Thursday, May 01, 2014

I'm a Fan, I'm 30: CBJ Edition

Princess Hockey Tits
Lets just jump right into it. The Columbus Blue Jackets have stolen a little piece of my sporting heart, making me a fan for life...or at least I think. I have never ever been a hockey fan. I always thought people who liked hockey were Canadians. The TV product sucks. And even if you find the shitty TV product, it is on the Al Jazeera Sports Network. And yet here I stand, I newly converted hockey fan who is ready to #CarryIt for all eternity. How did this happen?

For every other team that I am a fan of, I became a fan when I was 7 years old at the oldest. And I became a fan because I latched onto a favorite player and just stuck with the team; Randall Cunningham, David Robinson and Frank Thomas. I don't really remember why I picked those players/teams, so I've never really known what to look for when becoming a fan.

The more I think about it, this is an opportunity that I should truly cherish. How many 28 year old BRAHs have opportunity to become fans on their own terms? Outside of college/grad school, you are most likely born into your rooting interests for the rest of your life, and if not then you made a decision like I did at 7 years old based off of...nothing. This is serious shit.

And that's what we will be talking about today; How do you get new fans? For hockey, especially in the non-traditional markets, this is YUGE. This is how the CBJ stole my heart.

No bullshit. Every time that I would catch a player, coach or the GM on the radio or in an interview they seemed like straight shooters. No making excuses. No dodging questions. No dodging blame. Just telling the fans how it is and being honest. That plays really well to potential fans, especially in the Midwest. I can get behind an organization that isn't going to blow smoke up my ass to gain my fanhood. Give it to me real, I'm a big boy.

Young Studs. If I'm going to become a new fan, I want the players that brought me to fanhood to be around awhile. From what I understand, the Blue Jackets roster won't be changing much at all going into next year, and the names that I am most familiar with will definitely be around. I don't want my team to be in a Brooklyn Nets type situation because those fuckers are done after this year. You're going to have to win me over all over again with a new group of players. I want my fanhood to grow with the players that originally brought me to the team. Obviously turnover will happen, but those key players need to be there next year.

Available Fans. Columbus has one legitimate sports team, the Ohio Buckeyes. Nobody can debate this. That means this city has available fans, because nobody really gives a fuck about the Clippers or Crew and there are still hundreds of thousands of people in the city that aren't Fuckeyes. Columbus will support a winner, or even a competitor, as was shown this year. I don't think there are many other markets in the US that are more ready for professional sports teams than Columbus.

Star Player. Goalie Bob was the best goalie in the NHL last year, and one of them this year. He IS the Columbus Blue Jackets. Like, without him the CBJ win 15 games. And, as long as he doesn't get lured away to Great Mother Russia, he should continue to be the guy for the Blue Jackets. But every team that is trying to bring in new fans needs to have that one guy who everybody recognizes. You aren't filling up the stadium without that guy.

Fucking Awesome Atmosphere. I said before that Game 4 of the CBJ/Pens series was the 3rd best sporting event I have ever attended in my life, only beaten out by May The Forcier Be With You beating ND and Toledo upsetting Larry Fitz and the Pitt Panthers. But as far as atmosphere, I would give NWA a close second to The Big House that night...which is understandable considering The Big House had more than 5 times as many people in attendance. Everybody in NWA that night was definitely CARRYING THE FLAG to the fullest. You can't be a part of that atmosphere and not become a fan.


I was going into the Game 4 experience looking for a reason to become a serious fan and the Blue Jackets absolutely delivered. Obvs it feels good to root for the hometown team, but I can't imagine buying into any other team than the Blue Jackets right now. So CARRY IT or suck a dick.

(SPURS 3-2 FUCKERS)

31 comments:

Mr. Ace said...

Must have hit a real home run today.

GMoney said...

I think that everyone is still trying to figure out how you can't you see why you gravitated to The Big Butthurt, The Rear Admiral, and Randy Cunts. Bro, you love big chocolate dicks.

I think that the team did a lot of goodwill among the casuals this year that should continue into next year. You're right, this town will definitely support you...but you can't backslide. The CBJ know that they have to keep moving forward. This year was way different than 2009.

Yes, that means that they will need to win a playoff series next year. The feel-good/moral victories are over.

Speaking of puck, watching Rick Nash (terrible) and Steve Mason (surprisingly solid) battle it out in a game 7 last night was the worst. LOL Sharks. LOL Avs.

BOS over MTL, PIT over NYR, CHI over COL, LA over ANA...which would lead to some ELITE conference finals matchups.

GMoney said...

Also, Rob Ford was taped smoking crack again. Love you, Rob!

Anonymous said...

Hockey is indeed ELITE and cheering for CBJ is preferred. Cheering for the home team is the preferred method of cheering for pro team. Unfortunately, for Ohio that gives you mounds of crippling depression. So, for CBJ to be doing it the right way and building a team that we all love and that continues to grow and get better, they are one of the brighter spots in our sports lives. You have to think G$ would rather carry it than remember that he cheers for a faggot.

Colleges are a different breed because you can just pay to go to them. I have long stated that paying 50 large to any organization gives you full right to cheer for them. If I pay 10 grand to the Yankees, you best buhleeve I'm cheering for them.

Ide

Jeff said...

You mean CHI ova MIN, but whatevs. Great finals matches indeed.

The Jackets wagon is just getting going and there is a ton of room. People will support a winner and as G$ said, they need to keep winning and be a mainstay in the playoffs. Especially in a league where 16 out of 30 teams make the playoffs.

They are the youngest team in the league with a very bright future, and the right men for the job in the front office, but if they fall flat on their faces next year they will lose all the Fringe flag carriers.

Linked In sent me an email yesterday to wish Seal a happy birthday.

Happy (belated) Birthday, Seal!

Mr. Ace said...

Yeah I decided to keep college out of this because it didn't really fit. But most people become college fans well before they attend college.

I wasn't in Columbus in 09. That's probably why it feels different.

And I won't watch another playoff hockey game this year. Hockey is probably the only sport that I can't sit and watch without a rooting interest. Maybe that's because I didn't grow up a fan, or play the sport growing up or maybe it's the chappy TV product, but I just can't do it.

GMoney said...

I disagree with it being a crappy TV product but then again I sort of love the sport now. Constant action seems fine to me but it can get a little frustrating for the noobs to not be able to follow the puck as well as some of the veteran watchers.

You should at least watch The Cup Finals simply for Doc Emrick's verbal ELITEness. TOTES a Miami Man.

Minnesota scored one goal in two games vs. us this year so them winning a series (after fucking us over last year) means that I don't care about them and they suck balls.

I think another reason why people crushed on the CBJ this year is simply how they play. They bring the lunch pail. Blue collar grinders IMO. Also: John Davidson just looks like a guy that you should you respect with that ELITE 'stache of his.

Anonymous said...

You've said that a couple times now. The TV product is great. I will digress that a blowout and/or meaningless game is boring and I usually turn away. But, the East this year was a great watch. Almost every game mattered and if it wasn't a blow out, then you could take nothing for granted.

Hell the playoffs this year were nuts with all the 3-1 comebacks. Every trip down the ice was exhilarating.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Playoff hockey and HOU/POR was some great TV last night. The Sharks make me LOLZ.

If someone put trick candles on Slow Seal's birthday cake, he'd be blowing on them for hours and hours....and then he'd smash the cake in anger and leave the party. LOLZ.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

When I say the TV product sucks, it is in comparison to live. Football games are great to go to, but watching them on TV is pretty damn fantastic as well. I also feel like so much is going on in hockey away from the puck and TV doesn't always capture that. These are just my noob observations though.

Happy birfday to Seal. May he get endless Anthony Davis dick.

GMoney said...

I see. Yes, the live hockey product is far superior to the TV product probably because Jeff Rimer is annoying and always talks about "saucer passes". And I would much rather watch football on TV over dealing with the live experience. Too many people which is why I re-upped my RedHawks season tickets last week! Don't have to worry about that at Yager.

Randall Stevens said...

Even though Seal appears to be gone forever, Drew continues to jab away. Gotta at least respect the kid's dedication.

I gave hockey an honest effort. Same with baseball. It'll probably never happen. There's just some things that a person will never like no matter how many times they try it. Like olives.

Anonymous said...

I disagree. I never liked olives...but, now I like Kalmatta olives.

--Drew

Jeff said...

RS,

If hockey is like olives to you, then attending a playoff hockey game at NWA would be like taking an olive and wrapping it in a pound of bacon and deep frying that shit. In other words, Fanfuckintastic!

GOTTA SEE IT LIVE!!!!!

GMoney said...

Hockey and baseball are sports better served for people who don't have their noses buried in Rich Gannon comic books. And now we've come full circle.

Prime99 said...

LOL SHARKS! If Running Zack likes hockey (hopefully) that "local" team that is 2 hours away is a hard sell (much like the current cross country Cubs.) I've heard lots of Sharks fans talking about blowing up the core of the team. Good luck with rebuilding. Yikes.

2010 I was at a cross roads between the Blackhawks and Sharks. The Blackhawks had been my team but I admit that between the NHL '94 video game and 2010, I was not very into it. With the Sharks and Hawks facing off, I had debated who I was going to cheer for. Within 5 seconds of Game 1, I knew the Hawks were in my blood. I'll never go back to being a shitty observer. Hockey for life!

Randall Stevens said...

If Rich Gannon had a 17 year comic book run, I'm sure those comics were pretty ELITE for roughly a four year period. Once ELITE always ELITE, amiright??

Is Walleye playoff hockey they same? LOL. Just kidding. I'm sure Walleye playoff hockey is better.

If it still tastes like olives then I'm not interested. Those things are fucking nasty.

Jeff said...

Blow up the sharks? LOLZ.

Sign up the CBJ for taking Pavelski.

Mr. Ace said...

Who is pumped for the greatest Saturday in ALL OF SPORTS??? IT'S DERBY TIME!!!

GMoney said...

If CBS makes you color commentate 27 Browns games per year then you were never ELITE and never will be. I rest my case.

Sharks need to dump their silver fox coach, Thornton, Boyle and the rest of their high priced garbage. Especially Thornton. Dude is a straight up loser.

I was rooting for the Avs because they are more fun to watch but it is never a bad thing to see Patrick Roy lose.

Just a reminder that Rick Nash was fucking awful against the Flyers. I love it.

GMoney said...

HUGE BREAKING FUCKING NEWS!!!

On September 6th, Miami University will be retiring the #41 in honor of the greatest running back to ever live...MISTER TOUCHDOWN TRAVIS PRENTICE!!! GOTTA SEE THAT LIVE!!!

Cakes said...

I've always felt the same way about hockey. Those dudes are some of the baddest mofo's on the planet. The endurance needed to play hockey is amazing. I have no problem saying that those guys are some of the best athletes on the planet.

All of that being said, I just can't convince myself to give any fucks. I will always have a meaningless Tribe game in April on over the NHL playoffs.

Anonymous said...

How's that working for you?

Ide

GMoney said...

That's understandable. I wish that the sport had been bigger in Ohio during my younger years outside of moron Red Wings fans in northwest Ohio. But it wasn't so now we have to make up for lost time.

The good news is that it is growing in our state. The number of college hockey players coming from OH has increased by quite a bit. I'm not sure if we have any in the NHL yet but it's getting more and more prevalent.

What I'm trying to say here is that Ohio CARRIES THE FLAG!

Mr. Ace said...

Also agree on the style of play being attractive to potential fans. The CBJ play like a bunch of linebackers on skates and it's awesome, even if that means they go 20 minutes without a shot on goal at times. Nobody is going to buy into a finesse team.

And I don't agree that the CBJ need to win a playoff series next year. The fans will be there in force if they can just get to the playoffs. I think a couple years of that will be okay for the fanbase.

Randall Stevens said...

Remember how the Windians were making the playoffs this year? EL to the OH to the EL.

GMoney said...

IT'S STILL EARLY!!!

I would not be nearly as OK with a first round defeat next year as I was this year. First of all, I expect us to not be one of the wild cards. Second, fuck you, Cakes. Then again, as long as the effort is ELITE, I'm OK with losing as "participation ribbon-y" as that sounds. If you are busting your ass but lose to someone better, that's OK. But I don't expect to be worse than many teams soon.

It's OK to have high expectations now. The feet are wet. The teeth have been cut. Additional sports cliché about maturing.

Randall Stevens said...

Free comic book Saturday this Saturday guys. No better time than now to start reading comics.

GMoney said...

The only comic that I read is titled "2014 Cleveland Indians Season"...BURN!

Anonymous said...

That must have been the comic about their pitching staff called "The Walking Dead".

Comic burn.

Ide

Prime99 said...

http://www.comicvine.com/rich-gannon/4005-16106/

Rich Gannon IS in a comic!