|Looks like I found the World's Worst Wet T-Shirt Contest|
Got it. I can’t even remember the last time that we even mentioned college football around here. Well, that needs to change. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Oh great, another anti-Ohio post” or “He’s not going to write about how incredible EMU’s new all-gray field is, is he?” Nope, but let’s stay in that general geographic area and talk about MICHIGAN.
OK, you’d have to be a real homer to say that the Brady Hoke Era has been a riveting success. Sure, he’s better than Rich Rod but so is everyone. He’s an easy guy to like though due to his bulbous size and comically high-pitched voice. Even the dumbest Fuckeye fan has to admit that he is pretty good for the rivalry. The problem is that The Hokester is at a crossroads in 2014. He is under contract through the end of next season which means that that seat is scorching ass hot right now. Why? Because, at this point, you either fire the guy or extend him. Doing nothing is a killer on the recruiting trail and does nothing to help the program. A directionless program is a dead program. Having a lame duck is STUPID.
Be honest with yourself, Michigan Men, this Fall doesn’t look like it is going to be all that much different than the last few years. Hoke was brought in to re-establish the pro-style offense which he hasn’t done at all. The defense will still probably suck. I’m sure that there will be rapes and horrible QB play. Winning the Big Ten isn’t realistic. I think that the only way that he keeps his job is if he beats Michigan State or Ohio. Just win one of those while going 9-3 or so and that should be enough for an extension. Fail to beat either of your rivals again and it’s resume time for The Hokester (written in BBQ sauce).
For the purpose of today’s post, let’s assume that Brady Hoke is fired after this season. It isn’t much of a stretch to assume that anyway but I would love to hear the logic and reasoning from some who think he is safe/will return. The question is: Who does Michigan target as their next head coach? Do they go after the vaunted MICHIGAN MAN again? Do they beg a BRAH? How many times will someone hilariously mention Jon Gruden? Could you possibly make a play for Racist Gruden?
You know where I’m going with this. Oh yeah, if you can’t get the BRAH, then go get his non-Union black equivalent…David Shaw! Can you imagine the Big Ten getting a big steaming dose of STANFORD FOOTBALL? It nearly makes one’s dick hard. Perhaps this time, a guy with a pro-style offense will actually RUN that offense. Shaw is my pick for next Michigan coach even though it is probably unrealistic.
So that is the debate today…who will be Michigan’s football coach in 2015? I will try to show up at some point but no promises. DEAL WITH IT.