Monday, August 18, 2014

Complimenting Notre Dame? WTF?

Only a true Michigan Man would greet a rape victim that committed suicide
As we all celebrate the greatness of Saturday's LFL Draft and my incredibly ELITE team (Breesus AND All Day!), it's important to focus on what is really important...scandal at Notre Dame!  YES!  What is better than Brian Kelly and those sanctimonious, greedy priests eating shit?  Not much IMO.  Friday evening, Jack Swarbrick and Father Jenkins stood in front of the microphones, answered exactly zero questions, and said that the school was investigating academic fraud.  Four (black) players have been suspended from the team at the time of this post until the case is resolved.

First things first...LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!  FUCK YOU, NOTRE DAME!  You are always cheatin' and being bad at it!  At least your red-faced troll coach can use this as an excuse for your forthcoming 7-5 season!  How many students will die to make up for this?

Secondly, good for them.  Yes, I said it and I mean it.  I may be old-fashioned here but I will not apologize for that: college football players are asked to do so very little.  You play your ass off and you take the bare minimum amount of classes to stay eligible so that you can keep playing your ass off.  If you can't even handle that then go fuck yourself.  Yes, the notion of the "student-athlete" has lessened drastically over the years.  Hell, you don't even have to be able to read to play at Mississippi State.  But I like the few programs that still take the classroom seriously.  I like that a few schools still want to be an institution for higher learning as opposed to a football factory.  The FACT that Stanford Football can maintain their high standards while also playing STANFORD FOOTBALL (most of the time, right, Jesse?) in a way makes them one of the most impressive programs in the country.

I get it.  This is a really outdated way of thinking but Commenter Daniel will likely back this up: it isn't that hard to go to class and do your homework while also playing football at the FBS level.  This is just one more reason why college athletes shouldn't be paid.  When you give them an inch, they will ALWAYS take a mile.  These four kids from Notre Dame likely had a little help on one assignment at some point and then eventually found the right people that would just do it for them. And now they will leave South Bend maybe never to return.  College football players should be treated like children. It's OK to give them a small allowance/stipend but you don't ever just hand them your wallet.  Why?  Because they can't be trusted.  FACT.

So good for Notre Dame.  For as holier than thou as they always act (and Holy Hell on Sundays, eh, Gordo...DERP!), at least they sometimes back it up.  They don't give a fuck about human life but don't you dare disrespect Economics class!  There's nothing wrong with having high standards.  Plus, it usually results in mediocre football teams and that is always welcomed.

One more thing: can someone who follows what is going on with the Power 5 conferences actually walk us through what it all means?  I keep hearing that the Big 'Uns are slowly but surely booting the Bottom 6 from having any decision-making power at all but what does that mean?  If you are going to sit here and tell me that the Big 5 programs are only going to play other Big 5 programs and freeze the others out then LULZ to you.  That isn't going to happen ever and I don't care what Geno Smiff and Captain Dildo say.  You want to know the two big reasons why the SEC will never stop playing the Sun Belt?

1. Coaches and ADs like easy wins because their record means everything.  Do you really think that Tennessee wants to play an SEC schedule AND four games against other big 5 teams?  They will never be bowl eligible and everyone is going to get fired.
2. You like having 8 home games, don't you?  That is a lot of money coming in with very little risk.  Phase the MAC out of the Big Ten and enjoy playing 6 home/road games every season.  You're barely a major conference as is, try playing on the road twice as much and see how that national perceptions changes.

It sounds great and it is what fans want to hear but the little guys are going nowhere.  You pay them for the win and everybody goes home a winner.  It's been that way for years and that isn't going to change.  If you only need to win your conference to get into the playoffs (more or less), then it does no one any good to load your schedule with Washington, @ Florida, @ Kansas State, and NC State on top of the Big Ten schedule.  For as cool as the playoff is, I'm not sold that it makes teams schedule tougher in the non-con.  I guess we'll see about that.  Either way, if someone could clear up the Big 5 power move and its impact, I would appreciate it.

That will do it for me today.  If you need me, I will be tailgating for tonight's YUGE Monday Night Football Preseason Johnny Football Wankfest!  Skins gonna kill you!!! 


Anonymous said...

The Power 5 ruling is just allowing the big conferences to start making their own rules on things like stipends, money spent recruiting, etc. It has nothing to do with scheduling....but, the rich just got A LOT richer.


GMoney said...

I now they just legally have the right to do what they have been doing for years anyway?

But I will still fight you to the death over your assertment that Ohio Buckeyes are done scheduling the MAC. Maybe for a few years but you're never getting rid of #MACtion permanently because once you go MAC, at least we're not black.

We were talking about ND in our three person scramble team on Saturday (Dut, Daniel, and myself). Listening to Daniel try to pronounce the names of the suspended truly was remarkable. Jeff and Larry won. That's cool since they will finish 13 and 14 in the LFL.

The Dave/Ide rivalry that began on Saturday could be something to keep an eye on. Dave is an Iceman Guy so watch out for that. $25 for Bishop Sankey! He is not $16 better than mah boy E-Deck!


GMoney said...

By the way, I sat between Ide and Dut for five hours on Saturday and lived to tell about it. I should probably be your kid's hero.

Grumpy said...

The end of the NCAA Iis coming. The Power 5 will make their own rules and the little guys will form their own association.

Anonymous said...

Dave apparently takes zero guff when it comes to Greg Olsen.

Sitting next to the two of us had to be better than Nate's spot in between Dan and Damman. The former of which spilled his dip cup on Dut's floor (lol).

Bishop Sankey is the new meta.


Anonymous said...

Dut's stable of RBs is certainly impressive.

Greg Olsen and Bishop Sankey were the runaway stars of the draft. Also, Nate/Grant's color coated spreadsheet.

Scheduling is going to play a big part of this playoff. You can't be loading up with the Miami Ohio's of the world if you want to make the playoffs, espeicially if you play in the B1G. It won't go away completely though. Bucks play Kent St this year and I believe BG next year.


Nibbles said...

I don't get the hate on Sankey.

Guy was school record holder at Washington. Offensive line has been shored up with two first round draft picks last two years.

At the end of the season, $25 will be considered value.

Nibbles said...

Also, impressions of my first LOLFL draft:

-Only one person officially welcomed me to the league and that was Ide. Either Ide also lies about how much of an asshole he is, or everybody else I associate with are truly terrible human beings.

-I'm surprise Rex isn't getting more talk about bringing family values back to the Fantasy Football Draft. Refusing to bid on Ray Rice / FANTASY CANCER was smart.

-I do recall smelling Wintergreen throughout the draft, and thinking Dut had a dog that was shitting on the floor. Turns out it was Daniel's chawdaddy.

-Greg Olsen is worth fighting for.

-Larry succumbs to peer pressure.

Anonymous said...

I think whoever finishes in dead last of the G$FL this year should have to walk the streets of Ferguson, MO for an entire night.


T. Iceman said...

Is this year's Bishop Sankey last year's MontEEEEEE Ball?

I'm not sure how much Dave paid for Olsen...but considering Cam Juice has his option of Olsen, a sloth footed rookie WR slower than a lineman or a bunch of fucking geezers...Olsen looks to be in line for a huge year.

GMoney said...

The Panthers were 29th in passing last year anyway so let's not act like Cam is going to be that much worse now that Ice Up, Son is gone. Olsen is a stud but not as studly as he went for on Saturday.

Nibs, you were not welcomed by me because I just pictured you as Grant with a Nibbles costume on. Were you "draft only" or do you have any say on the day to day operations of the old The Moops franchise?

I spent $17 on Trent Richardson and that wasn't even one of the 20 most aggregious money wastes of the night. 17 bucks for a starting RB (even one that blows) isn't bad in a 14 team league anyway.

Scheduling won't matter to most. The SEC isn't going to change their practices on scheduling GUARANSHEED. The only teams that should are the dog shit Big Ten teams who won't get any bump at all from in-conference play. So it will be a regional shift in scheduling theory, not national.

Nibbles said...

I thought I made my role and Grant's pretty clear.

-Grant was tasked with doling out Green Checkmarks, Red X's, and Yellow Exclamation Marks to our guys after tiering them out.

-Grant also provided his opinion on how I should draft.

I pretty much did the exact opposite of what he wanted and according to him, misunderstood what his symbols meant. But, these things usually work out in the end.

Anonymous said...

You draft did got go according to plan. Probably because I was still on a high from the dominating golf performance me and Grogan out on.

Can we hire a babysitter for Daniel at next years draft? He added at least an hour to this draft by being clueless.

Too early to comment on th e notre dame situation but if Kelly is involved, hegone.


GMoney said...

I think that the time is right to bring back a head-coaching combo of Ty Willingham and Charlie Weis AKA Black Thunder/White Thunder Thighs.

T. Iceman said...

You paid $17 dollars for 1.7 YPC. Nice work.

GMoney said...

Didn't say it was wise. But it was necessary. Maybe being mentored by me will correct him of his stereotypical laziness. Doubtful.

Cakes said...

The fact that G$ drafted Gordon is awesome. Every message I've seen from him since has included FREE GORDON. I'm gald we have another terrible human being in the Gordon camp. Apparently a decision is expected this week but don't hold your breath.

I went to Cleveland yesterday to witness two hits. TWO GODDAMN HITS. At least I got drunk and saw a couple get thrown out for borderline domestic violence. My father and I agreed that she had some ELITE tits though.

Prime99 said...

I picked up Gordon also- FREE GORDON! Prtty unfare imo.

So glad to have fantasy talk now. Overpaying for Greg Olsen is an ELITE move- for me to poop on!

Anonymous said...

Overall the LFL weekend getaway went smooth. Golf at the final Minerva Classic was bittersweet. No front 10 will ever equal that greatness. Props to Rex for donating $5 for drinking my liquor. You all could learn something. My mini bar set up was elite.

As for the draft, the only team I think is on top is Mr. Ace, otherwise there are glaring holes on everyone's rosters. Live drafts are heads and shoulders above online. I already can't wait til next year.

I cannot wait for the MS FL draft.


GMoney said...

Don't count out Minerva yet. I thought that that real estate thing fell through.

I don't have holes outside of MAYBE Flex. And I've got that Rusty Dubs or maybe even Brees chip to bolster DEPF issues.

If Gordon only gets 8 games AS HE SHOULD (no suspension at all IMO!), I will be going into the playoffs as the one seed with Brees/Peterson/Gordon/Edelman Four Horsemen. Good luck beating that.

Anonymous said...

Duts has Four Horsemen. All running backs.

Nibbles says Im nicer in person while Larry stated I was a bigger asshole in person. Larry sucks.