Friday, July 11, 2014

I'm Going On Strike

That's it.  I've waited long enough to write this post tonight (last night obvz) and old what's his name still hasn't figured out what he wants to do.  Jesus fucking Christ--it's where you are going to live for the next three or four years.  It isn't picking which one of your sons lives or dies (his best friend's a talking pie!).  This shouldn't be taking so long!  So I'm not going to create any of my usual original ELITE content.  I am calling him out and if no one else can get James to act, then maybe his favorite blogger can.  SAY ANYTHING.  You would think that with him off to the World Cup tomorrow, he would make up his mind at some point today.  But I doubt it.  He should pull an A-Rod and pick his next team during the soccer game.  That would be monster LULZ.

I guess here are some topics if you need something:

*Did you all watch the video for the "COOLEST" cooler above?  I'm calling bullshit on that product.  And that lady making margaritas with cooler ice...GROSS.  Once that ice hits the cooler, it is not edible.  If this is really the COOLEST, then where is the Fleshlight portal like on that revolutionary iPad thing???  I rest my case.

*The Yankees/Indians series is over.  Did we take 3 out of four?  If so then Cakes has to trade me Chris Sale.  High stakes!  HIGH CAKES!

*The best commercial on TV is for the Honda Fit with the rock-climbing bros.  "Can it go off-road, BRAH?" "CHA, BRAH!" Never fails to make me giggle like a bastard.

*Germany vs. Argentina AKA where the Nazis lived vs. where the Nazis hid...who ya got?  I'm German so they will probably lose.  That Messi cat is a real nerd though.

*If you are in the G$FL and have not re-enlisted, get the fuck back in.  Right now I am favoring a Labor Day Monday draft day.  Either way, Drool and I will need to come up with another bet.  The last wager got me on Twitter and we all know that that was a blessing.

*Mayor Coleman is apparently trying to woo the 60 million dollar Stone Brewing Co brewery or whatever to call central Ohio home.  This shit any good?  Should I know about this already?  I probably should.  If you name your beer 25% after Stone Cold Steve Austin then you have to be incredible.

*Big Brother...we can always talk about Big Brother.  BRING BACK THE SABOTEUR!

*FYI I am two weeks away (give or take) from being some kid's father.  Anyone have any questions as to how I'm doing?  I installed the car seat bases last weekend.  There is no way that those fucking things are safe.

I'll be in Cincinnati tomorrow for a wedding (ignoring Grump).  I usually like to get shithouse drunk during these events but with a missus ready to pop, I may have to be responsible (not my strong suit when free booze is present).  That should be interesting.  Please get me drunk, OHNate.  Make your wife take care of mine if she goes into labor during the reception and we can stay and get rocked all night.  Sounds like a winning plan.  I'll be back on Monday with a breakdown of the Taco Bell Celebrity Softball Game rosters (James Denton...CONFIRMED!) if you know who finally makes up his mind.  Don't deprive me of that, LeBron.  CHA BRAH!

52 comments:

Grumpy said...

I will hunt you down and crash the reception.

LeBron will come home and pick a new jersey number. Sales will go through the roof as idiots will have to replace the ones they torched.

Anonymous said...

Stone is an excellent brewing company and it would be a major grab for Columbus. They plan on making it like their one in San Diego...which has amazing grounds, a bistro, etc. Basically, it would be a really cool place to go and visit...not just some factory that makes beer.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Anyone else not seeing that video? I swear to Joseph Smith that it was in the post when I wrote it. Oh well, Iceman loves it so you should just assume that it sucks butts.

Mempis Broussard is saying that it is no longer 85% Cleveland...WHAT A JOURNALIST!

I care but I don't care anymore either. I'm tired of wasting my time. Just pick already. And don't give me that shit of "he's playing this perfectly", Windmill, no he isn't. He is stringing along everyone with his indecisiveness. EVERYONE.

MUDawgfan said...

I've taken two months off from the The Money Shot and I strolled on back and was disappointed.

Not a word about Tracy Sprinkle and Urb's homo vacation?


This blog has lost its fastball!

GMoney said...

We talked about Grown & Sexy on Monday, bruh! Welcome back...congrats on realizing your gigantic mistake!

T. Iceman said...

First...there's a separate compartment for drink ice so you aren't making drinks with nasty cooler ice. If that compartment becomes gross and shitty well that's on you. Second... That coolest is rad but only for the right price.

I agree...the Honda BRAH commercial is one of only a few I can actually stand these days. Commercials keep getting worse and worse.

GMoney said...

Boom. Dubi staying in C-bus until 2021. Now name him Captain already.

CHA BRAH! Always gets me. That is a homo car but I would buy one if I were in the market just for those two guys.

Cakes said...

I accepted your 49th trade proposal for Sale even though the Indians split and I should've won something from you. My team is dogshit so whatever.

Cleveland radio is insufferable right now. I DON"T CARE ABOUT BRON BRON. Would it kill you to talk about the Indians for one minute?

What's the deal with this cooler? I saw three people post about this thing yesterday.

GMoney said...

Thank you, Cakes! I knew that you couldn't resist the stylish good looks of David Wright! G$ has his ace! Not Mr. Ace who is probably camped out in line to watch that new Planet of the Apes movie. Chris Sale!!!

T. Iceman said...

"What's the deal with this cooler?"

I bet google knows.

Jeff said...

Stone Brewing is awesome. The "Enjoy By" IPA series is great although it is pricey.

NW Ohio will be on pins and needles watching Mother Germany.

Cakes said...

I don't care enough to google it. I'll just assume it's stupid and move on.

Prime99 said...

So, like, where is LeBron going? Who is the Cavs coach? Why isn't this over? Does LeBron go to the Grown & Sexy Lounge from time to time? Why did Cakes trade Chris Sale? Who needs a cooler that makes Margaitas when they can drink beer? Is Melo still a free agent? What up wit dat?

LeBron is making everything worse.

T. Iceman said...

LeBron to Cavs official. We can all start hating Cavs fans again.

Anonymous said...

Welcome home LBJ!!!!!!!!!

Cakes said...

Thank god that is over.

Many good questions by Prime. Here are the answers. Cleveland. Eurotrash. It finally is. Guranteed he does. I was sick of G$'s trade proposals. Exactly! Don't care. Deeeeese nuts.

Anonymous said...

So, Calipari turned down $80M and the chance to coach LeBron, Wiggins and Kyrie...LOLZ @ him.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Oh man, Iceman is acting like four years ago Dan Gilbert on Facebook. What a piss pants baby. Oh, you were such barbarians!!! If it doesn't bother LeBron then it shouldn't bother you. Count it.

In all seriousness, his letter was absolutely fantastic. It said everything and answered all the questions. It also should show fucking Windhorst and Broussard that his mind was made up a LONG time ago. You don't come up with that at noon today.

Chris Sheridan, the Cupcake Company, and the breaking news that I posted last week = pimps

This is surreal as fuck. I can hardly believe it. But I love it. Dude is coming home to fulfill the promise he made years ago. That's awesome.

Anonymous said...

CAVS! The jinx of Danny Ferry will rise again!

Prime99 said...

His letter was excellent. I'm oddly happy about his classy decision, yet I know the Bulls, Cavs, Pacers battling (LOL Pistons and Bucks) is going to be cray cray now.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ thinking he actually wrote that letter.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Drew, you're just being a racist! SVSM is the finest school in America!

Even Mickie Arison's reply was classy because he did the exact same thing.

Surprisingly, this has been handled very well by all.

Anonymous said...

The fact that this chaps Iceman's ass makes it 100x better.

-Damman

GMoney said...

Makes sense: Bovada just made the Cavs the favorites to win the title next season. This has escalated quickly. I'm over-stimulated. May need to remove pants.

GMoney said...

No kidding. Go onto Facebook and check it out. He is having a meltdown comparable to Karl Rove's during the 2012 Election Night coverage!

GMoney said...

BREAKING NEWS:

Ohio trades Iceman to Florida for LeBron James.

FUCK YO COUCH!!!

Prime99 said...

It said that Lee James wrote it for him, but the sentiment was there. Nitpicky Drool is the worst Drool. Go correct Damman's spelling.

T. Iceman said...

The true LOLZ is Cavs fans thinking their behavior was justified because he was a hometown boy. And also for thinking that the hatred for LeBron was only segregated to a few "idiots" with a camera in their face.

T. Iceman said...

It was hardly a meltdown. I was simply trying to educate Cavs fans which I now know is simply impossible due to tiny brains with selective memory.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ Prime buying that. Some Nike person told that guy exactly what to write.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

So you're saying LeBron didn't have anything to do with the letter to the point that he didn't approve of the message? Drool's version:

Bron: i is gon back to Cleveland, n****a!!!!
Nike rep: don't worry LeBron. We got this. We wrote up a thoughtful letter to release on your behalf. Would you like to read it?
Bron: Fuck naw, n***a! Where Johnny Football at?!

GMoney said...

Got to love high horse Iceman, the sports fan police! "When the parties that matter involved don't care, only ONE TROLL DOES!!!" Sounds like one of your homo comic books, dweeb.

Drew throws bananas at that letter, Prime. He probably gets mad at all the presidents because they never write their own material.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ! Nowhere did I say he would have written one like he's some ghetto 5th grader. But, Nike TOTES took care of that for him....and SI gladly obliged breaking it for them.

--Drew

Cakes said...

How much weight has Windhorst gained in the past four years?! I always knew he was fat but that is some next level shit. I haven't really seen him or paid attention to him since then because basketball but that's stunning.

I'm getting ready to check out Iceman's facebook rant. I'm sure it's sad and pathetic.

T. Iceman said...

You'll be disappointed. As usual...G$ is blowing it way out of proportion.

GMoney said...

It is something else. The guy almost re-defines "butthurt". Like usual, not one person agrees with him.

GMoney said...

By the way, David Blatt is the luckiest dude ever.

T. Iceman said...

"Like usual, not one person agrees with him"

Like usual...G$ throwing out Ide sized lies.

GMoney said...

Pairing Linsanity with Kobe = CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

GMoney said...

I know that it's harder for some of you, but you have to be a Cavs fan now just because every bit of positive news brings Iceman closer and closer to a life-ending aneurysm stroke.

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen this trade but I'm sure it's a rip. First year in the league and cakes is already the douche who fire sales his shitty team for no reason...

-j Saul

Cakes said...

Whoa! It's not a fire sale. Wright and Lincecum for Jackson and Sale. I think it's pretty fair. I need more offense and he needs pitching. I would never tank anything on purpose.

Cakes said...

Whoops. I meant Brown. Not Jackson.

GMoney said...

Yeah, Cakes has a ton of god awful OFers. I took Dom Brown off him and he will likely be cut shortly.

T. Iceman said...

Don't let G$ take the focus off what's really important here. He may be a bigger liar than Ide.

Cakes said...

Not to mention the three offers I rejected before that while I was already 25 out of first.

GMoney said...

Don't let G$ take the focus off what's really important here. The Yankees traded for Jeff Francis today who was cut by the A's AND the Reds already this season. Tanaka who???

Oh please. You're so mad that you can't even make a decent argument. Schnitkey buried you like I used to with St. Paul 2 (ELITE reference although I don't think that we beat you).

T. Iceman said...

LOL! Buried me. Sure. Cavs fans are the only ones who think the way the fan base handled LeBron leaving was taken out of context and blown out of proportion because of a "few idiots". But go ahead and keep thinking the majority of you guys handled it well.

GMoney said...

You so mad. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

One more time, if it wasn't a big deal to LeBron then it shouldn't matter to you or JA Adande either.

We all grew up over these four years. You did not. Those two sentences should make you puke.

Meanwhile, the Indians might as well move to Mars because they are now about as popular as the goddamn Monsters.

Anonymous said...

Iceman is soooooo pissed and him saying otherwise is LOLZ.

We owned St Paul 2.

I was the original turncoat going from St Paul and playing in the public school division. I had crosses burned in my yard for that shit.

-Damman

GMoney said...

Steve Wentzel was the original Dan Gilbert.

Prime99 said...

"We all grew up over these four years. You did not. Those two sentences should make you puke."

That and excessive amounts of Rumplemintz.