|Uhhhhh, someone show these eggheads how to celebrate.|
Thank you. On with the hot, bold, and spicy takes!
Li'l Strut: 1. Iowa wins the B1G West. The Hawkeyes avoid the top B1G East teams in Penn State, Michigan State, Michigan and Ohio State this year and do not play top B1G West opponents Wisconsin and Nebraska until the last two games of the season (both games are at home).With some key talent returning, its highly possible that Iowa wins a tiebreaker from a head to head win against Wisconsin or Nebraska heads to the B1G Championship. If this happens, Iowa would foolishly make Kirk Ferentz the highest paid coach in the nation.
2. Marshall Goes Undefeated and goes to a “New Year’s Six” Bowl (Formerly BCS Bowl): Marshall returns a ton of offensive firepower from a team that averaged 42.1 ppg last year. It also has 8 defensive starters returning. Combine that with the fact that the Thundering Herd plays in C-USA and you have a recipe for an unbeaten season and a New Year’s Six berth.
3. Ohio State’s Defense will have 50+ Sacks this year: This may not seem bold, considering the Buckeyes had 42 sacks last year, but when you consider the highest sack total in FBS was 44, it’s a bolder prediction than it seems. Ohio State may have the best defensive line in the country with each DE and one of its DTs being pegged as future first round NFL Draft Picks.
Damman: 1. UCLA will make the playoffs. I don’t know how bold this is but I don’t think people know much about UCLA even though they are ranked #7 in the preseason. I really like Jim Mora and quarterback Brett Hundley. They should handle USC and Arizona St in the South Division and just need to get past Oregon/STANFORD FOOTBALL in the North and I like them to do that. Hundley is going to light it up this year.
2. There will be as much controversy this year in the playoff selection as there was in any year of the BCS. I could see Alabama or Auburn not winning the SEC West and still getting into playoffs (not saying that’s going to happen, just saying there’s a good chance). I think there will be 2 undefeated major conference champions and then four or five deserving 1 loss major conference teams. It’s going to be chaos and it’s going to be great.
3. Navy will win 10 games this year. It just so happens that they play Ohio State in the opener (they’ll lose that one obvs) so that should help out the Buckeyes nicely come playoff time. But seriously, they play Ohio State and Notre Dame, and should be favored in the rest of their 10 games. I predict they’ll win all 10.
Drew: 1. Some sort of bad scandal is going to hit the Ole Miss football program during this season and it will result in current players losing eligibility during the season.
2. Alabama loses @ Tennessee this year.....Tennessee isn't even in the top 40.
3. Joey Bosa wins the Ted Hendricks Award (best defensive lineman in college football) as a true sophomore.
Larry: 1. Everett Golson will be invited to the Heisman presentation in New York.
2. Bob Stoops and Oklahoma makes the four team playoff but loses to Bama.
3. Texas bounces back with Charlie Strong and goes 10-2 with a loss against Oklahoma in the Red River Rivalry.
G$: 1. Jerry Kill will have at least two game day seizures but will still hold onto his job as if nothing happened. The Minnesota brass will secretly pray for him to retire but he won't because he gives no fucks.
2. Penn State will beat Ohio Buckeyes by double digits. They didn't forget about that 500 point beating last year in Columbus and neither did the Sandusky-supportin' fans. A guy like James Franklin won't let them forget that either.
3. Bob Stoops will blow it somehow. Whoops--that isn't a hot take or a bold prediction. How about this: The Miami RedHawks, fresh off an ELITE 0-12 season, will be bowl eligible. Andrew Hendrix may not supplant BG's Matt Johnson for First Team All-MAC QB, but he will be 2nd team.
BONUS! Nibbles will not be asked back next year. If you have 4 hours, see below.
Nibbles: 1. The best quarterback in the SEC is a sophomore in Columbia, Missouri. Maty Mauk will challenge Nick Marshall and Bo Wallace for the title of SEC’s best quarterback in 2014. While Marshall is by far the best athlete playing quarterback, Mauk’s ability to pass and read beyond the first and second progressions is unmatched. Wallace has and will rely on surrounding talent to make plays. As a freshman, Mauk nearly took down South Carolina after filling in for an injured James Franklin, taking the game into 2 overtimes. The rest of the field is either experienced garbage or just inexperienced:
o Alabama: Jacob Coker
o Florida: Jeff Driskel
o Georgia: Hutson Mason
o Kentucky: Maxwell Smith
o Vanderbilt: Patton Robinette
o South Carolina: Dylan Thompson
o Tennessee: Justin Worley
o Arkansas: Brandon Allen
o LSU: Anthony Jennings
o MSU: Dak Prescott
o A&M: Kenny Hill
2. The best conference this year is far and away the PAC-12. Although overrated at #7, the resurgence of UCLA helps tremendously. Oregon and Stanford Football will rival Auburn and Alabama as the top two in the conference. Both PAC-12 teams return more on defense, as well as returning stronger candidates at skill positions on offense. On paper, the second tier teams in the SEC (Ole Miss, South Carolina, and Georgia) seem to get the nod over PAC-12 (UCLA, USC , and Arizona State). Both Carolina and Georgia lose long time signal callers as well as star power on defense. UCLA, USC, and ASU all return Brett Hundley, Cody Kessler, and Taylor Kelly (all QB’s with high passer rating and with TD to INT ratios of at least 3-1.
3. Notre Dame misses a bowl game. The schedule is very difficult this year with what are 5 sure fire losses
(Stanford, UNC, Florida State, Arizona State, USC). Between Michigan, Navy, Northwestern, and Louisville (Petrino’s back), I see two upset losses. The team only returned 10 of 22 starters from last season (if you count Golson), and that’s before the academic scandal, which claimed two more of those starters.
4? Wisconsin will upset LSU on August 30th. Melvin Gordon III will have a chance to kick start his Heisman campaign against a young defense. Joel Stave returns as well as 4 of 5 offensive linemen. The defense must replace the entire front seven which could provide problems against LSU returning most of their offensive line. However, LSU’s loss of all skill players from last year should make it easier on Wisconsin’s defense.
5? Ole Miss will upset Alabama on October 4th. Hugh Freeze has reeled off top 10 recruiting classes for the past several years. Much of that talent has made its way into the depth chart, including a handful of Nkemdiche’s. 9 of 11 return on defense with half the offense returning at the right positions. The game is played at Biloxi this year with Bama starting a QB with zero reps to his name.
6!!! Brian Kelly gets fired before season’s end. Coupled with the poor season performance and last year’s academic fraud with Golson, it’s going to become apparent at some point that Kelly has had direct knowledge of the blatant cheating going on.(ed. note: when I say, I mean three!)
The Wig Master: 1. I have upsets penciled in for two of the early-season favorites. First, Ol Rocky Top will head into Norman on September 13th and take down the Sooners.
2. The season will end on November 29th with the Gators beating the Seminoles in Tallahassee and Muschamp will preserve his job status.
3. Here’s a hot take, Marshall will roll into Oxford this weekend and drop 60-plus on the Redhawks. Now, these things may or may not happen, I have a lot of whisky in me right now; however, I did accurately predict that Mrs. Doubtfire 2 would never be made.
So, who hates Nibbles? 6 predictions? Jesus, that's the behavior of someone who volunteers to lead up-downs. That is the kind of thing that gets one fired around here. Short and strong and to the fucking point, bro! We hand out the Heisman tomorrow as well as give props to our favorite, underrated analysts (David Pollack need not apply).