"What. This?? Oh...this is something I had just laying around."
About a year ago I started reading comic books again. And fuck you. Comics are awesome. It's not just grown men dressing up in tights and fighting villains anymore. There are a shit load more story arcs out there covering more than just super heroes. I'm sure you anal warts will try and find a way to roast me for this confession but whatever. I don't care.
So this last weekend I decided to go to a comic convention for the first time out of morbid curiosity. I've always been intrigued by this whole other world dominated by the losers we all used to Richie Incognito while growing up. Plus my brother lives in the host city so I figured why the hell not. If nothing else I get to hang out with him for a weekend. Oh boy. Best $40 I've ever spent. Here's a small taste of some of the shit that went on.
Every stereotype you've ever known about comic conventions is absolutely true. These things are nerd fucking heaven, man. Some observations over the weekend:
-This is nerd girl version of Halloween. You know how every Halloween, slutty girls find new and improved ways to dress up like complete whores in 30 degree weather? Well, replace slutty girls with nerdy slutty girls for comic conventions. The first chick I saw in the parking garage when we pulled in was dressed in this white unitard/one piece bathing suit that barely held her tits in. I'm not sure what the fuck she was supposed to be but if she was shooting for "Camel Toe Girl" then she slammed it out of the park.
-I'm not paying for your autograph. They charged for celebrity signatures and it's insane how many people actually waited in line to pay money to get autographs of people who really don't matter. Deputy Dipshit from The Walking Dead was there and he had about 9 people waiting in line to get his Herbie Hancock. Nine. The Red Ranger from a TV show cancelled back in the 90's had more people in his line for his worthless signature. LOL. Everyone hates you, Carl. The convention was also charging for pictures on top of that. Thirty bucks a pop. No thank you and go fuck yourself. Instead I was able to snap a few photos of my own FO FREE. Like this guy:
He was signing 2x4's for fans. I ALMOST got in line to get one. ALMOST. But then my smarter self said that $30 for a signed piece of wood was a really stupid thing to buy. You almost had me, James.
-The coolest part about this whole convention was the guys selling their art. Some of it was ridiculously expensive ($700 for a pencil sketch of Wolverine) and some of it was really reasonable. It just depended on how famous the guy was I guess. I was able to find a guy who sold me two original canvas paintings he did for $150 total. One of Walter White and the other of Dexter.
Overall it was just as nerdy as I thought it was going to be but I had a really good time despite being surrounded by 3,000 virgins. I would TOTES go again. I suggest going if there is ever a convention near you in the future. It's more than just dorks in costumes trying to buy comics.
Before I go, I really should mention just how fucking awesome the NBA playoffs have been so far. I feel this FACT has been glossed over because of Don Sterling being a racist asshole. Both top seeds in the East and West are in danger of getting first rounded. I would guess if both ate shit that would be the first time in league history both one seeds failed to make it out of the first round. Ace's Twitter silence had been both deafening and delicious.
The Blazers/Rockets series has been flat out tremendous. Even though the Blazers have a commanding 3-1 lead, you can't argue with 3 of those 4 games going into OT.
Half of the series are knotted up at two games a piece as we sit right now and most of these games have been decided in the last 2 minutes of the game. AND IT'S ONLY ROUND ONE! If you haven't been entertained by the NBA playoffs thus far then you're probably a gigantic douche bag. Here's to the Spurs (hopefully) going down 3-1 last night. LOL Ace.