Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Open Forum: Comfort!

You ready to look at my penis?
Not a lot of meat to today's post as I take a half day in preparation for tonight's game 4 at Nationwide Arena.  It is certain to be an ELITE night even if it is spent with Mr. Ace.  I GUARANSHEED to be tense throughout which is to be expected.  If I let my guard down then the team might let theirs down as well and I don't need to be the reason why we struggle.  So today is meant to discuss comfort as I try to remain calm all day before battling on this evening.  Below are five types of clothing/accessories that are mandatory for old G$.

*Sunglasses - I don't recall ever wearing these until I was 25 or so but now I won't leave the house without a pair.  I respect the sun and its harmful UV rays.  But I'll be damned if I spend more than 20 bucks on a pair since they are easy to lose and/or break.  In FACT, I stumbled on a new pair while sitting at The Stube on Saturday.  They just came to me out of nowhere.  Mine now, bruh.

*Vintage t-shirts - Since pretty much any shirt made in the 80s is about as comfortable as it gets, I would really love to punch the lights out of the asshole who decided to go away from that fabric type. 

*Basketball Shorts - I have a pair of black adidas shorts that I've had for years and they are the best.  The material appears to be the same as Councilman Jamm's ELITE satin blue jacket.  I love these shorts so much.  I wish that it was socially acceptable to wear hoops shorts in public because I would be all over that.

*Sweatpants - Oh, you can't beat a good pair of sweatpants.  Not that they make them with pockets...forget about it!  Perfection!  I do wish that they went back and time and combined the pockets look with the rugged elastic at the ankles and waist.  I don't need the drawstring.  Give me the elastic, please.  Napoleon Football Spirit Packs (yes, these existed) always included the finest late 90's sweatpants.  I love you, sweatpants.

*Sandals/flip-flops - Being a hayseed from rural Ohio, I'm not the biggest fan of wearing shoes and socks.  I like to let my sexy feet breathe and make weirdos hot and bothered with my hairy toe knuckles.  Socks suck.

I figured that everyone can add something to this sort of conversation.  I'm sure that an asshole like Ide will talk about how he can't live without his Brooks Brothers suits or Randall Stevens can give out dressing tips for first class flyin'.  What a couple of assholes they are.  Those who are not ELITE should stop pretending to be ELITE IMO.  Let's get comfortable today and always remember to CARRY THE FLAG!

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

G$...are u not aware of Homage shirts? They have that fabric.

My feet need to breathe as well...I basically wear sandals until there is a foot of snow.

Air conditioning comforts me.

Wings sucked last night...must win tomorrow.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

I always go commando for the most ELITE comfort. Think about that at RibFest next year.

Anonymous said...

Nothing is better than flip flops/sandals.

How about people who wear socks with sandals? I could totally see Gmoney being one of those guys.

Larry

Mr. Ace said...

Hoodies are a year round necessity.

I have also been known to wear my slippers/houseshoes out and about. No regrets.

Nibbles said...

Back at NHS, we went to school with a gentleman that tried pulling off the sweater vest with no shirt underneath.

To make matters worse, the guy hit puberty at the age of ten, so he had chest hairs poking through the vest.

I don't know if he did that in the name of comfort or not.

Anonymous said...

Its funny you say that, I just took my 3 Brooks Brothers summer suits to the cleaners today. For work wear, there is nothing more comfortable. I guess that working in suits everyday has changed my outlook, because with a nice pair of socks and a great suit, I'm always comfortable.

Vintage = poly/cotton/rayon blend. Its not an 80s thing.

Hoodies are indeed ELITE.

Sadly, I gave up flops. I LOVE flip flops, but they are near impossible to wear in NYC. Seems more appropes for Brooklyn, so stay tuned. As a substitute, I wear Sperry's and those are pure comfort. I have a pair of Toms for the weekends if I'm feeling ironic and those are great.

PJ pants. I wore them to high school, I wear them to the store. Paired with a hoodie, zero fucks are given. All the comfort is taken.

Cashmere. I'll get shit for this, but I have around 20 cashmere sweaters. If you spring the extra cash, its TOTES worth it. Real talk though, I have overly sensitive skin which blows all the dicks in the dry winter (remember my steam room stories) and cashmere is the one thing that feels amazing for me. I get called out on it plenty, but oh well, I'll trade you my awful skin (great pigment not included) for your merino wool sweaters.

Fresh socks too.

Ide

Nibbles said...

Ide thinks he's J Peterman

Anonymous said...

Baseball hats. I have at least one for each day of the month, and I like ones I get for free or get as a result of coaching a youth league team.

GMoney said...

I guess that working in suits everyday has changed my outlook, because with a nice pair of socks and a great suit, I'm always comfortable.

This absolutely surprises no one. I'm not going to call anyone names but you're clearly a douche bag.

Hoodies = OVERRATED...yeah, I said it. I prefer the long sleeve tee. I guess I just don't want to get shot by rambunctious security guards.

I have a lot of Homage shirts. I also have a few actual shirts from the 80s that might even be more comfortable. The Dr J tee that I got from my old man is made out of 100% clouds.

Jeff said...

They're called Neighborhood Watchmen.

Shades, especially for getting your stare on and not looking creepy.

Anonymous said...

This absolutely surprises no one. I'm not going to call anyone names but you're clearly a douche bag.

This coming from a guy who likely rolled into his latest job interview looking like Matt Foley. Not my fault that my job makes me dress better than a third grade teacher. Lookin' good in those Dockers, bruh!

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

ARE MY JOSEPH A BANKS SUITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?!?!

Also G$, what's the plan for this evening?

GMoney said...

I was thinking about leaving the house around 5:30--get parked by 6--get porked by 6:30. I'll probably park in the Lodge Bar lots. Pick a bar to meet at.

Shades are mos def necessary to eye-hump. The perfect accomplice!

I give no fucks about what people have to wear to work. Unless you get to rock sweatpants every day, I will never be jealous of your attire. The only thing that matters is how you carry your flag.

Also: the Bulls are ass.

Jeff said...

30 mins to drink cheap beer before the price goes up (unless your roadies are 4 Lokos)? You're taking a half day, get your ass down there at 3 or 4.

Randall Stevens said...

I almost never leave the house without some type of ball cap on. You know...on days I'm not going to work in my Dockers. LOL. Ide is Patrick Bateman. One day he's going to start murdering people in his apartment with Phil Collins blaring in the backround because Bryce preferred VanPatten's business card to his.

When I was in college some chick I was dating was in some pre med program or some shit. She had access to unlimited scrub pants and gave me quite a few. Those things are tremendous and I wore them to class almost every day. Sweatpants are about as ELITE as it gets though.

At the risk of sounding like Ide, I've been rocking scarves in the winter time. Not the $300 ones for fashion but the $20 ones for warmth. I always scoffed at the "difference" scarves make until I actually wore one. Jesus Christ. Worth it.

Prime99 said...

Hoodies and flip flops are the best. I realized my cats were out of food so I literally just went to the store in my BLACKHAWKS hoodie, Jordan basketball shorts and flip flops. All comfort.

Ide, do you eat Snickers with a knife and fork? Are you friends with Lovie since you are ALL CLASS? I heard "Meet Virginia" on my errand this morning. Are you happy that all Train songs remind me of you?

GMoney said...

I've got to work tomorrow so unfortunately, getting bombed on expensive brew-dogs is out of the question.

No guff from me...if I'm walking the dog in the winter, a scarf will be on. I've even been known to double scarf/double stocking cap during this especially cold ass winter. ELITE warmth.

Rando, if you don't acknowledge the spirit pack then you're fired. That's an ELITE reference by me and someone will congratulate me for it. You will never lose your Napoleon Attitude. Not on my watch.

underrated but incredibly white trash - the homemade cut-off t-shirt...sometimes, sleeves just get in the way of letting dem pythons breathe!

Anonymous said...

Bulls are ass. They have no offense whatsoever. When your offense is going thru Kurt Heinrich down the stretch you have issues. The wizards cause a lot of mismatches for the bulls. Also the refs have been awful in this series on both sides of the floor.

I am a fan of Sperry's as well and I have a pair of Uggs that are perfect for the winter.

Larry

GMoney said...

In case you didn't read that closely, Larry just admitted to owning Uggs and enjoying them. Congrats on being the new worst.

Anonymous said...

Larry just topped Ide for The Worst today.

--Drew

Randall Stevens said...

My spirit pack usually ended up at the bottom of my closet. Because I lacked spirit.

Larry is OBVZ still hurting from that loss last night and is feeling vulnerable enough to admit he owns UGGZ. Bold move, man.

Anonymous said...

I welcome all Patrick Bateman comparisons. Dude was sharp. And Huey Lewis and the News is always welcome in my house.

I haven't even reached Uggs level, however I work a block from the Uggs Mens Store, and it doesn't look half bad, if you can get past Tom Brady parading around a runway in them (actual marketing). I went with Sorel for my winter boots, because if they are good enough for the fucking Alaskan frontier, they are good enough for me.

I have plenty of scarves, they are indeed ELITE. Only dumbshits think they are gay, and only bigger dumbshits don't wear them.

Every man should own a pair of Sperrys. They are the tuxedo t shirts of today.

I wear shades, however, since I wake up before the sun comes out, I rarely take them out with me, which blows dicks on days like today. Unfortunately, my head is massive (so much smarts!) and i can only wear a few brands. Or aviators. But only asses wear aviators.

Ide

GMoney said...

Best NHS Football Tee Slogan:

Got to be either BUST HEADS or DETTIMMOC, right? I see no other options and unfortunately those were both before my playing days. Our best option was SEEK AND DESTROY and that was just a Metallica rip-off. EVERYTHING ZEN would have been more fitting at the time.

Prime99 said...

There wasn't SMELLS LIKE CAT SPIRIT? Disappointing.

Anonymous said...

So apparently Lance Stephenson beat the shit out of Evan Turner last night before the game. That is all the LULZ.

Ide

GMoney said...

Before game 1, I thought, but yeah that had to be hilarious with the biggest thug on the team pounding on the biggest bitch in the league.

Ape, Married Dut says to get downtown earlier than 5:30 due to parking issues. Give me a place to meet and I'll be there.

Randall Stevens said...

I was pretty partial to the football slogan, "Never Again". The message John F. conveyed after my senior season where we went 3-7. It really celebrated our shittiness the year before.

I never had the DETTIMMOC shirt. It was because I lacked TNEMTIMMOC.

GMoney said...

I love how your senior season was John Snoad's 9/11.

In college, I used to get drunk and wear a black NBA-brand headband. I'll tell you what: headbands are damn comfortable.

Anonymous said...

Shades, t-shirts, basketball shorts, headbands, sweatpants, sandals. G$ dresses like fucking Nelly.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Yes I do wear uggs. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

How in the hell do you think sweatshirts are OVERRATED?? Now it can be difficult to find a sweatshirt with the perfect arm length and that is also long enough but when you do there is nothing better

Larry

Mr. Ace said...

Where we meeting for pregame sexcapades? Daniel said Garage bar wasn't bad monday. But I am down for whatever.

Mr. Ace said...

Or BBR because Dut says it's good times.

GMoney said...

Torg is going to be at BBR! Let's meet there.

I said hoodies. I didn't say sweatshirts. You people can't read. I find the hood unnecessary most of the time.

So now we're going to act like Nelly isn't ELITE? You don't have what it takes to be #1.

Randall Stevens said...

G$ wears sweatshirts sans hood like an 80 year old man. LULZ!

Prime99 said...

Does G$ wear sweatshirts with a majestic deer or lion on them? Maybe a wolf?

John P said...

Uggs = teen girl or fag. And the puss who invented those shoes with toes deserves his own place in hell. Fucking gay!