|OMG somebody get me a GMoney lid.|
"KD got to be a free agent at some point."--LeBron James
Oh, fuck you, Princess. Fuck you straight to Hell. This is in response to the local Oklahoma rag calling Durant "Mr. Unreliable" after he tanked that free throw in game 5 to lose. And it was completely fair by the way. But apparently, to the bald king at least, everyone owes superstars everything and can never criticize them ever. If so, fuck you I'm out. First of all, why is anyone asking LeBron's opinion on Durant's free throw struggles anyway? Who asked this question? Second, people are going to take shots at you when you fail (LeBron should know this from experience dude [/eats 30 sack lunches]) and when this happens, you don't threaten the fans that you are going to walk if they aren't nice to you. By the way, Bron Bron, no one in Cleveland said anything bad about you for 26 years and look where it got them. Ringless despite promises made. Just sayin', bruh. Maybe Durant will leave OKC when his contract is up and he goes home to DC or to LA or to NY. I don't know where but I do know that it won't be because The Oklahoman called him out for missing clutch free throws in 2014. Fuck off, son-of-whore. And stop asking for this guy's opinion on EVERYTHING.
V. Stiviano is even more gross than I expected - I'm not sure if you saw the clips from her interview with Barbara Walters (confirming that she is only in this for her 15 minutes) but she referred to herself as Sterling's "Silly Bunny". Gross. So either they had weirdo role playing sessions where Sterling was Elmer Fudd and she was Bugs (LOL at the idea of a big racist chasing around a half black with a shotgun) or they liked to bump uglies in giant bowls of Trix. Both options are awful. V. Stiviano is one of the most disgusting gold diggers of all time. I'm just a Dollar Menu-aire and even I wouldn't hit that.
Damian Lillard - You have earned the right to do the same big balls dance popularized by well known Martian, Sam Cassell.
The Pacers move on! - And I'm glad. This team is too dysfunctional for me to not want to watch them anymore. On the drive back to Nap on Saturday, I picked up the Pacers radio network somehow and it was adorbs how their radio guys kept trying to brush off how shitty Indy is. The play by play guy called Lance Stephenson "Sir Lance-A-Lot" which nearly made me drive off the road due to LULZ overdose. I actually think that their series with the Wiz could be a lot of fun. Evan Turner is still a clubhouse cancer. And I really enjoy constant camera shots of Larry Bird being pissed off. Those are the gifts that keep on giving.
Speaking of The Legend (sort of) - I was re-watching Bad Boys at the gym on Saturday morning and it was the part after Detroit had clinched their second title and Laimbeer was wearing a black fedora (like the villain that he always wanted to be!) and holding The O'Brien Trophy. This is what happened if you forgot...
(camera pans to Bill spooning the trophy and he is not sure what to do)
(Laimbeer does not know what to say next so he awkwardly gives the trophy a kiss while running through his rolodex of relevant pop culture phrases from that time period)
BL: CANT TOUCH THIS!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL He dumped an MC Hammer lyric into his celebration! WHAT A TOOL! What I'm trying to say here is that I'm dying for Birdman Anderson to be in the same scenario and drop "BRO (kiss) BLURRED LINES"! Laimbeer sucks for life.
The Grizzlies got fucked - I don't care if it was right. You can't suspend big Z-Bo for game 7. You just can't. OKC sucks. Any team that still gives decent burn to Derek fucking Fisher is a joke. Also, Scott Brooks is a loser.
Sterling's Boyzzzz move on! - It's good to see the Clips rally around their class act owner to advance. Christ, how bad are the Warriors that they couldn't even win a series with THAT MUCH of a distraction? Mark Jackson should get nice and fired this week which will give him plenty of time to make up new words before he goes back to working for ESPN. LEMPH! STREMPH! Never forget that he is the originator. By the way, this marks Chris Paul's third playoff series win in his career. THREE. Dude is pretty OVERRATED IMO. Clippers/Thunder...that should be a real HOOT.
So Brooklyn won for Ide and his skinny jeans - If you're one of those people who think that the NBA is fixed then you already knew how this one was ending. Even when Toronto went up 3-2, you knew damn well that the NBA would never allow the Raptors to win this. And then you saw Joey Crawford on the call for game 7 and it was quite OBVZ how this one was going down. How does that shithead keep getting big games? I'd rather see a crew of Donaghy, Ted Valentine, and Ed Hightower out there. I can't wait to hear all of those idiots saying "Brooklyn went 4-0 against the Heat this year!" and then Miami wins in 5 or maybe 6 at the most.
The Spurs stopped fucking around - You know what, the combined ELITEness of 5 game sevens ended up not being that great as 3 of those games were dog shit and we really didn't get any upsets. Oh well. At least DeJuan Blair can still be the Mexican equivalent of John "Goat Boy" Blair AKA Henry County Hall of Famer.
So what do we have left? IND/WAS (I dig), BKN/MIA (yawn), SA/POR (nice), and OKC/LAC (boo-yah!). I just wish that they would start these west coast games before 4 am. Look, jerks, I'm old and tired. I can't stay awake long enough to watch the Blazers and Clippers both pull relatively big upsets. And I think that you would be a damn fool to pick against a Miami/Washington conference final as well. Either way, this has been wildly enjoyable so far and it would be great if they could continue this.