Thursday, May 22, 2014

NBA Individual Player Playoff OVERRankings!!!

Happy Thursday! Now Strap In!
I feel like I need to officially address this because it is just so fucking dumb. The artist formerly known as Iceman has been on this crusade of Stephen A Smiff shouting that the Spurs are OVERRATED. To me, this seems like the dumbest thing he has ever said in the history of this site...and that's a really dumb fucking list to be atop of. Lets take a look at some of the exchanges we have had over this matter.

 Well that escalated quickly. Glad G Money weighed in, though.

And then this little exchange happened as Game 1 was tipping off:


And we saw in the comments this week that he is bad at math and logic, and it has only been 6 years since the Spurs last title. You see kids, don't be a fucktard. You can be an ass hole, you can be a troll, but don't ever find yourself in that middle ground of fucktardedness. It's a bad look. Even if it looks great on Iceman.

In an effort to properly RATE the teams remaining in the playoffs, I think ranking the Top 20 players left in these playoffs should give us a pretty good idea of who should be winning the title this year, and who is OVERRATED. Leggo.

1. Lebron James. There isn't an argument here. He's the best basketball player on the planet.
2. Kevin Durant. Who ever thought a black dude named Kevin would be an ELITE basketball player? But he's damn near 7 foot and silky smooth. No argument here either.
3. Russell Westbrook. These rankings are based purely off talent. I don't ever want to see him in a Spurs jersey because I hate the way he plays PG, but his talent is undeniable. Just a horrible fit with Durant. He's also a really dirty player who cries constantly.
4. Paul George. 22 ppg, 8 boards, 4 assists and shooting 42% from 3? Without him they get swept by Atlanta. I don't know if he's a #SUPERSTAR yet, but he's damn close. And if he doesn't get concussed I think the Heat would be down 2-0.
5. Tony Parker. He has been shredding anybody who dared to try and guard him. I've always liked Tony Parker, but I've never loved him because I don't like having a PG that can't shoot 3's. Tony Parker is obviously the exception.
6. Dwayne Wade. I know old man Wade can't do what he used to. I know he's lost the majority of his explosion. But he's still one of the best players left in the playoffs. He still gets his on a nightly basis, just playing the sidekick role now.
7. Tim Duncan. Mr. Fundamental is still getting it done. With Ibaka out his numbers should look really good beating the Thunder in 5.
8. David West. With Roy Hibbert being invisible in the postseason(minus Game 1...and Game 2) West has been carrying the load down low for the Pacers. 15-6-4 isn't bad from what is supposed to be your 3rd best player.
9. Kawhi Leonard. (Holy shit did the Spurs rob the Pacers to get his guy) I get serious boner rage when I see Kawhi and his corn rows. 1) because you only see corn rows in the hood, and 2) because he is the fucking bees knees. Pop is grooming him to be a stud and it looks like he is the future of the Spurs.
10. Serge Ibaka. OBVS he is out for the rest of the playoffs, but he is the glue for OKC. Without him in the middle OKC doesn't have a chance.
11.Chris Bosh. Ol' soft ass raptor looking ass. Bosh would be awesome in Beilein's system. Unfortunately, that doesn't do shit for him in these playoffs.
12. Roy Hibbert. Every time he plays the Heat he shows up and dominates. Which I think is awesome because that means the Spurs will destroy them in the Finals. He's a giant emotional tampon, though.
13. Manu Ginobili. Is Ginobili really the 13th best player left? Maybe I just turn the channel when he is doing awful and then miss his hot streaks, because that is all he is good for at this point. There is nothing consistent about his game. He is just as likely to get a turnover as he is an assist. I love the guy, and Pop does too, but having him on the floor gives me a panic attack.
14. Lance Stephenson. Larry Bird's favorite player and beatdown king of Evan "The Villain" Turner. What's not to like? Other than everything. But it's good to have some nasty in the increasingly soft NBA.
15. George Hill.  I've always like Hill. He plays hard, finds his role on the team, and hit several big shots for the Spurs. But he's not a good point guard. He's like a really really really poor mans Russell Westbrook. I think that makes sense.
16. Reggie Jackson. Not Mr. October. But I really like Jackson's game, especially with a guy like Durant next to him. He knows his role and he shuts his mouth. He isn't going to take 30 shots. He's going to distribute and get his within the offense. He's the reason the Thunder should trade Westbrook tomorrow.
17. Tiago Splitter. This clown had so much hype, but he's just a big goon. But he's a big goon playing for Pop.
18. Boris Diaw. Dude plays every position and does it pretty well. He's also a black man named Boris.
19. Danny Green. Maybe sitting here watching Game 2 is influencing me a bit here, but this spot really comes down to this; would you rather have Ray Allen or Danny Green? It's Danny Green. And he also plays D.
Mr. Irrelevant:  Ray Allen. This is one of those lifetime achievement nods. If he's only shooting 33% from 3 then he is basically worthless. But he can still hit the big shot...and Jesus Shuttlesworth.
(I think Patty Mills is the next best player. He brings immediate production off the bench and plays like he's a starter.)

Of the best 20 players still playing in the playoffs, I think the Spurs have 7/8 of them. The Spurs should win the title this year and I think they will. I don't think the Heat have been that impressive. Obviously Lebron is the best, but Pop is so ready to see them again. And if somehow the Spurs get the Pacers they will sweep them. Book that shit.

So lets all tell Iceman, or whoever, HOW INCREDIBLY FUCKING STUPID it is to call the Spurs overrated. Maybe he doesn't know what it means. That's really the only explanation.

Scott Brooks is bad at coaching basketball. Like, Mike Brown bad. Like, Reggie Miller commentating bad. Just felt like that needed to be said.

47 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you subtract the comments that will be made by Ape and Iceman today....I predict a record low number of comments. I do respect the effort it took to make that long post.

I think the Heat will beat the Spurs...again.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

If you can't argue about player rankings and the awfulness of Scott Brooks, then what can you argue about?

T. Iceman said...

Ugh. Christ, Ape. Do we really need to beat this dead horse again? You didn't need to post the conversation because anyone who has read any of the comments this week knows the conversation that's been happening along with the specifics. All you did here was pull an ESPN and found a new way to present old information that everyone is tired talking about. So I'm not playing your little game today since this conversation is useless until the Spurs find another way to not win another title.

T. Iceman said...

As far as these rankings go...if you're ranking complete playoff performance that encompasses every round to date, then Roy Hibbert does not belong on this list. He was so bad in the first two rounds and was the reason the Pacers almost ate shit in round one.

But if you're ranking current players left by what they're doing in the current series' they are playing in then...I don't know. Sure? But Splitter should be higher on the list. He's one of the big reasons the Spurs are up 2-0. Mainly because it forces Scott Brooks to play Kendrick Perkins more than zero minutes.

I would also put Parker at either 2 or 3. Even though the entire world knows his game (get to the hole and shoot a seemingly impossible to block layup) no NBA coach seems to know how to stop it. Apparently no one has passed along the memo that if you make tony Parker a jump shooter, you beat the Spurs.

GMoney said...

I respect Ape's effort. It can't be easy to get all of Iceman's stupidity into one nice post.

I feel like George Hill is a garbage player and the FACT that the Pacers don't have a decent PG is why they will never beat LeBron in the playoffs.

I would have put Evan Turner as Mr. Irrelevant because he is CLEARLY a locker room cancer.

GMoney said...

I just love Iceman's "win the title or YOU ARE SHIT" argument. No one operates in shades of gray less than ol' Lava Slut!

T. Iceman said...

Just operating off of the standard you set of Eli > Peyton, G$.

And I didn't say the Spurs were shit but thanks for trying to put words in my mouf.

Jeff said...

To Iceman's credit his "win a title or YOU ARE SHIT" argument does apply to a team that has won 20% of last whatever championships. Similar to you with the Yanks or myself with the Red Sox. Only thing that matters is rings. If your team has won multiple recent championships, that is the gold standard.

Mr. Ace said...

Ice, I have no interest in rehashing this argument either. I just wanted to be clear how stupid your opinion is on this matter. And it created a nice lead in to my OVERRATED rankings.

As far as the rankings. I tried to focus mostly on playoffs. The same reason you think Splitter should be higher is the same reason I have Hibbert higher than you would: matchups. Hibbert has had tough matchups for the first two rounds and his performances were embarrassing. But for the rest of the playoffs he shouldn't have those same difficulties. And I might be a bit jaded over Splitter because I heard about this guy for 2 years while he was overseas, and then he shows up and does dick.

TP might deserve to be ranked higher. But Pop puts him in the perfect offense every year. And those guys ahead of him are studs.

GMoney said...

I agree with you, Jeffrey, and one day a Tigers fan might see things that way too (doubtful...too stooooopid). But falling short doesn't make you OVERRATED. It just means that you aren't good enough that year. Like, say the Yankees don't win it all this season (I know, big reach there), when no one outside of me picks them to win it all, that does not make them OVERRATED.

A lot of people have to have faith in you in order to become OVERRATED. Some people around here don't get that and it is why we have the same beatdowns by me every single day around here.

TP might deserve to be ranked higher

I agree that Terrelle Pryor should have made the list.

T. Iceman said...

"A lot of people have to have faith in you in order to become OVERRATED"

So the Spurs.......aren't considered a title contender every year??

Spurs are considered a title contender every year by nearly every NBA talking head and have bricked 6 straight years.

T. Iceman said...

As much as I hate the Spurs, Leonard is becoming one of my favorite players. That guy could be a top 10 player by the start of next season. Definitely not OVERRATED.

Prime99 said...

Ugh.

Grumpy said...

A day we'll never get back.

Mr. Ace said...

"Spurs are considered a title contender every year by nearly every NBA talking head"

And they have been contenders every year. Overrated is being a Top 5 team and not making the playoffs. Or consistently being ranked high and then getting destroyed in the postseason every year. You don't lose in Game 7 of the Finals and get labeled overrated. That's all.

I don't think George Hill is garbage. I just think he is average PG on a team with a star player that dominates the ball.

I really like Patty Mills. Obviously he doesn't get much run with Parker out there, but he balls every time he gets his chance.

So we are all in agreement that Scott Brooks is terrible, right? The Thunder should package Brooks and Westbrook and get the 1st pick from the Cavs.

Jeff said...

Poor Prime. Jeff Carter loves shitting on errbody. That Kings team is fucking good and it sucks to see assholes be successful.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused, is there someone besides iceman thst thinks the spurs are overrated because I think you dedicated a whole post to iceman. Pretty good trolling by iceman then.

Tony Parker should be three maybe even two on your rankings.

Spurs and heat both is six and heat winning the finals in seven.

Larry

Anonymous said...

Prime,

What about this Kevin love trade talk to the bulls

Would you get rid of Taj and Thibs for love?

Larry

GMoney said...

Who would have homecourt between the Spurs and Heat? Got to be the Spurs, right? FYI, it's going to be the Spurs and Heat.

Lance Stephenson might be the least likeable player ever that has never needed a wheelchair for a non-leg injury (Hi Paul and Dwyane!).

Anonymous said...

Larry....exactly. Very good trolling and it has definitely angered Ape enough that he made an entire post about it.

Grumps...well said.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Lawrence, I know a certain team that would blow that proposal out of the water. Try harder. But that talk is for another day.

GMoney said...

Is it trolling to be that openly stupid though? I feel as though Iceman is way too dumb to troll. I mean, he can get it going stronk with tard Fuckeye fans like it's going out of style, but I'm not sure here.

This feels more along the line of "ELITE Rich Gannon LOLZ" than anything.

Anonymous said...

That would not be the trade offer. They would trade Thibs to another team (lakers) for their first round pick then trade taj and probably three first round picks to the Wolves for love. That will hurt their white/black ratio so Jeff might not be a fan anymore.

If you are hinting ts the Cavs then go ahead and make that trade because he'll walk once his contract is up.

Larry

T. Iceman said...

Larry gets it.

"Lance Stephenson might be the least likeable player ever that has never needed a wheelchair for a non-leg injury (Hi Paul and Dwyane!)."

G$ gets it too.

And I really wish Danny Green would vanish back into obscurity where he belongs. Fuckin hate that guy so hard.

GMoney said...

Why would the Bulls trade Thibs? That seems like something that the Knicks would do. Hey! I've got one of the best coaches in the league so let's run him out of town for an unknown!

If your goal is to win a title with a big three of Melo/Rose/Noah then having some turd like Vinny Del Negro part 2 coaching them seems fucking stupid.

We will talk about the Cavs and their incredible luck/unlimited options at a later date. Got to hire a good coach (for once) first though.

GMoney said...

By the way, LOL at the idea of the Lakers trading their lottery pick for a coach. WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Anonymous said...

Thibs and management do not see eye to eye and you saw how that played out in golden state with Mark Jackson. I did not say I agree with it, or think it will happen. These are few of the rumors going around. I love Thibs but his coaching style is no one tat last long in one place.

Lolz at the Cavs hiring a good coach. WILL NEVER HAPPEN

Larry

Prime99 said...

I think the haul for Love will drop as this drags on. No need to trade Thibs. I'd rather have Thibs than Love anyway. Kobe's knees say thank you for not trading Thibs.

The Blackhawks got their butthole caved in. No fun, but if I've learned anything, it's that it's one game. The Kings got trucked by the Sharks in multiple games this playoffs. Look how that worked out.

Mr. Ace said...

If Iceman was trolling then I wouldn't even mention it. But he is dead serious. And I haven't talked about the greatness of Pop and the Spurs since I started back up at this fine blog. So suck it.

Parker at 2 or 3? I dunno. I can see 4. And I can see shuffling George/Westbrook/Parker, but Durant is #2 no matter what.

I have seen a lot of Bulls fans talking about Melo or Love. I would take Love all day, but I dunno about giving up all those picks. You need depf.

I would love to have Lance Stephenson on the Spurs. But I can totes see why everybody hates him.

And the Spurs are winning in 5, just as a stated before the series.

Jeff said...

If the Spurs win in 4, one might say Ace UNDERRATED them!

GMoney said...

If you capitalize underrated one more time, you're going to get caned. That's not how we do things around here.

Well, if we're spouting off a bunch of stupid ass coaching rumors, I've heard that the Cavs and Tom Izzo are a DONE DEAL...AGAIN! NOT! What about Phil Jackson! ROB CHUDZINSKI! JOHNNY FOOTBALL CAN COACH THE CAVS!

Anonymous said...

I would take love over melo too. I debate whether I want melo over Taj/butler/dunleavy. I was never high on melo. He looks more like mcgrady every year.

I think Parker over durant is a real debate in the playoffs. Parker over Westbrook/George is not.

Larry

Prime99 said...

I do not want Melo. Dude's a pussy.

Anonymous said...

The only thing that has me okay with getting melo is that Thibs gets the max from all his players but I still would not get overjoyed if they signed melo

Larry

GMoney said...

It would be really interesting to see if Thibs could get Melo to play any defense at all.

Carmelo has his warts but the NBA has proven that a dollar is worth more than two 40-50 cent players (Taj and Butler) and a quarter (Dunleavy).

I'm such a hug fan of "I think that I'm a 3 point threat" Chris Bosh. I mean, I'm one of those studs that thinks that Bosh is an average player so now that he is adding a terrible shot to his arsenal only makes him even more LULZ. The FACT that he sometimes makes those shots and thus shoots more is great.

I forget if Birdman Andersen made the top 20 but he should be in there. When you have a hardcore drug suspension AND kiddie porn allegations on your resume...U ELITE BRAH!

Anonymous said...

But is Carmelo a dollar player or 75-90 cent player? That is why it's a debate.

Larry

Mr. Ace said...

Melo is also a ball killer. He ain't passing that shit. I can't see him and Rose sharing the ball effectively.

Just listened to the CBUS radio folks call the Spurs the best run professional franchise in the past 2-3 decades. Glad they get it. And OVERRATED was never mentioned.

The Pop factor knocks the Spurs players down a bit from my perspective. Maybe that's not fair to them. But I'm not looking at performance necessarily, more so looking at value. Parker is obviously ELITE, but Pop is the ELITIST when it comes to coaching.

I bet Birdman and Lance Stephenson throw some wild parties together.

Anonymous said...

Rose has to be healthy for tha to matter and never use Cbus radio to prove a point.

Larry

Anonymous said...

ELITE gif by the way. I think that is being overlooked

Larry

Mr. Ace said...

Very rarely do I agree with the Columbus radio folks, especially during the lunch hours, but even they can't get this wrong.

Bouncing boobs are ELITE, something we can all agree on.

GMoney said...

In FACT, they called the Spurs the most underrated team in all of sports!

Melo is a dollar. Without question. Arguably the best pure scorer in the league is a dollar bill, ya'll.

GMoney said...

Oh man, I can't wait to tackle this Mark Cuban controversy tomorrow. Work on your HOT TAEK now!!!

T. Iceman said...

Man. Ape sure is doing his best digging his own grave. At this point, with the amount of mouth poop you've been spewing, if the Spurs don't win it all you won't be allowed to have any TAEKS.

GMoney said...

If we still allow CAEKS TAEKS then Ape should be fine.

Mr. Ace said...

Because I think the Spurs should win this year? Or that Pop is the best coach in the biz? I felt the same way last year, but not as strongly. If we don't win I will obvs be disappointed. And I will take my comeuppance like a man from all you fans of terrible teams, I guess. But we are winning this shit. No worries.

T. Iceman said...

"But we are winning this shit. No worries."

Noted.

Mr. Ace said...

Please do.