"I must go back and make sure Ide is never born!"
Now this isn't a post to debate the merits of time travel and whether or not it could happen. I'm sure there are people (Cakes and Ace) who think it's TOTES possible and others (Ide and G$) who will chortle at the idea. For the sake of argument we're saying it can happen and you can only pick 3 destinations. Here's where my flux capacitor is taking me.
3. The Jurassic Period
One word. Dinosaurs. I don't give a shit who you are or how old you are. Everyone loves dinosaurs. If you say you don't you're telling #IdeLies and #G$Lies to yourself. I'm not sure exactly how long I would want to stay but the chance to see a real dinosaur in person is something I would not be able to pass up.
What I would bring back: Dinosaur egg. For sure. I would find a way to preserve that bitch and bring back a T-Rex egg to keep forever. I know there would be no way to authenticate it (maybe a archaeologist or dinosaur historian could) but I would know it's real and that's all that matters.
2. Civil War Era
OBVZ I would want to be far, far away from all the battles and bloodshed but I couldn't pass up the chance to be in the same era as the most devastating war in American History. Family members killing each other, slavery abolished, the Lincoln assassination. So much history packed into a 4 year period.
What I would bring back: One of Lincoln's top hats or tons of war artifacts from the Confederate Army. Anything Confederate related from the Civil War is huge money in today's market and it's extremely rare to find anything authentic since the Union destroyed almost everything after the surrender.
1. The 1920's
The 20's had it all, man. The rise of organized crime, prohibition, the stock market crashing, the great depression, Babe Ruth. I could spend years in places like New York, Chicago and LA during the 20's. Plus it would be a great opportunity to thwart that whole Women's Rights movement mistake.
What I would bring back: A bottle of Speakeasy hooch or something Al Capone related. Bur not his syphilis. I don't want his syphilis.
It goes without saying that I will definitely find a way to make myself Biff Tannen from alternate 1985 universe in Back the Future II rich. Short one today, dick sucks. This is my last week in BROhio and most of my time has been spent packing 34 years away. When I'm not cracking out on Netflix, of course. This Sunday Wheelz and I will fucking finally be making the move down to Florida. So since we will be sans Internet for at least a few days, next Tuesday my duties will be handled by a commenter here whom has already been informed. I told him to make sure it's NBA related because I know you all love my NBA posts. That's my time today. Can't wait to read all the Indians related events Cakes and Damman would time travel back to.