Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Open Forum: underrated Foods!

LOL Seal!  Too much lard at breakfast.
We spent a lot of time around here discussing things being OVERRATED.  It can be quite nauseating and repetitive.  But we rarely look at the opposite side of that spectrum.  No one seems to care about the underrated.  The underrated have grit!  Hell, OVERRATED thinks that it is so big and bad that it stole all of the caps.  underrated has to go lower case because it's shithead brother is such a glory adjective.  We can change that if for just today.  Let's focus on the underrated in a world ripe for commenting debate...food.

As I mentally prepare myself to go on the defensive from cyber food bullies today, it is important to remember a few things about today's topic.
1. As long as you can say "this is way better than it gets credit for" then you are fine.  If you can say, "Kobe beef gets all the love but IMO pig dick is way better and packed with protein" then whatever.
2. There are no other rules. 

We're setting this up like a giant, underrated meal.  Deal with it.  MEAL WITH IT.

Appetizer - Hummus.  I am on a HUGE hummus kick at the moment because it is fantastic.  Since it is made out of chickpeas (primarily...I think) and I eat it with pretzels, why it must be really great for me!  Don't care.  I love it.  I picked up a thing of Sabra's "super spicy" this past weekend and it was weak as fuck.  Tasted fine but I expected molten diarrhea.  You lie, Sabra!

Soup - Tomato with Grilled Cheese.  No one ever looks forward to this but when it gets served, you change your tune.  If you don't like tomato soup then please move back to Iran.  In college, my buddy Cap decided to take years off of his life one day by eating as many grilled cheese sandwiches (with tomato soup for dipping) as he could.  He got to, I think, 9 and one bite of #10 before going to bed at noon and not being seen again for the next 24 hours.  A few years later, he would wipe Juan Negro's semen on his face.  Good times.

Palate Cleanser? - An All-Beef Hot Dog.  We can keep arguing forever as to what is and is not acceptable to put on a hot dog but the FACT remains that a hot dog is delicious.  You know those people who like to talk about how they are just pig sweepings and ground up raccoon pussies?  Fuck those people.  Just don't boil or microwave a hot dog.  Hot dogs are fantastic, easy to make, easy to eat on the go, and kids love them which means more chances to eat hot dogs.  Parenting is going to be easy!

Main Course - Pork Chops.  I feel like these are criminally underrated.  Watch any Food Network show and see if they even mention the pork chop.  They never do.  It is a simple cut of pig but packed with great flavor.  Plus, if there is a little ring of fat on it, it is like getting a free piece of bacon.  I would like to see the pork chop make a big comeback.

Vegetable - Cauliflower.  We will never have a Food Post based around vegetables.  You have my word, Mr. President--Jack Bauer

Side - Tater Tots.  Why aren't these more popular?  They are vastly superior to freedom fries IMO.  Awhile ago, I made chili cheese tater tots at the house and I'm pretty sure that they got the wife pregnant.

Dessert - Handful of Chocolate Chips.  I usually like to keep cookies or something in the pantry in case I have a sweet tooth at some point.  But there are times when I forgot and the only alternative is a bag of Nestle chocolate chips that may have been in there for at least two years.  You can never go wrong by dumping a nice chunk of that bag in your hand and then shoving them all in your mouth and chewing it like Tony Gwynn (no offense).  I am at my sexiest when I eat a handful of chocolate chips.

There you go.  Just a bunch of different foods that deserve more love for being great.  I'll tell you one thing: you give me a pork chop and tater tots all day long and you can stuff your duck confit in a sack, mister.  In conclusion, don't put ketchup on your hot dog.  Whoops.  Let's eat.

46 comments:

Anonymous said...

Tater tots are not underrated, nor is tomato soup and grilled cheese. Those are comfort foods and a staple of American culture. I'd argue hummus is in that category now with the Ape's and women of the world making it insanely popular. Probably underrated amongst heterosexual males though.

All beef hot dogs are all you see in NYC (Joey Chestnut only eats them), but I don't think that's the norm. Microwaves are awful. I dont even own one. But, you can certainly boil them. Im not firing up the grill anyti.....wait, I never cook them, they're on every street corner. Nevermind.

UNDERRATED

Breakfast - Corned beef hash. This can of mush is the best thing ever. I always order a side of it at any diner, and it never stops being ELITE. Enough sodium to put down a pride of lions, but goddamn is it tits.

Vegetables - Brusses sprouts. If you have ever had them made properly, they will change your life.

Soup - I dont feel that various corn chowders get their just respect.

Main course - I wanted to say rabbit, but that'd probably fall under rule 1. I will go with hanger steak. It's a tough steak to cook and you can only have it rare to barely medium rare (get fucked G$ and your well done), but it is easily my favorite cut of beef. Also, rabbit.

Dessert - Carrot cake. Seriously, people hate on this, and it makes no sense. It is ELITE. And also, probably the only desert I'd actually order at a restaurant.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Good post/idea. I do agree with Ide that there is nothing underrated about tomato soup/grilled cheese tho....that's an American staple.

Appetizer--

I'm gonna go with pretzel nuggets/sticks. These are tremendous when given with a variety of different tasty dipping sauces. Should be on more menus...usually one of the cheaper appetizers as well.

Soup--

Wonton Soup. Why don't regular restaurants serve this? It's only at Chinese. It's delightfully salty...and just delicious.

Main Course--

Beef Stroganoff. I fucking love beef stroganoff and feel it's criminally underrated. It should be on more menus.

Vegetable--

Asparagus. There are still way too many people that don't eat this for some reason. It is just tremendous and I love the smell of my pee after it.

Side--

Sweet Potato Fries.

Dessert--

Anything white chocolate.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich topped with crisp bacon.

Yeah, Ide has eaten rabbit. #IDELIES

Anonymous said...

Huh? I've had rabbit several times. Granted, I haven't went out and killed it like you're probably thinking, or whatever it is you rubes in Cincy do for game, but yeah, I have had it. In fact, I had a pretty ELITE rabbit sausage last Friday night at Alder.

Hell, North Market in Columbus sells it.

Ide

Grumpy said...

Dining with Paul Pierce, I presume.

GMoney said...

Grumpy wins!

If tater tots aren't underrated then why do you see them at ZERO restaurants not named Bar Louie??? They should be in ALL establishments.

Only old fuckers order tomato soup and grilled cheese. You younguns don't understand how solid that combo is. Jut Verlander doesn't even eat tomatoes! LOLZ! RUBE!

White chocolate sucks. I always hated Jason Williams.

GMoney said...

wait, I never cook them, they're on every street corner. Nevermind.

Keep funding terrorism/Nord, hipster faggot. You aren't man enough to own a grill anyway.

Anonymous said...

Love the grilled cheese and tomato soup mention... definitely underrated, and so good. There is a restaurant in Akron that serves this as an appetizer - in a bowl the left half is cheese soup, the right half is tomato soup, with a big piece of buttered toast in the soup - fucking incredible.

Seal

Anonymous said...

"You aren't man enough to own a grill anyway"

I do own one, it's on my rooftop. But, why would I go up there for any other reason than a cookout? To cook a couple hot dogs? Pass. I can't remember the last time I've had one, actually. You tend to wear out on them when they are $2 with great toppings (never ketchup), so cooking them at home is pretty much a no go.

G$'s list of underrated food has been, hot dogs, tater tots, grilled cheese and tomato soup. Your childhood must have sucked.

Dirty Franks has ALL BEEF DOGS AND TATER TOTS. I guess that place is underrated too.

Ide

Prime99 said...

G$ rips me for liking hummus in a post about a year ago, claims it is deliciously underrated today. Makes sense.

Grilled cheese and tomato soup are fantastic and also loved by kids. Z hasn't graduated to the soup part yet, but he does love grilled cheese.

Ide, do you live in an apartment building? If yes, does everyone own grills and park them on the roof? That seems like a propane bomb waiting to go off.

GMoney said...

Prime brings up a great point about blowing up Ide. Would solve a lot of problems. Jesus Christ, the guy gets SO MAD FOR REAL about the dumbest shit that we're pretty much in agreement over anyway. The best part is that he doesn't understand what underrated means and what I'm trying to say. LOL what a dumb fuck!

Fuck foodies. What awful people.

Prime, I do not remember attacking you over hummus. Is than an IdeLie?

GMoney said...

And just to be clear, I deem "underrated" as "you will hardly ever see these things on food shows" which makes me 100% correct in my assessment.

But go ahead and keep being a dipshit.

T. Iceman said...

"G$ rips me for liking hummus in a post about a year ago, claims it is deliciously underrated today. Makes sense."

This is G$'s playbook. Now he'll sit here all day and try and argue his way around how he was dead wrong.

GMoney said...

Oh fuck you, Iceman. Everyone knows that my playbook is one page that says "30/31 Trap" and "be right all the time". Been working for 33 years, bruh.

T. Iceman said...

Hummus is the shit. But it has to be done correct. Too much lemon juice and it's butt soup.

I fucking love brussel sprouts grilled or baked. I don't know why more people don't eat these.

With you on pork chops, G$. I good pork chop doesn't get the love it deserves.

I wish meatloaf was on more menus. I wouldn't say it is totally underrated, but TOTES ignored when it comes to restaurant menus. Same with bison burgers. Wonderful.

Anonymous said...

G$...have you ever listened to this morning radio show Torg is on these days? I had no clue until randomly hearing his voice while flipping around this morning. I listened to 5 minutes and he talked about banging his wife for half of it. Gross.

Very skeptical on Ide's claim that he owns a grill and parks it on the roof of an apartment building.

I vaguely remember Prime's hummus claim...I think he's right.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

If you are ever in Downtown Detroit catching an ELITE Tigers game; I'd recommend checking out Mercury Burger Bar. They have a buffalo blue cheese TOT appy/side that will change your life. Their burgers/shakes are equally up there with the greats.

- j Saul

Anonymous said...

Propane is illegal in NYC, so we use charcoal or those hickory wood chips you get at Whole Foods (more ELITE than propane anyways).

"And just to be clear, I deem "underrated" as "you will hardly ever see these things on food shows" which makes me 100% correct in my assessment."

"2. There are no other rules."

No, retard, as per YOUR OWN WORDS, you are wrong. Calling hot dogs, grilled cheese, tater tots, and fucking tomato soup (which is all the LULZ considering you lived in the shadow of fucking Campbells) underrated then using Food Network as your reasoning is foolish for someone with Downs Syndrome.

You hate foodies, yet crafted a 'no rules' post where your hidden rules are showing how underrated food they don't appreciate on national television shows highlighting foods you can't cook at home (which you mentioned exclusively). If you want holes in that logic, watch "Best Thing I Ever Ate", where most of it is hot dogs and an episode of only grilled cheese.

You lost.

Ide

Anonymous said...

So, how many people have grills on your roof?

--Drew

Ben Wyatt said...

Can't believe the calzone hadn't been mentioned. I like to eat them while I'm rewatching Fringe and searching for plot holes.

T. Iceman said...

Well it looks like #IdeLies is challenging your "perfect record" of "always being right" today.

GMoney said...

Ide is wrong. And a homo for blacks. Do you want to live in a world where Ide is right about anything? Of course not. Dude is a Browns fan and a Fuckeye. Those are the ONLY teams that he likes. LOL what a turd. Probably considers "sambo semen" a divine dessert.

I will never understand why some of you sharpen your claws for food days. It makes no sense. Grilled cheese and hot dogs are underrated...BURN HIM AT THE STAKE! How dare he!

Some of you are worse than soccer.

My house. My rules. DEAL WITH IT.

GMoney said...

Little bitch can't even have propane. That must really stink for his mustachioed collection of roof-grilling buddies.

God, I hate Ide. Thanks for paying your fantasy baseball dues by the way.

Anonymous said...

Wait, do you really want to have a propane vs charcoal/mesquite debate? Not even you are that awful. If you choose propane, then you are wrong about everything ever.

I also CARRY THE FLAG. I will bandwagon the A's too. I don't care because MLB is awful, but whatevs.

Drew, about 25% of roofs have grills. Much of Brooklyn has backyards so thats a thing. I live on the second floor of a brownstone, so i have to go up.

Ide

GMoney said...

I'm not going to start that argument. HOWEVAH, I don't have hours to wait on coals to heat up on a Tuesday night.

I just don't understand your butthurtedness here today. It doesn't make sense. It makes me seriously re-consider your flag carrying. Yeah, I said it.

Prime99 said...

Ide, having a truckload of grills on your roof is in no way safe. If you die in a fire, no one will be surprised.

No time to pull a Drool and research the archives of this blog, but it was on a condiment/dipping sauce food post. Grumpy was pretty much the only hummus supporter, but it couldn't be plain hummus- had to have flava!

GMoney said...

By the way, Prime, I can't stop laughing at the pic circulating the web of Jack White at the Cubs game last night. So many LULZ!

GMoney said...

Did it for you, Prime:

LOL hummus. GO BACK TO RUSSIA!

I said that on Condiment Day which was 16 months ago. Things change. Deal with it.

Mr. Ace said...

Falafel gyros are the most underrated thing ever. Gyros in general don't get enough love, but a well done crispy falafel is top notch shit.

If you fire up a charcoal grill for burgers, brats or dogs and act like you're Bobby fucking Flay then you're just a douche.

Prime99 said...

Excellent! I hadn't seen the pic yet- he looks how most Cubs fans feel.

Anonymous said...

Not butthurt. I pointed out that you named some of the biggest foods out there and called them underrated (hot dogs!). Then it turned into a 'harf harf hipsters in Brooklyn with mustaches can't grill like us Ohioans, lolol'.

Only one grill on my roof. MINE! Though the roof over has a baller set up with trees.

You can start the charcoals while you're awake on many of your soon to be sleepless nights. Count it.

Ide

GMoney said...

Can't have a sleepless night if the damn kid won't come out.

You have unlimited access to hot dogs at all times. Most of us, even in the thriving metropolis of Johansen-ville, do not. Know your audience. Just wanted to show some love for hot dogs because hot dogs are terrific.

Anonymous said...

If you fire up a charcoal grill for burgers, brats or dogs and act like you're Bobby fucking Flay then you're just a douche.

Again, propane is illegal, so I guess I shouldn't have a grill lest some vegetarian think Im a douche.

Really not sure how a charcoal grill became a sticking point for insults. Or how it could even be interpreted as something to insult someone with.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

Ide, why so sensitive? That was not a shot at you, just a general statement. I often get the charcoal>>> propane argument from my BLACK FRIENDS but then all they grill is burgers. Make your charcoal usage worth it is all I'm saying.

T. Iceman said...

G$ is right about one thing...nothing brings out the vitriol quite like a Moneyshot food post. Sheesh!

GMoney said...

And it is almost always unwarranted. Nothing pisses people off here more than a lukewarm food take.

I've been told that today is National Hot Dog Day...did not know this but ELITE timing nonetheless!

Does anyone feel pork chop > steak? Probably not but chops are great. Pork fat >>>>> beef fat though

GMoney said...

Prime, I don't mean to speak for myself as a 32 year old, but I may have LOL hummus'd you for saying that hummus is a condiment. I'm sure it can be but that is mostly classified as a dip. Just to be clear.

Grumpy said...

Prime can search the archives all he wants, but he will never find me claiming to like hummus.

The best two reasons for grilling with charcoal are for flavor and not having a bomb on your deck.

Prime99 said...

I was clear about if being for dipping. I have never put hummus on anything but chips, pretzels, crackers, etc.

Grump, you said something like "plain is awful but some of the flavored ones are good." I believe roasted garlic was mentioned.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy....what's the tastiest meal you've ever had in your 100+ years on Earth?

--Drew

GMoney said...

Brontosaurus?

Grumpy said...

Prime, I will take your word for it, although I don't remember having roasted garlic hummus. It does sound good though.

Pussy is always the tastiest meal. BOOM!!

Mr. Ace said...

FUCK YES, GRUMP! GAME OVER.

GMoney said...

That's just gross. How can you say something like that on MAC Media Day???

And that comment just ended Food Days here until the end of time.

Anonymous said...

That comment was amazing. Food days have to live on tho.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Came late to the game and missed a lot of hate today.

I agree with Drew, soft pretzels as an appaetizer are amazing, especially with a good beer cheese.

I am going to be one of the few to give Ide some support today and agree with him that carrot cake is hated on for some reason, but it is one of the best cakes.

GMoney, I also agree that a good pork chop is undedrrated. So many ways to cook it. We go through a lot of pork in our household.

-OH Nate