Monday, July 21, 2014

Another Round of "A-Hole of the Week"

Today is Guam Liberation Day and I would like to explain to you why it is important.
In what is turning out to be the most anticipated event of the year, She$ is due one week from today.  God, I just want this to be over.  I feel like Homer waiting on his background check before he could get his gun...waiting is the hardest part.  Anyway, my biggest concern right now is that I don't want the wife's water to break at home because that would fall on my shoulders to clean up and I really don't feel like mopping up amniotic fluid ever.  Let's break that shit at work and let the Ohio Buckeyes worry about it.  Most people would probably consider this a very asshole-ish mind frame.  And you are right!

But that just leads us to today's post which I do from time to time...Asshole of the Week!  We've got some damn fine nominees this time.

Chris Kluwe!  You may remember Kluwe as a mediocre punter for the Vikings but more than likely you know him as a trouble-making gay rights activist.  The Vikings cut him (he was a distraction AND he sucked...a really double threat!) so he decided to scorch the earth and burn every bridge leading back to the NFL by outing a ton of Vikings coaches as bigots.  Now he is suing the Vikes and going on massive Twitter rants about whatever.  All I know is that if you want to be outspoken, you better be prepared to deal with the consequences.  Clearly, he is not.  And another thing, if you are going to get up on your high horse and point fingers at a coach who wants to nuke all the faggots, you better not be telling Jerry Sandusky jokes yourself.  Sorry, Chris, you douche bag, but mocking gay people is way more tolerable than laughing at child rape.  Go fuck yourself.

Chris Broussard! When does ESPN just take this guy off the air already?  Enough is enough.  I believe it was Drew who said a few weeks ago that Broussard's only "sources" are his church group and that is probably true.  HE.  KNOWS.  NOTHING.  We got to spend all weekend hearing about these "Wiggins is now on the table" rumors while reporters way better than him have adamantly refuted that story.  In FACT, the last offer that the Cavs made was Tristan/Bennett/a first round pick which is a far cry from what Broussard would have you believe.  Chris Broussard is absolutely terrible at his job.  This can't be said enough.

The Houston Astros! I'm not sure how familiar all of you are with how the MLB Draft works but it is strange.  So they draft kids and then have a 5-6 week window to sign them.  Once that window closes, they lose all rights to that kid and he goes to college or wherever but NOT into the pros (this is a very weird system).  Houston had the first pick for the third year in a row and drafted HS LHP Brady Aiken #1.  High school pitchers never get drafted in the top 5, let alone first, so you know that this kid is bananas.  An 18 year old kid with a 97 mph heater and ELITE breaking pitches would fit that bill.  MLB picks are slotted financially so the money shouldn't really be an issue.  But Houston yanked their offer this week and cut the 6.5 million dollar signing bonus in half citing "elbow concerns".  First of all, did you not have these concerns 5 weeks ago?  Second, doctors can fix whatever might be wrong.  Third, WHY DID YOU DRAFT HIM THEN!!!  The clock ran out so Aiken is no longer Astros property.  Houston just punted the #1 overall pick.  That is AWFUL business and they are getting fileted by the media as they should.  Maybe they thought that they were about to pay Brady Cakesen?  I don't know.  Either way, this defines "epic fail".

Colby Lewis!  Read this and try not to SMDH while you are doing so.  This is embarrassing.  What a cocksucker.  HOW DARE HE TRY TO GET ON BASE.

People That Dislike Les Miles! Lester is turning an American treasure.  Every time that he meets with the media these days, it is pure gold.  Him talking about the World Cup at SEC Media Day was just the best.  How can anyone hate this guy?  I love Les Miles.

Harold Reynolds! During the All Star Game, She$ said "Who is this guy?  He is really annoying."  Of course she was referring to Reynolds who is rotten and should not be on TV.  Another big fuck you to Fox for not even mentioning Tony Gwynn.  How hard would it be to do an In Memoriam segment in between innings during the ASG?  That would be really cool IMO.  But back to Harold, I never thought that I would miss Tim McCarver yet here I am.

So who is the Asshole of the Week?  I'm giving it to Kluwe because someone who is an advocate for tolerance should be aware that there is going to be backlash to strong takes.  Plus, he appears to be pro Jerry Sandusky with his love for gays and disdain for child innocence.  Bold stance there.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

MLB teams are not allowed to have a physical on a player until they draft him so that is why the Astros didn't notice until after they drafted him. The MLB drafting system is confusing as hell.

Larry

T. Iceman said...

Maybe they thought Brady Aiken was related to Clay Aiken and thought better of it.

Nuke all the faggots is a pretty powerful stance on gay marriage.

For not knowing anything at all...Broussard sure nailed that whole LeBron thing before everyone else.

GMoney said...

Is that true? Wow between that and not being able to trade picks, the mlb draft is bonkers. Still though they passed on the first pick lol

What did Broussard get right about LeBron that wasn't already widely reported???

Mr. Ace said...

So does Aiken now have to move on to college ball? Or can another time sign him as a free agent? Just another reason why baseball is dumb.

Nick Sheridan is the one who nailed the LeBron stuff....and some BRAH physical trainer in Cleveland who somehow had inside info. Broussard just tailed the people in the know. He also squarely falls in the burn all fags group. He's probably my least favorite person to hear talk on ESPN.

I share a lot of Kluwe's views and do believe that he is out of the league because of being outspoken and not being a bad punter. But guess what, when you want to step out in the limelight in let the world know your opinion on something the world gets to react however they see fit. And I also agree with some twitter peeps criticizing Kluwe for only coming out with this info after he was cut. If it was truly so awful and against your value system then put it out there when it happens.

Jeff said...

If a deal for Love goes down, wiggins will be involved.

Pretty sure Colby Lewis got into Ron Washingtons crack stash.

GMoney said...

Aiken committed to UCLA but my go juco instead. He has options but none of them pay cash money this year.

I don't see us trading wiggins and I don't see minny winning whatever trade eventually happens. The "blockbuster" discussions that Broussard reported on we're just flat out lies. That's the point. He isn't plugged in at all.

Anonymous said...

I think it was only like $1.5 mil difference what the Astros final offer to Aiken was and what he wanted. $1.5 mil more for a first pick in the draft seems like a pretty easy leap to make. Bad form by the Astros.

He goes back into the draft again next year. I assume he will go the JUCO route as I'm pretty sure you have to stay in college for three years if you go to college. JUCO is different obviously.

Les Miles press conferencese are can't miss TV.

#Windians

-Damman

GMoney said...

And it isn't like the Astros are a small market team. That is a big market franchise with NO STATE TAX! They are paying Scott fucking Feldman 30 million over the next three years and now they want to pinch pennies over a super-talented stud? DUMB.

I think it was Olney who said that Aiken would make 30-40 million if he were on the free agent market. Yet Houston is afraid to give him 6.5. Again, DUMB.

If Mike and Mike are making fun of Colby Lewis then you know he is a fuck-up. What odd rationale there. "You knew he was only doing it for his batting average when he didn't steal within the first two pitches of the next batter." But you got mad at him right away. You didn't wait to see if he had ulterior motives. If you are allowed to shift then the batter is more than allowed to make you look like a pussy for shifting. What a cock.

Chris Kluwe: Pro Gays, Pro Child Molestataion

Prime99 said...

Odd that both guys in the dumb baseball argument are named Colby. They should stick together with a dumb name like that.

T. Iceman said...

"Q. Who are the beat reporters/people that I should trust when it comes to rumors on this story?
A. We all know that Windhorst is LeBron's bitch and Mempis Broussard is one of the few people that has an in with Rich Paul apparently. I also take Incarcerated Bob's twitter leaks seriously, too, because he does usually nail his story breaks."

So Broussard was credible enough to trust when it came to reporting that LeBron was coming back to Cleveland...but now he's an idiot and not plugged in at all only a week later? Interesting how that works.

GMoney said...

Broussard is one of the few people that has an in with Rich Paul apparently.

Apparently is a key word to show the doubt that I had. Even him being BFFs with LeBron's agent still didn't lead to a scoop or ANY factual information.

Again, all of this "Wiggins is on the table now!" shit has been perpetuated by him and way better reporters are saying "LOL NO".

I'm not trying to be a Kluwe here but the Cavs aren't known for their FO leaks (see: every draft as proof) and now we are supposed to believe that they are ridiculously lowering their leverage? Makes no sense. Think about it. How does this make ANY sense from the Cleveland side???

GMoney said...

HOLY SHIT. Miami is offering a miniature Johnny BRAH statue to anyone that buys season tickets. I better be getting one of these ASAP.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ Ape saying Michigan's walk-on QB from 4 or 5 years ago broke the LeBron news.

Also, LOLZ @ Damman for posting #Windians after a loss.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at Drew completely ignoring the Windians taking 3 of 4 in DbagTOWN, including a day/night double header. But nice win yesterday, Brah - congrats on 1 of 4 from the lowly Indians, at home.

Seal

T. Iceman said...

I just find it humorous that Cavs fans were "Broussard is all things NBA and that's how we know LeBron is coming back because he so credible.". And then after LeBron comes back they're saying "He so dumb and is black and hates gay people." now that he's reporting wiggins is being shopped. Comedy indeed.

Mr. Ace said...

Ya....Chris Sheridan is the hoops guy. The first year under RichRod will forever be scorched in my brain.

Mr. Ace said...

And Broussard is the whitest black person ever. He makes Blake Griffin look like Kevin Garnett. Can't trust that guy.

GMoney said...

There goes Iceman again with his "extremes only" takes. I covered my ass there because I had my doubts. Those doubts were confirmed because the guy knows nothing. That nothingness continues to be confirmed.

"Broussard is all things NBA and that's how we know LeBron is coming back because he so credible."

Not one person has ever said this, implied this, or even thought this. Keep trying though. It never gets old to watch you fail at arguing in the comments.

T. Iceman said...

""Q. Who are the beat reporters/people that I should trust when it comes to rumors on this story?"

These are your words. Your question to yourself from your mouth. Do you always trust the words of people you doubt who have questionable NBA credibility?

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at Slow Seal being pumped about being 5.5 games behind a team! LOLZZZZZ! That's an impressive display of Windians wisdom right there.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I guess I have to do this again...

Broussard is one of the few people that has an in with Rich Paul apparently.

Apparently is a key word to show the doubt that I had. Even him being BFFs with LeBron's agent still didn't lead to a scoop or ANY factual information.

Cakes said...

HOT TAEK ALERT! I think I agree with everything you wrote. This never happens and I feel a little dirty admitting it.

Rapid fire responses because I don't have any time today.

STFU Kluwe! This guys act is getting old.

STFU Broussard. Nothing, and I mean nothing, this guy has said has turned out to be even remotely true. Solid career where you can be wrong 95% of the time and still get PAID!

Do you, Houston. Do you. You OBVZ missed out on a future HOF'er. Anybody named Brady (minus the Hokester) is bound for greatness.

Colby Lewis is ridiculous. Trying to get a bunt single in the 5th inning of a 2-0 game?? HOW DARE YOU!

Les Miles would certainly be more entertaining and WAY more successful had Michigan landed him as head coach. Instead, they settled for a .500 coach from some BFE conference. Hilarious stuff.

Nobody misses Harold Reynolds.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at anyone thinking its stupid to be happy that the team you root for who is in second place beat the first place team and division rival in 3 of 4 games on the road. Thinking its funny that we are happy we won 3 games this weekend is absolutely fucking retarded, even if we are 5.5 games back. Dont be so dumb...

Seal

T. Iceman said...

I guess I have to do this again also. You asked yourself who you trust with the LeBron information. Now if Brousarrd is someone you doubt at times and isn't someone you fully trust with NBA news...why in the fuck was his name in that paragraph answering the question?

Anonymous said...

Nuke the whales.

Anonymous said...

OK Slow. When you guys don't make the playoffs at least you'll have that double-header you won back in July to cheers some beers to and enjoy with your Windians buddies.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

So basically what you are saying is when you root for a team that isnt in first place, you should never be happy through the entire year, right?

Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound?

We arent better than you, but get over it and suck it up instead of being a little baby bitch that the windians took 3 of 4 from you this weekend.

Seal

GMoney said...

At the time of that ELITE Q&A, it was widely considered that Broussard was one of the few people that had an in with Rich Paul. So he was obvz a guy to keep an eye on. HOWEVAH, that turned out to be an IdeLie and produced nothign remotely factual. I didn't think that this was that hard and I apologize to everyone for having to read through this.

Being bros with someone important is great when it actually benefits the story. But when nothing comes from it then you go back to being worthless.

Not hard. Not hard at all. Everyone else seems to get this.

You losers should be focusing on that hilarious sweep that the Yankees gave the Reds this past weekend. The Reds are flat out rotten. Like Tonya's vagina...count it.

Anonymous said...

Ah, two of my favorite staples of this site today...Seal vs Drew and G$ vs Iceman arguing all day over semantics.

Seal destroying Drew has made my Monday more enjoyable. G$ vs Iceman...not so much.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

LOLZ! Is it the "lowly" Indians or the "2nd place" Indians. You can't even decide which method of dumb troll you want to roll out today.


I am happy for you that maybe when your child is born you can now tell it about the great doubleheader sweep in July of 2014.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Its cute how butthurt you are over the windians winning the series this weekend and how much I have destroyed you today... take the rest of the day off before you make yourself look dumber.

Once again everyone, you are never allowed to be happy when your team beats up on its division rival, if they arent in first place. Its stupid for you to cheer for them and be happy that they won 3 of 4 games. You have to be sad about your team and then after the season you can look back and be happy then.

Wow. Who is slow? Fucking idiot.

Seal

GMoney said...

Our BEEFS are never fun because they are always so one-sided and Iceman constantly comes off a mentally challenged half-wit. Trust me, I don't WANT to kick his commenting ass all the time but that is how the world works. God bless.

GMoney said...

Relax, Seal, you couldn't even beat Drool Smyly and he blows.

The only thing that I learned from that series is that Terry Francona was clearly motivated to be a better manager after getting the chance to coach Derek Jeter earlier in the week. THE CAPTAIN.

T. Iceman said...

No one talks around being wrong more than G$. It's something of an artform. Almost impressive if it weren't so sad.

Cakes said...

Drew trying to gloss over the fact that the Tigers got OWNED in 3/4 and we picked up 2 games in 3 days is cute. Nice bullpen you got there in Detroit. I'm sure that won't come back to hanut you in the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ! "Butthurt"...What idiots like Slow don't realize...because they aren't winners...is the no Tigers fan is "butt hurt" about your regular season double header sweep...because it's not a big deal. The Tigers have the biggest 1st place lead in baseball...it's cute how awesome it was for you and Damman tho. Enjoy your parade.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Drew, you and I hardly ever get into commenting spats. Makes sense that a former Money Shot Man of the Year and current Commenter of the Year would realize that they are the best of the best.

That said, your last comment confirmed how right I was when I said that Tigers fasn shouldn't care about regular season games anymore. You just admitted that I was correct even though you fought me tooth and nail that day. My memory is almost as ELITE as my winning percentage (100%).

This site is always fair and balanced which is why I had to reference that. Continue to smack the fools down at will though.

Anonymous said...

Cakes is now on board....we now have the three headed Windians retarded triumvirate engaged. ..yes! Glossing over....butt hurt...it's amazing just how bad you Windians fans want Tigers fans to act devastated about losing 3 of 4 games in July....to only keep a 5.5 game lead. I've never seen a better example of how deep the Tigers are in your heads.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

G$....Fair enough...but, I still do get enjoyment out of sitting in 1st place for the vast majority of the year. There is indeed a lack of intensity/suspense though. These fools did need smacked down tho.

--Drew

GMoney said...

three headed Windians retarded triumvirate

LOL! Love it.

Anonymous said...

You need to get a plastic sheet on your bed ASAP, unless you want to take the chance of having to buy a new mattress. If her water breaks anywhere else in the house, you have a dog that will most likely to be happy to lick that shit up for you.

-OH Nate

GMoney said...

I know this. We're going to play fast and loose though because I told her "eh, we probably need a new mattress anyway".

I am the laziest and most disgusting person ever.