Friday, August 29, 2014

CFB Preview Day 5: The Champion

"Hello, is Stan there?" "Stan who?" "STANFORD FOOTBALL, BITCH!"
We made it. The football season is back and we no longer have to pretend to be interested in other sports (until the CBJ and Cavs start again OBVZ).  Sure, there were games played already but Preview Week is still going on which means that those in the books don't even count until now.  Today, our panel of experts crown their champions and G$ unloads his inaugural MAC Glory Hole of the Week 2014.  Thanks to all of our contributors this year by the way (especially G$).  Iceman will be back on Tuesday to break down Michigan's loss to Alpo State again.  That should be fun.

Li'l Strut: #1 Florida State vs. #4 Michigan State – Florida State will cruise through its schedule 13-0 and run away with the ACC Championship, again. The Seminoles actually have a chance to be better this year than last year, especially on offense, which is scary. Michigan State will enter the game as B1G Champs at 12-1 after losing an early season contest at Oregon. The Spartans will give Florida State its toughest contest yet, but FSU wins. FLORIDA STATE 31-20.
#2 Auburn vs. #3 STANFORD FOOTBALL – Looking at the schedules, I would be surprised if any team other than Florida State from a Power Five Conference goes undefeated this year. That being said Auburn will enter the game 12-1 as the SEC Champion. Stanford will arrive with a 12-1 record and as the PAC 12 Champ after dropping a game it should not have, but winning all the big games. This will be an epic game, especially with how tough STANFORD FOOTBALL has played against spread options like Oregon, but Auburn’s athleticism will win in the end. AUBURN 27-21.
National Championship Game – #1 Florida State vs. #2 Auburn – I know. This rematch would be a nightmare, which could only be exceeded by an All-SEC title game. This game will be different, though. Auburn’s defense will be improved and will not repeat last year’s mistakes. FSU will fall short in its bid to repeat. AUBURN 35 – 31.

Damman: Man, how fun is this going to be? An actual playoff in college football? New Year’s Day is going to be the ultimate hangover cure with two playoff games. The matchups will be #1 Florida State vs #4 Ohio State and #2 UCLA vs #3 Alabama. FSU will run the table and be a slam dunk #1. UCLA will also run the table. Alabama will lose one along the way but still win the SEC and get in. My beloved Buckeyes will lose in OT at Penn St in a heartbreaker but will have wins over 3 10-win teams (Navy, Michigan State and Wisconsin in the conference title game) and along with strong year from the B1G will make it. I have FSU beating Ohio St (reverse psychology) and UCLA beating Alabama. FSU will repeat as champions over UCLA. They are just too loaded.

Drew: Florida State - Most talented team in college football with the best player in college football.
Ohio State - Most talented team in the B1G and by far the fastest team in the B1G. The speed that Meyer promised is now coming into place and I think it's going to make the conference look very slow. Improved down with a pretty weak schedule outside of @MSU at night...they should be in the playoff.
Oklahoma - I see them running that schedule. I know G$ likes to hate on Stoops...but, I see him taking this team to the playoff.
Alabama - Still loaded...OBVZ if they lose @ Tennessee they won't be in this like my HOT TAKE...but, their schedule is weak. They should make it as one SEC team definitely will.
Champion - Florida State.....Back to Back. Too much talent.

Larry: (Bama, Ohio, Stanford and Oklahoma). In the first ever playoff Stanford will take down Bama. It’s a proven fact that when Stanford plays STANFORD FOOTBALL they cannot lose and they will be able to match Bama’s strength on the Oline and Dline which will lead them to a win. Stanford 21, Bama 17.

South Carolina - Getting rid of Clowney was addition by subtraction and we need one more hilarious run at the top by Ol' Ball Coach
Baylor - Bryce Petty isn't winning the Heisman if they aren't in the tournament
Michigan State - Best program in the Big Ten and no one else comes close
Champion - STANFORD FOOTBALL over Baylor...too much STANFORD FOOTBALL.  I have it on good authority that we're going to get 15 straight STANFORD FOOTBALL games this Fall.

Nibbles: Auburn - Auburn faces much less competition in the SEC West due to Alabama losing 2/3rd’s of their defense and starting quarterback. Ole Miss should challenge, while A&M takes a step back. The SEC title game should be a cakewalk with the East still being weak.
Florida State - The conference schedule is pathetic with only one ranked opponent in Clemson. Oklahoma State and Notre Dame add some non-conference strength, but neither have the horses to keep up with an offense of Winston, Karlos Willliams, Rashad Greene, and Nick O’Leary. The defense returns 6 starters from last year with experience to fill the gaps.
Michigan State - The conference schedule works well for MSU, getting Michigan and OSU at home. Playing at Eugene in Week 3 will tell us everything we need to know about the Spartans this year. I’m putting my money on the offense moving the ball better this year with 7 of 11 returning starters (including Cook and Langford). The defense lost 6 to graduation, but returns the nation’s best defensive end in Shlique Calhoun as well as half of last year’s No Fly Zone secondary that ranked #3 in pass defense.
Oklahoma - The out of conference is a cakewalk with Louisiana Tech, Tulsa, and Tennessee. In conference ranked opponents include Kansas State and Baylor. The team returns most of the defense as well as Trevor Knight who comes off of a huge performance against Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. 4 out of 5 offensive lineman return, paving the way for an easy path to the playoff.
National Champion – Oklahoma. I would expect a Florida State / Michigan State matchup with FSU’s balanced offense having no trouble in moving the ball enough to outpace MSU’s conservative offense. The FSU defense returns too much talent and experience to give the Spartan offense room to make plays. Oklahoma will overtake Auburn with a defense that returns 9 of 11 and was ranked 22 in scoring defense last year.  A Florida State and Oklahoma matchup favors Oklahoma whose defense will be tested against the high powered offenses of the Big 12, as well as Auburn in the prior week. To pull off the upset, the offense will require as good of a performance as it showed against Auburn a year prior. The conversion of Blake Bell to TE this year will provide an additional weapon that defenses (including FSU’s) will have difficulties defending.

The Wig Master: In no particular order, the playoff teams: Florida St (sneaks in after a loss to Florida), Oregon, Alabama, and Baylor.
Oregon wins the 2014 National Championship. It’s time to finish the job for the Ducks. I am hesitant to commit, but you can only be on the doorstep for so long before you finally break on through. Besides, I am interested in what Nike has to roll out for the playoffs. Well, that’s all for me. The pleasure, once again, GMoney, was all mine. See you all on Full Beer Day, January 1, 2015.

Great work, gentlemen, but it's time for me to drop trou on you and make some money.  Yes, peeps, it is the return of the MAC Glory Hole of the Week!  If you doubt my superpower of predicting MAC football games against the spread then you must hate winning 74% of your bets.  Yes, I went 10-3.5 last year.  Not sure what the half was for but I'll take it.  To start off the season right, we must pick against a team that has 14 freshmen on their two deep including a true freshman QB.  That's why I'm taking Purdue -10 at home vs. Western Michigan.  Purdue was awful last year but Darrell Hazell can coach and getting off to a good start in 2014 will be big.  They take care of the Broncos easily on Saturday.  But if they don't, WHOA, he's going to be on a hot seat already.

I'll be in Oxford tomorrow enjoying the shit out of life and taking my kid to her first football game.  MUCK FARSHALL.  But before we get to that...BEAT DEFIANCE!  C-A-T-S C-A-T-S C-A-T-S CA-TS CATS CATS CATS!  That's how we rip off a set of Cat-Jacks on the internet, bitch.


Jeff said...

That bloodbath in columbia last night was glorious. Johnny must've been a system QB and not even the best QB in the system.

FSU, UCLA, ALA, OKLA. FSU repeats, too much talent.

Anonymous said...

I like the glory hole pick. I'm rolling with it.

Ape, props to your gambling advice yesterday as I'm now 2-0 on the season. Tulsa's cover was pretty amazing. Anything better in the world than a miracle cover in your favor?

G$, one of your playoff teams took quite the beating last night. The 'OL Ball Coach could not have been pleased with that.


GMoney said...

I won my first bet with Buttgers +8 representing the Big Ten with style and grace. Now I'm hoping that the BG line for tonight gets to 7 and I'll jump at it. Didn't care for the -7.5 last night.

It's better to lose early! Let's be honest, the SEC East is fucking abysmal. The Cocks should still win it even after getting murked at home.

The miracle cover is a glorious thing.

I kind of like the RedHawks to cover a first half line tomorrow if you're into that sort of wagering. There is no way that Marshall takes us seriously (as they shouldn't) and we will be fired up. We will probably lose but I think that we can hang for a half. I imagine that it will +12.5 and while I'm not Glory Holing it, I still like it.

I also bet the Fuckeyes -17.5. I just can't see the option being successful against that DL of felons and miscreants. And good for Mark May getting his troll on early! Navy has two games circled this year: Ohio and Notre Dame! Oh yeah buddy because if there is one thing that we know about the service academies it is that they always have easy automatic wins on their sched. Navy is going to get killed.

GO CATS! If you have 230 seconds to spare today, I recommend you watch the video posted by Big Rex and myself on Facebook 10 times today. Maybe more. As Big Daddy ELITE once said, "that was outstanding".

GMoney said...

Putting my money where my MOUF is, I just got into bed with the RedHawks 1st half +14 line. I'll take that. Rakeem Caito can eat shit.

Prime99 said...

When STANFORD FOOTBALL plays STANFORD FOOTBALL they are an unstoppable force, but what happens if they don't play STANFORD FOOTBALL? That could be their downfall.

GMoney said...

That's always the issue. When will they learn that they can't stop playing the way that they were born to play?

And I have no idea if they are going to be ELITE this year or not but there was no way in Hell that I was picking against them. They finally got that Jonathan Martin stink out of the locker room.

Today's pic/caption is one of my favorites by the way.

GMoney said...

And if you want to know how much Defiance sucks and why Buti should have been fired years ago, they don't even have a JV team this year. How fucking pathetic is that shit? That's worse than having a 300 pound fullback two years ago.

Prime99 said...

Apparently, there is no betting line for UC Davis at STANFORD FOOTBALL this weekend. Sounds like everyone expects STANFORD FOOTBALL to show up and win by 100. Probably will.

Anonymous said...

I would not bet on us to cover against Navy. Barretts first game since high school of his senior offense where we can't sack the QB...and their QB led the nation in rushing TD's for a QB last year against our unproven LB's.


Anonymous said...

Not to mention, 17.5 points is a lot when your possessions are going to be limited. Depending on how well Navy moves the ball, OSU may only get 6-8 possessions. Count on at least 1/3 of them not ending in scores. If OSU breaks 40 I would be shocked.

GMoney said...

Get the fuck out of here. Sure, they will be a gritty bunch of sonsabitches but every single one of your players is more athletic than every one of theirs.

Anonymous said...

6-8 possessions? Since when does an option team chew up the clock? Thats bad analysis, Palmer.


Prime99 said...

Stop acting like Navy is STANFORD FOOTBALL!

GMoney said...

If the Ohio Buckeyes only get 6-8 possessions because they can't keep a one dimensional offense with 275 pound linemen off the field then I will truly enjoy your upcoming 5 win season.

Mr. Ace said...

Starting off 3-0 in CFB is pretty nice.

I also think Florida State will win again. Probably won't even be a game closer than 10 points until the championship.

I am on some teaser action for tonight. 6 pt. teaser with BG, OVER BG/WKU, and AZ/UNLV OVER.

GMoney said...

Hey guy that might still work here again some day, are you getting the free picks from that betting site since they didn't go undefeated on New Year's Day or was that a Vegas #Idelie?

T. Iceman said...

John manziel was forgiven for being a system QB because he played in a major conference, Jeff. The Heisman committee didn't hold it against him. #derekcarrforever

I agree with Drew. 17.5 is a lot when your QB is very inexperienced.

That picture/caption at the top could be the best in Moneyshot history. Still LOLing.

GMoney said...

Still fucking that Derek Carr chicken today, I see. Good for you.

T. Iceman said...

#neverforget #heisman

GMoney said...

Derek Carr is no Ron Dayne. Is he Lloyd's son? RT if yes, FAV if yes.

Mr. Ace said...

G$, yes I am still getting those picks. He is on the OVER for the BG game, but at I dunno about 64.