Thursday, June 12, 2014

It Ain't Nothin' But a Hoops Thang, Baby

Ain't nobody messing with my mothafuckin clique clique clique...
Please disregard this casting picture from an upcoming straight to DVD movie titled "The Longest Tard." Just kidding, savor it for the rest of your life.

There's a lot to talk about regarding the NBA so lets just throw out some bullet points featuring my ELITE TAKES!

- I don't think this deserves much mention....but did you read/hear that Donald Sterling letter? That old kook is one crazy fucker. I do like how he gives the NBA a taste of their own medicine; calling out their gender-discriminatory practices and now choosing to fight the good fight, just like the NBA finally decided to oust him after his pro-Ide rant, despite knowing he was a prejudiced piece of shit for several decades. Now do I think there is any chance that he wins any suit filed against the NBA? No. When he became an owner he signed a contract that allowed him to be booted for saying the shit he said. But do I think the NBA wants to rumble with him in court? FUCK NO! This guy will blow through his entire life savings while lawyering up for a showdown with the NBA. I think Adam Silver said it best Tuesday night, he wants to keep this fight between the Sterling family. Kind of awesome how the NBA manipulated Sterling's wife to do their dirty work.

- Derek Fisher goes to the Knick for 5 years, 25 mil. Why has this become a thing? Why the fuck are Jason Kidd and Derek Fisher employed right now as NBA head coaches? Prior to being hired neither of these guys had ever drawn up a play, established a rotation, managed locker room egos, or even went and got the head coach coffee as I imagine most assistant do. How did Jason Kidd turn out?
Yes, that is the best set play Kidd drew up all year. I don't anticipate Fisher being much better, at least not right now in his first gig.

- Rumors are swirling that LeBron and Melo want to play together, and they both have the option to become free agents after the season. I am a hater of all things Melo. I don't think he's a winner. I think he'd much rather put up 50 points in a loss than get 15 and 15 in a win. I think he cripples any good offensive scheme, as was shown by LINsanity and its immediate demise when Melo came back to the lineup after injury. Can Melo change what he has been for the past 11 years and become a team player? I seriously doubt it. I know he did during the Olympics, but you aren't getting Olympic Melo mindset for an entire season. I just don't see how Bron looks at that option as an improvement over his current one. And the rumor of Melo coming to South Beach and everybody taking paycuts is cute too. South Beach isn't a place for commies. 

NBA FINALS BULLETS!!!
- Holy shit did Kawhi Leonard go HAM last night. That is the very peak of potential that everybody sees in him. Outplaying the best player in the world is an impressive feat, especially when the best player goes for 22/5/7/5. I am very interested to see what happens tonight. If he can come out with that same aggression then I may be firmly on team Iceman regarding his status among the Top Player list. I think he falls back to the mean a bit, but is still more aggressive than the first two games in getting his on the offensive end.

- Tiago Splitter didn't start and played for only 16 minutes. The Spurs won by 19. That is EXACTLY how Splitter needs to be used. He is a steaming pile of shit out there, but we need him down low for stretches. Just a reminder that he makes $10 mil a year to be horrible at basketball.

- I love Boris Diaw's game more than any other NBA player ever. THAT is a guy who should be getting a head coaching gig whenever he decides to hang it up. He was giving a clinic on what high basketball IQ really looks like Tuesday night. The Spurs were +20 while he was on the court and he played more minutes than everybody but Leonard. The Spurs dominating wasn't a coincidence.

- The Spurs have 4 of the 5 best PG's in this series; Parker, Ginobili, Diaw, and Mills. LeBron is obvs in there somewhere.

- I love me some Tim Duncan, but even I am getting annoyed at him getting stripped in the paint and then flailing his hands like an infant at the ref. Bro, you're the best PF to ever play the game, go up fucking strong and hold onto the rock. The officials were ass both ways in Game 3.

- As for the Heat....FUCK EM. If the Spurs didn't choke away a big lead in Game 2 this would be 3-0. The Heat are winning one more game at the most. LeBron can't do everything.

- Prediction for Game 4: I can see the Heat getting this one, but I have more faith that Pop will be implementing Part 2 of his adjustments after Game 2. Look for Splitter to get even less minutes, Diaw to continue to be awesome, Kawhi to put up 18, and the Spurs to win by 5. SPURS IN 6!!!

- I saw this awhile back on Twitter and was going to make a post out of it, but figured we can just have some fun in the comments. Lets spice it up a little bit and pick 6 with $15.
PG: Isiah Thomas
SG: Jordan
SF: Durant
PF: Duncan
C: Dream
6th man: Pippen

Feel free to just copy/paste my team because you can only hope to tie it. Lets make some decisions in the comments regarding the Money Shot Invitational currently penciled in for 6/28 as well. Good day, sirs. 
END IT WITH AN ASS SHOT!

30 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

Stockton
Jordan
Bird
Duncan
Dream

Championship.

Anonymous said...

^ Ide

Mr. Ace said...

PICK 6 U FUCK!

Mr. Ace said...

Unless you're nominating yourself as 6th man. Every team needs a defensive stopper....

GMoney said...

Nice ending. Didn't see that coming...and neither will she. Count it.

I'm not picking 6. I will take Magic, Michael, Scottie, Duncan, Hakeem, and all the titles though. Why yes I was an avid fan of the 90's NBA!

This whole Melo to the Heat rumor is so stupid. We all know that the only thing holding back the Heat is a black hole on offense and negative defensive player, right? Have the Heat ever had problems scoring? Hell no. They just need to convince their big three to stay the course and sign better role players than Mike Beasley and his drug dealers.

Miami losing two straight home games? I can't see it. Although you can see how absolutely focused the Spurs are.

T. Iceman said...

"If the Spurs didn't choke away a big lead in Game 2 this would be 3-0"

If Lebron didn't cramp in game 1 the Spurs would have been down 0-2 going into game 3. I can't believe the Heat played with zero intensity Tuesday. Something tells me Lebron is going to have one of his classic 50 point monsters tonight.

I could come here and pound my chest about Leonard. But I won't do that. Because it was only one game.

The only reason you didn't notice Melo being a ball hog shit heel during the Olympics is because he was surrounded by the best of the best on his own team. Melo's faults are easy to hide when you have a team loaded with talent. I agree with everything you said about Carmelo Anthony. As this guy's career progresses I'm more and more glad the Pistons didn't draft him.

T. Iceman said...

Frazier
Jordan
Lebron
Duncan
Hakeem
Laimbeer

Bill can't be more than zero dollars.

T. Iceman said...

Almost forgot. I'm suing you for copyright infringement for that photo. Unauthorized use.

Prime99 said...

MJ
Magic
Shaq
Scottie
Garnett
D-Wade as 6th man

Spurs looked damn good but the Heat can definitely turn the tide back with a good performance. These two teams are much better than the rest of the league, but tough matchups for each other.

Grumpy said...

Iceman plays barefoot. ELITE!

Russell
Hagan
Robertson
Cousy
Sam Jones
K.C. Jones

Anonymous said...

Dream
Duncan
Jordan
LBJ
Stockton
Pipped

Gleenwood park ball without Scoop and boom boom Zamora...weak

Larry

GMoney said...

Mikan
Mikan
Mikan
Mikan
Mikan
Rambis

BREAKING NEWS: Bet on the Heat tonight. Joey Crawford has been assigned to work game 4.

Walt Behrman said...

Mike Limbird
Tim Reiser
Ross Durham
Joe Good
Louis Green

No bench players because I don't need them.

Prime99 said...

Ice, good move spreading the white guys out. Looks more diverse that way.

GMoney said...

Wow...Walt wins the day and I'm so happy that he is commenting here now. That team defines ELITE. Except for Limbird...fuck him. He's a nerd. Give me a Todd Wesche at point.

FOOD POST TOMORROW. FOOD POST TOMORROW. FOOD POST TOMORROW.

Anonymous said...

Limbird had more GRIT than Wesche.

Through my new job I was able to obtain Urban's and Thad's cell phone numbers in case Cake's wants to send nudes to them.

LOL Verlander getting rocked again.

My pounding beers on N Perry Street for Ribfest the night before could severely impact my ability to make the Money Shot Open. Unless there are 3 or 7 committed in which my coming would make even foursomes, I will have to decline.

-Damman

Mr. Ace said...

I don't know about the rest of you, but I will take The Dream over any Center in the NBA ever. Best overall Center in the game.

Zamora's run Glenwood. I don't think Scoop is in town anymore though.

Ice, that photo is not yours so you have no rights to it. #LawyerUp

Anonymous said...

Dammans alcoholism affects many of his manly duties like rib fest and drafts. Boo this man.

Ide

GMoney said...

Ide, you are in no possession to boo anyone for being flaky. Hope this comment didn't give you the sniffles.

Having Urb and Thad's cell numbers is less ELITE than me having Donyell Marshall's!

Dude bros, if 6/28 isn't going to work due to Nap RibFest and Iceman's going to the Swamp Party, then we may need to re-think this.

GMoney said...

position, not possession...my computer must be holding drugs

T. Iceman said...

I don't have a job. So I'm pretty open if you reschedule The MoneyShot golf outing. July 18th is the official move date. I suck balls in golf but I will play for the humor of it all.

Anonymous said...

I make up with flakiness by buying ribs. Also, making a $400 plus trip from NY is a tough pill to swallow for the likes of you.

Fun fact: when buying tickets online, it is cheaper for me to give my brother in NC my credit info to buy tix. Since big brother is always watching, NYC residents pay more for airfare by having their IPs tracked. Fucking Obama.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

Ya I don't think 6/28 is gonna work. I am also down for a Sunday golf outing and maybe a lil drinking session the Saturday night before. Really bring out our A game. I have a feeling Mini Money is gonna ruin this if we go later into July.

Mr. Ace said...

And I will be on vacation the first 2 weekends of July.

Cakes said...

Basketball post = NOT Aces.

Awesome! Let's reschedule that fucker.

GMoney said...

Money Boo Boo will be ruining a lot of things for Big Money. OK then, I am going to try and ump on the 28ffffff and we will scrap the current plan.

Anonymous said...

When is future Mrs. Lil Poopson due anyways, G$?

Ide

Anonymous said...

It looks like the black population has at least tripled in Napoleon over the past 12-15 years

GMoney said...

6 more weeks...but you can never trust a woman to be on time no offense