|"ELITE game." "ELITE game to you, too."|
Speaking of Andy Dalton, he comes nowhere near today's list of the top ten quarterbacks in the NFL in 2014. I always say that I ignore fantasy relevance and, while factoring RB and WR, that was hard but it isn't today. Numbers Never Lie but Ide does all the time and that has nothing to do with anything except for reminding everyone that Ide is a liar. Anyway, my ELITE QB rankings are slotted the way that they are for three reasons:
1. Do you win?
2. Do I trust you to win a game (big difference from #1)?
3. And, of course, how biased am I?
There are some fairly big names omitted from this list today that will stick out big time. I expect to be called out on some of these. But at the end of the day (Craig Krenzel reference!), if I don't think that you're a winner, then there's the door, Matt Ryan. Here we go:
10. Robert Griffin III - Look, last year was a nightmare while he was rehabbing his knee but he was the most electric player in the league as a rookie and actually led the Redskins to a division title. Reports out of DC are leaking that he looks fantastic again by the way.
9. Joe Flacco - Ah, yes, Mr. ELITE himself. Dude just makes the playoffs and had one of the best playoff QB runs ever two years ago. He's a dork but I trust him more than ELITE Manning or Fatty Stafford.
8. Russell Wilson - I initially had Dubs at ten but then I heard that he is divorcing his honky wife. Such a baller move! Get rid of your missus before you sign the mega contract. That's just good professional athletin'!
7. Colin Kaepernick - How do I put this sex predator and Aloe Blacc's BFF over Rusty? Simple. Kaep means more to his offense than Wilson does. By that I mean he has to do more for them to be great. Wilson has a pretty easy job (although he is a good at it).
6. Ben Roethlisberger - Yeah yeah yeah he's an idiot off the field and probably deserved way worse than what he got for what he probably did but the guy is a big game player. The last few years have been tough but Ben is a playmaker. DEAL WITH IT.
5. Andrew Luck - Old Amish Andy might even be better than advertised.
4. Aaron Rodgers - Am I crazy to think that Rodgers (Bo Ryan's best friend!) is just a tad OVERRATED? I mean, he's really good and all, but outside of the Super Bowl year, he hasn't won all that much. Then again, when you win a Super Bowl, you are ELITE. What I'm trying to say here is that I have no idea what I'm trying to say here.
3. Peyton Manning - We've been over this plenty of times before so I won't waste my time again. The FACT is that he is definitely jealous of his brother's two rings.
2. Drew Brees - I love Brees. I think that he is fantastic and I absolutely trust him more than I do Manning and Rodgers.
1.Tom Brady - No question. He has the resume and the numbers and the smoking hot wife and the UGGS (like Larry and Ide AKA two faggots!). He is a Michigan Man through and through which makes him better than the best Ohio QB ever in the pros: Mike Tomczak LOL! Anyway, Brady is the one QB in the league that I would trust the most to win me a football game. DEAL WITH IT AGAIN.
No Eli. No Cam. No Matty Ice. No Weeden! If I had to pick a #11, it would probably have been Rivers anyway. I like his moxie and his lust for our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Kirk Cousins #12 IMO. This should be a fun day to EMBRACE DEBATE. Come at me, bros, and don't forget to CARRY THE FLAG tomorrow night.