Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Mount Rushmore: TV Edition

"Shoot the J.  SHOOT IT!"

One thing I dig about this blog is that not everything has to be about sports.  G$ sometimes brings hot food TAEKS while Ace pisses in God's face.  Or figuratively slaps Mrs. Ward across the lips with his Ide sized lies about dogs.  Today it's time to talk boob.  The boob tube to be more specific.  We've talked before about terrible TV characters.  Ace came clean to the blogging world about his ghost sized erections.  We even let Ide get in on the fun with the best currently running TV shows.  But we've never done a Mount Rushmore of Best and Worst TV shows of all time.  Today is that day.

Mount Rushmore Best of all time

Beavis and Butthead - As a young child I knew I was watching something I wasn't supposed to be.  But I watched every last episode anyway.  To my knowledge, it was one of the first TV cartoon shows to ever push the envelope with toilet humor.  Parents fucking hated it and that made kids love it even more.  Brilliant marketing scheme.  Shows like South Park and Family Guy wouldn't be around if it weren't for Beavis and Butthead paving the way.

Breaking Bad - I STILL have friends who haven't watched this show in its entirety.  Some haven't even started it.  It makes me so fucking mad that someone would go out of their way to not watch arguably the best TV show ever made.  Breaking Bad did it the right way.  They took a brilliant idea, made an even more brilliant show and didn't drone on to the point where it needed to be dragged behind the barn to be put out of its misery.  Kill yourself if you haven't watched Breaking Bad.

Arrested Development - I will never understand why this show was euthanized so quickly. I've watched this entire series about 30 times and any time it's on TV I stop changing channels immediately.  If you've never heard of Arrested Development I really, honestly feel sorry for you.  If you've heard of it and refuse to watch it then I fucking hate you and want you to die.  Well, maybe not die...but definitely a nasty case of bloody diarrhea.

M.A.S.H. - LOL!  Just kidding, Grumpy.  Put your Jamie Farr boner away.

Chappelle's Show - Tragically, this show only made it 3 seasons because Dave Chappelle lost his fucking mind in the process of becoming the world's funniest human.  This is one of those shows where people will still be quoting it 50 years from now.  Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories is literally the best thing I've ever seen on a TV show.  Period.  I'm not sure if anything in the future will ever make me LOL the way that skit did.  God I miss that fucking show...

The Office wasn't included because it sucked hairy dong towards the end.  Same with Dexter.  A show has to be flawless from start to finish and cannot end painfully like those two did.  If Fargo continues more than one season and stays on its current path, it could possibly break into this Mount Rushmore.  For those who are not watching Fargo, correct that mistake right away.  Fucking tremendous.  Rumor has it True Detective is heading in that direction as well.  I'll decide for myself once my season 1 Bluray gets delivered (Thanks, Grumpy!).

Mount Rushmore Worst of all time

Sex and the City - Or as I like to call it...Whores Being Whores in New York.  Sarah Jessica Parker is not hot so a show about her being hot is fucking stupid to me.  And she has a fist nose.  This horrific creation started the "girls ordering martinis at a sports bar" craze which made me want to slam my dick in a car door.  Fuck everything about this show.

Grey's Anatomy - McDreamy, McSteamy, McCunty, McShutyourfuckingmouthalready.  How annoying was this show and those stupid fucking nicknames?  Plus any terrible show that is responsible for terrible spin off shows belongs on this list.  Grey's Anatomy was behind the unfortunate birth of at least one shitty show starring some broad that was probably just as crappy.  I would guess the spin off show made it 2 seasons before it was put out of its misery.

Desperate Housewives - The show that made it okay to try to murder your husband!  Or at least that's what I think it was about.  I don't know.  Just another stupid show for idiot women.

The Tom Green Show - Dumb as fuck.  Almost as dumb as Jackass.  I've never really found Tom Green all that funny and the show was just him going around being an annoying asshole.  Not for me.  Same with the Jackass TV show.

That's a wrap, dildos.  I'm sure there will be a lot of Seinfeld on Mount Rushmores today.  I'll never understand the popularity of that show.  Never.  I really wanted to put Transformers. G.I. Joe or X-Men cartoons on my Mount Rushmore but just couldn't.  I've rewatched stuff from my childhood I remember being awesome and it turns out that it wasn't very awesome after all.  I'm sure those cartoons would follow suit.  One more thing.  GO HEAT!


Anonymous said...

This must be a farce. My post 2 years AFO was superior and that was then.

Beavis and Butthead!?! Fuck you.

Arrested Development was great, but 19:1 you haven't seen the last season. Dickhead.

Zero Game of Thrones and Justified. What a cunt troll.

No. Stop. This post is fake.


Anonymous said...

How did da Ali g show not make the list?

Beavis and butthead is only on this list if you're under the influence.

Breaking bad is my favorite show of all time.

Leaving the cunt tree for a week. Have fun at work y'all! Sitting in coach on my flight though. Guess I don't know how to travel.


Grumpy said...

1. The Lone Ranger
2. Roy Rogers
3. Gene Autry
4. Bob Newhart (any of them)
5. Andy Griffith

News Flash: TV didn't start in 1990.

Grumpy said...

Seriously, if you get TV Land catch The Twilight Zone. Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Mark Paul Gosselar
Joe Schmo
Vince McMahon
Anthony Bourdaine


Anonymous said...

Yeah...Beavis and Butthead? Really? Funny show but all time great?

Not going to rehash the Seinfeld argument, but it will be quoted for the the next 100 years.

I don't watch Game of Thrones, Walking Dead or Breaking Bad out of spite. I'm tired of everyone and mother telling me on Facebook and Twitter how unbelievably awesome those shows are don't want to give them the satisfaction.

24 would probably crack my top 5 as would watching Lonnie Chisenhall play baseball.


Mr. Ace said...

Real World/Road Rules Challenge
Chappell Show
Are You Afraid of The Dark
Bar Rescue

Mr. Ace said...

I just finished season 1 of House of Cards. That show is ELITE.

GMoney said...

I don't know what Drew is listing but if you're putting Zack Morris, Schmo, and Vinnie Mac in the same place then I'm listening.

I thing you have to break this down into sub-categories: animated, sitcom, drama, whatever is left.

Animated: The Simpsons - There are NO cartoons on primetime today without them. FACT.

Sitcom: Cheers - I'll give the nod to them because it was great and spawned an incredibly successful spin-off (not easy)

Drama: Breaking Bad - OBVZ

What's Left: The Wire - Just so many ELITE stories and ELITE characters. Will anyone top Fuzzy Dunlop?

I'll have to think about Mt. Shitmore but I have a hard time picking against Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory, Everybody Loves Raymond, and American Idol.

GMoney said...

FYI, Burke DVR'ed Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives. He also enjoys the work of Brad Garrett.

Iceman, let's just say that you and I have a very different taste in entertainment. You prefer semen OBVZ.

Can we all agree that Louie is fucking weird now. I mean, the show is "good" but it is SOOOOO much of a grind to get through. Without the comedic genius of Todd Barry, this show would produce no LULZ. Last night's 90 minute slog through his pot phase was incredibly exhausting. They call this a dark comedy but IMO it is just dark.

Best thing on TV is the Rangers losing. FACT.

T. Iceman said...

Da Ali G show is on the same level as the Tom Green Show and Jackass. Just add a British accent to the concept of "guy walking around being an idiot".

I realize TV existed before 1990, Grumpy. But I'm sure it was all terrible. And there is far more ELITE stuff today so why would I go back and watch boring stuff from the 70s? Plus there are only 4 heads on Mount Rushmore. Not 5, idiot.

Ide, I have Netflix and a lot of time on my hands. Are you sure those are the odds you want to go with?

I stand by Beavis and Butthead. It was revolutionary and just flat out aweseome. Cartoons would have eventually busted into primetime television without the Simpsons. Because kids and stuff.

Dut travels coach so he can sit in the middle and hope to be flanked by men so he can go skiing.

Damman refuses to watch Breaking Bad out of spite. Sweet bastard. I bet you cover your eyes when a girl shows her tits in a movie too, don't you?

Mr. Ace said...

Da Ali G show was much more than Tom Green or Jackass. He had levels to his shit. I can watch YouTube videos from that show for days. Dutdog knows what he is talking about on this one. It's a shame it only lasted for a couple seasons.

GMoney said...

I'm going to have to agree with T. Iceman...Da Ali G Show is mung.

T. Iceman said...

I've been forced to watch episodes of that shit, Ace. I never saw levels outside of levels of idiocy. Sacha Baron Cohen is the British Tom Green. Borat proved that. I never watched it but someone told me he lets some dude slide dong over his face. What level was that?

Mr. Ace said...

That was a movie made based off one character in that show. And it was made 10 years after the show was off the air.

GMoney said...

I have to admit that I was a pretty big Tom Green fan back in the day. Then again, I was also a fan of Jackass and Viva La Bam so I must be pretty stupid.

T. Iceman said...

Not a lot of talk about Fargo. That means that either no one is watching it or we all agree that it's fantastic. I also forgot to give Parks and Rec a plug. One of the best shows on TV. Not on my Mount Rushmore only because I'm nervous it could go the way of The Office and drag out.

T. Iceman said...

Another show that should have been on my Mount Shitmore is Tim and Eric Awesome show: Great Job! Fuckin' A. One of the dumbest things I've ever seen.

Viva La Bam?? Woof. Why Bam's parents never kicked him out of the house is beyond me. Maybe because I'm sure MTV was paying them handsomely.

Jeff said...

I don't care if Simpsons was the gateway, Family Guy is the best.

Fargo is awesome.

Are You Afraid of the Dark is a great call, Ace.

Nothing better than watching the Rags get booed on home ice in the finals.

Homeland was decent for a season and a half, i think.

GMoney said...

Fargo is fantastic. I think that I like it more than True Detective. I'm not sure how they could get a second season out of it without changing the entire cast, but if this is it then I am very satisfied.

GMoney said...

Homeland could easily be on Shitmore with Dexter. Showtime has been awful and thus I dropped them even though I was a big fan of Shameless.

Anonymous said...

"I just finished season 1 of House of Cards. That show is ELITE."

Fuck yes. Post on here ASAP when you see the first episode of season 2, and you stop being numb for a few days. Frank Underwood gets after it. That show is great.

Netflix is killing television right now, and its a shame that only Nibbles, me and now possibly Ape watch it. Yet, people want to have a television discussion here. It's cute.

Also, on Netflix, please feel free to watch and catch up on all the Sherlock and Luther. BBC also makes ELITE shows.


Jeff said...

How about Nip/Tuck? That show ended up being a train wreck.

T. Iceman said...

I started watching Nip/Tuck last year, Jeff. I couldn't really get into it. I think I made it through half a season. Same with Weeds. Made it through 1 season and was kinda bored with it. I started watching Heroes last night. So far it's....okay. We'll see if it deserves more of my attention.

Wheelz wants to start watching Orange is the New Black. I'm nervous to watch it because A. she watches really awful television and B. it sounds like a lot of women enjoy it and I never trust a woman's opinion when it comes to good TV.

I'm with you on Fargo, G$. If it ends here I'm content because they nailed every last part of this show.

GMoney said...

FYI, Big Brother starts in 15 days. The Biggest Party of the Summer is back!

Anonymous said...

Orange is the New Black is great Ice. The new season is REALLY heavy on the lesbian sex stuff, but it can be fucking hilarious at times. Big fan of that show. Pornstache is the greatest. Feeding the inmates piss gravy is ELITE.


GMoney said...

FYI FYI...Big Bro will be shot in HD this year because it's 2014 and why the fuck weren't they doing this already???

T. Iceman said...

You had me at piss gravy, Ide.

T. Iceman said...

Did anyone ever watch Deadwood? I was a big fan of that series but it was only 3 seasons. Some of Tim Olyphant's best work, IMO.

Grumpy said...

Deadwood was great, as is Fargo. If you know anybody from Minnesota the characters are spot on.

The Wire was probably the best television ever made.

Cakes said...

Beavis and Buthead don't belong on this list. The movie is pretty funny though.

I still have yet to watch one second of Breaking Bad. I'm not actively trying to avoid it but it just hasn't made it into the rotation. I'll probably do the same thing that I did with GOT and binge watch the fuck out of it.

Fargo is TOTES on it's way to being all-time ELITE. I can't wait for the new one tonight.

Chiz just got another RBI.

Mr. Ace said...

Playmakers. Somebody bring that shot back ASAP.

Prime99 said...

So much cover:

Ide, stop being uppity about having Netflix. I have it too, bro, but no need to brag about it.

Beavis and Butthead was great, but not top 4 ELITE. Hard to argue against the other three, though.

I enjoyed Carnivale on HBO and Lost a ton. Both have easy argument against them (Carnivale was cancelled too early and Lost lost viewers who didn't enjoy critical thinking.) However, both were great mystery shows. I've never watched Twin Peaks but I've heard that falls into a similar play.

Whatever Drew's list was for, I agree with it also.

Fargo is ELITE.

GoT is ELITE. Just passed Sopranos for HBO's most watched show ever.

I also miss Chappelle's Show. Ended way too early. BYAAAA!

T. Iceman said...

What I love about Fargo is that people from Minnesota and North Dakota absolutely hate how the show portrays them and their accents. DONCHA KNOW!!

Doesn't surprise me Cakes hasn't watched Breaking Bad. No time for ELITE TV shows when you live tweet every single Indians game.

Anonymous said...

Not bragging at all. Upoitybwiukd be me constantly raving about Orphan Black, Luther, Broadchurch, and Sherlock or any other BBC show (all ELITE).

This site has long proclaimed its love for television, and the negligence of the online forum which is now growing massively in popularity is odd. For instance, everyone here loves Arrested Development, and include that in their best of lists (see above) How many here have seen the amazing season 4?

Its not uppity to point out many people here neglect a huge part of the discussion they are trying to have.


Anonymous said...

Uppity would*

Anonymous said...

Ape...didn't know you were a fan of The Challenge. I absolutely love that show and take it way too seriously. Best show on TV at the moment.


Cakes said...

Broadchurch was really good. That's the first BBC show I'd ever watched. Bonus for having Walder Frey in it.

Right now I'm knocking out "Eastbound and Down" off my TV bucket list. Once I've completed that, it's on to Breaking Bad. Hopefully all of the seasons are On Demand. I'm lazy and don't want to have to rent them. That will add another year before I end up watching it.

I'm pretty psyched for that new show "Tyrant" on FX this summer as well. It looks pretty sweet. CRAZY TOWEL HEADS!

Anonymous said...

Animation: family guy
Sitcom: Seinfeld
Drama: braking bad even though I'm only on season 4
Reality: the challenge

How does ESPN cancel Playmakers but keeps a show like first take on...that doesn't make sense

I'm pretty sure there is not a woman in the world who watches worst tv than Mrs. ward


Prime99 said...

I liked Playmakers AND Tilt. The Matador was the most quotable villain since Teddy KGB.

T. Iceman said...

Come check out the DVR in my house and be proven wrong, Larry. Wheelz watches pure sewage at almost every turn.

Anonymous said...

Great topic Iceman, sorry so late today. I agree with a lot what you posted today...

Drama-The Shield, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, & Justified.
Comedy-The Simpsons, Arrested Development, Curb, & Seinfeld.

Honorable mention- The Wire, Sopranos, 24, The Practice, 6 Feet Under...
Shows that could be all time greats in the not too distant future...FARGO (Brilliant program), The Americans, Halt & Catch Fire.

Even w/ the 15 or so shows mentioned above I feel like I'm forgetting 1 or 2 that probably deserve recognition...

The internet is fine & dandy, but television will always be the greatest medium.


Anonymous said...

^^^Rome, Dexter (other than the last season this show was top 10, if not top 5), Homeland, Sons of Anarchy, Family Guy, 90210 (Damman), Deadwood, Parks & Rec, 30 Rock, Veep, O'Reilly Factor, BTN Live...That's a big mountain^^^


GMoney said...

If it isn't on a channel then it isn't TV. Sorry but NetFlix is not TV. It's something entirely different. Great probably but it isn't TV. DEAL WITH IT.