Thursday, April 10, 2014

Naked & Afraid: 3 songs

She's Totally Saying Yes
Let's lighten the mood and eliminate these Kentucky blues(BOOM!). G$ dropped a great topic a few days back, Current ELITE TV shows, and I am going to pick up where he left off. No, I'm not going to tell you about the top Vegan/Science/Black shows on TV right now, although if you're looking to cover the black and science category then Cosmos is a must.

Naked and Afraid is one of my favorite shows right now. Madagascar, Siberia, Bolivia, or Compton, I don't give a fuck, I am watching that shit. (HOLY FUCK I just thought of the TV show ever! White people in Compton!) I watched the Madagascar episode this past weekend which featured a hippie and a Mormon, a match made in Christian Mingle heaven. These ass holes were able to kill two snakes, which is a dinner at Ruth's Chris compared to what most pairs eat. The first snake the Mormon clown cooked until it turned into petrified wood. The second time they tried to smoke it, but their smoker contraption fell over and started blazing, destroying their snake dinner yet again. I really fucking hated that Mormon, especially after he snuggled with a pretty hot hippie chick over night to stay warm and then went and prayed to Joseph Smith for forgiveness the next morning. Joseph put you in this position to bang granola gash and you didn't take advantage of his blessing. Joseph Smith hates you.

As I was watching this show I was also listening to music, because that's just what I do.  And this got me thinking about what type of music I would bring with me if I were ever in the position to be stranded on some hellish place for three weeks. Would I just go with straight rap because that is 90% of what I listen to? Would I want some rage music to get me all fucking jacked to have mosquitos biting my scrote all night? Or maybe some classical to keep me calm when I haven't had clean water in 5 days? I am I firm believer that a good playlist can get you through anything.

If she ever found herself on this show it would break every form of media.

So the topic I came up with today is what three songs would you take with you if you were to be stranded on an island with another person for 21 days? And this would be just like Naked & Afraid; you don't know who your partner is, you can't use your music device for anything other than listening purposes, and you have to share this music with your partner, just like they do with the one item they get to bring with them.

Things that I had to factor in when thinking about what songs I would want are:
Length of song
General vibe of song
Do I give a fuck about what my partner might want to hear

3. Rage Against The Machine - Killing in the Name. I feel like in some crazy, unpredictable environment you need some FUCK SHIT UP music. Hacking your way through a jungle with a machete? FUCK SHIT UP! Paddling across the ocean on a raft made of balsa wood? FUCK SHIT UP! Going completely delirious and murdering your she-bitch partner? FUCK SHIT UP! RAGE is pretty much the only go to I have for that, I don't know dick about the hardcore/headbanger/scream rock genre, and I am also a fuck the establishment type of person. WIN-WIN.  Also Killing in the Name is just over 5 minutes, which is pretty solid when most tracks are between 3 and 4.

2. Bob Dylan - The Hurricane. I love me some Golden Oldies and Bob Dylan is one of my favorites. A lot of fantastic music that guy has created. The Hurricane isn't my favorite Dylan song, but it is the longest and tells a great story. Denzel Washington was fantastic in the movie based on Rubin "The Hurricane" Carter, which begs the question "Why did Denzel have to be crooked before he took it?"(Anybody?) This story of horrible racism, white guilt, and redemption also happens to take up over NINE MINUTES! As I lay there combing fire ants out of my pubes, listening to the story of Rubin Carter might make my nightly hell more manageable.

1. Outkast - SpottieOttieDopaliscious. This is my favorite song of all time. You give me jazz horns, some synthesizer, and Andre 3000 and Big Boi? You have a musical orgasm, my friends. Who else really want to fuck with Hollywood Court? Thought so. 7 minutes of musical bliss can get you through anything. Between my freshmen and sophomore year of college I found a fucking horrible factory job making molded plastic parts for the Ford Focus'. Every night at 2 AM I would go to my car, crank this up, and pray for a meteor to destroy the plant and all the inbreds inside it. The meteor never came, thus spawning my journey into atheism, but I realized that all I really needed was some Outkast.

Other songs considered:
Tupac - California Love. Because you can never go wrong with gangster.
OAR - Crazy Game of Poker. Listening to this would take me back to great high school memories of Dut being the biggest homewrecker ever and videotapes of Nate fingerblasting skanks in his basement.
Coolio - Gangstas Paradise. I have no idea why.
Anything Biggie because he is the best. Don't try to dispute this, BIde.

So what say you Money Shot Maniacs? What 3 songs are you taking with you? I have some predictions.

G$: He wouldn't take any music because he is a soulless super hipster.
Ide: Something that just came out yesterday so he can tell his partner about how he discovered the song before the group made it.
Prime: All Green Day.
Randall: Blink 182 and Avril Lavigne. Probably Pink, too.
Drew: Eminem, Royce da 5'9", and D12. DETROIT WHAT!
Seal: Something racist like Nugent.
Cakes: Is there anything gayer than Spice Girls? That.
Dut: Whatever the next 3 songs on KISS FM are.
Lange: Body Head Bangerz.
Larry: Whatever his wife tells him to.

So come join in the fun and compliment me on my superior music taste. Or let everyone know how gay you are and call Kate Upton a cow or something.

55 comments:

Grumpy said...

Dylan: Forever Young
The Boss: Born To Run
Seger: Night Moves

Mr. Ace said...

Real strong fucking effort, Grump.

Jeff said...

CBJ: Playoffs

Pay me my money!!!

Jeff said...

Metallica: Fade to Black
Dead Prez: Hip Hop
Bush: Glycerine

Fucking tough to narrow it down to 3.

MUDawgfan said...

The Boss: Brilliant Disguise
Tom Petty: Breakdown
Hall and Oates: Outta Touch, Outta Time

Anonymous said...

Night Cheese > Night Moves.

Outkast - BOB I'm seeing them in concert in June. If they don't play EVERYTHING I riot. But this song was great from sporting events to drinking to working out. It covers all the bases.

Grateful Dead - Friend of the Devil. Can't go HAM all day erryday. This would do nicely for those cold nights in my twig tent in Bolivia.

Sade - No Ordinary Love. There will be sex. Forcibly or otherwise. DEAL WITH IT naked survivor.

I saw my first Broadway show last night after scoring some free tickets to Rocky: The Musical. I have to say, it was pretty ELITE. Apollo Creed rolling around in a mink jacket the entire show singing "Can you dig it?" was all the LULZ. Plus it featured not one but two (!!) training montages. And racism!

Ide

GMoney said...

WE IN THE PLAYOFFS, BRUH!!! CARRY IT! And we passed the Wings because OBVZ better!

Ironically, I was sort of thinking of this topic at the gym yesterday during my training montage for when I hoist the Cup soon.

Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah might be the best song ever but it's sort of depressing so that is out. Got to have some Motley to let the area predators know that I'm not fucking around. There must be some rap. And a song that would fit into my final scenes where I'm nearing death due to being swallowed by a snake.

Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home
Big Tymers - #1 Stunna
Pearl Jam - Black

Grumpy said...

What did you expect, Ace, Nine Inch Nails?

Jeff said...

Grump, he probably pegged you as more of a Marilyn Manson type.

Mr. Ace said...

Good call on Dead Prez!

Grump, I have no issue with your choices. I have issue with your lack of explanation. Educate these youngins.

I know nothing about Motley Crue or Grateful Dead.

Nibbles said...

Brass Monkey
Girls
Welcome to the Jungle


What have you done to Beat Defiance today?

GMoney said...

Any person with self respect doesn't know about the Dead. Motley, though, shame on you. If you've never heard Girls Girls Girls then congratulations on never going to a strip club before, ya Mormon queer.

GMoney said...

LOL at Nibbles for wanting to bring Lena Dunham's horrible show with him!

Have I mentioned CARRY THE FLAG? Oh I have? Then why aren't you? PASS PHILLY!

Jeff said...

I'm just glad my presale purchase of CBJ playoff tix will NOT be refunded this year!!!!

Prime99 said...

Ape picking Green Day for me is retarted. You're either making a joke or you haven't been paying attention. There's a 90's music draft on this very site where I don't make Green Day a priority. I like them enough, but they are not in my Top 20 favorite bands, let alone 3 desert island songs.

There's aren't my 3 favorite, but quickly considering LENMPH and quality, varying moods, etc,:

Aenima by Tool
Where the River Goes by STP
Only In Dreams by Weezer

Grump, ain't nothing wrong with Nine Inch Nails.

Jeff said...

For those of you that have watched Naked and Afraid, is it just me or doesn't it seem TOTES easier to survive in near a beach/ in the mountains than in the swamp or jungle. Constant rain and mosquitoes blows all the dicks.

Anonymous said...

Ape...you're pretty much spot on. If I'm in the jungle for 21 days, I'm going to be listening to a lot of angry Eminem.

I watched an episode of "Naked and Afraid" last night. They pretty much didn't eat anything until a big snake on the second to last night. Can't these people just eat leaves and stuff...ya know go vegetarian for 21 days?

Wings and the Flag Carriers get in on the same night...now we both try to avoid Boston.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Jeff....the bites that those people that stay in the jungle get from bugs all over their asses are just gross. They look like their ass got an awful case of chicken pox.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

These are songs to survive to. Many people are just listing their favorite songs and RS just listed License to Ill songs.

Prime TOTES listens to Longview in the wilderness.

CBJ Carrying HARD last night. I got in trouble by the missus when I tweeted CTF during intermission. She's a Blackhawks fan so fuck her. I pray there is a massive Flyer choke and we jump them to play the Rangers in the playoffs.

Ide

Prime99 said...

G$- shame on us for not selecting Danzig.

I strongly considered OAR as well. But they are more appropriate for chilling at the beach with a beer, not survival mode.

GMoney said...

Since when was Ide dating? Nice drop-in there. He must be hot as fuck.

I take my picks back. If you want to SURVIVE then the only answer is SURVIVOR. You get three songs from Rocky and you can dominate the world.

No Easy Way Out
Burning Heart
Hearts On Fire

Huh...Survivor sang a lot of songs about hearts.

Yes, N&A would be a tad easier on a beach simply because you have better access to tasty creatures. I would never want to live in a cave. Bats? Fuck that. It still kills me to watch people kill and eat snakes. So gross. More disgusting than a non-well done filet!

I think that I'm going to order playoff tickets tomorrow. 60 bones for upper deckers is steep but the CBJ did enough work doggy this year for me to throw down some extra coin. They go on sale tomorrow at 9 AM.

I would rather play Boston than Pittsburgh. We are 0-5 against the Pens only 0-2-1 against the Bruins!

And I love that we are only allowing Ohio residents to buy tickets for the first 96 hours. I didn't like it when Seattle did it for the NFCC game but it is a necessity for us.

Prime99 said...

G$ is going to be pissed when he realizes only one of those songs is by Survivor.

GMoney said...

Is that a FACT? I'm crushed!

But you know what? Thanks to Jeff, I just bought tickets to game 4! CARRY IT!!!

Anonymous said...

Why were you pissed that Seattle did that? I've got zero issues with teams doing that...it's smart.

G$....How about the song "Survivor" by Destiny's Child?

--Drew

GMoney said...

Because it was unnecessary for them since they have the GOAT fans according to themselves.

Anonymous said...

It's not "unnecessary" when a SF fan has an equal shot of buying a ticket via Ticketmaster as someone who lives in Seattle. You're smarter than that.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

The Doors - This is the end; this is your classic Vietnam/apocalypse now morning toon to set the tone for the days battle.

Pantera - Step; for chopping wood, killing snakes, and being a general badass throughout the day. This will be on repeat all day.

Pink Flord - shine on your crazy diamond; stempthy lempth and a solid night time toon to make you feel like everything is going to be alright!

- j Saul

Anonymous said...

Pantera - walk*

Jsaul

GMoney said...

Fuck The Seahawks--how about that for an answer that makes all the sense in the world.

Pantera on a deserted island would definitely be ELITE.

By the way, if anyone is interested in being my +1 for game 4 (date TBA) let me know because my usual flag carrying partner is unavailable and LOL at me asking my stupid wife. 70 bones.

Mr. Ace said...

I was totes joking Prime, I assumed you hated Green Day or at least what they became.

I have heard Motley songs, but when I hear them I don't immediately think of the band.

Unless u r familiar with the area then I don't think you want to go around eating random plants.

Randall Stevens said...

I wonder how much FUBU Ace wears in order to convince everyone that he's serious about his rap. Probably a lot.

At the risk of sounding like Ide, I have to admit I don't listen to overly popular bands. Most of my playlist is probably constructed of bands most people here have never heard of/never listen to. So if you don't know my songs then DEAL WITH IT.

It Must Really Suck to be Four Year Strong Right Now - Four Year Strong.
It's only a little over 3 minutes but this song gets my blood pumping like no other. Most FYS will do that to me but this one in particular makes me really dial in.

Konstantine - Something Corporate
After getting jacked up with FYS I'll need something to pull me back in. This beaut clocks in at over 9 minutes and is almost all piano.

Nubs - NOFX
My last song is a combination of awesome and comedy in a song written about a girl with no arms and legs. I feel that being starving in the woods for 21 days I won't have much to laugh about. This song kills me every time I listen to it no matter what mood I happen to be in. The only downfall is that it is very very short. Like all NOFX songs are.

Mr. Ace said...

Any idea on when game 4 would be? I would totes go as long as I will be in town.

Grumpy said...

I hope it's the Bruins so I can watch Reilly Smith kick your ass.

Anonymous said...

G$...still waiting on word if "Survivor" by Destiny's Child qualifies as a survivor song.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

I ONLY PICKED ONE RAP SONG! That is the equivalent of wearing a Phat Farm sweater.

I kept my picks mainstream because nobody would know any Earl Sweatshirt or Sporty Thieves songs. RS and his garage bands r obvs too cool for that.

Who sings that Let The Bodies Hit the Floor song? I would consider that. I pretty much never listen to music for purposes of creating rage/getting amped, but being on that show I would be open to anything.

Jeff said...

Ape, Drowning Pool.

Along those same lines, Godsmack - I Stand Alone or Cryin' Like a Bitch, would be good.

Randall Stevens said...

The Hurricane was a great movie. It's just too bad that almost all of it was completely false.

By the time Carter was 22 he had been arrested and jailed multiple times for street muggings, assault and robbery. He was also kicked out of the military after being court martial'ed four times. In the end, Carter was actually convicted of murder twice but his 2nd case was thrown out by the judge because the prosecution failed to turn over evidence. Not because anyone found this hidden, mystery evidence proving his innocence.

I wonder if that changes Ace's mind about having "The Hurricane" on his playlist.

Randall Stevens said...

The lead singer of Drowning Pool, Dave Williams, was found dead on their tour bus back in '02. Talk about bodies hitting the floor. ZING!!!

GMoney said...

Ape, won't know until Sunday or Monday but they start on Wednesday and Thurs so my guess would be game 4 is somewhere between 4/23-25.

Destiny's Child ALWAYS counts.

ELITE Ruben Carter takes!

Jeff said...

Speaking of dead lead singers, RIP Dave Brockie. Lead singer of GWAR obvz.

GMoney said...

Stauskas is going pro? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Mr. Ace said...

RS, that all sounds like a false flag to me.

Randall Stevens said...

OBVZ I want Stauskas to stay but leaving is the right call for him. He's projected as a late lottery pick and that stock won't improve by coming back for his Junior year. He can only hurt his draft stock at this point. At this point it's all speculation anyway since Stauskas just tweeted that he has not come to a decision yet.

Jeff said...

LOL @ Calipari writing a book about how he would change the NCAA. No shit you want to give players a stipend and allow them to take loans cause YOU ALREADY DO THAT!!!!

Anonymous said...

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Get mad get a move on

Allman Brothers - Rambling Man
No real reason

Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb
If I have to bleed out or if I eat something poisonous or hallucinogenic.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, if Stauskus bolts...I don't see why it's LOL-worthy. He's a late lotto pick...smart move.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Stauskas is gone and he should be. Everybody else should come back, though.

CARRY IT!

Prime99 said...

Mad respek for Dawg picking Out of Touch by Hall & Oates.

GMoney said...

I guess that I'm just not used to seeing Canuck nerds be lotto picks. I mean, what's his ceiling? Poor man's JJ Redick? He doesn't have the body or skillz to go anywhere inside the three point line. GO BACK TO CANADA is what I'm trying to say.

Yep, Mr. Ace has laid claim to my extra game 4 ticket (barring it being on a Saturday which I don't think that it will be). He is dying to SEE IT LIVE!

You can never go wrong with Cher. AMIRITE Shook's Son and Uncle T???

Prime99 said...

Kaepernick being investigated for sexual assault...

Randall Stevens said...

G$...have you not heard of Stauskas and LeVert's RIGOROUS off season work out program?! Stauskas could easily look like Ivan Drago by the beginning of next season.

Mr. Ace said...

Stauskas is 6'6", has a super wet jumper, is okay at finishing at the rim (at Nba level), and is a good distributor. He is a fit in any system. Also, STEVE NASH!

Tattoos and rape culture go hand and hand. White people knew it all along.

Anonymous said...

I have no doubt Stauskus's NBA career will shit on Kentavious Caldwell-Pope's career.

--Drew

GMoney said...

^^^LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL that was good...KCP!

Mr. Ace said...

Never forget. TREY BURKE SICK