Tuesday, July 01, 2014

Billboards And Douche Bags.


Stay classy, guys.



Florida is just over the horizon for us (July 18th) and last weekend we had our official going away party.  I don't know why women get so into party planning.  It's pointless and costs too much money.  Wheelz kept asking me what I wanted for this bash and I responded every time with "to black out".  Eventually she got annoyed, stopped asking and just planned what she wanted without me.  Mission accomplished...on both fronts.  I don't need fancy fucking bells and whistles for a party.  Give me booze, people who enjoy getting as drunk as I do and yard games.  An impromptu poker game never hurts either.  The rest can fuck off and is not needed, IMO.

Anyway, the party was a complete success.  I got bombed and found a nice place in the back yard to hide while the people I didn't care to see filed in and out.  The only hiccup was the fat cunt across the street that called the cops on us for a noise complaint and underage drinking.  The noise was valid but it was Saturday night at 11PM.  Don't be a miserable fucking hag.  Sorry we interrupted your Murder She Wrote marathon but I'm sure that you and Angela Lansbury will live.  The underage charge was a hoot since none of us hang out with high schoolers.  I'm sure she threw that in just to be a bag of dicks.  It's been awhile since a party of mine had a surprise cop visit.  As expected, the police did nothing and I plan on putting a bag of my hangover turds in this bitch's mailbox the week we leave.  So I win.  The last two days have been spent recovering and keeping a watchful eye over my now nutless dog.  Can't wait for Ace to tell me how stupid it is to neuter a dog.  Soooooo, while spending most of my time on the Internet over the last couple of days, two stories caught my eye that I will touch on briefly so I can get back to my movie marathon.  First:

What in THEE fuck is Milwaukee thinking?  More importantly, what is Jason Kidd thinking?  Let me start by saying Jason Kidd is a cunt mouthed shit sucker.  Not many people are gifted the fucking opportunity of a head coaching gig in a major market less than one year after retirement.  Shit...a lot of these guys spend years as assistants before getting their first head coaching job.  And it's usually for an ass squad with almost no future.  But hitting the head coaching lottery wasn't good enough for Jason Kidd, I guess.  Kidd apparently wanted to be president of basketball operations, as well, after only one season.  A pretty mediocre season at that.  The Nets wisely told him to get fucked and instead of taking it like a man and working his way up to a position he's currently not ready for, Kidd pouts and leaves for Milwaukee.  A team that still isn't going to grant Kidd's wishes.  Okay?  The fucking balls on that guy.  I hope you like snow and fat, toothless, drunk Packers fans who reek of gouda.  It was a poor hire by Milwaukee and Jason Kidd is a dildo.  Second:

I guess billboard smack talk is a thing now.  Yesterday I saw that someone or someones in San Antonio decided to rip LeBron for opting out of his deal using billboard material.  Literally.  Let's find out what resident Spurs fan, Ace thinks.  I'm guessing he's going to love it because he's tacky...just like the billboard.

Listen.  I'm always down for a good ol' fashioned shit talking sesh.  But going to the LEMPHS of a billboard is a little childish, IMO.  I'm willing to admit that I was wrong about the Spurs.  They shut me up and showed how good they really are.  They've also been a class act organization from day one and seem to do things the right way.  I still hate them, but I can at least respect them after what I saw this year.  And if I were a part of that organization or a fan of that team, I would hate this billboard and want it taken down, ASAP.  The Spurs have never been about public shaming or shit talking.  They let their play on the court speak for itself and that's always been good enough.  Taking pot shots at another team/player is a low class move and completely opposite of what the Spurs represent.  What about everyone else?  So you love or hate the billboard move if it were your favorite team?

Well, assholes.  Batman (1989) is calling my name.  Time to dive back into this movie marathon.  And yes, cry babies.  It is another basketball post.  So suck my cock and DEAL WITH IT already.

28 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

I find the billboard tacky AND hilarious. It's not like the front office put it up. If some rich oil tycoon wants to throw some cash at a billboard then so be it. I don't think it represents the Spurs in any way. I'm pretty sure the billboard went up two weeks ago and nobody gave a shit.

Jason Kidd is not a good coach. I have no idea why teams want him.

Your neighbors probably saw you taking shots of pucker and rumplemintz and just assumed 14 year old were over there.

Anonymous said...

Good work on getting the cops called on you. I only wish that COPS was filming when they showed up to see your ugly ass blacked out and Wheelz doing circles in the front lawn.

I don't get the Jason Kidd thing at all and he's a humongous cocksucker...and so are the Bucks for how they went about that. I hope it blows up just terribly.

I like the billboard trash talk for college stuff. There's been a couple in Columbus poking fun at the Buckeyes over the last few years and they humor me. If I won the lottery I'd probably be putting up billboard messages around the country.

Iceman...since I know these updates humor you....The #Windians are now 7.5 games behind the Tigers.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Kyrie has agreed to stay in Manzielville for the next 6 years. He agreed to it within minutes of being able to. Wow and to think that all of the experts had him bailing ASAP. Never trust the media.

At least now we know the future. We can build around Kyrie and Wiggy and sell that to free agents. Good job, good effort.

Jason Kidd has to have the biggest ego in sports. I don't think that playing chicken with that Russian billionaire is a good idea though.

I'll defend your neighbor. Bro, once it hits 10-11 pm, you've got to tone it down and respect your neighbors. That was a very Jason Kidd-like move to piss and moan about that. Sure, she could've come over and asked you to keep it down but she saw all the scalawags and vagabonds that were over there. No way. Cops or nothing.

RESPECT YOUR NEIGHBORS. It's in the Bible or something. Make sure you also covet the neighbor's hag though.

T. Iceman said...

Fuck the neighbors. It was a simple fix. Knock on the front door and ask us to kindly keep it down. If at that point we continue to be loud mouth shit hogs then by all means sick the cops on us. But you need to follow protocol and contact the source first. Plus only one neighbor out of four called the cops so it couldn't have been that bad. And it was the weekend. Get a life.

I understand the front office wasn't behind it. But the front office is trying to build something and represent themselves a certain way. I was just saying that I would be pissed if I were a front office guy and would be trying to find a way to get it removed. I wouldn't want a rich dick wad throwing that stuff up and sending wrong messages about my team.

Good job on locking up a guy who can't stay healthy. Proud of you.

I was wondering how the LOSEdians were doing, Drew. I hadn't heard much chatter lately.

T. Iceman said...

I've been watching a lot of Parks and Rec on Netflix lately. Ripped through all 5 seasons in 2 weeks. I was at the liquor store and was going to buy a bottle of Lagavulin in honor of Ron Swanson just to see what it's all about. It was $100 so I bought fireball instead. LOL! Just kidding. No idea why fireball is so popular. I'd Lagavulin acceptable whisky for you snobs?

Forgot to add this...there weren't any black people at the party so the neighbor had no reason to be afraid to come over. No crackers with neck tats either.

Prime99 said...

I'm surprised the billboard is allowed to stay up since it has LeBron and Duncan's faces on it. Without Spurs/NBA involvement (I believe neither are in on this) it would seem that someone could get sued for putting up the players' faces. Never mess with another man's rhubarb.

Gotta love a good cop call where nothing happens.

Anonymous said...

I'm a big fan of Lagavulin, but I will digress, it is not for the weak. If I were you and I was about to make an $85 purchase (its about $18 at restaurants for a single, neat), I would start with something cheaper like Laphroaig. That is more reasonably priced at about $40 a bottle, and is fairly similar. Islay scotches, such as Lagavulin, are very smoky, and often times taste like you're drinking a campfire. It's amazing, and I make a point to drink it about once amonth.

DISCLAIMER: Getting housed on Islay scotch will wreck your life beyond anything you've been through, ever. Your breath will reak of peat for the next 2 days, and the mere sight of alcohol will have you heaving in perpetuity. It is not advised. Have 2-3 in a night, tops.

Ide



GMoney said...

You were disturbing the peace and thus being scofflaws. It is not your neighbors job to citizens arrest you (though that would be hilarious). You should know better. Get your dickheads inside and show some goddamn respect. It's bad enough that she has to live near your filthy attic.

As we all know, the Pro Bowl MVP is the best player in the NFL (DeAngelo Hall confirmed this) thus it must be true in the NBA. Best player on the planet locked up for 6 years. He gives me 70 regular season games per year as he did this year and we'll be cutting down the nets (might need a bigger ladder for Dan Gilbert and his weiner son).

T. Iceman said...

There was an off duty cop at our party at the time of the noise complaint. He said that it wasn't that bad and the person was just being a whiney bitch. Maybe you can go move in with this bitch and be crotchety together. Didn't know you were so pro Angela Lansbury, G$.

$18 dollars a drink for Lagavulin in New York or in other places where everything is half the price? Still...even $9 for a drink at the bar is a little stiff. I'll stick with my $3 beers at a bar.

GMoney said...

I'm strongly considering citizens arresting your cop buddy. You don't get to pick and choose which laws you follow. Not in MY AMERICA!

Speaking of which...GO BELGIUM!

T. Iceman said...

So answer me this, Mr. Citizens Arrest. Why did only 1 neighbor out of 4 call to complain? If this act was so vile, don't you think at least one other neighbor would have complained? Especially the neighbor who lives closest to us?

I'm not sure I would've given Kyrie a max deal. The injury risk is just too high.

Mr. Ace said...

Iceman, have you ever heard of the Kitty Genovese case? That should answer your question as to why only one neighbor called.

Who the fuck else are the Cavs gonna get? Of course Kyrie is a max player. Anybody even frenge star that wants to go to Cleveland they have to take.

Bourbon> Scotch

T. Iceman said...

So you're diagnosing my neighbors with Genovese syndrome, Ace? Is that what I'm understanding?

I did what you said and read about that case. And it appears that in 2007, a study determined that the supposed 38 people who witnessed this crime and did nothing was false information. A lot of the facts used to create Genovese Syndrome are actually unfounded. The study also found no evidence for the presence of 38 witnesses, or that witnesses observed the murder, or that witnesses remained inactive. So one could argue that Genovese syndrome is actually made up and bullshit. So what's your point, Ace?

Anonymous said...

Iceman...you see your boy Manziel was out partying with Bieber last night?

--Drew

T. Iceman said...

And I wasn't saying the Cavs should go get someone else. I'm saying that I would have tried to sign Kyrie to a contract that was a little safer since he's such an injury risk. It just seems a little dangerous to me to max contract a guy who can't stay healthy.

GMoney said...

Just because they don't complain doesn't mean that they're watching Dateline and enjoying your rabble-rousing from across the street. Most people don't take the risk of confronting hooligans and hope it will go away or someone will do it for them. There you go getting all black and white again. IF WE WERE A PROBLEM THEN EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE BITCHED! No, that's not how things work.

You were a shitty neighbor on Saturday and you know it. Maybe if you invited your neighbors over then the cops wouldn't have shown up at all???

Exactly, Ape, if Kyrie isn't a max player then I don't know who is. He has some warts still as 22 year olds tend to have but the talent is mos def there and every team in the league would love to build around him. Of course the Cavs are going to pay him.

GMoney said...

It's nice to see someone so concerned over Dan Gilbert's wallet and ham wallet. That's sweet.

T. Iceman said...

I did see that, Drew. Nice to see the franchise quarterback surrounding himself with good people. CANT WAIT! for this season to start.

Mr. Ace said...

Genovese Syndrome? Where the fuck did you pull that term from? Had to be Wikipedia. Probably the same place you got your Rubin Carter info. Anyways, the Bystander Effect and Diffusion of Responsibility has been proven over and over again in studies. The larger the perceived crowd is the less likely people are to act. #FACT

Anonymous said...

Wow, I did not foresee Iceman getting killed today for his wild party antics. When did Ape and G$ become such old sticks in the mud?

The two summers I lived with Fagnasty back in Naptown, we routinely had Napoleon's finest showing up on our doorstep for post-Rick's bashes, sometimes deserved, sometimes not. It got to the point where if we had three people on his porch, the cops were showing up. It was ridiculous.

Ape and G$ and people of their ilk need to GIVE IT A REST and let people live.

-Damman

Mr. Ace said...

Whoa whoa whoa. I never said anything about whether or not the cops were deserved, I just pointed out that Icemans explanation of only one neighbor calling proving his innocence is bogus. Lesbihonest, do you really believe that an Iceman hosted party with all the heathens and hooligans at his place weren't deserving of police intervention? I have no doubt he deserved to be tased.

GMoney said...

If you keep it indoors then it shouldn't be a problem for anyone. And don't be naive, those cop show-ups at FagNasty's were always warranted. Porn should not be turned up that loud.

T. Iceman said...

I read more than one article about the Kitty Genovese case, Ace, and they all referenced Genovese Syndrome...or the bystander effect. It appeared you were attempting to use the facts of that specific case to prove your point. But the facts of that case are historically incorrect.

Damman gets it. He's invited to Iceman parties from now on because I know he won't transform into a 90 year old grumpy bastard at 11PM.

GMoney said...

That's the key though. If you invite people, they won't act like twats.

Can you really blame your neighbors for not wanting to listen to NOFX at all hours of the night? No one wants to listen to NOFX no matter what time it is.

Fun FACT that is relatable. When I lived in Cleveland, I had security show up at my apartment door for a noise complaint. It was accurate. I enjoyed playing College Football 2004 while drinking and listening to loud music in those days. When I answered the door and he asked me to turn the music down, a Hall & Oates song was blaring through my speakers. Lamest or greatest noise complaint ever???

Lot of movement in the NHL today. Jackets and Wings are Hawks are doing nothing at the moment though. That's fine for us. We're a Cup favorite. The other two better get on it.

Prime99 said...

ELITE noise complaint!

Cup favorite BJs? LULZ!

Anonymous said...

That's as close to fact as ever told on this website.

Ide

T. Iceman said...

Woulda been better if you had Dire Straights Money For Nothing cranked.

GMoney said...

It's pronounced FACT. That is short for FACTORBACK.

GO BELGIANS!