|OH CANADA, CLE STANDS ON GUARD FOR THEEEEEEEE!!!|
Andrew Wiggins is a goddamn STUD who does EVERYTHING. Sure, people weren't always a big fan of his aggressiveness at Kansas but he should have never been in college anyway. He was always an NBA player and unlike Fatty Parker, he plays both ends of the court very, very well. This just in, the Cavs don't have a lot of gritty defenders. The FACT is that now the Cavaliers have three dynamic wing scorers. That's a good spot to be in. FYI, the Cavs aren't trying to draft their "Jordan" because we already have our franchise player. We're trying to get Kyrie his Pippen. I think that we have.
Like I said at the top, there is a decent chance that will passing on the big guy who has KILLED LIONS in his past, but we are fine. Have you not heard that LeBron is coming back!!! Other thoughts from the Draft:
*The stone-faced post-pick Embiid still was hilarious but wasn't really accurate. Just typical conservative media trying to make a talented black man look like an idiot.
*Dante Exum's dad is Perd Hapley. Best Tweet of the night. YA HERD?
*Bill Simmons is the absolute worst. Here's his schtick: if he doesn't like your team or have a buddy in the front office that leaks him info, he will BURY everything that your team does. He does this all the time. And he is fucking terrible. I don't know why ESPN keeps stuffing his stupid face and voice down our throats.
*Marcus Smart and Rajon Rondo get into a fist fight before the end of the first practice. GUARANSHEED. Poor Brad Stevens...he's going to need to hire Suge Knight as his bodyguard just for team flights.
*Congratulations, Prime, your hometown heroes finally replaced Jimmer with Canadian Jimmer! Needless to say...YOU ON!
*Speaking of white STUDS (remember that dating show? STUDS was not ELITE), the Bulls traded for Dougie McBuckets which makes them way more likeable. It should be a real hoot to watch him have to play defense for Thibs. Then again, like I said on Wednesday, his ceiling is "tremendous bench scorer" and that's good because he will never start in Chicago. Speaking of which, word is starting to leak on Twitter (IBN) that Carmelo to the Bulls is a done deal. Take it for what it's worth but Bob loves to break stories and he does it more often than not.
*Mitch McGary-Hoffman-Durham is going to OKC. Yeah, that's what is holding them back from beating the Spurs...an oaf with bad piss. Nevertheless, I would have wanted the Cavs to take him at 33.
*LEBRON GETS HIS MAN! THE LURE HAS BEEN CAST! SHABAZZ WILL BE THE ONE TO BRING LEBRON BACK TO SOUF BEACH! LURE LURE LURE!
*I'm going to cut this short now with chills down my spine and maybe a watery eye. Goddamn you, NBA. What you did for Isaiah Austin last night was the best thing ever. That poor guy has had to put up with a ton of unavoidable shit in his life and you did the absolute rightest thing ever by drafting him into the NBA. Best moment of the night. That is up there with one of the best moments in the history of the NBA Draft.
Fire off your HOT TAEKS on anything today. Draft? Soccer? It doesn't matter. Just know that Floyd Mayweather put 100K on the Cavs to win the 2014-2015 title the other day. Why? No fucking clue but he must know something that no one else does. All I know is that Coach Blatz (how I will spell it) and Andrew Wiggins = SUPER BOWL!!!