Monday, April 07, 2014

The State of The Money Shot Address

"Just remember if it ain't white, it ain't right."--Norman Dale
Everyone bring it in and take a knee. Whether you comment regularly or just read daily or check in from time to time to see what we’re arguing about, come on in and gather around. We need to talk. I’m sorry—that came out wrong. I need to talk and you need to listen because I feel like we’re getting away from what the objective is here. Look me in the fucking eyes when I'm talking to you, bro.

This may come as a big shock to you but we don’t have a massive global following here at The Money Shot. I'm too old and lazy to be sending out links to bigger sites and whatnot.  We dance with who brought us here and we do it because it works. It’s not like we’re all of a sudden going to get a new influx of people to banter with and against. And that makes sense because we aren’t trying to add strangers into the mix. As Norman Dale once said, “my team is on the floor”. You all are my team. No one is replacing you. Like it or not, we’re one big family of assholes, too. Think about it: you aren’t talking to your actual family every day of the week, are you? If you are, that’s weird. That is sort of the distinction. We aren’t all “friends” but we are a little online family that likes to argue with each other and that is important.  It should mean something to you.  It does to me.

I’m not trying to single people out here but recently we’ve had some issues. I honestly don’t know if we're stepping over lines or if some of us are just being a little too sensitive but it is causing a rift. And that sucks. We don’t want that. That is not what we’re about here. We aren’t a bunch of cyber-bullies. Hell, we pretty much all know or have at least met each other and that’s great. When you can put a face and a handshake with an online moniker, that’s big. The FACT that we have all met up (three years running) is pretty goddamn special. Let’s not piss this uniqueness of that away because of petty name-calling or not being able to handle us rooting against your favorite team or whatever it might be. News flash: we all want everyone else’s teams to lose.

Look, we all have shit going on in our lives that effects how we interact here. I’m no different. You want to know something about me that has me losing sleep and constantly anxious and thus causes me to be short with people?

About a month or so ago, I was informed at work that our entire administrative office was going to be centralized down in Cincinnati. We had the options of relocating (fuck no), leaving, or waiting to see if the company could find another place to put us by the end of our fiscal year (7/31). Right now, I’m on the wait and see team. Like I said last Monday, I had an interview that would provide a pretty sizable raise and they asked for references so hopefully they are serious. But as a guy who prefers to deal with certainties, not knowing if I have gainful employment come August 1st isn’t very cool. Now I just have to make sure that I don’t take the wrong job just to have a job, but find something that is the right fit professionally and financially. What this means for the future of this site? Fuck if I know. Did I mention that my daughter is due around then?

I’m not going to lie. I am so scared. I am absolutely petrified about this whole “being a father” thing. Everyday, the wife keeps getting fatter (no offense) which only makes this more real.  Like I said, I am very particular about knowing what is going on and I don’t know shit about this. There is SO MUCH that goes into this and it is ridiculously overwhelming. Between painting a nursery and putting together all the furniture for the nursery and parenting/birthing classes and 500 baby showers and day care costs and you know CARING FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING—it’s a fucking lot to deal with right now. With all of that said and my umpiring schedule the way it is, the next weekend that I have free to myself will be when I’m dead. And I’m still tasked with doing most of the dog walking, grocery shopping, and cooking. I’m holding it together—don’t worry about that at all—and don't feel bad for me (I asked for this) but it isn’t fucking easy and it is weighing on me A LOT.

So with all that said, my life isn’t exactly the fucking cat’s ass at the moment. I love this site (even my commenters) and the escape that it provides. You can probably guess that I don’t care much for some anonymous commenter calling me an idiot for some random thing that I said about Derek Jeter a month ago. RS, Ape, and myself have agreed to provide a small distraction in all of our pointless and shitty lives each and every week day for the price of a fart because we like doing it and it is important on some level. Sometimes we all forget about that and it’s why, every few years, I need to bring everyone back and remind them what we’re about.

The Money Shot is a brief respite from real life. It allows all of us a few moments to cock off or take shit or share stories from the past or talk about food until we have another stupid meeting or have to go run an errand. Some days are better and worse than others and occasionally we go over the line. As a great man once said, DEAL WITH IT. Over the past few years, we’ve only lost one commenter and I completely understand why considering what he wants in his future. I’m not losing anyone else. None of you are going anywhere. You’re stuck. This is your shitty team and we are all a part of it. No Commenter Left Behind. Now go run a few laps around the track and hit the showers.

In conclusion, can we please start trying harder to get along (or at least be less douchey)? As our most infamous asshole might say, GIVE IT A REST. Yes, that’s all I have for today’s post. Feel free to discuss baseball or the Final Four or whatever (perhaps tales from Damman/Dut/Buke’s foray in Vegas?) while we patiently wait for Ide’s Game of Thrones premiere recap later. God bless and thank you for your support of the world's greatest website.


Grumpy said...

Who is going to give YOU a reference?

Do you have a Colt McCoy jersey yet?

Can we run the 'ol picket fence?

Anonymous said...

Could you root for UK tonight, please?

Randall Stevens said...

/slow clap.

Don't get caught watching the paint dry, Grumpy.

A lot of ELITE points were brought up here but none more important than you can't let your shit life ruin one of the small things that makes your shit life tolerable from day to day.

I get blasted pretty hard at this site on a weekly basis. Every Tuesday some Anon loser shows up to tell me how much my writing sucks. But I don't care. Because I know I'm the smartest person here. Kidding...sort of. But in all honesty it's the only place I can go every single day and do something I love. Arguing sports with a bunch of pig headed dick wads like myself. What makes it great is we have multiple personalities that follow different teams with different opinions. You're never going to have a day where everyone nods in agreement. That's hard to find and sustain for as long as we have. So DEAL WITH IT, GIVE IT A REST and CARRY THE MONEYSHOT.

GMoney said...

Picket fences are mandatory. I actually have good references. Probably not enough to offset my general unpleasantness but whatever.

I can't believe that The Streak is over. Ruined my weekend! Not really but still a shock.

The CBJ's magic number is 6. The Cbj and magic number has never been used in the same sentence before.

I find UConn to be a really "meh" program so I won't be rooting for them. I'll pull for UK but I probably will be flipping back and forth between things. I'm not really invested in two "Cinderella" shitbag teams.

CARRY THE MONEYSHOT...I don't like that, I love it!

Apparently, Damman saw Rick Pitino at a Vegas casino on Saturday. Man, do I hope that story ends with watching him impregnate somebody else's wife.

GMoney said...

By the way, back to the Final Four, I flipped back and forth between the Wiscy and UK teamcasts and they were fantastic. I loved that. Really great idea there.

Other thoughts on the end of that game:
*Yes, that was a foul on the three. No, it was not a travel. Stop being nitpicky. That building would have blown up had that contact occurred and they called a walk.
*We may despise UK fans and their coach, but this is a damn fun team to watch.
*Aaron Harrison is TOTES going to rear admiral Ashley Judd. He has earned it.
*Poor Bo Ryan...still my bro, Bo!
*The best part about Wiscy losing was that Ben Brust's total d-bag BRAHs had to eat shit. Fuck them.

I like UK to win by 3 tonight.

Mr. Ace said...

I don't know what G$ is talking about because The Money Shot is worldwide and we don't need you clowns.

But for realz, this is a sports blog on the Internet. If hardcore trash wasn't being talked everyday in the comments then most of us probably wouldn't be here. We speak recklessly because this is the space for it. I take nothing personally that is said on here and I hope you don't either. If you let blog comments effect your REAL life then this just might not be for you.

I hate all of you equally and I hope that never changes.

I can't root for Cal so I am obvs pulling for UConn. If Calhoun was still there then this would be the ultimate lose-lose.

Jeff said...

Grump, did you get your Heyward-Bey jersey? Super Bowl!!

I saw you making moves too, clowns. Just make sure to keep Nate away from the pizza boy.

"Magic number" is a foreign term, but is sure sounds nice!

Carry the Flag and the Shot!!!

GMoney said...

Ape is our Mr. Worldwide which makes sense seeing as he is worse than Pitbull and all pitbulls must die gruesomely.

Nibbles said...

If there was any corner of the world that I thought would never join the pussification of America, it'd be The Money Shot.

I think the writers getting anonymously blasted is garbage. But for a commentor to take his internet ball home seems a little over the top.

G$, you were put in this world to be an asshole to others. You showing any sort of emotion or care for others' feelings makes me uncomfortable.

This site is enjoyable because of the HATE.

Prime99 said...

Hang in there, G$. My wife was interviewing for the job see has now the day we found out she was pregnant. We were living in our small apartment still and I had left 600 hours of sick time on the table at my previous job. Things were less than ideal. However, she got that job, we bought a house (got the keys when Running Zack was 3 months old) and now I'm a knowledgeable dad. It's fucking daunting, and you'll get it all done because you have to. That's no consolation for DEALING WITH IT now, but I suspect it will get significantly better (if not busier as well.) We got your back, BRAH!

GMoney said...

As Barney Gumble once said, "don't cry for me, I'm already dead".

And that was not nearly as entertaining as Football In The Groin.

Anonymous said...

Your reasoning for rooting for UK is incredibly dumb. Even if for some reason their program is "meh"...I don't know why you think that...but, wouldn't you want a "meh" program to take down UK? Go UConn BRAH.

Tigers have the best record in baseball...NBD.

I attended the Jackets/Blackhawks game on Friday. Wild ending to that one...ridiculous amount of Chicago fans. I viewed a few rumbles in the stands...flag carriers did not enjoy their presence.


Anonymous said...

The Islanders game here was much more better. It featured an all out brawl between the cops and firemen.

I was really looking forward to seeing some Slow Takes today regarding the UK game. I'd be surprised and disappointed if he didn't come to spray some more hatred our way. THIS IS HIS TIME TO SHINE.

Due to a job search of my own in the private equity field I have deactivated my facebook. This happened about a week ago. I haven't actually missed it at all, probably because I just trolled you assholes mainly. Around the UK victory I popped back on to see some lightning quick takes, and Seal defriended me. He will rue that day.

It's not hard to find the anon people. Just have G$ post the IPs. It will be a hoot.

If anyone deserves grief for leaving it is the one you gave the OK to. LS should be berated at all costs. He doesn't need to be clean to win an election in Napoleon or any part of Ohio for that matter. If he tries to go national, he should know that I will black mail him.


Anonymous said...

Ide...I'm not on FaceBook...but, Slow supposedly unfriended Ape as well.


Jeff said...

Drew is a closet carrier!

Red Sox got swept by the Brewers. NBD. There was a ring ceremony.

GMoney said...

I really have to hand it to Prime. He could have spewed some serious vitriol at the flag bearers on Friday night after that really bizarre Blackhawks win inside NWA. Not gonna lie, that was bullshit but it was your typical Jackets loss to a superior team. Prime is all class...or he was busy and wasn't paying attention which is way more likely.

I'm very pumped for Ide's Dragon Talk today. While I was putting together the baby's dresser yesterday (estimated at weighing 6 tons), I ripped through three episodes of GoT on HBO2. It was a great day.

Second interview tomorrow morning (just found out). LOL at them buying into my lies and bullshit. I hope that this one requires dirty sex acts to show how far I will go.

Anonymous said...


I'm sure at this point we can all agree that if you don't watch this show, that you suck cock by choice. Thusly, you have AIDs. This is truly the best show going on right now (possibly ever?).

Thankfully this episode hops right into it and it was ELITE the entire way through.

RED VIPER! Oberlyn Martell is not to be trifled with. From picking out a bevy of coed sex slaves to just being an all out pimp/badass, this guy will be the second best thing all season. I love that he just rolls unto Kings Landing openly saying he's there for Lannister blood. That is how you do vengeance.

Side note: Bronn and the Red Viper need a spin off of crushing ass and slaying bros. "We'll need more women!" ELITE LINE.

Kingslayer certainly seems to be the best written character. Dude was getting it from all sides AND got rebuffed by his sister. That's cold blooded for Cersei to get pissed at Jamie and deny him some hot sibling ass.

Joffrey is still the greatest. I hope they show that statue every episode.

I'm so happy that we got to see the Thenns. Those guys are monsters, and its good to add a little cannibal spice to the show. This show does zombies and cannibals as a sub plot way better than the Walking Dead does a show. Basically, fuck that show.

LULZ at Emo Jon Snow almost getting executed at the wall. They know Snow is a badass and will need him for the fight that's to come. Giants, cannibals, barbarians, wargs, and a pissed off hot red head against a bunch of sex starved bastards? Count me in!

Tywin is still a boss. Wasn't a big fan of watching them melt Ned Starks sword down though. Just mean. It did make Sansa cry some more though.

The dragons look amazing. Glad to see they're so popular that HBO gives them all the budget. New Daario is better than that last one, but changing actors is gay. That black girl can still get it though.

Hound/Arya. Easily the best part of the show/season. Arya will always be the best. The Hound going all apeshit was great, but Arya getting hers at the end was the best. She is now the cold blooded killer we've wanted her to be from the start. Now with a pony! And needle!

"Lots of people name their swords."

"Lots of cunts."

This is going to be the best season yet.


GMoney said...

I agree with pretty much everything (outside of saying that this is the best show ever). That was terrific.

*Oberyn is going to have to knock off the lust for cock if he wants to be truly ELITE. His (I think) wife though can get it. She was hot on Rome as well.

*Always add cannibals to your show. ALWAYS.

*I can't decide between Bronn and Dog as to who the best is. And have we met The Mountain yet? He's in the first book but I can't remember us seeing him on the show.

*Hell of a start but I disagree on new Daario. He sucks. Maybe it is because he is on Nashville (which the wife watches).

Prime99 said...

I'm all class but I was busy playing 3 shows in three days. Rockin' ain't easy.

The Mountain was in season 1 breasting that dude on the jousting field. And again at Harrenhall where Arya was. He's been played by multiple actors and only made brief appearances. He's a large savage though.

Red Viper is the man. I believe he has numerous daughter bastards so he just likes to fuck whoever. Probably just likes the challenge.

Great episode last night. Ide did a great job recapping. I'm all class, never forget.

Randall Stevens said...

I tried my hardest to like GOT. Just couldn't get into it. I gave it a good try and it just wasn't for me.

I did watch the series premier of Turn last night. Has ELITE potential. The only downside is those God damn accents are so hard to understand sometimes. I'm not usually the one for political thrillers...but spies fucking rule.

Anonymous said...

The Mountain chopped that horse in half in season one with one swing of his sword. And you will be seeing A LOT of him this year.


Anonymous said...

No real crazy Vegas stories sadly. Outside of one Grant's friends trying to pull an Ide lie saying he won $20,000 playing but he lost it all right way and nobody was with him.

Pitino was just strolling around by himself at the casino. Pretty weird.


Anonymous said...

*playing roulette


Prime99 said...

I'm not sure if a person is dumber losing $20k at roulette or winning $20k at roulette. Toss up (and obviously a lie.)

Cakes said...

Good stuff! You have to take everything eith a grain of salt on this site. I guess what I'm saying is don't be a bitch.

now I need to figure out how to get this site of the "sex" filter on my work computer. its really cutting in to my HOT TAKES. I can't stand trying to comment on my phone.

GMoney said...

Phone commenting is shit. You will never hear me defend that practice.

Turn got awful reviews (for being TOTES boring) so I'm staying away. Mad Men is back next Sunday and that's all I need to know.

Grant would have a buddy who lies about big gambling wins. That does not surprise me. How was it to be with the entire Burke fam again?

Anonymous said...

Was it his i-banking buddy from NYC? I've met him a few times and he would TOTES be that guy. And Damman, as someone you've gambled with before, you know I lose honestly.

I have a buddy who plays roulette like that. It is completely possible to go up big like that. But fuck, its way too risky for me.

Or I win and Buke orders $40 worth of Bob Evans for himself when I treat the losers to breakfast.

Prime99 said...

I've gone full phone commenting since June 2012. It's not ideal, but it is what it is. Can't leave a e-trail of my ALL CLASS comments.

Mr. Ace said...

I can probably go back and delete the porn posts if it means more CakesTakes. No guarantee that it will work.

I tried to watch GoT on Netflix but it isn't streaming. Is there any place that streams it fo free? I have heard awesome things obvs but don't have HBO.

Only one Anon comment today...

GMoney said...

Or I win and Buke orders $40 worth of Bob Evans for himself when I treat the losers to breakfast.


Man, that will never stop being funny to me.

In all seriousness, I lamented long and HARD about getting rid of anonymous comments all together. But we're going to leave them be...unless anons try to get too insult-y and then I will have no problem deleting them.

For as legit as GoT was last night, Silicon Valley and Veep were also fantastic.

GMoney said...

You are absolutely not deleting the porn posts. Those are part of Money Shot lore.

Cakes said...

Veep was fucking fantastic. people don't talk about that show enough.

silicon valley was pretty good as well. that show has some potential.

I'm really happy with my choice to become an HBO person.

Anonymous said...

I finished up House of Cards before knocking out my HBO shows so Silicon Valley had to wait until tonight. There is not nearly enough chatter here about Netflix shows. I imagine its because no one here is any good at the internet.


Prime99 said...

Or maybe it's because they release the whole season at once and G$ is going to release the "House of Cards" commenting schedule for the next three months. Don't be dumb, Ide.

Prime99 said...

Isn't ^

ELITE phone comment.

Cakes said...

Elite GOT recap from Ide. this is the first time I'm actually caught up on the show and can enjoy it with the rest of the planet. I thought twitter cas going to meltdown during the last thirty minutes before the premier.

GMoney said...

I'm a very smart person and thus have no idea how Netflix even works. Isn't this why I have cable? I won't watch House of Cards because it isn't real TV.

But seriously, I don't use Netflix and barely know what it means.

Anonymous said...

So you hate Arrested Development? Anon would call you an idiot. Netflix is certainly ELITE. they have some great shows that definitely need watching. It is a bit tricky to do properly if you don't have an XBox/PS or smart TV (you should now, because, the internet is a thing), but if you can use it, its the best.

Cable is for suckers.


GMoney said...

So you hate Arrested Development?

Again, this is where we get in trouble when mental defectives put words in my fingers that weren't even remotely implied. Hell, I actually watched a few AD eps on FXX on Saturday. If it's not on a TV channel, to this old codger, it isn't real TV.

Anonymous said...

Real late post but thought I would share my thoughts...

I don't comment much but I read on a daily basis. I usually don't read until the afternoon because my job does not allow me the time to comment. I've been a long time reader for around 3-4 years and enjoy the commenting almost as the blog itself. Stepping away from our personal life problems and arguing sports makes the day a little easier and give me personally something to laugh about. The last time I check we're all men so if you can't take a little joke or teasing this site is not for you. If RS was not offended by someone calling his wife wheels then I think you should be able to handle being called a "bitch."