay in my face? LAME.

It does sound like Hoyer is going to start though. We'll see what happens Monday. They'll probably both tear up those racists in DC.

GMoney said...

It is just so SMH that the organization is PUBLICLY afraid of a little above average defense.