Monday, August 25, 2014

CFB Preview Day 1: The Ratings!

Americans will never forget where they were when Bo and Faux became one
Hello again everyone and welcome back to this site's signature week: College Football Preview Week.  It's when we let the inmates run the asylum and there will be rapes.  We may have lost GSaul this year (joined David Cutcliffe's staff probably) but we replaced him with two eager beavers, Nibbles and Larry.  That gives us a whopping SEVEN contributors now which is pretty much 90% of our daily readership!  We start this week off how we always start it off...with our OVERRATED and underrated teams for the 2014 college football season.  Enjoy!

Li'l Strut: OVERRATED – Notre Dame. The Fighting Irish are ranked 17th in the Preseason Coaches Poll. The Irish lost a lot of talent last year, particularly in its defensive front seven, which was its strength. ND is also losing a number of key players to suspension for academic fraud. Looking at Notre Dame’s schedule, its ceiling is seems to be 9-3 with losses against Michigan (which ND always plays poorly against), Stanford, and at Florida State. It has four other games it could easily lose to Navy, Northwestern, at Arizona State and at USC. 7-5 and a finish outside the top 25 seem more realistic for this year’s Notre Dame Team.
Underrated – Ole Miss. The Rebels showed flashes of potential last year against some of the better SEC Teams on its way to finishing 8-5 in the brutal SEC West. Ole’ Miss returns a lot of experience this year, including its starting QB and talent from a top 10 2013 recruiting class to fill in the gaps left by departures. With its favorable home schedule and ranked 19th in the Preseason Coaches Poll, expect Ole Miss to finish near or within the top 10.

Damman: OVERRATED – Ole Miss. Sorry not buying the hype of the past couple recruiting classes (cheaters). If they weren’t in the SEC, they wouldn’t be ranked this high. The schedule is not very forgiving either. They play Boise St in the non-conference and then have to travel to LSU and A&M in conference. They do get Alabama and Auburn at home but they are 2-18 against those two teams the last 10 years. They’ll be lucky to have a winning season.
Underrated – Oklahoma State. Obviously, opening up with Florida State is going to be a tough one, but after that, they don’t play a road game until Oct. 11. They have do have to travel to Baylor and Oklahoma and they lost a lot from last year, but I think this is a 9 win team. They’ve won at least 8 games in each of the last 6 years. For them to not even be ranked is hard to believe. Plus, for some reason, I always enjoy watching Oklahoma State play. They’re never boring. It all adds up to them being underrated.

Drew: OVERRATED - Sparty. Much to the delight of people here, I'm going to set myself up to look stupid...but, I'm picking MICHIGAN STATE. Why? Because simply they were a team of destiny last year and I don't see that happening again. They are starting out in the top 8 in the nation, but I see losses @ Oregon, vs. Ohio State and wait for it.........@ Penn State in the final game of the year. They just do not recruit enough ELITE talent to restock a team to be ELITE in back to back years.
Underrated - The Fifth Quarter. Sticking B1G here.....WISCONSIN. They start the season off at LSU....but, I think they run the table until the B1GCG. That side of the B1G is closer to the MAC than it is the SEC. I think Anderson is a pretty awesome coach and look for them to run the table until meeting the Buckeyes in Indy.

Larry: OVERRATED – Auburn. The AP Poll has Auburn at #5 after a season that they lost in the National Championship game against FSU. Last year success was partly due to their strong running game and partly due to luck. They will not have the same fortune in 2014 and I predict at least 3 loses (@Bama, LSU, @Georgia).
Underrated – Stanford. Stanford is just outside of the top 10 which is too low for a team that plays STANFORD FOOTBALL. Stanford had three loses last year by a combine total of 13 points. Stanford had 3 tough road games against ND, UCLA and Oregon but I only see them losing one of those (to ND of course) and finish the season in the top five.

G$: OVERRATED - Ohio Buckeyes. I'm just not seeing it. Yes, I know who the coach is, who the opponents are, and the talent on the roster. I get that. Here is also what I know: a soft-ass QB coming off of shoulder surgery and a penchant for missing games with no Kenny G to bail him out anymore, absolutely no one half as good as Carlos Hyde between the tackles, replacing 80% of the offensive line which is a HUGE fucking deal, a shitty defense that lost two first round picks and is expected to be better (?!?!?!?!), and Luke Fickell. Those are A LOT of unknowns. Maybe it works out and they run the table. I don't know. But I wouldn't bet on it. I'd bet on 2-3 losses. (ed. note: I wrote this at least a week before the Broxton news and I'm sticking with it, breh)
Underrated - Nebraska. There is a decent (OK, small) chance that they could have the Big Ten Defensive and Offensive Players of the Year (Randy Gregory and Saddam Abdullah). Plus, I'm really enjoying this character development for Bo Pelini. Bringing that cat on the field during the Huskers Spring Game is something that an ELITE person does.

Nibbles: OVERRATED – UCLA. Brett Hundley is very good, but leading your team in rushing last year with just under 600 yards, while losing your leading receiver to the draft is going to create problems. The defense does return 7 of 11 starters, but lost last year’s leader in Anthony Barr. There’s no way this team is 4 spots better than Stanford Football. They’ll compete, but drop one they shouldn’t and find themselves 3rd or 4th in the conference’s year end standings.
Underrated – Ole Miss. Ole Miss returns 9 of 11 on defense as well as offensive stars Bo Wallace, Laquon Treadwell, and Laremy Tunsil. This team has TWO Nkemdiche’s on defense which is two more Nkemdiche’s than any other team. The schedule will get brutal in the middle of the year with a five week stretch against Alabama, A&M, Tennessee, LSU, and Auburn. I expect the Rebels to go 3-2 against that stretch, finish the season 10-2 going into the bowl season. This would warrant a ranking much higher than the AP’s preseason #18.

The Wig Master: Good morning, asshats. It’s been too long I’m glad to be back! Before the business, just one more ‘props’ to Gfunk on the new little lady. See, see, that “birds and bees” talk from Karen paid dividends.
OVERRATED - Oklahoma Sooners (AP #4). The Sooners did everyone a favor beating Alabama in the Sugar Bowl last year. This should not constitute an automatic bid into the preseason top 5 however. QB Trevor Knight had a standout performance against the Tide but it was his only note-worthy game all season. A year removed, this redshirt sophomore now has the starting spot to himself. Paired with a young group of skilled players, sounds like a whole lot of inexperience. Their defense does return eight but it is the same defense that struggled against the run in 2013.
Underrated: Ole Miss Rebels (AP #18). Ol' Bo Wallace is prepped to put up some big numbers against his SEC sister-friends. He's entering his third season as QB giving him plenty of experience, most in the conference. A couple of his favorite targets and a tandem of high producing running backs return with him. The defense returns 9 and so should round out this experienced, athletic team pretty well.

There you go.  Day 1 is in the books and if you think that the TAEKS are going to get less scorching hot as the week goes on, there's the door.  Who would have ever guessed that fucking Ole Miss would be such a polarizing team?  Until Hugh Freeze (Ice to see you!) comes out on the field with a cat or eats a plate of grass, he can get fucked IMO.  We unearth the lesser known players and fire some coaches tomorrow.  Fun!

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck it...I'm sticking with both of mine.

G$....Nobody believes you that you wrote that a week before injury.

Damman goes with the Ole Miss overrated while three people call Ole Miss their underrated. That will be an interedasting one to follow.

I was up in Detroit for the Eminem concert at Comerica on Saturday...slept at my parent's house that night and came downstairs Sunday morning to see my Dad rocking his Appalachian State t-shirt while eating his cereal. It was a great way to officially start week 1 of the college football season.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Read the text. It clearly comes off as Broxton is still QB1 and not Vagina5000.

You know it's football season when Sam Bradford is getting hurt. It doesn't matter what level. When Navajo Joe goes down, it is time for the men to play.

Anonymous said...

Auburn is TOTES OVERRATED. They must have sacrificed 1000 goats last year to even sniff half the luck they got. Nothing was more satisfying than seeing FSU shove that back up their asses. Fuck Gus Malzahn.

Kind of hard to come up with an UNDERRATED team preseason. I guess I thought Stanford and Ole Miss should've been ranked higher, but they aren't THAT far down where I'd call them underrated. And Ole Miss kinda shit the bed last year with that vaunted recruiting class.

Ide

GMoney said...

The Noles needed a last second drive to beat an Auburn team that was supposed to be terrible. Is that an ass-shoving?

STANFORD FOOTBALL #1 but still underrated.

Anonymous said...

FSU got really fucking lucky to win that game, and it was hilarious watching amazing luck get shoved right back up Auburn's ass. Especially after Gus's pregame comments.

Ide

Prime99 said...

"STANFORD FOOTBALL #1 but still underrated."

I hear that!

I love the differences of opinion on Ole Miss. They should be interesting to watch.

GMoney said...

I see but isn't it a tad hypocritical for a fan of the 2002 Fuckeyes getting pissed off about a team being lucky? Luck happens and you need it to win titles. Luck also happened for STANFORD FOOTBALL but that was before they began playing STANFORD FOOTBALL on a semi-weekly basis.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, possibly, but can't really compare it. We got some lucky breaks, for sure, but our breaks didn't include returning a missed FG for a touchdown with :00 left on the clock. And Tressel didn't spout off to the media about OSU's 'will to win' and how nothing can stop them.

Questionable reffing in 2002 certainly happened, but it really did go both ways.

Also, Shawn Springs getting stripped of the ball by Clarett wasn't luck. Turns out he had a penchant for getting robbed. Count it.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Sean Taylor***

GMoney said...

I was thinking more of HOLY BUCKEYE considering that the man who threw it and the man that caught it were terrible players and you needed that to beat Joe Tiller.

Also, whatever Gus Malzahn said to the press isn't half as awful as Tress writing 400 books about faith and football and probably faith again and then getting banned for 5 years.

But we're splitting pubes now. RIP Sean Taylor.

Anonymous said...

Yes, my preview was submitted before the Braxton injury so keep that in mind when reading the rest of the week. But I'm sticking with my predictions.

Krenzel supposedly got into trouble recently for slamming some little kid on his son's pee wee football team to the ground during practice. The police are looking into it. Good stuff.

-Damman

Nibbles said...

Nothing will come of it.

Krenzel picked the kid up by his shoulder pads, yelled at him, then let go of his pads. Since the kid's feet were off of the ground, he stumbled and fell once Krenzel let go of his pads.

The dad is the whole thing about to be Krenzel running onto the field and suplexing the kid.

Nibbles said...

*The dad is making the whole thing out to be

GMoney said...

Krenzel beats kids. It doesn't sound like an overexaggeration to me. If you pick someone else's kid up, scream at him, and then drop him on the ground, you should get in trouble for that. Especially today. This isn't Downey beating the shit out of Shegitz during practice (man I would love to watch that again). You can't do that anymore.

I would throw Krenzel in prison for a decade.

Anonymous said...

Michigan is starting a true frosh at LT....LOLZZZZ!

--Drew

Nibble said...

Good Downey story.

I still wonder how even ten years ago nobody reported some of the shit he was doing.

Will never forget him beating some Chocolate Bar ass in the film room with the garbage can.

GMoney said...

I don't get Drew's LOL. If he's good (and he must be) then so what?

Anonymous said...

IDE agreeing with both of my picks is disturbing. Not a good start for my feet college football preview. He's the worst.

I feel like lil' strut picked Notre Dame as his overrated to make it seem like he is not a Notre Dame fan anymore and win votes. It's not going to work.

Not sure what to think about Ohio but I'll predict 10-2 with them losing two games because of the QB position.

Larry

Anonymous said...

G$....How many true freshman OT's can you think of that played big time college football and started right away? It almost never happens. It shows that their worst OL ever last year...is still having issues If he's somehow the best for the job.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Taylor Lewan and Jake Long started as freshman. But troll along, Drew.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ Ape! How is that a troll? I said it "almost never happens". Lewan and Long are the two best OL for UM over the last decade...with one of them being the #1 overall pick. If you think Cole is gonna be as good as those two, I've got a bucket full of LOLZ for you. Thanks for proving my point tho.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I just don't see it as LOL-worthy, I suppose. Maybe a red flag but my guess is that the kid is really good. He clearly won a position competition so I'll allow it. I retract your LOLZ until more evidence is seen regarding this bro.

Larry, good call and way to be self-aware. That is not the kind of start that you want.

Where are the Moron Brothers (Cakes and Iceman)?

Anonymous said...

Iceman has been on sabbatical since last time college sports was a talking point. Perhaps he is boning up on the goings ons in the Gator locked room.

Ise

Anonymous said...

God all sorts of phone problems there

Cakes said...

I stop in real quick to troll me some college football HOT TAKES and I find this? There isn't a whole lot to complain about with these predictions. Well thought out and good facts to back them up. What the fuck is going on here?

JT for Heisman.

GMoney said...

College Football Preview Week is always rock solid with the analysis and strong takes. It has been ever since I fired Dut.

Prime99 said...

Hot TAEK by Ise right there.

GMoney said...

More like Iseman.